Why do I feel like this?

[Kamui_kusinagi]

Ok, I don't really know how to start this and asking for advice isn't a strong suit of mine as normally I'm very self-reliant but here goes. For the past day I've been experiancing this huge feeling of emptiness and have basically spent a good portion of my day meditating on it, only to come up blank. I just graduated with my AS in biotechnology yesterday. I am proud of myself and I thought I was very happy of my accomplishment. I am the first of both sides of my family in probably many generations, from what I understand to graduate from college which seemed like an added bonus.
Alas however, once my family left yesterday after our very modest party, I noticed, as I mentioned, I have felt like nothing more than a hollow shell. I've tryed to pinpoint the source of this problem and went every which route, starting from the divorce of my parents at a very young age to the fact I'm so intuned with death, Raven has chosen me as it's pupil...but no answer has made itself apparent what so ever. My girlfirend dosn't even really know what to make of it.
So please, If anyone has any possible theory or advice, I'd be most grateful.  

[Ruby2zday]

First off --- CONGRATS!!! Happy Graduation!!!

If I may offer an opinion? Basing what you're saying on my own personal experience, it sounds 'normal' to me, as I too felt rather
empty for a while after I graduated (I have an AA in general ed that took me 7 years to get as I was a divorced mother raising a child & trying to work & go to school too).

I don't know how long this took you to accomplish, but it sounds to me like you're experiencing a normal 'come down' after all you've been doing to get to the finish line, so to speak. You've graduated so now you don't have X number of classes that will be taking up X amounts of days & X amounts of your time. Your brain needs a little time to adjust to how you are now going to fill the time that used to be taken up with school & school work. Even time w/your GF & family & friends is going to be different.

Give it more than just a day or two for your brain to really absorb that you are 'done now' (at least for a while, as you may decide to continue for a higher degree), & see how you feel. It took me several weeks to really wrap my head around being finally done & start feeling 'normal' again. If you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks (OR things worsen), then you should re-examine everything & maybe consider speaking to a professional about it. Good luck & again, congratulations!

 

[Shinigami Unity]

I feel that way all the time.

Minded, in the past years I have left an abusive marriage, lost both my children (custody not dead) and been thrown out by the only man I ever believed really loved me.

SO. *laughs*

In my case, I believe I feel this way because I spent so much time just going through the motions of my life. I am a very passionate, spiritual person - but for many many years I ignored this because it was an inconvenience to normal life.

Learning how to really live my life has been challenging.

What in your life gives you satisfaction? Maybe you should start by looking for the little things - the color of the leaves, the smell of rain, etc. Try to feel with all your senses.

I won't go on a big rant unless you feel this is at all relevant to your current situation.  

[Kamui_kusinagi]

@Ruby Thanks, I think part of the problem could be as you mentioned. It makes alot of sense that the mind would have to re-adjust,not really knowing now what to do with myself. Also, thanks for the congrats ^.^.

@Shinigami Thanks and sorry about all you been through. The other part of my situation could be because my past. Like I said I am very intimate with death. I've seen more death than most people (Except for of course, the soldiers out on the battle field). Your post made me wonder if the other part of my problem could possibly be the fact that the ones I wanted to see me succeed the most are no longer here. As Ruby said, I might not have given myself enough time to think it through. As for what gives me satisfaction...seeking knowledge and trying to figure out the mystery of exsistance.

Thank you both for your responses, the feeling is still there but I've decided to increase a few activities to atleast keep it in the back of my mind for now.  

[Shinigami Unity]

You seem sort of similar to myself in some respects.

Good luck. Hope you feel better soon. smile  

[Venuslady]

As Ruby said, good job on the graduation! I've often found that a hot cup of Chamomille tea helps me when I feel down. Have a pet? Maybe having a furbaby to take care of would help and it has been shown that people who have pets are happier. Tip: do something fun and try NOT to dwell on the feeling.

Good luck and I hope happiness shines on you! biggrin  

[Kamui_kusinagi]

Thanks ^.^. Well, It's been getting a bit better. I don't have a pet per say but I do have a stray cat which seems to love to hang around. Thanks for the advice ^.^  

[freaxy]

may be a transitioning feeling...you've finished something, and you're thinking to yourself, "now what?"
though, I could be wrong. I know that's how I felt after high school, and that's how I always feel after finishing anything that takes more than a couple hours.
everyone's different, however  

[Dubird]

Congrats on the graduation! ^_^

As for the feeling, it could also be the sober realization that "oh my gawd, i'm joining the real world, now what?" It hit me too, mostly because I didn't have a job lined up to go into right after college. I went through periods of relief that I didn't have to take tests anymore to periods of feeling lost because I didn't know what to do next. Truth be told, I still don't know what to do next, even though I've been graduated for about 5 years and have no plans on getting a job that I spent the 6 years getting a degree for because I stumbled onto something I enjoy more. *headdesk*

My advice is to take a few weeks and relax, let your mind and body adjust to not having classes now, and start lining up ideas for the next stage in your life. ^_^  

[I-onishi]

Congarts. My first peace of addvice is to simply not let it get to you. You did get a degree in a scientific feild but maybey , like me you got schooling to fulfill the need to get school. I felt like that after i graduated. And it took me a while to realise that I only did it , for like you I am the forst on both side for a while to go to school and graduate before the age of 35 for a while. Once i graduated and strted looking at jobsI realised dont really want to d this for the rest of my life , or for very long at all. Evaluate carfully where you truly want to be in say 12 years . Hope this help and good luck. I no long feel that now that i know where i really want to go , only the rush stress and excitment of trying to get there.  

[Happy Hentai Beastie]

I too struggle with that emptiness, having been close to death my whole life. Even died once myself, before CPR brought me back.

I find the best way to bring myself out of that void is to celebrate life. Go to festivals, go bowling, get into weekly events, do something batty... learn to cherish things more and it may help. It helped me.  

[bellaxxmuerte]

congrats on your degree 4laugh why don't you try some volunteer work in your community. it might make you feel good helping others in need razz