A Poem.. People say I'm good at poetry... | Page 1 | [15]~ Stories ~ | Guild Forums

Thunderalchemist13

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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 8:29 am

I was bored one night... And we were about to open up our poetry unit in Language Arts... Soooo.. I made a poem! OH NOOS~!

Here it is:

You walk down the street.
A long journey you were set on, to defeat.
You feel like you could accomplish anything,
In fact as you continue you start to sing

In the middle of that soft tune,
Leaves fall and surround the road
By you a friend sprints past.
You decide you won’t even ask.

Continuing on your way
You decide to stop and play
Cheering and laughing and jumping about
There isn’t a worry or a doubt.

The rain falls to the ground
You pretend not to hear a sound.
Twirling and cart wheeling, you tumble to the ground.
Sprinting home you cover your head

Arriving through the door,
You take off your wet jacket,
Plopping down on your bed,
Thinking this memory is set for dead.

--

I know I suck at poetry don't I?! And what I mean by "Thinking this memory is set for the dead" is That when I grow up, this happy memory will be just that... A memory that will most likely be forgotten.

Sorry for it being deep...

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:43 pm

wat

CRAZY BETCH D8

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Thunderalchemist13

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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:18 pm

Yeah hard to understand right? sweatdrop

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:01 pm

I think you are good...
And it is good that you are deep...
But try keeping a set ryhming scheme throughout the piece...
Otherwise you end up losing people...
Just a thought!! I liked it though!

xXWhoWants2BNormalNeWayXx

Mega Sex Symbol

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Asen the Terror of Death

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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:25 pm

it's better than i thought it would be

Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:50 pm

that was really good,u shold make more.it was kinda hard 2 understand at first but once u catch on its really good ninja

winna312

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Sailor_Neptune_Michiru16

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Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:55 am

I don't get it. question

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:44 am

I really think you'r good I wish on the poll I couldve picked yes and your very good!! but I couldnt I really liked your poem smile smile smile

steviecullen14

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Bj-Slim

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Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:52 am

that was a good poem, i liked the way you wrote about something that could happen anyday, yet make it more symbollic and you had some good detail, you could have also made it a freelance poem, and added more detail, but overall i was really impressed : ) great job.

Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 7:43 pm

Thank you for the complements and critisism! I'll keep all the advise in mind as I continue to write. Thanks! 4laugh Now I don't feel awkward about my poetry... biggrin

Thunderalchemist13

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use condiments

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Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 4:57 pm

Thunderalchemist13

I was bored one night... And we were about to open up our poetry unit in Language Arts... Soooo.. I made a poem! OH NOOS~!

Here it is:

You walk down the street.
A long journey you were set on, to defeat.
You feel like you could accomplish anything,
In fact as you continue you start to sing

In the middle of that soft tune,
Leaves fall and surround the road
By you a friend sprints past.
You decide you won’t even ask.

Continuing on your way
You decide to stop and play
Cheering and laughing and jumping about
There isn’t a worry or a doubt.

The rain falls to the ground
You pretend not to hear a sound.
Twirling and cart wheeling, you tumble to the ground.
Sprinting home you cover your head

Arriving through the door,
You take off your wet jacket,
Plopping down on your bed,
Thinking this memory is set for dead.

--

I know I suck at poetry don't I?! And what I mean by "Thinking this memory is set for the dead" is That when I grow up, this happy memory will be just that... A memory that will most likely be forgotten.

Sorry for it being deep...

SPEcial <3

Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 6:03 pm

It's ok to be deep.

Sometimes some people go to deep in my opinion, but you did not, which is a thumbs up.

biggrin

And if someone tells you it's not good, don't make that stop you, with practice and study of poetry, looking back on past poets and such, you could amount to anything with your writings.

Good Luck ^^