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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:28 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:28 pm
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RULES You know, folks, there are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today, what with all the terrorist attacks, school shootings, amber alerts, boat hijackings, overdoses, oppression of our civil liberties, and what not. Indeed, life sometimes seems like it's spinning out of control.
And so, I've decided to apply some rules to my threads, because I know that MY FRIENDS WOULD NEVER DO ANY OF THAT s**t.
Here's how it works: you participate in the contest, and you promise that you won't do any of the stuff in the list below. And, if we get enough members, like 6 billion, then there won't be any more problems in the world. Sounds like a good plan, huh?
So, please do me a favor and don't do any of this stuff: Killing people Killing yourself Raping anyone Wounding anyone with a nailgun Beating your wife Cutting off your husband's p***s Being a bully Shooting your classmates Driving too slow in the left lane Having sex with one of your teachers Having sex with one of your students Having sex with five of your students Stealing Not paying your taxes Spreading STDs because you're irresponsible Doing drugs Drowning your pregnant wife Lying Hogging the washer/dryers at the laundry Denying funding to NASA's threatening asteroid search Throwing cigarette butts out of your car Smoking period Kidnapping and/or molesting children Cheating on your spouse Punching anyone Leaving your dog in a hot car Coughing near my food at a restaurant Hoarding clothes when there are poor people in the world Pissing on the toilet seat Voting for Republicans Making racial slurs Wasting electricity Keying cars Littering Stalking anyone Operating a fax spam business Fraudulenty underfilling prescriptions Squandering gasoline/oil Talking loud on your cellphone in public Parking crooked Killing a pregnant woman and stealing her baby from the womb Rubbernecking Decapitating someone's pet and giving its head as a Valentine's gift Putting basil on the pizza when I ******** said no basil Installing speed bumps in any parking lot Vandalism Cruel Pranks Farting on the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway Making too much noise on your balcony next door to me Sprinkling parsley on everything Sitting in the back room of the Verizon Wireless store while customers are waiting Adjusting my mirrors and seat even if you're only driving my car for 15 seconds Not going when the light is green Writing a check at the grocery store, ever Dog fighting Being selfish Stabbing people Cutting in line Standing too close to the baggage carousel Robbing places Coveting diamonds Beating someone with a baby Walking when it clearly says DON'T WALK Discriminating against others Setting fires Showing porn to minors Attacking peace officers Carjacking Believing in creationism Complaining about this list Blowing up a train full of innocent people Price gouging Persecuting ethnic groups Ignoring doctors orders Yielding to jaywalkers Oppressing freedoms Abandoning pets Not carrying Hostess Cupcakes in your convenience store Standing in front of me at a concert Refusing to heat the swimming pool year-round Tailgating Telling me about your cat
Now seriously...I don't want any of my fans committing suicide, shooting people, burning down churches, putting an empty bottle under someone's tire, or anything else like that. Let's all just colour, okay?
Thanks for being cool. – ravidizh
P.S. If you're having some problems in your life, and you're considering doing any of the above, please call 1-800-273-8255. Talk with someone, please.
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:35 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:37 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:27 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:23 pm
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:33 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:20 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:54 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:10 pm
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