Neighbor troubles

[Psyzapp]

Last school year, when my neighbor found a full-time job his oldest son called me in tears frightened because his dad wasn't home yet and he didn't know what to do. I told this kid to come over. He was 5 what else was I suppose to do. That's when the trouble started. Dad was habitually late and I ended up taking care of this kid after school more often than I cared to. I even went so far and to tell Dad that they needed a permanent solution to their problem and that I wasn't a day care. I gave them a name and phone number of a lady in the neighborhood that runs a day care.

Now our new school year just started and we're on day 3 and who do you think showed up at my door after school because Dad wasn't home? You guessed it! I can't be this families permanent daycare solution. I have 3 kids of my own and work to do. What can I tell these people that will sink in? I don't want to turn a 6 year old out on the street for Gods sake.

Please help.  

[Shinigami Unity]

At this point, I'd probably get a little firm. Maybe it's because I was the kid whose parents were never home and I know what that's like.

Like it or not, they should know that you have every right and responsibility to report them to social services. As far as I know (at least in ND) a child cannot be left unattended for more than a few minutes until they are 9 years old. If you were to keep a record, it's a possibility the child would be at least temporarily removed from the household.

I know that's not what you want - but these parents need to realize that what they're doing is wrong and illegal. At least maybe let them know the risk they're running.

What else can you do? You're not daycare - you even were nice enough to tell them the contact info for a daycare. They're lucky you're not crazy and enjoy hurting little kids!!!  

[Lil Brat]

Shinigami Unity

At this point, I'd probably get a little firm. Maybe it's because I was the kid whose parents were never home and I know what that's like.

Like it or not, they should know that you have every right and responsibility to report them to social services. As far as I know (at least in ND) a child cannot be left unattended for more than a few minutes until they are 9 years old. If you were to keep a record, it's a possibility the child would be at least temporarily removed from the household.

I know that's not what you want - but these parents need to realize that what they're doing is wrong and illegal. At least maybe let them know the risk they're running.

What else can you do? You're not daycare - you even were nice enough to tell them the contact info for a daycare. They're lucky you're not crazy and enjoy hurting little kids!!!

Child Protective Services ~ it's called neglect. What would happen if you had an emergency and weren't home. Obviously, no one in this child's home cares enough to be concerned with that possibility. What would they have done if you hadn't let him in that day?  

[Koichi Wing]

hmm. You could contact the school/school's counselor yeah it's an unusual method, but a school would be able to possibly find a service to put the kid in or arrange something for where the kid can go until he can be picked up. or maybe it's a school official who tells them that they need to find a daycare and etc. Then it's not you the neighbor that is pissy and etc. and ends the b.s. they started. biggrin  

[Tigerlily Danderfluff]

This is a really tricky situation and one that I hope you've resolved by now. Just remember that this type of neglectful parent is precisely the kind that will sue you until you bleed if his child were to come home injured in any way. You need to protect yourself! Having been a Girl Scout leader for waaaay too many years to count, your personal liability and protection is key. What if that child claimed any type of molestation? You are the only adult alone with him, you have no back up and no way to support your own argument.

I had a neighbor who did precisely that for a while, just send his kids (3!) over and take off for a while. I would have to hang out and wait for him to return until I could get back to my own life. I finally had to reject the kids at the door. They went home to an empty house. I felt horrible but it never happened again.

Tell the parent that you will not accept his child into your home again without him being home at the same time. When the child shows up (cuz he will), explain that his Daddy was supposed to make other arrangements and that he can't come to your house anymore without Daddy being home. Then WALK HIM HOME so you aren't liable for injury, etc. after he leaves your home. Get him in his door (don't go in!) and have him lock up. Be sure he has your phone number if he has any questions or an emergency. Be sure he understands 911. Then, tell Daddy you will report him to Child Protection Services if you discover that child is home alone like this after today. (Leave a note with the child if you need to.) Most importantly, follow up with this threat. You are protecting YOURSELF and the CHILD in this case. Screw the stupid dad. Money and convenience are apparently more of a concern to him.  

[Harbone]

As you've already made your case plain, I suggest child services as well.

I know here in Colorado the policy is to do everything possible not to break up families, so rest assured you'll only focus your neighbor on the problem if you call. It's not a punishment at this stage in most states, but steps need to be taken!

I mean 6 years old?