Help, Guy help.

[Eienchi]

There is this guy. Hes 21. (im 22) And we've worked together for a long while now. He's such a good friend. He's my mentor in the chef industry and helps me a lot. We hang out, go out and just be friends. We go to arcades and silly stuff. He'd give me advice and I'd help, and vice versa.
I thought for a while he might have had a crush on me, but I pushed past it. He has a GF and shes so sweet, and shes about 2 months pregnant with his child and they are pretty serious, even though they haven't been going out for awhile( i was really mad at him when he told me she was pregnant. I was like..."why werent you careful damn it. But yeling won't fix whats happened, so my best bet is to stick by them) . I know they didn't mean to get pregnant but it happened. And I helped Them when their parents got mad and I stood by them. Thats what friends do.
So tonight he and I were texting back and fourth as we normally do.
"how was work?"
"Oh man it was hell"
Simple things.
Then i get the,
him: "So i have something to tell you"
Me: "oh don't tell me its twins" I tease him about that because his GF is a twin, and his mother is a Twin.
"Lol no, I know this comes at a way f'd up time, but i've tried to tell you for awhile, but I really like you. And i think thats why things have been weird between me and "insert GFs name here""

So I'm shocked and try and handle things best I can. Please help me. I don't like him that way. He's only a friend, and I don't want his GF to hate me, or for it to be weird between us. Just help me. Any advice will do.

I have no interest in doing anything but friendship with him. I have a guy I like.

I just don't want to ruin his realationship, or the friendship ya know? I want him to stay with her. And Be a dad. And I'd still like to be a friend.
But god what do i do. Should I stay his friend? Or run. Or I dunno.
Please help. I need mature answers. He's like my brother so this is so weeeird. ug.  

[lady ayami chan]

Well it seems like this could be one of many things.
Here a a couple off the top of my head:
Either he is confused about his feelings for you vs the feelings for his girlfriend or life without the pregnant girlfriend seems to him to be more appealing.

I think that you might be in a very unique situation to help his relationship, you may just be that voice of reason that he needs. I think that he is in no place to make a decision that he might like you more than his girlfriend considering things with his girlfriend just changed dramatically (being parents). Change can be something that is hard to like let alone accept, perhaps he is rejecting the change that is occurring in his life. You on the other hand have not changed to him, you are a constant and a stability in his life. So I think that may be his real attraction to you the fact that you are a familiar and understood thing to him. Maybe you could find a time to talk with him about the change that is occurring in his life and ask him to wait until his current situation has found stability for him to make such a claim as liking you.

This is what I came up with after thinking about you situation for only a few minutes so I hope it can be helpful.
Good luck and I think you have the right idea to just be a good friend.
^_~  

[Eienchi]

lady ayami chan, I think you are most likely right. I'm Not pregnant, I'm The easy way out, I'm uncomplicated. I think hes like "omg I'm a dad I don't know what to do" And maybe he wants to run, or maybe he likes the fact I'm there.
I did tell him "I don't feel romantically attracted to you" But this was via text because he confessed to me while with his gf (which i found that out later. Stupid boy) I know it made him sad for me to say that. But i didnt want him to think I'd want him or something. He's a dad and has new things to worry about.
I really should sit down with him. Its been hard to get that arranged. He's busy, and a bit hurt. And his GF is worried. I just never want him to leave her because he thinks there might be something between us. Ug. I don't feel that way. I will never feel that way. And I love His GF and I never want her to have her heart broken because of me.
I wonder if I should try and talk with him soon, or give him some time to heal...and be alone with the GF. Maybe give him some time to realize there is love with the GF and just friendship with me.
He's like my brother, and I wish my dumb brother wouldn't have told me this  

[ThisEmptySoul]

hmm... not much advice to actually give here. I think what Ayami-chan said is probably true, though.

One thing I would strongly suggest, if you sit and have a talk with him, do -not-, under any circumstance, use the "you're like a brother to me" line. Men -hate- that line. If he presses you for an answer as to why you don't like him in a romantic sense, mention that you like someone else. Sometimes just thinking about that line makes me angry stare  

[Eienchi]

ThisEmptySoul

hmm... not much advice to actually give here. I think what Ayami-chan said is probably true, though.

One thing I would strongly suggest, if you sit and have a talk with him, do -not-, under any circumstance, use the "you're like a brother to me" line. Men -hate- that line. If he presses you for an answer as to why you don't like him in a romantic sense, mention that you like someone else. Sometimes just thinking about that line makes me angry stare

I think women use that line because its so strong. Sometimes "lets just be friends" doesnt work. So we have to go to the horrible "brother" line. Its harsh but it works. Its like saying there is no chance ever of us getting together without saying "theres no chance". Also "you aren't my type" seems to upset them.
I do like someone else sorta. I just have a feeling he'll go "oh? who?" and I really dont want him to know. My private stuff.  

[Veddhartha]

Good point on that "lets just be friends" liner. Staying at friends level leaves the tension, real or imagined, that other might still try to change the situation and it grows uncomfortable.

It might be at times better make someone angry at you than keep person as a friend from who you aren't sure will he still carry romantic hopes. "I have feelings for someone else" though is better line than comparing him to a brother. xp  

[ThisEmptySoul]

If you're insistent on using the brother line, you're less likely to keep him as a friend, just so you know. I can't speak for this guy, but I personally would have preferred if a girl told me "there's no chance in us getting together" instead of saying "you're like a brother to me"... because that turns every fantasy ever had about that person into incest. Sure it still hurts and can cause anger, but at least it doesn't make me feel like I've been fantasizing about doing my sister.

You can't undo his previous feelings by calling him "brother", but you can cause anger and disgust with it.  

[Patron with a Mission]

Pregnancy does change things for a couple, and it's likely your friend does not want to have this change in his life, and as others have said, you are likely an easy way out, or someone who is likely to empathize more with him.

My advice pretty much reflects what everyone on here has said thus far. Support him, but point out that it is more important to be the father than a boy running away from responsibility. Tell him that you are not going to be a way out for him; you will support him, obviously, but you won't be anything more than a advice giver, because you don't feel for him, especially now that he has a girlfriend and a child to care for.

Good luck; this sounds like a horribly awkward situation.  

[~sky king Ikki~]

This is one of those awkward times at which what seems like the worst path may be the best solution. Get angry. Show him how upset you are at him for having these feelings while in his situation. Ask him how he ever thought you could like him like that if he's willing to ditch on his responsibilities to chase down someone else. Even though us men don't like hearing advice when we don't ask for it, put your two cents in.

However, you do have to be careful in this endeavor. Pushing it too far will cause you to loose a friend who is just a little confused right now. You have to carefully balance being angry and pushing that guilt button with support and friendship. Let him know you are there if he needs advice, but you will only be disgusted with him if he tries to bail. But you gotta start off with the anger, because we understand that emotion better than any of the others.  

[The Last Chase]

Just back away slowly. It's not your place to get involved in that, whether you like him or not. He is in a very serious situation right now and he might even just be panicing because of how deep he is in. The best thing you can do right now is to just take a step back. You can be his friend, but you need to just tell him that it isn't what you want and that you need to keep your distance for now.
I know how that is. One of my good friends lives with his highschool sweetheart and he just so happens to be my photographer for SG... which makes things a little akward. But we're on good terms now. All I can say is that if you don't want the GF to hate you, I would suggest to get closer to her, rather than him. It tends to help a lot, and it deffiently will keep him away from getting to close to you. Honestly though, I think he's just freaking out because he's gonna be a daddy