History Stories

[Dark_Passion_Poet]

Anyone have a really good story from history that fits perfectly with Hetalia? I'll share mine.

DEFEAT OF THE SPANISH ARMADA
OK, so to summarize, the whole Catholic VS Protestant thing is happening in Europe and the Spanish Inquisition makes it 10X worse. Then, Philip II, King of Spain decides, "England is Protestant! We'll convert them!"
He offers marriage to Queen Elizabeth I several times who pretty much replies with "I'll think about it..." and in the mean time, is finding ways to defend her home. Finally, Philip II gets mad and says, "You know what England, we're gonna bring the inquisition to you!"
Elizabeth I says "Bugger off, bloody git!" sets up a series of towers on the southern coat of England. Watchmen armed these towers and at the first sign of hostile ships, would light fires to signal the other towers to light their fires. Troops would wait on the main island in case of invasion and small, maneuverable fishing boats would be released into the channel. Facing them was the 300+ fleet of Spanish flag ships with thousands of invasion forces. But, due to the large amount of these ships all in the English Channel at one time, it became crowded and hard to steer through. The English would then putt in on their little boats, more or less Molentov cocktail the great wooden ships, and row away. The Spanish were frightened by this and didn't know what to do: it was either burn or drown. Even though only about 6 ships were burned, the Spanish still retreated, attempting to sail around the eastern coast of Great Britain. As they came around Scotland, they were running out of provisions and fresh water. Finally, a storm struck the remaining ships. Some landed in Ireland and remained there, creating the "black irish" while most of them died in the storm.
Hetalia made this story hilarious! (please forgive me if some of my numbers or sequences are incorrect. i learned this in my first semester of European History class and had to move on to other lessons, forgetting some details)  

[Luckybug76]

A.P.U.S. History. Zero period. Teacher decides to sum up the causes of WWI in a few short sentences:

"So Serbia was all like 'I'mma attack you, Austria!' and then Germany was all like 'GTFO of Austria, Serbia!' and then he attacked Serbia. Russia got pissed and was all like 'DUN HURT MY SERBIAN BROTHERS, DA?!' and so he attacked Germany. Then all hell kinda broke loose."

Also, one morning I was spacing out until I heard the following:

"So what'd we buy?"
"The Virgin Islands."
"Who'd we buy them from?"
"Denmark."

WHAAAAAT?!  

[Dark_Passion_Poet]

I don't think I will ever think of the Virgin Islands and Denmark the same way ever again XDDDD  

[Celebiest]

Denmark? Virgin Islands? oh dear...