Question: Why do people choose pregnancy over adoption?

[VodkaLeona]

Koichi Wing

mmm i would have to say time, expenses, interviews, more interviews, getting certified to adopt, going through adoption papers, waiting years and years to adopt a kid, having inspections of current living conditions, having inspections after you get the child, the post adoption interviews, the post adoption paper work, and then finally they leave you alone?

Idk for sure. but honestly I would say, the morning sickness, the prenatal pills, vitamins and the doctor visits and the child birth and the pain of child birth and the birth certification process is slightly easier than the adoption process. I do know that pregnancy is 9 months. I do know that there have been cases in adoptions where people have waited years and years for their adoptions to go through.


I agree with all you said. Though my pregnancy was very tough. One thing you left out though is that Most people adopting only want Babies...Small babies...Like under 2 years....they don't want older kids with emotional issues and learned behavior that has to be corrected. They want something they can attach to and mold to be like their real kid instead of someone elses. That is not why I chose pregnancy over adoption mind you. My situation was different and I was contimplating adoption later on but was told I couldn't get pregnant and then I did....And now I have a child and one is enough for me, I can't take on an adoption now. I would like to take on another older kid If I could though
in short? Pregnancy is shorter than Adoption? idk statistics but i would say that most pregnancies are shorter than adoptions?

 

[VodkaLeona]

starblazer66

Not to be funny but why do people always say that pregancy is 9 months if they want us to carry a baby for 40-41 weeks at most. 37 weeks is the considered full term and even that is technically over 9 months. =p

But back to the topic at hand, I understand how you feel even though I'm a bit different from you. I'm stuck with bipolar disorder and that's a nasty bug in itself too. My daughter also has a chance of developing it as well and probably much worse because her father's family has some metal health issues that are clearly unaddressed but I see them. The only thing I can do besides feed her as much organic food as possible (I believe exercise and our diets play a hand in mental health) is hope nothing manifests.

Whatever you decide, love that child like your own but before you do that, you have to love and accept yourself fully. That means instead of saying that you're autistic, say that you have autism. You're not your disability. That's what society what's to label people like us. smile

I suggest for you if you really want to keep issues down, think about also going on a Gluten free diet along with the organic Natural way. That means cut our Wheat products. Gluten in products agitates autism and I've seen people with the disease overcome a lot of it by fazing out the gluten. Most processesd foods, premade sauces and gravies have Gluton in them. It's major forms are MSG, Monosodium glutamate, and Wheat flour.  

[TequilaRose]

VodkaLeona

starblazer66

Not to be funny but why do people always say that pregancy is 9 months if they want us to carry a baby for 40-41 weeks at most. 37 weeks is the considered full term and even that is technically over 9 months. =p

But back to the topic at hand, I understand how you feel even though I'm a bit different from you. I'm stuck with bipolar disorder and that's a nasty bug in itself too. My daughter also has a chance of developing it as well and probably much worse because her father's family has some metal health issues that are clearly unaddressed but I see them. The only thing I can do besides feed her as much organic food as possible (I believe exercise and our diets play a hand in mental health) is hope nothing manifests.

Whatever you decide, love that child like your own but before you do that, you have to love and accept yourself fully. That means instead of saying that you're autistic, say that you have autism. You're not your disability. That's what society what's to label people like us. smile

I suggest for you if you really want to keep issues down, think about also going on a Gluten free diet along with the organic Natural way. That means cut our Wheat products. Gluten in products agitates autism and I've seen people with the disease overcome a lot of it by fazing out the gluten. Most processesd foods, premade sauces and gravies have Gluton in them. It's major forms are MSG, Monosodium glutamate, and Wheat flour.

Rye, Barly and contaminated oats too sis. * I have celiac after all*  

[VodkaLeona]

TequilaRose

VodkaLeona

starblazer66

Not to be funny but why do people always say that pregancy is 9 months if they want us to carry a baby for 40-41 weeks at most. 37 weeks is the considered full term and even that is technically over 9 months. =p

But back to the topic at hand, I understand how you feel even though I'm a bit different from you. I'm stuck with bipolar disorder and that's a nasty bug in itself too. My daughter also has a chance of developing it as well and probably much worse because her father's family has some metal health issues that are clearly unaddressed but I see them. The only thing I can do besides feed her as much organic food as possible (I believe exercise and our diets play a hand in mental health) is hope nothing manifests.

Whatever you decide, love that child like your own but before you do that, you have to love and accept yourself fully. That means instead of saying that you're autistic, say that you have autism. You're not your disability. That's what society what's to label people like us. smile

I suggest for you if you really want to keep issues down, think about also going on a Gluten free diet along with the organic Natural way. That means cut our Wheat products. Gluten in products agitates autism and I've seen people with the disease overcome a lot of it by fazing out the gluten. Most processesd foods, premade sauces and gravies have Gluton in them. It's major forms are MSG, Monosodium glutamate, and Wheat flour.

Rye, Barly and contaminated oats too sis. * I have celiac after all*

Yeah, that is why your better informend than me. LOL  

[Arroree]

Plugabugz

When you get pregnant, your whole body and hormone system tell you that you love being pregnant... You become a mom. It's mother nature at work and it's hard to fight. You don't even want to fight it, naturally.

Can i just laugh for a minute at this? Just for a minute.

Ok, now that im done laughing.
When you get pregnant your body and hormone system do NOT tell you that you love being pregnant. In reality it tells you that being pregnant is pure hell for the most part. Yes there is the rare woman who absolutely LOVES being pregnant, however the other 99% of us spend most of that *usually over 10 months* just miserable. Theres the nausea, vomitting, cramping, stabbing pains all over your midsection-back-hips, the leg cramps, the hip cramps, your boobs can hurt so bad you'd swear they were being ripped off, the gas, the bloating, the constipation and or diahrea, the hips widening *which does hurt by the way* and of course the eventual birth process that can feel like your being ripped open from the inside for anywhere from an hour to several days before the baby is finally out.

And all of that joy is with a normal healthy pregnancy. When you get pregnant your body and hormones do everything short of beat you with a stick. When you factor in complications, difficult pregnancies and the fact that in the US alone over a million women each year lose a pregnancy or deliver a stillborn and i'd have to say that our bodies and hormones see pregnancy as a time to show us how much they hate us.

For the record, ive been through it 5 times and thanks to the hatred of mother nature i only have 2 sons living to show for it all.  

[Katilys Heartsong]

Arroree

Plugabugz

When you get pregnant, your whole body and hormone system tell you that you love being pregnant... You become a mom. It's mother nature at work and it's hard to fight. You don't even want to fight it, naturally.

Can i just laugh for a minute at this? Just for a minute.

Ok, now that im done laughing.
When you get pregnant your body and hormone system do NOT tell you that you love being pregnant. In reality it tells you that being pregnant is pure hell for the most part. Yes there is the rare woman who absolutely LOVES being pregnant, however the other 99% of us spend most of that *usually over 10 months* just miserable. Theres the nausea, vomitting, cramping, stabbing pains all over your midsection-back-hips, the leg cramps, the hip cramps, your boobs can hurt so bad you'd swear they were being ripped off, the gas, the bloating, the constipation and or diahrea, the hips widening *which does hurt by the way* and of course the eventual birth process that can feel like your being ripped open from the inside for anywhere from an hour to several days before the baby is finally out.

And all of that joy is with a normal healthy pregnancy. When you get pregnant your body and hormones do everything short of beat you with a stick. When you factor in complications, difficult pregnancies and the fact that in the US alone over a million women each year lose a pregnancy or deliver a stillborn and i'd have to say that our bodies and hormones see pregnancy as a time to show us how much they hate us.

For the record, ive been through it 5 times and thanks to the hatred of mother nature i only have 2 sons living to show for it all.

I am certainly sorry for your unpleasant experiences, but I wanted to tell you ( I am sure you know already) your boys are gorgeous!  

[Matasoga]

As an adopted child I would still choose pregnancy. I am, alas, a male, but don't think me insensitive. When my wife first started on the pill, she was... Well, the campus police had to respond to a tantrum she had that escalated over someone having sat in the seat that she usually used. The hormonal adjustments during pregnancy will be worse. Call me a chauvanist if you like, but I am going to have to say that the pregnancy will be approximately as hard on me as it is on her.
Still, I quite like the idea of a child that shares my genes. I know that it's irrational but... Maybe it's my passion as an artist, but I like to develop my own creations rather than work with the creation of someone else... But maybe I'm just rationalizing and it's a decision I was influenced to on a more instinctual level.
A note to some who I feel have missunderstood something; most adoptions happen, not from an orphanage at age five, but it occurs days, if not hours after delivery and was pre-arranged.  

[Keisaku Hakurei]

I'll probably marry someone who already has children. I'll only adopt if she doesn't have at least 2 kids. I refuse to pass on my bad eyesight and autism to someone else.  

[Keisaku Hakurei]

Matasoga

As an adopted child I would still choose pregnancy. I am, alas, a male, but don't think me insensitive. When my wife first started on the pill, she was... Well, the campus police had to respond to a tantrum she had that escalated over someone having sat in the seat that she usually used. The hormonal adjustments during pregnancy will be worse. Call me a chauvanist if you like, but I am going to have to say that the pregnancy will be approximately as hard on me as it is on her.
Still, I quite like the idea of a child that shares my genes. I know that it's irrational but... Maybe it's my passion as an artist, but I like to develop my own creations rather than work with the creation of someone else... But maybe I'm just rationalizing and it's a decision I was influenced to on a more instinctual level.
A note to some who I feel have missunderstood something; most adoptions happen, not from an orphanage at age five, but it occurs days, if not hours after delivery and was pre-arranged.

I see. I don't really care whose "work" it is, and also wouldn't want to subject my wife to the discomforts and unpleasantness of pregnancy and the pains of childbirth. So I don't get to feel the baby kicking or watch my children get born. Big deal. I'd still love them even though they weren't related to me.

But as a "special" person myself, I know what such children are like and do not want to raise any like that. Learning/behavioral disorders are hereditary, you know.  

[Arroree]

Katilys Heartsong

Arroree

Plugabugz

When you get pregnant, your whole body and hormone system tell you that you love being pregnant... You become a mom. It's mother nature at work and it's hard to fight. You don't even want to fight it, naturally.

Can i just laugh for a minute at this? Just for a minute.

Ok, now that im done laughing.
When you get pregnant your body and hormone system do NOT tell you that you love being pregnant. In reality it tells you that being pregnant is pure hell for the most part. Yes there is the rare woman who absolutely LOVES being pregnant, however the other 99% of us spend most of that *usually over 10 months* just miserable. Theres the nausea, vomitting, cramping, stabbing pains all over your midsection-back-hips, the leg cramps, the hip cramps, your boobs can hurt so bad you'd swear they were being ripped off, the gas, the bloating, the constipation and or diahrea, the hips widening *which does hurt by the way* and of course the eventual birth process that can feel like your being ripped open from the inside for anywhere from an hour to several days before the baby is finally out.

And all of that joy is with a normal healthy pregnancy. When you get pregnant your body and hormones do everything short of beat you with a stick. When you factor in complications, difficult pregnancies and the fact that in the US alone over a million women each year lose a pregnancy or deliver a stillborn and i'd have to say that our bodies and hormones see pregnancy as a time to show us how much they hate us.

For the record, ive been through it 5 times and thanks to the hatred of mother nature i only have 2 sons living to show for it all.

I am certainly sorry for your unpleasant experiences, but I wanted to tell you ( I am sure you know already) your boys are gorgeous!

Thanks smile We think they're adorable lil demons,,err angels smile
All that cuteness hides pure stubborn obstinance and way too much smarts, WAY too much lol.  

[LilyRoseFaerie]

Well, I have a rather unique perspective: I was married before, and had one child from that marriage. We divorced, rather bitterly. and I remarried 3 years later. My new husband has been part of my and my son's life since my son was 6 months old. My husband is the only father he's ever really known. We had our first baby together last February. My husband is working on adopting my first child. As a woman who has gone through pregnancy and childbirth, all I can tell you is that it's a very unique experience, different for every woman. With my first, I had no morning sickness, but I ended up with gallstones. My second pregnancy I had some morning sickness, but nothing really to be concerned about. They were both relatively trouble free. My deliveries were both c-section out of necessity. My first son was so tangled in the umbilical cord that he couldn't descend into the birth canal, and since I had had one c/s before, I had to have a second one. They don't do VBACs here, unfortunately. Before I got pregnant for the first time, I had 2 miscarriages. I didn't think I could stay pregnant, and then during the pregnancy, the issues in my marriage (abuse, cheating, drugs, etc) came to the forefront and I decided I could not put my child through that. I could handle it myself, but I wasn't about to let an innocent baby be hurt.

My husband sees my older son as his, since he's been with us for everything except the conception and birth. He always thought that he would never be able to love a child that wasn't his own. He was so wrong. He's loved my little boy since he laid eyes on him on the night of our first date.

The adoption will cost us almost $1,400, and that's with a hefty price cut (we know our lawyer VERY well - she's family). Usually, lawyer's fees alone are over 2k, then you have the home visit to make sure that you are doing right by the child, and you have the court date, and possibly a fight by the biological parent(s), which costs more money. Adoption is great, and I wish that more people would adopt, but it can take a long time and a lot of money. Why do you think these "fashionable" celebs go out of the country (United States) to adopt kids? It's easier, cheaper, and faster.  

[Noble Legolas]

Arroree

Plugabugz

When you get pregnant, your whole body and hormone system tell you that you love being pregnant... You become a mom. It's mother nature at work and it's hard to fight. You don't even want to fight it, naturally.

Can i just laugh for a minute at this? Just for a minute.

Ok, now that im done laughing.
When you get pregnant your body and hormone system do NOT tell you that you love being pregnant. In reality it tells you that being pregnant is pure hell for the most part. Yes there is the rare woman who absolutely LOVES being pregnant, however the other 99% of us spend most of that *usually over 10 months* just miserable. Theres the nausea, vomitting, cramping, stabbing pains all over your midsection-back-hips, the leg cramps, the hip cramps, your boobs can hurt so bad you'd swear they were being ripped off, the gas, the bloating, the constipation and or diahrea, the hips widening *which does hurt by the way* and of course the eventual birth process that can feel like your being ripped open from the inside for anywhere from an hour to several days before the baby is finally out.

And all of that joy is with a normal healthy pregnancy. When you get pregnant your body and hormones do everything short of beat you with a stick. When you factor in complications, difficult pregnancies and the fact that in the US alone over a million women each year lose a pregnancy or deliver a stillborn and i'd have to say that our bodies and hormones see pregnancy as a time to show us how much they hate us.

For the record, ive been through it 5 times and thanks to the hatred of mother nature i only have 2 sons living to show for it all.

I shouldn't have made it sound like it's the same for all women. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through such negative experiences. Excuse my inconsiderate post. It was about my own personal experience with pregnancy ofcourse.

I have to say I admire your courage to go through it four more times after the first bad experience. I would have backed off right away!