Suites, I'm drunk but depressed, spare a moment?

[AquilaLiberum]

Ok. So I have pretty much no problem telling you guys that I am about to turn 21 and am a virgin. I have only met one girl who I wanted to do that with, and she and I broke up before I had a chance, (I wanted to make sure we were on a firm footing etc). So I used to have a problem with this, but I'm kind of ok with it now. However, the one thing that dicks me off is that everyone else in my house (besides Gerard who buggered off back to his parents house for the summer) has sex ALL THE ******** TIME. And knowing that isn't the worst part. Tonight, it's my friend's birthday so we're all sitting drinking and talking and the topic of sex comes up (surprise surprise). But the more I think about it, sex seems to be the focus of conversation in our house and it makes me ******** sick. Not only because it means I can't contribute to the conversation, but because some of my housemates seem to think that no-one would be together if they weren't having sex. I disagree with this to such an extent that I nearly started a row with my friend Gerard the other night, arguing with him that people's personalities are way more important.

Basically Suites, as it's my friend's 21st birthday, I've had 5 tins of cider, 2 glasses of sangria and about 5 shots. I just needed to get this off my chest. I believe in love, I believe in liking a person for more than getting sexual satisfaction out of them. But the way my housemates get on, they think that sex is all there is to it, and it just pisses me off immensley. I'm not in any hurry to lose my virginity, I don't want to have sex just so I can contribute to their conversation, I just don't like how it's the focus of my household. And I'm in for another year of living with these people, what have I got myself into?

Depressed Qui is depressed.

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[PainfullyVivid]

Maybe change the topic to something sex-related that you can talk about?
Several friends and I are virgins, but we still talk about sex and make dirty jokes and s**t. Obviously though we can't really talked about the experience or anything, so maybe try to steer them to a broader topic?

The whole idea that sex is most important seems to be something prevalent in a lot of young adults. They'll grow out of it, most likely, but it doesn't make living with them any easier.

Have you told them how you feel? Maybe just say that some variety would be better or buy games and make them play it.

Or, the trusty solution that I can always suggest, KICK ALL THEIR ASSES. D<

I hope the situation gets better. <3  

[Szen]

Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning. <333
But hell, I've been in a relationship for years and I still get irritated when people can't talk about anything but sex. Sure it's fun, but IT'S NOT THAT INTERESTING at the times when you are not doing it. And I sure as hell don't want to hear about other people's sex lives. XD;;

I'd fix you up with my friend who was just complaining about how she doesn't understand why people are so obsessed with hooking up, except 1) she'd get pissed at me for trying to hook her up, and 2) she's probably too old for you. XD  

[scrub]

Happy 21st smile

I haven't had a girlfriend in years.
The way I see it is that person should be someone you can be open, trust and enjoy each others company.
Snuggling and cuddling is what I'd associate more with a girlfriend than sex, which to me at least, can be recreational instead of emotional (although you should still like them ;D ).

Some guys just like to brag, like the bigger man knows the most, it's a bit egotistical really. A lot will be bullshit if they are drinking razz

Take my friend Danny, who becomes a sexual expert and a connoisseur of fine p***y once he's had a few tins. All of us know he's only been with one girl ever, so we just roll our eyes and try to get him off the subject >_>

Should feel a bit better in the morning I hope! After all alcohol is a depressant.  

[coldheartedangel]

I don't associate sex with a relationship at all. Although, i guess i'm not the best person to ask on the subject >_>;

For me, sex is sex. There can be sex without a relationship, it's pretty common these days xP

Yes sex is fun, but it's not the be all and end all. I mean, i do like sex (hell, who doesn't xD), but it's not the greatest thing about being in a relationship. The greatest part is just knowing that there is someone who cares for you and will always be there for you.

My favorite part of my relationship is waking up in the morning and seeing him sleeping next to me =)  

[Lychee Fruit]

I'm gonna butcher a Betty White quote here. "People who talk about sex all the time are usually the ones who aren't doing a whole lot."

On the opposite end of the spectrum, people for whom there is nothing but sex have got to be the most uninteresting losers on the planet. I mean, what good is a person like that if they suddenly lose the use of their entire body? What about when they're old and ugly? What will you talk about with them? They'll just be hollow shells without anything to talk about. Nobody wants to sit around and listen to an old guy remonisce about sex he had in college.

So forget them them and do your own thing at your own pace.  

[comfylove]

I was about to go off because I thought that you were all, ho-hum poor me I haven't had sex yet and I am twenty-one. BUT YOU WEREN'T THANK GOD. comfy please learn to read the whole thread...please read the whole thread...don't jump to conclusions...lalallala.

ANYWAY. Yeah, I am in the same boat as you: 21 and a virgin. I am planning on saving it for marriage, and who knows when I'll get married lol or if I ever will. I am sure sex is great, but having never touched a man, or a man never touched me, I simply cannot understand completely what I am missing and I don't crave it since I've never had it. So, I can be in a relationship without having sex real well, and have been.

I actually get kinda scared now that no guy will stick around with me because I won't have sex with them until I am married...

I don't really mind when people only talk about sex. I have kind of gotten used to it since my aunt is a strumpet for lack of a better word, and I mean that with the most love and respect. She has had sex with many, many men. Her and I are a lot alike, so she refuses to believe I will be able to hold out until marriage. I actually think she prefers I didn't because she loves to hear raunchy stories.

I personally think it's really cool to know that there are people my age who are also virgins. It's not like we're freaks of nature, or red-headed step children. So, I tip my hat to you, and hope that your friends can think of better topics to talk about other than sex.

YOU COULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT TRUE BLOOD!!! WOOOO!!!!
btw Charlaine's main character--Sookie--is a total babe and she was a virgin until she was 26, and so far she's only had sex with 3 people. PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SOCIETY.



omg i rambled so much  

[AquilaLiberum]

Thanks you guys, I'm now sober and no longer depressed. However, I'm just still a little annoyed that they talk about it and big it up so much that it makes me feel like a loser for not having had any. And normally, I don't really care about sex (playing off Comfy's point about not craving what you haven't tried) but I guess you can understand it'd be irritating for them to practically come up to me and say, "Oh my God this is the best thing ever, I can't believe why you aren't doing it."

Meh, I apologise for my drunken ramblings everyone, I know it's not the most interesting thing you want to hear xd

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[Yaoinaut]

Don't apologise for your ramblings. Sometimes, you just need to get things off your chest. The amount of alcohol you consumed before it means very little. I'm just glad you are no longer depressed.  

[Kosai Avonej]

Dude, don't cast aside that sort of thing for the sake of conversation because it's emotional baggage you dont need on your shoulders for the rest of your life. A few of my friends learned this the hard way, you'll end up learning the same hard way if you go through with it. Just find something else to talk about or outright tell them your tired of the talk in the house only being about who bedded Blanche Deveraux.

/End of response and ancient prime time TV sitcom reference.