Holy Crap; I'm a Senior...

[MiaIkumis#1Fan]

Well, I'm a senior this year, and all I can think of is college. College. College... I'm beginning to hate this word.

I mean, college...

Holy crap.

I'm turning into a complete MESS and a nervous wreck over this whole application process. I'm still narrowing down schools to the 6 I'm going to apply to, and I overheard girls in my homeroom talking about how they've already applied to half of their colleges.

Everywhere I go my classmates are talking about where they're going to school and all the awesome stuff that they can put on their applications, or already have.

I haven't even taken the subject tests I need to apply to certain schools. I haven't volunteered on a weekly basis. I haven't had a part time job. I haven't been involved in any sports. I'm not in the top ten percent of my class. I haven't gone on any summer internships or won national awards like some of my classmates have. My family doesn't have the money for us to go visit schools over the summer. I'm beginning to look back and question what the hell I've been doing in high school for the past three years.

Oh, learning. "Your schoolwork is your full time job." Yeah mom. And while I had to devote all my time studying, I had friends who were balancing ACTUAL jobs, sports, clubs, and the same schoolwork, who still ended up with better grades than me.

My counselor told me my GPA and SAT scores are good, and I've done extracurriculars, but is that really enough to get me into a good college? Is it?

I'm so scared that no where will take me except the local college that takes just about everyone who applies, and I'll be stuck on this island my entire life. I'll disappoint my family, who so desperately want me to attend some fabulous place like MIT (which, I am, applying to by the way, but it's not like I've got a chance in hell). And if not, my dream school, the arts college I fell in love with junior year, will either a) hate my portfolio pieces or b) I won't even get all of them done in time.

I'll get stuck at UH. I'll disappoint my family. I'll disappoint the mother and father who worked so hard so I could attend a good high school and go to the good college they never had the chance to attend. Mom wasn't "talented", like I supposedly am. Dad's parent's didn't care about sending him to college like mine do. I have both of these, but is it really enough?

I wish I was like my boyfriend who impressed that artist this past summer... his seat at the college he wants to go to is nearly guaranteed now. He doesn't have to worry about admissions as much as me, who has no idea where I want to go and it's already almost the end of September. The first quarter is over in just two weeks...

I can't take this pressure. I can barely handle physics and calculus and history, which I still have homework for that needs to be done for tomorrow's afternoon class.

And damn it, after four years I still can't pass the swimming requirement for PE for graduation. I'll be the first student in the history of the school not to graduate because I can't pass the swim test in PE.

I'm supposed to get the letter I wrote to myself as a freshmen this year. It's the letter I wrote about how scared I was because I had no friends and all the classes were so hard and I felt like I was going to have an asthma attack all the time.

Well, three years later and I've got some friends now and I passed the classes freshmen year and I haven't died of asthma.

If only I didn't feel so behind my friends, if only I had the confidence I could pass the classes I'm in this year, and if only the tight feeling in my chest would go away...  

[MiaIkumis#1Fan]

Well, I looked at my unofficial grades for this quarter, and I'm a bit relieved now.

My grades in art, competitive math, and english are all As. My AP calc grade is a B- and so is my Honors Hawaiian history grade. As for Honors physics... er... it's a D+ right now... but the lab report I turned in should bring it up to a C, plus I've got a retest tomorrow... Actually, I've got tests in all of those classes except art and comp. math. As long as I don't majorly screw up any of them, I should be fine.

As for a list of colleges, I finally picked myself up, got in gear, and narrowed my list of choices:

- Otis College of Art and Design (California)
- MIT (Massachusetts)
- Carnegie Mellon (Pennsylvania)
- Rice University (Texas)
- Pratt Institute (New York)

Plus the local state college pretty much ANYONE who applies in state gets into. I'm also thinking of adding one or two more on the west coast, just to even the playing field, but I think I'm good for now.

I'm all registered on common app, and thanks to B_____, my friend from math team, I'm slowly processing everything I need to fill out.

There's a bunch of essay stuff I need to do, and since fall break is coming up on Wednesday I'm planning on doing it then, as well as working on my portfolio...

Oh, and as for swimming lessons, I've done my first three, and I'm almost totally over my fear... next three lessons in November will be on the actual strokes and stuff I need to learn.

Well, I should probably get back to working on college stuff and homework. After all, I've got class tomorrow.  

[flauterfli]

You have a great chance of getting in!
Seriously, don't stress about it. =]
You'll do fine!
Just appreciate your gifts:
supportive parents
private schools on your list? lucky!
art, art! just work hard on it and you'll get in
mathematics? that is a rarity. appreciate it!
(for someone unofficially disabled in math, I envy you)
a good score on the SATs!
a nice GPA and other activities
contrary to apparent popular belief, that's not so easy to pull off.

Many colleges will definitely want you!
If you get rejected, just think: oh, well. I'm not a good fit for the college and maybe there's just way too much competition this term. That's fine. It doesn't mean I won't get into another one, even a better one for me.

Now look at me, dear:
under 3.6 GPA =/
limited school involvement until junior year
painfully mediocre at everything (I do try hard!)
parents flip at the mention of private schools
or any school not within a 10 mile radius of them
parents would probably prefer I be stuck at a community college
"you're too involved in school!"
"sports are a waste of time and money!"
yeah...

 

[Lady Kira X]

I never had the grades or will to apply for college.
My parents wanted me to go.. but they never really pushed it on me or cared much either way.

So I never went..
Dunno if I ever will. x.x;


I wish you luck..
Hopefully, you'll get into the school of your choice.

Edittt: Btw.. where the hell do you live that requires you to take a swimming test to graduate? What the s**t is that nonsense.  

[viper_353]

Well, I'm in my grad year, and I dont know anyone right now who's applied for colleges--although I know that it's definatley about the right time to be looking for scholarships. (which don't neccesarily require you to be the smartest in your class!!)
Something I'd just like to point out is that a community college is a good place to start out--take some transferable courses. Get on your feet before you have to go off to a university, because at least at home you have a house to stay at and don't need to worry about food and board costs!!
And also, sure looking at it now you might think that you don't have anything colleges would want, but look deeper! ANY volunteering you did is good! You're taking CALCULUS? GOOD!!
Oftentimes, (or at least where I am,) universitys don't even GET your grades for that course until after you apply. And you can CHOOSE whether or not to let them see it; a lot of them just LOOK at the fact that you've taken the course! And if you decide to retake it once you get there, that's a likely 5.0....It looks good!! You have a lot to offer!!! And chances are you'll get into a university that fits you!! talking to a school counselor as soon as you can is a good idea....they will definatley get you started on the whole applying thing!! Don't sweat over it smile You'll do great!!  

[flauterfli]

I totally missed the swimming part.
What the crap?! D:
I'm on (varsity) swim team
so I know lots of people just plain suck at swimming.
SO WHAT THE CRAP? DDD: