Down the road from me is this hillbilly and his wife on welfare, his wife sounds like a man and the guys on the chubby side. Well before I go forward, this hillbilly has a very weak heart and I don't know the technical name for it but if he gets too stressed or puts too much strain on himself he'll basically have a mini-heart attack. So yesterday in the early morning before the paper guy came around he was sitting out on the porch in just a tanktop and his skivvies ( a mental picture I'm envious you people dont have the knowledge of knowing how disturbing it is ) and he goes to walk across the street to steal the newspaper. Well he gets to the porch and the owner comes out and says "Waht the hell do you think yo-..." he was cut off when the hillbilly decked him in the face then ran off. Well the hillbilly made it half way across the lawn almost up to the street before he stopped, turned bright red in the face and began panting and pounding on his chest with his left hand before he pretty much keeled over... you could of imagined a tuba playing a low-sinking tune as he keeled to the ground and it would have matched.
The guys fine now and came back from the hospital, but now he's facing an indecent exposure lawsuit. And to keep myself out of it not wanting to be a future victim of him trying to sue me for say having a heart attack on my lawn after attempting to come and assault me in drunken rage I reluctantly just told the police "No comment." when they where taking down information. Though I have to say it was hiliarious now thinking back on it. rofl
The Suites
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