Why is it so bad?

[lady leko-chan]

So my cousin just hurt my feelings badly...
I left my home town and got married and live far away now. And I'm happy about this, I'm healthier than I've ever been and I would never take any of it back. In the process of doing this I cut off so many many ties precisely because of the same reason that my cousin so nicely stabbed me with today. rolleyes I canceled all of my social networking account that were personal, I had too many "friends" that were not really friends and all they did was make me feel like I didn't have any right be be even a tiny bit happy and selfish. So getting to the point, facebook, my cousin just flipped on me. Told me that not having a facebook is proof that I am being isolated and I need to have one at least for family. I find this nuts! This is my very close cousin who has been a good friend to me and he just about made me cry at work today over instant messenger! He was saying things about my husband and well I'm mostly pissed and don't' have the time to think or deal with this. is it really so wrong to want a private life? Why is it so necessary to open all my business up for the world to see? After all this I just feel more justified in not having the stupid page so people don't have the means to yell at me like that!

sorry needed to vent badly, crying at work is not good.  

[Kairanha]

*hugs you* I'm a pretty private person myself so I can relate. I've refused to have most normal social networking site account just because for the fact that if I'm talking to one person in particular I don't want the whole world to be able to listen in. It makes me feel like a gossip column for cheap laughs and entertainment.

Nobody - and I mean not one single individual - needs to know what I'm doing every single second of my day. If someone wants to talk to me they can do it personally rather than just glean information from a website and pretend like they know me.

My close family members have my phone number and e-mail address. If they are too fricking lazy or just don't want to use it they are not going to be part of my personal life.

There are certain people that I feel comfortable with and go to when I need advice or just someone to listen to me and a shoulder to cry on. I'm not going to do any of that in the public eye. Not everyone needs to know my internal struggles and battles.

People tend to forget in this information age that knowledge is power. Most people are safe to talk around, but there are a few that will take advantage of what you've said or done in the past for personal benefit or just to screw with you. I'd rather play it safe since a couple times in my past I was betrayed by people I thought I could trust - one being a close family member - so I've learned to be more careful about what kind of information I choose to make public.

I'm selfish to a certain degree. If I'm not in a position that I'm in good health and my emotions are mostly positive there's no way I'm going to make anyone else happy if I can't even make myself happy.

I'm not sure any of that would help sweatdrop but just do what you got to do and do what feels right to you.  

[BlackR.16]

Im here for . I know exactly what you are talking about. family, so called friends all showed their true color when I got married. But you know what I found out that I didnt need their false cares and I broke my ties with most of them. I dont regret my ecisions at all and I find myself happier than I have ever been. Dont let people around you who only will is to get you down and conform to their standards. Its your life, so live it. I personally wish you and your husband the best of everything.  

[lady leko-chan]

i'm really relieved to get such responses.
Thanks so much for them.
It just hurts so much because this is a relative I've been very close with in my high school years and I thought we were still on the same page...
But I see now that he and I just aren't.
I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who holds a perspective like this.
I feel much better now thanks!
3nodding  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Sometimes our similarities creep me out, Leko.

I also moved to get married and haven't seen any of my relatives {aside from the spouse's family} since the wedding, although I didn't purposefully cut off all ties to get away from them. I just wanted to be with my spouse and I was always a bit private to begin with. Since getting married I have become even more so and I don't really think there's anything wrong with that.

Like Kai, I gave my family members my email address, home address, and phone number. If they do not want to write or call, that is not my fault. Granted I could just as easily write or call them, but I feel if there isn't anything important to announce then there isn't much point. I don't need a play by play of their lives and likewise they don't need one of mine. But even if they're curious, they can call or email me and ask.

Social networking sites like facebook and myspace are basically just ways to keep tabs on people without actually having to talk to them. For someone to claim that you "need" one so family can keep up with you just shows that they think it's too much of a hassle to hear about your life directly from you and just want a quick summary that they can glance over. If it is really that important to them, then they will talk to you. There is no need to be a member of some website to stay in touch with family since there are so many other means in which you can do so.  

[lady leko-chan]

* wink at TES*
The cutting of ties was for so called friends I had, that were, well not friends.
All my family and a few select best friends have all the means to keep in touch with me. This particular family member just felt that talking to me over instant messenger every once and awhile was not a good enough picture of how I was doing. When I did have an online account he never really talked to me but I guess he felt better because there were images of me available... I have no clue. So I think you are right about the wanting a summary to glance through TES, rather than taking the time to talk to me directly. I also think he has a problem with the type of person he perceives my spouse to be so... None of this is really my problem.  

[Sayoami]

love u pie!!! heart heart heart heart

(so i guess this means were not posting any sister pics bahhahah)  

[lady leko-chan]

*facepalm*
(( how are you going to go and call me by my nickname gonk ))