Hey all, I haven't really posted in this guild (or Gaia, for that matter) in a really long time. Lately, though, a LOT of things have been bothering me and I don't really know who to talk to about it which made me think of you guys.
Here's my story:
I'm 17 years old and I've been dating this guy who's a lot older than me for two and a half years now. We met on World of Warcraft when he was living two states away from me and had just been released from the Air Force prematurely (long story). We had known each other for quite a long time on WoW before I developed feelings for him and eventually I asked him out. He was resistant at first because of my age but circumstances and my pushing ended up in him giving in.
Now, I had done the online dating thing MANY times before, but usually they never worked out. I fell pretty hard for him and we started making some crazy plans about him visiting. I asked my parents about it and they said that it was fine as long as they got to meet him and talk to him a bit first.
He showed up Christmas Eve night and, not to make a cheesy rhyme or anything, but it was love at first sight. He ended up moving here to be with me a couple months later. Since he didn't have the funds or job set up, he moved in my parents house and we've been living together ever since. He got a job working at a gas station and I worked at a restaurant for five months but I'm unemployed right now.
My boyfriend (we'll call him Dave) is EXTREMELY sweet and loving. Before me, he had never had a serious relationship or had sex. He grew up in the midwest with an a*****e for a father and an overworked but loving mother. Dave's dad died when he was only 16 and he didn't really feel much over it.
I love Dave's shyness and his ability to make me laugh and smile when I'm feeling down. I love how he loves my cuteness and sees past my weight to the real me. I love how he is patient with my anger issues. I love how he tells me that I'm beautiful, sexy, and a wonderful girlfriend.
I don't feel like a wonderful girlfriend though. I feel terrible because no matter how much I try, I simply can't be happy with him right now. Dave isn't romantic or spontaneous. I feel he favors video games over me a lot of the time. Also, to be frank, Dave is really bad in bed. He's got the equipment but never learned how to use it. Over the past two years, Dave's performance in bed coupled with my bad experiences sexually when I was a child has really made me hate sex and dislike even being in the mood. He feels really bad about this and wants to make it up to me by the practice makes perfect method. But I don't enjoy sex at all. Not one bit.
I'm turning 18 in early March and will be inheriting a somewhat large sum of money. Dave and I decided about a year ago that we should buy a house with this money away from here and live together happily ever after; he could be the working husband while I could stay home with the dog, cook, clean, and most likely have a part time job. Dave tries his hardest to assure me that if I moved away with him, I would be truly happy because he'd magically get spontaneous, romantic, less addicted to video games, and get better in bed. Dave is also considering going back into the Air Force and says he will have to marry me before re-enlisting if I want to be with him.
About six months ago, I met this guy (we'll call him Jack) on WoW who is AMAZING. I love his voice, he is apparently great in bed, spontaneous, romantic, and lost girlfriends only because he was "too much of a good guy." This sounds like he would be making it up but I talked to a few people to confirm. He is REALLY into me and doesn't live that far away. He's telling me that he wants to steal me away because he knows all about mine and Dave's situation and feels it would be irresponsible to myself to do something when I don't think I'll be happy. It seems really selfish to just think about myself though.
I have expressed to Jack that I'm... developing feelings for him. He reciprocated them and Dave knows about it. I almost broke up with Dave over it but he convinced me to give him one more chance to show me what a good boyfriend he can be. He tried so hard and I took him back. I have no idea if I took him back because I would feel inhumane about crushing his heart or if I really love him. Oh, that's another thing. I love Dave with all my heart, but I firmly believe that I'm not in love with him. Hearing this... made Dave cry. And he's NEVER cried in front of me.
Now to my real dilemma: I am so confused about what is good for me in this situation and a lot of things are contributing to the confusion.
1. I have never once moved in my life so moving, alone, is a HUGE step for me and a scary one at that.
2. I have no proof from Dave or from my heart that I will be happy once we move
3. Buying a house with someone is a very permanent-feeling idea and I don't want to go into something then regret it and be out of the money.
4. Jack seems like he would be Dave plus all the things I'm missing. I realize that he can't be perfect, but I don't need perfect. I need happy.
5. I really want to just abandon Dave (see, selfish right?) and ride the winds of impulse to go have a wild sex fest with Jack once I'm 18.
6. I am deathly afraid of staying with Dave and regretting it because I never got to explore men or life by myself even though Dave is a really great guy.
I don't want to lose possibly the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, but I also don't want to miss out on my own happiness. I apologize that this post is so long and I appreciate those that took the time to read it; even moreso the people that respond. Feel free to share your own stories and comment with any opinions on the matter. Oh, and please don't quote this post as I mentioned before, it is long and would be destruction to the eyes. =P
Here's my story:
I'm 17 years old and I've been dating this guy who's a lot older than me for two and a half years now. We met on World of Warcraft when he was living two states away from me and had just been released from the Air Force prematurely (long story). We had known each other for quite a long time on WoW before I developed feelings for him and eventually I asked him out. He was resistant at first because of my age but circumstances and my pushing ended up in him giving in.
Now, I had done the online dating thing MANY times before, but usually they never worked out. I fell pretty hard for him and we started making some crazy plans about him visiting. I asked my parents about it and they said that it was fine as long as they got to meet him and talk to him a bit first.
He showed up Christmas Eve night and, not to make a cheesy rhyme or anything, but it was love at first sight. He ended up moving here to be with me a couple months later. Since he didn't have the funds or job set up, he moved in my parents house and we've been living together ever since. He got a job working at a gas station and I worked at a restaurant for five months but I'm unemployed right now.
My boyfriend (we'll call him Dave) is EXTREMELY sweet and loving. Before me, he had never had a serious relationship or had sex. He grew up in the midwest with an a*****e for a father and an overworked but loving mother. Dave's dad died when he was only 16 and he didn't really feel much over it.
I love Dave's shyness and his ability to make me laugh and smile when I'm feeling down. I love how he loves my cuteness and sees past my weight to the real me. I love how he is patient with my anger issues. I love how he tells me that I'm beautiful, sexy, and a wonderful girlfriend.
I don't feel like a wonderful girlfriend though. I feel terrible because no matter how much I try, I simply can't be happy with him right now. Dave isn't romantic or spontaneous. I feel he favors video games over me a lot of the time. Also, to be frank, Dave is really bad in bed. He's got the equipment but never learned how to use it. Over the past two years, Dave's performance in bed coupled with my bad experiences sexually when I was a child has really made me hate sex and dislike even being in the mood. He feels really bad about this and wants to make it up to me by the practice makes perfect method. But I don't enjoy sex at all. Not one bit.
I'm turning 18 in early March and will be inheriting a somewhat large sum of money. Dave and I decided about a year ago that we should buy a house with this money away from here and live together happily ever after; he could be the working husband while I could stay home with the dog, cook, clean, and most likely have a part time job. Dave tries his hardest to assure me that if I moved away with him, I would be truly happy because he'd magically get spontaneous, romantic, less addicted to video games, and get better in bed. Dave is also considering going back into the Air Force and says he will have to marry me before re-enlisting if I want to be with him.
About six months ago, I met this guy (we'll call him Jack) on WoW who is AMAZING. I love his voice, he is apparently great in bed, spontaneous, romantic, and lost girlfriends only because he was "too much of a good guy." This sounds like he would be making it up but I talked to a few people to confirm. He is REALLY into me and doesn't live that far away. He's telling me that he wants to steal me away because he knows all about mine and Dave's situation and feels it would be irresponsible to myself to do something when I don't think I'll be happy. It seems really selfish to just think about myself though.
I have expressed to Jack that I'm... developing feelings for him. He reciprocated them and Dave knows about it. I almost broke up with Dave over it but he convinced me to give him one more chance to show me what a good boyfriend he can be. He tried so hard and I took him back. I have no idea if I took him back because I would feel inhumane about crushing his heart or if I really love him. Oh, that's another thing. I love Dave with all my heart, but I firmly believe that I'm not in love with him. Hearing this... made Dave cry. And he's NEVER cried in front of me.
Now to my real dilemma: I am so confused about what is good for me in this situation and a lot of things are contributing to the confusion.
1. I have never once moved in my life so moving, alone, is a HUGE step for me and a scary one at that.
2. I have no proof from Dave or from my heart that I will be happy once we move
3. Buying a house with someone is a very permanent-feeling idea and I don't want to go into something then regret it and be out of the money.
4. Jack seems like he would be Dave plus all the things I'm missing. I realize that he can't be perfect, but I don't need perfect. I need happy.
5. I really want to just abandon Dave (see, selfish right?) and ride the winds of impulse to go have a wild sex fest with Jack once I'm 18.
6. I am deathly afraid of staying with Dave and regretting it because I never got to explore men or life by myself even though Dave is a really great guy.
I don't want to lose possibly the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, but I also don't want to miss out on my own happiness. I apologize that this post is so long and I appreciate those that took the time to read it; even moreso the people that respond. Feel free to share your own stories and comment with any opinions on the matter. Oh, and please don't quote this post as I mentioned before, it is long and would be destruction to the eyes. =P