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Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:19 pm
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Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 11:50 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:39 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:38 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:54 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:55 pm
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Some do, and some don't. I wouldn't like to say it's a gender bias, however, from what I've seen, especially in my current line of work, most guys, normally in their twenties, unless in a similar situation with children, usually are in dire fear of any type of commitment or otherwise. I myself, look at children, and can't wait till I have the chance to raise one myself. However, I also come with hang ups such as: Will I be able to provide? Do I have the strength and fortitude to be the best father? The list goes on. But, unfortunately, my own love life is greatly lacking, but the best advice is just having that "fairy tale faith". As childish as it may sound, it's relatively up to you to find "The One". Just waiting for them or giving up hope all together will do nothing for you except hurt you in the long run. Of course, I really don't know you at all, so it's not my place to have any sort of judgment or give decent advice, however, I do hope this helps. And no, you're not alone.
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:24 am
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 10:39 am
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:58 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 10:25 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:49 pm
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Koichi Wing Slumbering Princess But then another part of me says..my heart has been damaged way to much, and I just don't know how much more it's willing to take. But then if I lost hope in love. What kind of life would that really be?
I just wish I wouldn't feel like because I haven't found him yet that I've lost all hope and he will never come along.
Btw..i'm loving all the guys responses. it's nice to hear their side. smile well first off welcome. I agree strongly in reverse positions. as in i don't know how much my heart can take either. I just rather skip all the chase and settle down tomorrow pretty much is how i feel. I kinda feel 1 of 2 things. I kinda feel like i found the one just she doesn't love me any more and the One has rejected me. though we'll see how recent events changes that. and 2 i feel as if i still haven't found the right girl for me :- either way, we'll see or i'll end up alone?
I definitely cant imagine getting back into the dating scene. Going through crappy guy after crappy guy. it sucks putting so much of yourself into someone, and then having it end. And then have to do it all over?
I honestly believe that I met "the one" already..well my thing is I believe in "the one" but i beliieve someone is meant to be the one for a certain amount of time. I feel people are there for the time they should be and move in. but I feel there is someone who is meant to be there for good. And I feel like my past could have been that person, but now it's gone. And it just makes you wonder if you'll ever find that again.
and you cant think maybe you'll just end up alone. I mean none of us can think that way, right? So it's gotta somehow be in the middle. You gotta still hope for love, but not give up thinking you'll find love.
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:06 am
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One thing I have noticed which seems to be a trend is that the quicker someone is to "fall in love", the more heartache they experience in the end. The reason for this is simple: when you're in a rush, you get careless. Even in the event that you want to wait a couple of years before marrying someone so that you know them better, the rush to find someone to date for that long can break your heart just as much if not more so than a bad marriage.
In the dating stage, while it is not considered as serious of a commitment as marriage, one should still be fastidious about who their partner is. Dating just anyone that you sort of get along with and hoping things will progress smoothly is likely not going to end well. Additionally, if you enter into a relationship with low standards and high expectations, you are ultimately asking for trouble.
It is best to be good friends with someone before you date so that you know you get along to a certain degree before taking things to a more intimate level. Also keep in mind that you do not need to "put your all" into every person you date. Doing so only makes the break up that much more disappointing and painful.
Do not convince yourself that just because you have a good thing going for a short while that it is "love". Use "love" with extreme discrimination; do not compromise just because you think being in love is a nice feeling and want to believe you have it. It is either love or it is not. Holding on to the belief that it was "love" and you have now "fallen out of it" or "lost it" makes it more agonizing and difficult to recover from when things do not work out.
Not only does rushing make you more careless about your choice in partners and how easily you "give them your heart", but it can also push others away. You may be trying to force the relationship to advance faster than your partner is comfortable with, and/or unloading on to them more responsibility than they are prepared and willing to handle considering how well they know you at the time and what their current mental and emotional status is.
It cannot always be about what you want out of the relationship. You and your partner have to work with each other to figure out where you are going, how you are going to get there, and how long it will take.
There is no rush to find "the one", and you have made it apparent that you know this at least to an extent. However, just knowing something and applying it to how you think and live are two completely separate things. One thing that may help is to analyze exactly why it is you feel you want to be married aside from "it would be nice" or "it's what I wanted since I was a child". These reasons are superficial; you need to dig deeper. There may be some underlying problem or need that is not being satisfied in your life that marriage may not necessarily be the only solution for. In all likelihood, if it is a severe issue you are having, it will eat away at your marriage instead of being alleviated by it.
Most importantly of all, you must be comfortable with yourself. If you have excess amounts of stress, insecurities, and lingering emotions and feelings acquired from previous relationships and other life experiences, you are guaranteed to dump this onto your partner, either knowingly or unknowingly. Either way, there is hardly a person willing to endure taking on the burden of trying to undo, apologize, and accept blame for actions that they are not and should not be held responsible for.
If you do not want to end up just dating "one jerk after another", then stop dating. Take a break, find out what void it is that you're trying to fill with a partner and fill it yourself. Fix your own problems first. No one wants to purchase broken merchandise at full price. Even in fairytales, you do not see the princess actively searching out prince charming through the duration of the story.
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Intellectual Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:23 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:39 pm
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well i dislike how the topic review is broken. that or my computer just dislikes it now. X.x idk. it's vista. Back to the topic that i want to quote everyone from biggrin
Slumbering Princess but I feel there is someone who is meant to be there for good. And I feel like my past could have been that person, but now it's gone. And it just makes you wonder if you'll ever find that again. and you cant think maybe you'll just end up alone. I mean none of us can think that way, right? So it's gotta somehow be in the middle. You gotta still hope for love, but not give up thinking you'll find love.
I agree. I really felt that the last could have been the one. but it just ended up not going to plan. and I'm still dealing with some of that. of course in her mature mind she's completely ignoring me and treating me as a mistake so i am just never going to get answers.
i feel like i'm in the middle more of just not starting to try to look again, but trying not to give up. so yeah razz it's tough razz
Khymarea When you've been together long enough to pass gas in front of someone, you've found someone you can be yourself with. If you can pass gas, brag about it and he laughs, you might as well marry him. ........................ odds are that you won't be, especially if you're female. I can't remember where exactly I read it but I seem to remember reading that females have it easier than guys when it comes to the dating game... something about guys being less picky than females. If that's to be believed, then there's hope for everyone... as long as they practice good hygiene, anyway.
have done that first part razz but whatever. that's long gone.
Well that sucks for being a guy? J/K razz idk. i'm mixed about that. I get told by many people out of state that I am "cute" yet there seems to be nothing for me in my state. Go figure? razz
I never said this razz :grunnyninja: but to clear things up razz
That Guy who exposed Guy secrets Guys do have some standards and Guys do have goals in which they hope to accomplish in dating. I.E. those shallow guys who go for Barbie razz Ken? i think that was his name. har har. Mostly all guys aim high but end up shooting low. So a guy shoots for that real life Barbie girl who couldn't possibly exist in real life. and that's fine it either works for Barbie & Ken or not razz Same Guy/ Different Guy shoots high for Barbie but he manages to make a shot with an amazing Girl who isn't Barbie sized but besides, she breaks by just poking her. so That amazing Girl who is still very attractive and the Guy either work or not. then same guy or different guy shoots high for barbie and then lands with a wonderful girl who might be lower on this ladder but has a great personality and has cute moments. They hit it off and yay biggrin Then there are some guys who have troubles in love and their standards are put simply as a girl who makes him happy. and that's whoever makes him happy
So that's that guy's kinda goal list and he either works his way down the the list till he catches something or what not razz enjoy? biggrin
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