Dear someone,
i know you probably don't care.
Probably rolling your eyes....
Im pretty sure you're probably busy watching tv or dealing with your own problems,
or maybe you're busy laughing and chasing butterflies.
Or maybe you spend afternoons in the grass, smelling the sun and tasting life.
You don't have time to worry about me.
but i'm going to pretend you care.
I just want someone to hear me, honestly.
I really do
i don't expect you to understand or care or even listen.
i'm just hoping that you will.
Posssibility-zero...
Dear someone,
i guess i should start by telling you that i wish i didn't have to live anymore.
My free time is spent wondering i
f there's any way i could possibly suffocate myself.
I guess i should tell you that i'm sorry about this,
but the problem is i'm not.
there's a constant throbbing behind my eyes.
I dream of cliff jumping (i've heard it feels like flying). i sleep with ice in my nervous heart, and reality slowly fades into nightmares.
I think of life as a waterfall. hope and happiness and love fall into the hands of the people waiting below.
but fear and hate is the only thing that falls into mine.
Dear someone,
i feel alone.
Lost and cold.
Everyone's caught up with someone else, and i'm left standing on the sidelines, wondering what i did wrong.
What I can do to change it.
People tell me to open my eyes, but when i do, everything's empty.
And even now that my eyes are shut-Its still dark.
People tell me to listen and learn, but the only thing i've learned is that denial is prettier than reality.
Closing yourself off is the best way to survive.
Eeryone's beautiful until you look under the mask.
Dear someone,
late at night, I’m always cold. shivering. there’s never enough inside of me to keep me warm,
and it’s always too quiet, too lonely.
there are only tears to hold me, comfort me, love me.
Even then I know its fake.
So sometimes, i'll pretend that strangers like you love me.
Dear someone,
i paint shadows on my heart just to fill the empty spaces.
The sad thing is, i'm still left hollow inside.
and i've decided that everyone has it Bad.
You see they go around pretending things will get better and they'll make it through this and everything will befine.
But It wont.
Because they dont know life is not a nightmare.
the nightmare is life.
Dear someone,
i just want someone to love me.
why won't anyone love me?
Dear someone,
i bleed words they're the only things i feel these days.
life is a chess game, but i've lost my queen.
Life is an ocean, but ive forgotten how to swim.
Life is a battle, but there are to many eneimes.
There isn't anything worth fighting for, anyway.
Dear someone,
your silence is beautiful.
I bet you're the kind of person that knows what to say when someone's crying.
I bet you draw rainbows on the hands of people just to make them smile.
I bet you're the kind of person who could shatter time and make the stars crash anddestroythings.
But really I know you cant.
I bet you would hug me and carry me along and listen.
I wonder if you'd love me.
Dear someone,
sometimes, we'll watch movies as a family.
Sometimes, i'll close my eyes and watch with only my ears and somehow, it's more beautiful then.
I feel protected.
Warm. there are no demons lurking in my mind;
there's no fear to give into.
And sometimes, i'll fall asleep on his arm.
Sometimes, i feel like i actually belong to something.
But when I open my eyes.
I realise its fake.
Dear someone,
dragonflies kiss my eyelids like flowers.
the sun is shining, finally,
and i feel like if i went to sleep now, there wouldn't be a nightmare waiting; only a pleasant dream of secrets and held hands and understanding.
except there's another headache coming, and in another hour i'll feel alone and i'll be crying again.
the walls will have to keep me company.
after all, they love me more than any person ever will.
Dear someone,
the world is hammering nails into my heart.
and sometimes,
the world gives me the hammer and says,here, help yourself.
It's such fun.
i'm ashamed that i never turn away.
Dear someone,
my body is shaking and my heart is curled up into a ball in my chest, sleeping.
I cover my ears and try to shut everything out,
but the muffled sounds still sink in, still terrify me.
Dear someone,
darkness is calling. i won't bother you anymore.
goodbye.
love always,
no one.
i know you probably don't care.
Probably rolling your eyes....
Im pretty sure you're probably busy watching tv or dealing with your own problems,
or maybe you're busy laughing and chasing butterflies.
Or maybe you spend afternoons in the grass, smelling the sun and tasting life.
You don't have time to worry about me.
but i'm going to pretend you care.
I just want someone to hear me, honestly.
I really do
i don't expect you to understand or care or even listen.
i'm just hoping that you will.
Posssibility-zero...
Dear someone,
i guess i should start by telling you that i wish i didn't have to live anymore.
My free time is spent wondering i
f there's any way i could possibly suffocate myself.
I guess i should tell you that i'm sorry about this,
but the problem is i'm not.
there's a constant throbbing behind my eyes.
I dream of cliff jumping (i've heard it feels like flying). i sleep with ice in my nervous heart, and reality slowly fades into nightmares.
I think of life as a waterfall. hope and happiness and love fall into the hands of the people waiting below.
but fear and hate is the only thing that falls into mine.
Dear someone,
i feel alone.
Lost and cold.
Everyone's caught up with someone else, and i'm left standing on the sidelines, wondering what i did wrong.
What I can do to change it.
People tell me to open my eyes, but when i do, everything's empty.
And even now that my eyes are shut-Its still dark.
People tell me to listen and learn, but the only thing i've learned is that denial is prettier than reality.
Closing yourself off is the best way to survive.
Eeryone's beautiful until you look under the mask.
Dear someone,
late at night, I’m always cold. shivering. there’s never enough inside of me to keep me warm,
and it’s always too quiet, too lonely.
there are only tears to hold me, comfort me, love me.
Even then I know its fake.
So sometimes, i'll pretend that strangers like you love me.
Dear someone,
i paint shadows on my heart just to fill the empty spaces.
The sad thing is, i'm still left hollow inside.
and i've decided that everyone has it Bad.
You see they go around pretending things will get better and they'll make it through this and everything will befine.
But It wont.
Because they dont know life is not a nightmare.
the nightmare is life.
Dear someone,
i just want someone to love me.
why won't anyone love me?
Dear someone,
i bleed words they're the only things i feel these days.
life is a chess game, but i've lost my queen.
Life is an ocean, but ive forgotten how to swim.
Life is a battle, but there are to many eneimes.
There isn't anything worth fighting for, anyway.
Dear someone,
your silence is beautiful.
I bet you're the kind of person that knows what to say when someone's crying.
I bet you draw rainbows on the hands of people just to make them smile.
I bet you're the kind of person who could shatter time and make the stars crash anddestroythings.
But really I know you cant.
I bet you would hug me and carry me along and listen.
I wonder if you'd love me.
Dear someone,
sometimes, we'll watch movies as a family.
Sometimes, i'll close my eyes and watch with only my ears and somehow, it's more beautiful then.
I feel protected.
Warm. there are no demons lurking in my mind;
there's no fear to give into.
And sometimes, i'll fall asleep on his arm.
Sometimes, i feel like i actually belong to something.
But when I open my eyes.
I realise its fake.
Dear someone,
dragonflies kiss my eyelids like flowers.
the sun is shining, finally,
and i feel like if i went to sleep now, there wouldn't be a nightmare waiting; only a pleasant dream of secrets and held hands and understanding.
except there's another headache coming, and in another hour i'll feel alone and i'll be crying again.
the walls will have to keep me company.
after all, they love me more than any person ever will.
Dear someone,
the world is hammering nails into my heart.
and sometimes,
the world gives me the hammer and says,here, help yourself.
It's such fun.
i'm ashamed that i never turn away.
Dear someone,
my body is shaking and my heart is curled up into a ball in my chest, sleeping.
I cover my ears and try to shut everything out,
but the muffled sounds still sink in, still terrify me.
Dear someone,
darkness is calling. i won't bother you anymore.
goodbye.
love always,
no one.
xxx
Yes It kinof resembled a diary entry.I needed this to make my concious better-Amanda Ill miss you and Im sorry ive never noticed.
