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 Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:24 pm
3 police were chasing 3 girls. one is a blone, ones a brown, and ones a red head. the red head hops into a box of cats and goes "Meow" the police just asume she is a cat. the brown hops into a box of ducks and goes, "quack" the police just asume she is a duck. the blonde hops into a bag of potatos and goes, "Potatos"
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:32 pm
xD Funny
A blonde woman gets out of her car and notices her boyfriend dented in the back driver's side door. She takes it to the mechanic to figure out how to fix it. The mechanic, seeing the woman was blonde, decides to have some fun, and tells her all she has to do to fix the dent is take it home and blow into the tailpipe. So the blonde drives her car home, gets onto the ground, and starts blowing into the tailpipe. She sees it doesn't work, so she tries again, but harder. Again, it doesn't work. Her blonde roommate then comes out of their apartment and asks what she's doing. The first blonde tells her roommate about the dent and the mechanic's advice. The other blonde looks at the car and rolls her eyes. She says "Dummy! You have to roll the windows up!"
xD I heard that from my gramma. Some of my friends didn't get it, but I love that joke! =p
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:09 pm
LOL! i'm blond and i think those r hilarious
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:56 pm
HaHa! I love blonde jokes.
A Blond leaves a big dent in a guys car. He gets out of the car and draws a circle around the blonde. He tells her to stay in the circle. The guy gos over to the blonds car and smashes her windows she starts laughing.
He looks at her stange and pops her tires. She is still laughing. He destroys her car she falls on the ground laughing. He yells WHAT IS SO FUNNY!!!! She gets up and says when you wernt looking i jumped out of the circle three times!
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:07 pm
One day, a redhead, brunette, and a blonde died in a car accident. In order to get to heaven, they had to climb a staircase of 100 steps to heaven. God had to tell them a joke on each step and if they laughe, they would go to hell. The brunette got to the 7th step. The redhead got to the 39th step. The blonde was at the 99th step and God was about to tell her a joke, when she starts laughing hysterically. God says "I haven't even told the joke yet.. why are you laughing?" The blonde says "I just got the first one!!"
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:06 pm
There were three women who got caught robbing a bank one was a redhead one was a brunette the other was blond. The cops had their guns pointed at the women the brunette yells "Tornado!" the policemen look away and the brunette escapes. The redhead yells "Tidal wave!!" the policemen look away and she escapes, the blond yelled "Fire!!!"
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 1:51 am
Heh. My little brother told this joke. Then he told the same joke but with men of different nationalities. Meanwhile my other brother and I were screaming, "Gabe thats the same joke."
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Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:25 pm
There is two sisters, one blond one brunette, they saved up $500 for a bull so the brunette drove her car and bought the bull fo $499.01. She then went to go fax her sister to get the bull wither fer truck. But when she got there she needed 99 cents to send one word. After a while she tells the clerk she would like to fax her sister the word comfortable. The man asks how her sister will know what she wants. The brunette then answers, "My sister is a blond she will have to say it slow com-for-ta-ble."
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:38 pm
A blonde calls the fire department when her house is on fire.
"My house is on fire! Come quick!" She says. When the fireman asks how to get to her house, she says, "Duh, a big red truck!"
Got that one from my sister's roomate, who happens to be blonde.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:38 pm
A blonde walks into an electronics store and asks the clerk if she can buy the TV on display. The clerk tells her that he doesn't sell to blondes and that she should go home. Frustrated, she goes home and buys a brown wig on the way. The next day, she goes back and asks if she can buy the TV, wearing the wig. The guy shoos her away again. Again, she goes home and buys a red wig. The next day, she goes back wearing the red wig and asks if she can buy the TV. The man says that he won't serve her, still. The blonde asks "How do you know I'm blonde?!" and he says "Because that's a Microwave, not a TV".
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:49 pm
A blond goes to a yard sale and sees a TV. She asks the owner at the sale if she can buy it and he says "Sorry, I don't sell things to blonds." She dyed her hair red and went to the sale again and asked the seller again if she could buy the TV, but he said "sorry, i don't sell things to blonds" again. The next day she dyed her hair brown and went to the sale and asked again. Once again the seller says "I'm sorry, i don't sell things to blonds." So then the blond says "I dyed my hair twice, but you still know I'm a blond? And why won't you sell me the TV??" The man says "I know it was you the whole time because that's not a TV, it's a microwave."
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:49 pm
A blond horse racing jockey is riding in the biggest race of her life. She and the horse are thundering down the track to victory when her foot slips out of the stirrup and she starts to fall from the saddle. She clings to the side of the galloping horse and her hands can't hold her anymore. Her life passes before her eyes as she fall and breaks several bones on impact, barely escaping being trampled. When she opens her eyes a Walmart employee is running through the exit doors shouting if she's alright.
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:16 pm
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
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Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 10:48 pm
Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."
The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."
The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."
"Very good!" said St. Peter.
The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted!
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Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 10:50 pm
A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.
For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.
When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools.
Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"
Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole.
Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!"
Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again.
"There are no fish under the ice!!"
Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?"
The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!"
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