Economic Troubles

[elusivebreath]

I'm sure this story won't be new in these times, but I was recently laid off from my job and so the family has been struggling financially for the last month. My partner is disabled, so I am the only working adult in the home, and while I have been actively looking for work, it's scarce. In the meantime, we bring in just enough money to squeak by - until now. My ex informed me last week that since he too has been laid off, he can no longer afford to pay child support. Now, this completely screws me, because without that money after I pay rent, I have $50 left to pay electricity, garbage, water, gas, etc. Not possible. So I proposed the option to my partner that we move out, live with friends for about 3 months, then get into a smaller (and cheaper) house.

My partner is not happy about this idea, because there really isn't anywhere that all 5 of us can go, so we are looking at me and my 2 kids staying at my best friend's house, and then her and her daughter staying with my dad. I am just wondering what other people think about this idea? Am I being too drastic by proposing it? I am just worried that the alternative is being evicted and ending up in the same position, only then it would be even harder to get a new place.  

[Nei1]

We are in a time of turmoil. I don't think you are being too drastic, you must do what you can to survive until the economy picks back up. The job market is terrible and no one is really hiring, but we shall get though it.  

[Patron with a Mission]

I believe that you need to do what is best for the kids and your partner now, because in the future, there might not be a house to stay in.

It is sad when you can't afford to keep the family together but if it is needed, it is needed. Better to have a separate family for now and together in the future, than together and possibly in a worse situation.  

[Shinigami Unity]

You gotta do what you gotta do. Your combined children will miss being in the stable household you and your partner provide - but in time, they'll understand that you're in it for their well being.

I got laid off from my job in January and then my boyfriend booted me out so he could live with his mom. I was able to secure a part time job - which is enough to pay only my rent and my child support obligation. However, I may only be able to find another par time job - during the times when I would typically have visitation with my kids.

Do I like this option? Hell no. Am I going to do it? Most definately. Times are very tough and we need to do what we can to survive.

Just don't forget that in this sort of situation - keeping up relationships is most important.

And good luck!  

[Refoya]

My husband was disabled out of the Army 21 years ago. Although he could work, he could only take desk jobs and NOBODY wanted to give him insurance of any kind. There have also been long stretches where he was unemployed. I've worked McDonald's, Walmart, thrift shops, etc. to keep things going while he was out of work.

We often talked about how much help from the state I could have gotten had we "split up" and I took the kids elsewhere. However, we really didn't want to split up the family, so we managed.

I think it's very important to keep the family together if possible. If you're making $50 over his disability pay, try to find SOMETHING in some crap job to pay utilities and groceries. (You also might want to ask your landlord to give you a break of $50 to $100 a month. They know how tough things are right now and might say yes, if it's temporary while you look for a decent job. Then again, he might say NO, but you'll never know if you don't ask.) Discount retail, thrift shops and McDonald's are always hiring (and they are doing real well even in this crappy economy.)

Try not to split up the family. My husband and I are both from divorced families, so we thought it was important for the kids to stay together. I know you're not talking divorce, but giving your kids the idea that family can be sorta temporary and only together for the good times, isn't going to create family loyalty, or give them any tolerance or preparation for hard times, and could do alot of damage to those children who have been seperated from their parent.

Just my 2 cents!  

[Sweet_lil_tomboy]

I agree. Times are tough all over at the moment and in these times coming home to a loving and supportive family is the best reward of all. A few other suggestions for you, if your landlord won't deduct $50 off the rent to help you get by; maybe he'd be willing to trade. Ask if there are things around the place that you do to help pay off some of your rent. Mowing the lawn, washing the windows, painting, weeding the garden, things like that.
Also talk to your utilities company, they would be more than willing to make payment arrangements with you. They'd rather see a little at a time rather than see you go without.
Don't forget to clip coupons, watch for the ads and buy in bulk. My husband & I in a similar situation. We watch for sales on meats and then buy say 50lbs at a time. We package and freeze it according to our needs. If all you have for laundry are a few light items, hand wash them in the sink and hang them on the line. They'll smell wonderful.
Keep your chin up and remember that our Grandparents and Parents made it through the "Great Depression" I think we can handle this with the same amount of grace and gumption that they had.
Good Luck heart  

[elusivebreath]

Thanks everyone! We aren't out of the woods yet, but we do have some hope. Our house has an extra bedroom, so a friend of my partner's might come stay with us for awhile and he would pay some rent for that room, so that would be a huge help! Also, I got into a training program where they train you on computers and other office related things and then also help you find a job when the training is complete. The first three months are unpaid, and then the next four months they pay you to work for them while you look for a job. So we just have to get through the next 3 months and then we'll have some money coming in.

Thanks for all the good advice, everyone, and feel free to keep it coming if you guys think of some more stuff mrgreen  

[Countess Serene Bathory]

Good Luck with your economic turmoil.

I'm not sure what state you are in, but most state and city governments are offering economic help thru programs like food stamps and economic and health coverage for six months or more while you are getting back on your feet. Especially if kids are involved. Some of the programs help to get you jobs and additional training. And I was wondering if your significant other is on disability for the disability. Cause if not that could also help with your economic troubles.

I agree about trying not to split up your family, and it is great when friends can help friends in the way that you are having. I just hope it works out for you. Good Luck again