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Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent. Some types of sexual acts which fall under the category of sexual assault include forced sexual intercourse (rape), sodomy (oral or a**l sexual acts), child molestation, incest, fondling and attempted rape. Sexual assault in any form is often a devastating crime. Assailants can be strangers, acquaintances, friends, or family members. Assailants commit sexual assault by way of violence, threats, coercion, manipulation, pressure or tricks. Whatever the circumstances, no one asks or deserves to be sexually assaulted.~ncvc

Too often "rape" is thrown around in casual conversation, even joked about. News stories about brutal rapes are shrugged off, some going so far as to debate whether or not the victim was "asking for it." This sort of attitude makes it even more difficult for a sexually assaulted victim to report the crime -- especially if it wasn't penetrative rape. Sexual assault of all varieties are all too often encouraged by the fear of taking action.

SPEAK -- a powerful fiction novel that shows the unraveled mind of a young rape victim. In the end, she finds the strength to speak. Unfortunately, a large amount of women are none so lucky. A woman may feel not just threatened by the rapist themselves but also by society -- that she won't be believed, that no one will do anything about it, perhaps her clothing choice would "suggest otherwise", etc. etc. (I'm not excluding men at all; it's a girls' forum, so yeah.)

Share your stories. Rant. Vent it out. Go into details if you have to, anything to make you feel more at peace with the ordeal. If you're not comfortable doing so online, think about opening up to a friend, a parent, a teacher, a pastor -- anyone you can trust for support.

All will be regarded with respect and compassion.
No unkind words will be tolerated. Whatsoever.

"You're not a monster. The one that hurt you was."

flauterfli - I live in oregon... I hope that you feel a little better now that you've shared your story. An that boy sounded scary >.>; *pats* at least you have a good supportive boyfriend now.


Jenitorturer - Okay... your story seriously made me cry. I felt like I wanted to rush to your side and just hug you... *hug* ;-; *sniffle* You are definitely NOT a monster! Your not anything but a beautiful girl. None of those horrible names describe you. That man is a horrible person for thinking of you like that and thinking he could take advantage of you.

I understand sex addiction very well, because I have struggled with it in the past... and still sometimes do. But I'm getting a little better (now that I've gotten closer to god - but its still hard) It can sometimes be completely hormonal and there is nothing you can do about that, but see a doctor maybe.

I was abused alot in my past... and according to therapists that is part of the reason I became originally addicted to sexual things (not so much as sex itself just sexual acts... such as masturbation and what not)

I was abused when I was 6.... A very close friend of mine, whom I looked up to as part of my family whom was 7yrs older then me (he was my moms best friends son) somehow convinced me... to have sex with him. Saying it was a game. He had sex with me, and though I didnt like it at first... slowly I got used to it after we did it several times. An eventually I kind of started to enjoy it. But I thought something was really weird that we had to hide it form everyone. I started to feel really weird, and bad about it whenever he made me do things... like give him a b*****b or have sex with me (in weird places like public playgrounds, outside, under the bed or stuff like that) But it didnt stop until he moved away for a short time. I thought something was wrong with me... and I eventually blocked it out of my mind, I didnt KNOW what sex was until along time later. (yrs) and when I finally knew... I thought I must have made that all up, or dreamed it up and I was a sick person.

For years I thought I was just a messed up person, and I turned it around on myself. I started to become addicted to sex around 11. But I was to terified by then that people would hate me, or be disgusted by me that I never dared approching another boy. Until I was 15, when I found a boyfriend whom I had sex with again. Our crappy messed up relationship lasted over a yr. Until I finally ended it.

I still struggled for a while, and realized that it wasnt my fault and told my mom and sister about what had happen. An found out that the boy (whom I still know and forgave somehow) tryed to do things to 3 of my sisters as well. (but my big sister grace beat him up for it lol - she's the same age as him)

I found god, and it helped me to forgive myself, and him. He changed thankfully. An got better. But I know some people dont.

I still have strong sexual desires... and I try to avoid being with guys I like alone, or in relationships cuz I know that I wont have the will to resist not wanting to just have sex with them... Although I sadly let myself slip into it again

I met up with a friend who kind of liked me and is very sexual... I thought to myself no. I will be strong and not do anything with him. But.... the first day we met up.... He started kissing me and my resolve vanished and I told him to **** me >.>;

An sadly... since every time I had actual sex with a guy other then just playing by myself... was just the right number of yrs apart. I have had my hymen broken 3 times! Not fun >.>; An this time it REALLY hurt! (he's kinda big) An... hurt for days after and bled... but I still have sex with him and crave it all the time now. So I'm a little afraid Im gonna be addicted again... Starting to really freak me out a bit.

Wow.. Sometimes I can't believe how horribly people treat the sexually abused, or assaulted. They say it's OUR fault. WE're the ones that should've stayed at home, or kept our pants on. When in fact, it's not in any way shape or form, the fault of the innocent. Men can be cruel. I know that for a fact. Women can be, as well. It's honestly really hard for me, because love is kindof like a two-way street. You either fall in love and are meant to be forever, and your lover stays loyal; or sadly everything comes crumbling down, and either you end up hurt emotionally, or physically. Most times both.

Now I just have one piece of advice for those, like me who have been sexually abused/assaulted. TALK ABOUT IT. If you can't find someone in your life offline who understands and will listen, rant in the guild. Tell your feelings! Let it all out so you can release some of the built up fear and anxiety from the experiences went through. I've been there. I was sexually assaulted by my COUSIN. He was a very troubled boy. Went to jail at age 16.

But I got over things by telling friends, family, even just friends or people in my guilds, or on Gaia how I felt. The biggest thing people need after going through something like sexual abuse; (in my opinion) is a friend. Someone who will listen, and understand what you're going through. Someone whose been through the same circumstances.

I hope this helps a little, and if anyone ever needs someone who will listen, and understand.. I'm here for you! Guildies stick together <3

@ MunakMousie: I feel somewhat privileged and grateful that you shared your experience.

I used to be really nervous about talking about subjects like this.. even the topic of sex alone would be enough to make me cry. But now i finally realize that i should not be ashamed of myself because i'm not the only victim.

It makes me wonder how many women/men out there have actually experienced this and are afraid to talk about it.

Same here. My parents have their suspicions, but they haven't really bugged me about it. Probably because they know that that was sort of what landed me in rehab.

my parents are kinda conservative. They don't believe in sex before marriage either so i cant imagine what would happen if they found out.

Well.. i dont know.. he somewhat took advantage of you in the past.. it's something to consider.

That's true.
I'm not so different alone than when im with friends, though. So you would know what to expect from me..
Except that im much more romantic and intimate and i smile much more when im alone with someone.

I hope everything went well for you. I'd love to know how everything's going and maybe we can keep in touch because im super nosey LOL.

Sorry i couldnt respond earlier to this. I've just been super busy lately and ive been struggling with some other things ><

The guy im currently with fits the bill for my ideal guy.. except.. he seems sexually resistant, which is odd, but im somewhat glad.

And you too ! I hope things get better and it was a really good feeling to have this conversation with you because i just felt like you were speaking my words.

Im always free to talk with as well <3

Well, I don't know if this is sexual assult, but, once this boy came up to me while I was in my locker(I was in like, 7th grade) and out of no where, he humps my arm(or side or whatever). Is it?

Sorry for not posting for agees.
Life gets ahead of me sometimes. :'D
Some of these stories make me sniffle, but I'm glad that girls feel safe to confide in this thread.

@Jeni: you are not a monster!
Being sexually active does not make you a whore, a slut, or anything of the sort! It does not make you deserve what that jerk did to you, at all. You are a beautiful young woman that deserves a loving man who will cherish you for much more than your body. Enjoying sex is a natural and wonderful thing. While there are many intolerant people out there, believe that you do have a friend, a family member, and especially a guild online that believes that he violated you inexplicably -- you were in no way asking for it, and whether or not your body responded doesn't matter. If you didn't want it, he shouldn't have forced anything on you. It was wrong. There is no denying it. Please forgive and love yourself. =) And, request that your master aid you in such. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

@Munak: I'm very sorry for what happened to you. It still alarms me that such things do happen to those so young...but at least God has helped him get better, and given you the strength to forgive.
Sex can be a strong and sometimes irresistible force...abstaining can be quite the struggle for my boyfriend and I, so I sympathize with you there...But keep in mind that sexual, intimate acts are always much better and wonderful with the one you love. I used to do things with a previous boyfriend(a more recent one, not abusive), one that I stayed with for quite some time and never really loved. I got addicted to being touched and, honestly, stayed with him mostly because I wanted someone to make out with. Finally I ended it with him. After being with someone who I truly love and care about, everything was soooo much better...it helps that, yeah, he's an almost-lover, but mainly it's because I love him. I don't know if it'll help any, but if you feel regret for having sex with guys who don't treat you right, or those whom you don't have feelings for, try to wait for a great guy who won't make you feel guilty about sex. Think that it'll feel better, that it probably be the best, pain-free sex you've ever had. Maybe you'll better be able to curb an unhealthy appetite for sex that makes you feel bad. I'm still a virgin so perhaps I'm not the best source of advice for this, but I do believe sex should make you feel loved and secure, not terrible. Raise your chin and deny meaningless pleasure because, hun, you're too good to lower your standards to it.

@KawaaiHikari: Yes, that very much was. If that ever happens to you again, tell him to cut it out and that such behavior is uncalled for and unacceptable. If it were to persist, reporting it, or at least confiding in someone about it, would be a necessary action. (boys that young don't always understand their boundaries, either because they haven't been taught or are too immature comprehend it, and need to be reprimanded or the behavior could worsen)

I could use a safe haven. ninja

I think I'm a lot better than I used to be. A lot of negative self-images were changed. I love myself now. I respect myself. I have compassion for who I used to be.

It still utterly sucks. gonk

My health, physical and mental, has gone to utter s**t. Seriously. You want to know what all is wrong with me? Of course you don't, but I shall say it, anyway. blaugh

Mental: PTSD, complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, multiple phobias, and recovering ED
Physical: headaches, migraines, gastroparesis, clubfeet, uneven hips, one leg is shorter than the other, wrist pain, Reynaud's phenomenon, vulvodynia, vaginismus [although I think that's actually not the case], exercise-induced asthma, multiple allergies [including lactose intolerance xp and the flu shot. And cats and chickens, wth?]. I think that's it, but it's probably not...

And why have all those problems? Well, for one, my father started molesting me when I was 4 years old. cry And then mostly stopped for a while, and then life was utter hell from 8-10 years old. I...don't want to talk about that right now. I have no idea if anything happened after that, but when I was 14, I went to bed in my pajamas and when I woke up, my pj pants were still on, but my underwear had been folded neatly by my head. eek I'll accept that I could have somehow taken an article of clothing off. But like that? Um, no.

I completely forgot until I was 20 that any of the sexual abuse happened. I remembered the physical and emotional just fine, it was anything else. Oh, and my younger sister sexually abused me from 8-10 as well, and was just in general enormously physically abusive. She once put her hands around my neck and slammed my head against the wall. This was "normal sibling rivalry" according to my mother. stare

When I was 20, I met a guy online. We ended up meeting at my friend's house in another state. He raped me that first night. crying He asked, "Do you want to go all the way?" I said "NO" and well...that didn't seem to matter. Thus followed six weeks of more utter living hell, including having to go with him to his state.

Thankfully, school broke that up, and I finally realized that what he did was awful, abusive, and he should be in jail right now. Sadly, I don't think he is. [Although he does have a criminal record. stare That was splendid to learn.] Also...my friend who I visited at the beginning kind of SA'ed me. In weird, ******** up ways. So it was hard to tell. But easier to deal with.

So...yeah. Like I said, I'm a LOT better than I was. I don't really have flashbacks anymore, the memories don't intrude as much, I hardly get nightmares...but my startle response is through the roof, and well...yeah. sad


"They rip you to shreds, make you feel useless. You never forget, those ******** stay in your head."
[The Raveonettes--"Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)"]