Chivalry: Dead/Alive/Dying?

[Koichi Wing]

Well I personally partake in chivalry and do hold doors open for a lot of people within reason, I'm not going to wait 10 minutes if whoever is physically fit enough to make good timing to catch a door. biggrin This generation seems to be losing some of its chivalry but it's still out there. I am seeing more of the reversal roles though which is always a nice surprise. i.e. a woman/lady holding a door open for the opposite gender.

what's your take on this?

yes I included a lot of poll options xD did I leave anything out? lol  

[ThisEmptySoul]

yes... you forgot "I like toast" in your options.

I do think chivalry is dieing, and it's not entirely because people just aren't polite anymore. The modern feminist movement can make chivalry a bit difficult at times. For instance, a hardcore feminist might chew you out for getting the door for her because she thinks you are trying to imply that she "needs to be taken care of" and/or is "incapable" of getting the door for herself. Additionally, such feminists who want to be thought of as equal on every aspect of life will even insult and belittle a man who does anything "chivalrous" for her because it's thought of as chauvinistic, even if the man was simply trying to be courteous and polite.

Of course, I don't blame this sort of attitude alone for the decline in chivalry. Younger generations seem to have an all around lack of manners, with little to no concept of common courtesy. I'm not exactly sure where this stems from, but it has been a gradual change throughout the years. I'm sure my parents thought my generation was getting bad, and the generation after me is certainly worse.

I tend to hold a door open if there is someone right behind me and I am in no rush to get somewhere. For the most part the extent of my door holding is just keeping it pushed open until the next person has a chance to catch the door, though... as I see a lot of people still do {especially those my age and older}. If there is a woman with a carriage or a child in tow, someone elderly, or someone disabled... I will stand there with the door open for them and wait for them to pass through.

As for other "chivalrous" acts, I cannot recall anything I do regularly. It's mostly situational... you have to gauge whether or not it is appropriate. I often have to take into consideration how well I and the person know each other, if there are any sort of time constraints {I'm not going to hold the car door open for my spouse when we're already running late... additionally, my spouse is used to opening their own door anyway}, and whether the act would be appreciated or loathed. For example, sometimes a woman will think you're trying to make a pass at them if you get their chair for them.  

[bellaxxmuerte]

i've met several guys who still open doors for ladies, etc. personally, i've got arms so i can open my own door, but if you wanna do it then go for it 4laugh  

[starblazer66]

If I had a son, he'd know somethings about chivalry. I don't but that "independant woman"/ feministic view on many chivalric gestures because many of those same women also complain about how they can't find a good man and many others I just view as rude.

If a guy opens the door for me, I say thank you. I appreciate the gesture.

What I would have appreciated more is if MEN would give up their seats for pregnant women more on the buses. I see women doing this more often and I just shake my head. A pregnant woman should not have to stand for 45 minutes on the train or bus.  

[Koichi Wing]

starblazer66

that "independant woman"/ feministic view on many chivalric gestures because many of those same women also complain about how they can't find a good man and many others I just view as rude.

What I would have appreciated more is if MEN would give up their seats for pregnant women more on the buses. I see women doing this more often and I just shake my head. A pregnant woman should not have to stand for 45 minutes on the train or bus.

Agreed and it's pretty difficult to do anything chivalric these days. I do when I can but it takes 2 to do these and so I could be just the girl wouldn't appreciate it or whatever razz  

[bandaidd]

chivalry is all the aspects of knighthood, not just courtesy
but generosity, bravery and being good at fighting.

courtesy is not just men treating women "like princesses", but courtly behavior or respect and politeness by everyone, men and women alike.

It is thoughtful to allow a pregnant woman to sit. Some are very uncomfortable standing, but on the other hand, some are feeling perfectly fit and comfortable and are embarrassed at special consideration. It seems nice enough to ask if she would like to sit. I have had both kinds of pregnancies, but I would be grateful at the offer, whether or not I accepted it.

There are many opportunities and ways to be generous and brave as well. Good topics for discussion in our time.

Being good at fighting has its benefits, and that would be fun to discuss as well. I am particularly interested because I am a martial arts instructor and female.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

My spouse pointed those things out when I brought up this thread as well. I assumed that the creator of this thread was just referring to the "courtesy" aspect of chivalry, though... as a lot of people seem to do these days.  

[bandaidd]

ThisEmptySoul

My spouse pointed those things out when I brought up this thread as well. I assumed that the creator of this thread was just referring to the "courtesy" aspect of chivalry, though... as a lot of people seem to do these days.

I like your wife! hehe.  

[Koichi Wing]

ThisEmptySoul

My spouse pointed those things out when I brought up this thread as well. I assumed that the creator of this thread was just referring to the "courtesy" aspect of chivalry, though... as a lot of people seem to do these days.

This is true i meant the courtesy of the chivalric ages and so on lol. It still seemed like a good discussion for us who remember those times....the non-medieval ones...and to compare the courtesy of previous days to the present. and of course it was a discussion that was not listed. If there's a need there's always someone to step up and fill that need? biggrin I am enjoying this topic though. biggrin  

[lunaci]

In my opinion, chivalry, much like manners, are slowly dying because a lot of parents have not instructed their children in how to conduct themselves. I can't say it's all parents because I believe it's also about personal choice (plus I've seen teenagers who put older men to shame with chivalry). However, chivalry and manners go hand in hand and are suppose to be taught by parents. So far, the results seem lacking.  

[SinisterNyx]

Chivalry is certainly a dying notion.  

[Khymarea]

lunaci

In my opinion, chivalry, much like manners, are slowly dying because a lot of parents have not instructed their children in how to conduct themselves. I can't say it's all parents because I believe it's also about personal choice (plus I've seen teenagers who put older men to shame with chivalry). However, chivalry and manners go hand in hand and are suppose to be taught by parents. So far, the results seem lacking.

^ This.

My boyfriend can be very courteous when the mood strikes him. And I've met perfect strangers who do the "holding the door for a lady" thing, I run into them all the time. I also hold the door open for people who are carrying a lot of packages or seem to need assistance- It's a matter of how people are raised for the most part, I think.  

[Koichi Wing]

i have to agree that it is how people are raised but it is declining in society. razz ty for the responces biggrin i can't wait for more biggrin  

[Keisaku Hakurei]

Eh, I generally treat people the same regardless of age or gender. I hold the door open for everyone.

Not that I don't withhold inappropriate things from children or look out for older people.