But to cater to those who post once I am gone, which will be directly after this post, I have created an ingenious and intuitive system.
Roll 1 D20
Scroll down to your number and click and drag your mouse from your number to the next! Magical lettering will appear and tell you what I think of you.
Roll 1 D20
Scroll down to your number and click and drag your mouse from your number to the next! Magical lettering will appear and tell you what I think of you.
1 - I THINK YOU'RE LAME. YOU ROLLED SHITTY NUMBER. YOU DROP YOUR SWORD AND IT GOES THROUGH YOUR BARBARIAN'S FOOT, WHO IS ALREADY RAGING AND HE CUTS OF YOUR ARM AS A RESULT.
2 - WTF? A 2? ARE YOU SERIOUS? THIS IS BARELY BETTER THAN A 1. IN FACT ******** OFF. READ 1 FOR YOUR RESULT.
3 - YOU AREN'T CUTE. NO ONE THINKS YOUR ATTITUDE IS ******** CUTE EITHER. IF I HAD A DIME FOR EVERY TIME I WANTED TO SMASH YOUR HEAD IN A DOOR JAMB LIKE THE BRIDE DID TO BUCK IN KILL BILL, I'D BE A ******** MILLIONAIRE.
4 - YOU REMIND ME OF A FURBY. MY FRIEND HAD A FURBY IN HIGH SCHOOL AND SHE SAID THE THING WOULD TURN ON THE THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND MAKE THOSE OBNOXIOUS NOISES AND EVENTUALLY SHE TOOK THE BATTERIES OUT OF IT. I WISH I COULD TAKE OUT YOUR BATTERIES. :C
5 - EVERY TIME YOU POST, MY FACE GOES LIKE THIS. >:[ WHY DO YOU DO THAT? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING TOO, AND YOU THINK IT'S CUTE BUT IT'S NOT IT'S JUST NOT
6 - I THINK YOUR ARMPITS SMELL LIKE ONIONS. ******** BATHE MORE AND THEN WE'LL TALK.
7 - I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU THE OTHER DAY. THEN I SUDDENLY HAD DIARRHEA. IT WAS BAD. I NEVER WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT AGAIN.
8 - REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU ASKED ME TO SHOVE GRAPES UP YOUR a** SO YOU COULD SEE IF YOU COULD POOP THEM OUT WITHOUT BURSTING THEM? YEAH. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. I'M JUST NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SEXUALITY AND FRUIT ABUSES.
9 - ONCE WHEN I WAS SICK, I BLEW MY NOSE SO HARD FOR SO LONG THAT A CHUNK OF SOFT TISSUE CAME OUT. I WAS TERRIFIED AT FIRST, BUT THEN I GOT BETTER QUICKLY. YOU'RE LIKE THAT HUNK OF TISSUE. I NEVER KNEW YOU EXISTED UNTIL I BLEW YOU OUT OF MY NOSE IN A BLOODY WAD OF SNOT AND PUSS, BUT I REALIZED LATER THAT YOU WEREN'T ALL THAT IMPORTANT AND I HEALED A LOT FASTER WITHOUT YOU IN MY SINUSES.
10 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU WERE DROWNING, I'D PROBABLY SAVE YOU, BUT I MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT FIRST.
11 - I HAVE A SERIOUS SUSPICION THAT YOU OFTEN SMELL THE TOILET PAPER AFTER YOU WIPE YOUR BUTT. YEAH. DIDN'T THINK I KNEW ABOUT THAT, DID YA?
12 - 12 IS A GOOD NUMBER. YOU'RE AWESOME I SUPPOSE, EXCEPT FOR THAT HABIT YOU HAVE OF BLOWING YOUR NOSE IN THE SHOWER WITH YOUR BARE HANDS AND THEN LETTING THE WATER RINSE IT OFF DOWN THE DRAIN. I KNOW I KNOW YOU'RE SHOWERING ANYWAY AND THERE'S SOAP RIGHT THERE, BUT STILL. REALLY THAT'S THE ONLY COMPLAINT I HAVE ABOUT YOU.
13 - I GOT MY FIRST PERIOD AT 13, SO I GUESS I WILL GO EASY ON YOU. YOUR EYES SPARKLE LIKE THE STARS IN THE SKY. YOUR SKIN IS SUNKISSED AND RADIANT, AND MY GOD I HOPE YOU'RE A WOMAN BECAUSE THOSE ARE SOME BANGIN' a** TITS YOU GOT THERE. ;D
14 - I THINK ABOUT YOU SOMETIMES WHEN I MASTURBATE, BUT IT'S USUALLY ONE OF THOSE FLEETING THINGS WHERE I AM NOT CONCENTRATING ON WHAT'S HAPPENING AND YOU POP INTO MY MIND AND I THINK ABOUT HOW YOU'RE DOING AND THEN I REMEMBER WHOOPS I AM KINDA SUPPOSED TO BE ENJOYING MYSELF HERE AND THEN THE MOOD IS SPOILED BECAUSE I GET THAT CREEPY FEELING LIKE YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU WHILE I WAS DOING THAT LIEK YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF PSYCHIC XIPORAH-THINKS-ABOUT-ME-WHILE-SHE-RUBS-HER-JOY-BUTTON SIXTH SENSE
15 - I THINK YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR GENITALS MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK. I CAN SMELL YOUR SMEGMA.
16 - I THINK HAVING AN ENEMA WOULD BE A LOT LIKE SPENDING THE DAY WITH YOU. END RESULT - SHITTY.
17 - LOOK, WE ALL PEE IN THE SHOWER. EVERYONE'S TRIED IT AT LEAST ONCE. I TEND TO DO IT A LOT IN THE MORNING TO SAVE TIME, BECAUSE I SPRAY DOWN MY TUB WITH BLEACH CLEANER WHEN I AM DONE ANYWAY, BUT MOST PEOPLE DO IT WHILE THE SHOWER IS RUNNING. THIS WHOLE PEEING IN THE TUB WHENEVER IT STRIKES YOUR FANCY BUSINESS HAS GOT TO GO.
18 - I LIKE YOU, BUT NOT IN THAT WAY, BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, SIGNALS GOT MIXED AND NOW WE'RE AT THAT AWKWARD STAGE WHERE YOU THINK THERE'S A CHANCE AND I REALLY ENJOY HANGING OUT WITH YOU AND CRY NOW BECAUSE I HAVE TO AVOID HANGING OUT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU THINK I LIKE YOU IN A WAY THAT I DON'T AND I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I DON'T AND LOSE THE FRIENDSHIP BUT I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU EITHER TO TRY AND SAVE IT BECAUSE I KNOW IT WILL END BADLY AND RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP. WHY THE ******** COULDN'T YOU JUST STAY MY FRIEND?
19 - 19 IS A GOOD NUMBER. I STARTED DATING BRANDON WHEN HE WAS 19. I STARTED DRINKING WHEN I WAS 19 TOO. I WAS 19 IN 1999. IT STILL FEELS LIEK IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO, AND CERTAINLY NOT 10 YEARS. IT WAS THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE. AS A RESULT, I LIKE YOU.
20 - HOLY ********. POSSIBLE CRIT! REROLL DAT s**t TO CONFIRM. ANOTHER 20? HOLY ******** MAN! YOU EXECUTE A COMPLICATED BACK FLIP AND IN DOING SO YOUR SWORD HITS A 1 IN A MILLION ODD AND SLIDES UNDER THE DRAGON SCALE AND SLICES HIS NECK OPEN RIGHT ABOVE THE JUGULAR. THERE'S BLOOD SPRAYING EVERYWHERE AND IT'S SCREAMING AND STAMPING IT'S FEET AND YOUR PARTY IS REJOICING AND COLLECTING THE BLOOD IN THEIR WATER SKINS TO SELL AS SPELL COMPONENTS LATER. ******** YEAH YOU DEFEATED THE DRAGON. YOU ARE AWESOME AND I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME BY DEFAULT
