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Arts of the Midnight

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Tags: arts, painting, music, movies, randomness 

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Zira361

PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:00 pm
Okay, I have several poems, and I want you to tell me what you think and which one is your favorite. Also, tell me my strong and weak points so I could get better. =)

Distress
Pacing up and down the stairs
I passed by those evil glares

Demons eating the souls of friends
Hell is where each day they'll spend

But if I don't tell them, then they won't know
About what the greatest evil might bestow

Black Rose
The beauty you are
My wonderful goddess
But you have that discriminating scar
Isn't that the oddest?

They think you're bad because you have thorns
They think you're evil by your darkness
But can't they see you're short of the devil's horns
They're probably just jealous of your beauty my goddess

But your darkness makes me feel aloft
With your smell under my nose
Your petals oh so soft
My beautiful black rose

Nuclear Wasteland
Black and grey all around
There isn’t a single color to be found
The radiation took its affect
Because of all the errors we couldn’t correct

The dissident things we have done
Has angered the sacred one
The man above us all
Wasn’t pleased so he let the bombs fall

A nuclear wasteland this place has become
All because from angering that one
He wouldn’t help us after all evil things we’ve done
And from all this no one has learned that nobody won

Barren Landscape
No colors or souls
On this barren land of evil
You can tell as you step on to the gray, burnt coals
Of the world’s yearn to kill

No winners or losers
This desolate landscape can reveal
Other than the uncalled-for slurs
The quiet and loneliness can be quite unreal

Those of the soulless
Are all that remain
And if you can’t see this
You can do anything but gain

As the Devil steals your soul
There’s nothing you can say
In your immoral hole
Hell is where you’ll stay

Child Abuse
They say they won’t
They say it’s okay
Their words are just cheap lies
They just want me to stay

They torture and antagonize
They want to put me in permanent sleep
I guess their conscience isn’t working
When they’re done they’ll just have the secrets that they keep

The lies they say
And the crime they do
Child abuse is no laughing matter
Now run before it happens to you too

My Dark Little Corner
Crying, weeping
Shedding my tears
Hidden in the darkness
Where no one hears

I don’t want help
I don’t need it
Neither you nor anyone will ever understand
You don’t take away the misery, you only feed it

Left in the darkness
I’m here to stay
Till my sanity has recovered
Till my misery and hate go away
 
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:17 am
I think they're all pretty good. Some of them are pretty dark though. But I did find one problem with the very first one it sounds unfinished. But I like them.  

Shadows Orchid Child


Zira361

PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 2:57 pm
Shadows Orchid Child
I think they're all pretty good. Some of them are pretty dark though. But I did find one problem with the very first one it sounds unfinished. But I like them.

Thank you. ^^ The very first poem is the absolute first poem I've ever written. I know some sound dark. It's mainly just my veiws on the world. Black Rose and My Dark Little corner are both refering to my past. Black Rose refers to when I was in kindergarden and these kids were picking on someone, calling her ugly, stupid, ect., and I told her that she wasn't ugly or stupid because she really wasn't. My Dark Little Corner was refering to when I was in 4th grade, when my life sucked the most, and the only year I thought of suicide. I never wanted to tell anyone about my problems because they would've just made it worse, so I sat under my house and cried for a few hours. =  
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Mixed Arts [Architecture, Gastronomy, Bodypainting, Textiles, etc...]

 
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