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 Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 3:59 pm
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 〚 ┤| 𝕊𝕪𝕪 𝕁. 𝕊𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕦 |├ 〛
⫸〚 𝔸 ⎚ ℝᵃᵑᵏ 〛〚 𝕂ᵒᵑᵢᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵃᵗʰᵉʳ 〛〚 𝕊ᵘᵢᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 𝔻ᵒᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵘᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 ℍᵞᵒᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛
╾━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╼
Syy shook his head a bit, his hair dusting the floor, before he turned over to face the couch cushion It’s just one more thing I don’t know how to handle. he wrapped his arms around himself, closing his eyes ...I wish Inka would come back. even with Aika in the apartment, he felt like an outsider. An invader. Rubbing his upper arm and stretching one leg out, Syy pressed his eyes closed and tried to push his insecurities back. But it was like rubbing your eyes after staring at a bright light. His feelings, the loneliness, Inka’s anger, the time he’d lost with Minowa. The years were so different for him than for them. Six years for them. Five for him, plus the two years he couldn’t remember. The time before whatever had happened to him. Seven years, lost, but none of it felt like seven years. It was like he had closed his eyes and then when he opened them again, the world had moved too fast. There were flickers of memory but nothing else. Syy reached up and covered his ears, forcing one hand between his ear and the cushion as his other hand pressed hard on the other Stop it! none of this would be helpful. None of it would be acceptable. Aika lifted her head off the floor to whine but he didn’t hear her, his eyes shut even though the cushion he faced would hide everything from view anyway. Eventually, the silence that he’d created matched the silence in his mind and he drifted off again, hands still covering his ears.
[Chakra and Stamina Increase: 14.6 C : 10.03 S ]
『 ᴄ ⁷⁹⁰.⁰ ⋮ s ⁵⁴¹.⁶ 』 『⫸𝕀 have been changed by what was done to 𝕞ebut 𝕀 will not be 𝕣educed by it⫸』 |
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 3:43 pm
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〚 ┤| 𝕊𝕪𝕪 𝕁. 𝕊𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕦 |├ 〛
⫸〚 𝔸 ⎚ ℝᵃᵑᵏ 〛〚 𝕂ᵒᵑᵢᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵃᵗʰᵉʳ 〛〚 𝕊ᵘᵢᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 𝔻ᵒᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵘᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 ℍᵞᵒᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛
╾━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╼
While he hadn’t drifted too deeply into sleep, the nightmares still came for Syy. He was standing in the space he’d been kept captive, his feet tangled in roots up to his ankles. But instead of fear and insanity, he felt calm. Accepting. He wanted to scream. Roots were woven over his mouth, though, and he could only stand and wait. It was the waiting that was driving the feeling of wanting to scream. Because he knew. He could wait and wait and wait. But no one would come. A sudden spike of ice down his spine and he opened his eyes to the cushion of Inka’s sofa. Aika whined behind him, her nose pressing cold into his neck Thank the old gods. he pulled his hands away from his ears and rolled over to cradle Aika’s muzzle “Good girl.” Syy whispered into her nose, earning himself an affectionate lick across his nose. Sitting up, he dragged his fingers through his hair before rubbing some sleep from his eyes. Aika rested her head in his lap, the heavy weight comforting, and he rubbed her ears softly as her tail thumped on the floor. Syy might have slept a bit but it appeared that he was still alone in the apartment. He itched to do something, anything. What was making him so restless?
[Chakra and Stamina Increase: 15.8 C : 10.9 S ]
Moving around the apartment, Syy started to snoop a bit but only in the common areas. He looked in the kitchen cupboards, noticing the foods that Minowa would be eating and the foods that Inka would prefer. He opened one cupboard and was immediately hit with the smell of tea, causing him to jerk back and blink Definitely Inka’s. he examined the different teas, noticing they were all of the green tea variety. It wasn’t that Syy didn’t like tea, as was apparently assumed. He just didn’t like green tea. Now if Inka had a black tea...that would be a different ball game. But no such luck. He closed the cupboard, moving to the fridge and examining the different little notes all over the door. Pulling a drawer out, he found sticky notes and a pen Oh. Address. his handwriting had deteriorated over the years but he was able to carefully write out the address of the studio he had. With equal care, he stuck the note to the fridge before starting another note that said he had placed a spare key in the drawer with the sticky notes for Minowa and Inka to use. Pausing thoughtfully, he added that they could use the apartment whenever, even if he wasn’t there. Sticking that to the door just below the first note, he opened the fridge to see what fresh foods were there. Fruits, veggies, leftovers, the dumplings he had brought. Some juice. Closing the door, he turned to crouch near the sink, opening the cupboard doors underneath Cleaning supplies. he glanced over his shoulder at Aika, who was sitting in the hall. Her tail wagging, sending small clouds of dust and hair from her fur ...right. he reached under the cupboard.
[Chakra and Stamina Increase: 15.8 C : 10.9 S ]
Wiping down the kitchen counter with a rag, Syy dipped the rag into a small bucket of soapy water before moving on to the other side of the sink. Once done, he rinsed the rag in the sink and wiped the counters clean of soap. Aika had joined him, watching the soap bubbles disappear , her golden orange eyes wide. Once he had finished wiping down the surfaces, Syy shooed Aika out of the kitchen and, finding a mop in the hall closet, moped the kitchen of her fur and paw prints. Deciding that the mop was a toy and that Syy was now engaged in a game, Aika did a play bow which forced him to hide the mop behind his back “Aika, noo.” he warned but her tail wagging only intensified “We’ll go run later.” he promised and she sighed and turned to jump over the back of the couch, turning awkward circles to sit. Head resting on the back of the couch, she watched him sweep the dining and living room before mopping. His bare feet padded quietly as he moved down the hall, past Minowa’s room, and past Inka’s room. He paused only to momentarily before moving back to the kitchen to rinse out the mop. Leaving it to dry in the sink, Syy took the cleaning supplies and went into Inka’s room, past the bed and the desk and into the bathroom. He took his time, careful to remove the hairs that had fallen when he was showering that morning, and soon it was very clean. Rinsing his hands, Syy went to the bed and straightened the sheets, pulling the cover up and shaking out the pillows before setting them back. Absently, he ran a hand over the pillow Inka had slept on the other night before sitting on that side of the bed.
[Chakra and Stamina Increase: 15.8 C : 10.9 S ]
He took the pillow up and brought it to his chest, holding it for a moment as he breathed in the smell. Then he came to his senses and Syy quickly stood, shaking the pillow out and putting it back, smoothing the bed as well. He grabbed the cleaning supplies and left, closing the door securely behind him, his back to the door. Aika whined from the couch. Syy closed his eyes and then pushed off I don’t know how much longer I can stay here. he swallowed as he set the cleaning supplies back under the sink I might do something we both regret. he swallowed and walked back over to Aika, bending over to bury his face in her fur. Aika, I’m an idiot. he thought, wrapping his arms around her, his ears red Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot. As Aika wiggled free and danced around him, Syy just kind of slumped over the back of the couch to bury his face in his hands. Once he was better under control of his emotions, he straightened up and fixed the couch “Okay, Aika.” he sighed, still feeling the heat in his stomach “Let’s go run.” if he was going to have a civil conversation with Inka later, he would need to burn off this...energy. Using another sticky note, would he have to replace them?, Syy left a note on the fridge below the others that said he would be back soon and had gone to take Aika for a run in the forest. He pocketed Minowa's key, since the chances were high that he would be returning before anyone was back again, and slipped on his hard-soled socks as Aika bounced in excitement. Closing the door and locking it behind him, he and Aika trotted down the stairs and went to the forest for a quick run.
[Chakra and Stamina Increase: 15.8 C : 10.9 S ]
[Chakra and Stamina Increase Total: 63.2 C : 43.6 S]
[Exits….to the Forests]
『 ᴄ ⁷⁹⁰.⁰ ⋮ s ⁵⁴¹.⁶ 』 『⫸𝕀 have been changed by what was done to 𝕞ebut 𝕀 will not be 𝕣educed by it⫸』 |
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 8:02 pm
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〚 ┤| 𝕊𝕪𝕪 𝕁. 𝕊𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕦 |├ 〛
⫸〚 𝔸 ⎚ ℝᵃᵑᵏ 〛〚 𝕂ᵒᵑᵢᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵃᵗʰᵉʳ 〛〚 𝕊ᵘᵢᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 𝔻ᵒᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵘᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛〚 ℍᵞᵒᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛
╾━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╼
Using Minowa's key, Syy pushed the door to the apartment open and let Aika in first, holding the door with his foot and the dumplings and large bowl in his hands. He then used his foot to close the door as well, setting the bowl down to lock it behind him as Aika made her way to the kitchen. Using a toe to push off his socks, now covered in grass stains, he padded barefoot into the kitchen to where Aika sat and waited politely. Snorting at her patience, partly because he knew that she was only being polite because she was tired from the run, Syy set the bowl down and carefully transferred one giant dumpling to the bowl. He sat at the table with his own regular sized dumplings and the other two giant dumplings, feeling the weight of the silent apartment as Aika ate noisily in the kitchen. His own dumplings were eaten with his hands, unashamedly, taking bites from them with vigor. At least his stay in the hospital had helped with the eating issues he had. Aika was licking her bowl clean and came to beg at his side as he ate, her eyes big and bright.
Once he had finished his own, Syy refilled Aika's bowl with another of the giant dumplings, scooping the remains of his along with them. As she chowed down, he rinsed his hands in the sink Now what... he wondered, going to sit back at the table and watch Aika finish her second dumpling. He smiled, resting his chin in his hand "Aika...I am so restless."『 ᴄ ⁹¹⁶.⁴ ⋮ s ⁶²⁸.⁸ 』 『⫸𝕀 have been changed by what was done to 𝕞ebut 𝕀 will not be 𝕣educed by it⫸』 |
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2021 5:08 pm
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2022 7:56 pm
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〚 𝔸 ⎚ ℝᵃᵑᵏ 〛〚 𝕂ᵒᵑᵢᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵃᵗʰᵉʳ 〛〚 𝕊 - 𝔻 - 𝔽 〛〚 ℍᵞᵒᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸╾━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╼
Sypher was half way through the door when Aika flung herself at him, her tail wagging so hard she nearly knocked herself sideways. As it was, Syy managed to twist so that they fell into the apartment rather than on the stairwell and used his foot to shut the door "Aika, hello love, yes, good girl." he chuckled, rubbing her jowls as she whined and licked at his face. There was no guessing, no wondering, about how much Aika loved him. She showed it every day. Finally managing to sit up and move Aika to lay belly up in his lap, he let out a soft sigh I feel...exhausted. the emotional events at the river had taken their toll on him, even if he hadn't shown it to Inka. Aika sat up, flipping out of his lap, to put her head on his shoulder I- he curled his knees up to his chest, reaching out to wrap his arms around Aika, burying his face in her fur. His chest hurt. No. Not his chest. His heart hurt. And his head.
It was going to be fine. They had spoken. At least, they had made steps. Inka wanted to try, Syy wanted to try but
I flirted with another man
The words were like a bad flavor, something spoiled and rising at the back of his throat like a stone. He hadn't been bothered about it until he was alone. Until it was all he could think about. His fingers dug into Aika's fur and he took another breath but it was like breathing through a wet sack. Smothering him. Syy lifted his head to try and breath better but realized it wasn't the air or Aika's fur. Aika whined harder as he realized his hands were shaking, his heart racing Stop stop stop he felt his vision narrowing and suddenly Aika was pushing him down, laying on top of him with her head nested under his chin. His hands came up to his face, realizing he was crying and he pressed the heal of his palms into his eyes. Stop why did it hurt? He wanted it to stop. Aika pushed her nose at his hands, trying to get them away from his face, acting on her instinct to stop his self-harm. Syy lifted his hands, letting them brush over her snout, the tears coming harder and his chest ached. Something was pressing into it. The ring.
The urge came over him so violently that he could barely stop himself. If Aika hadn't been on his chest...it was several more minutes until Aika was able to let him sit up. She moved off but stayed close to his side as he slowly sat up, still trembling, her eyes on him for any sign. Syy took the ring out, keeping it on the chain, and just held it in his palm for a moment.
I flirted with another man
His hand spasmed shut in anger, nails biting his palm and the iron of blood set Aika whining again and climbing into his lap. Syy brought the clenched fist to his forehead, eyes squeezed shut, ignoring Aika despite her increasing distress. His other hand came up and nails dug into his scalp, fighting to push the anger back down into his chest, into the dark place he kept secret in his mind. It was getting harder and harder. But it's not his fault. It's not. It's not. It's not. he repeated it over and over in his mind, burying the first thought with this one. His face hurt from the tracks that tears still cut down his cheeks, and he could feel the blood from his clenched fist dripping down his wrist. Aika had finally had enough of him, however, and she pushed herself in front of him, knocking his arms away from his face and preventing him from bringing them up. He knocked the back of his head into the wall, gently though, "It's not anyone's fault." he whispered, feeling exhausted and out of breath. Aika rumbled in her chest, not quite a growl, but her golden wolf eyes gave him a look that said he would be in serious trouble if he tried anything. He gave her a tremulous smile "I should shower." he finally let his fist relax and realized he'd cut his hand quite badly, the ring and part of the chain now discolored "And clean up." Standing, still a bit shaky but able to move, he went to the shower with Aika close behind.
Using his towel to rub dry his hair, Syy sat on the floor in a pair of loose pants and socks, looking at the books and scrolls he'd managed to accumulate in the short time he had been in Konohagakure. The academy was well stocked, but some of what he wanted to read didn't appear to be there. Aika was laying down behind him, providing a bit of support, and he ruffled her ears absently. His hand was bandaged, the palm wrapped neatly with a clean bandage, and he didn't feel any pain. But...he'd put the ring and it's chain on the counter in his bathroom and hadn't been able to put it back on. He hadn't even been able to pick it back up after cleaning it. He'd be fine. He had to be. Reaching forward, he picked up one of the lighter subject books on the local mythology of the village hidden in leaves.
『 ᴄ ⁹¹⁶.⁴ ⋮ s ⁶²⁸.⁸ 』
『I want to keep this life』
『but it's killing me . . .』
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2022 9:35 am
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〚 𝔸 ⎚ ℝᵃᵑᵏ 〛〚 𝕂ᵒᵑᵢᵑ 〛〚 𝔽ᵃᵗʰᵉʳ 〛〚 𝕊 - 𝔻 - 𝔽 〛〚 ℍᵞᵒᵘᵗᵒᵑ 〛⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸⫸╾━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╼
Aika twitched in her sleep, head resting in Syy's lap with his hand on her head gently petting her, her paws running. He glanced at her, his thumb holding the page open as he watched her sleep. The only thing calmer than watching Aika sleep was watching water rushing by and it made him smile wearily I'm exhausted. And these books aren't helping. he set his book down and the movement woke Aika who sat up, her ears perked, tongue popping out to pant in his face "Oh, stinky. Aika, back." she grinned and lunged forward, licking his face and knocking him over. They wrestled for a few minutes before Aika made a 'hungry' whine and started dancing around in circles. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he sighed with a grin "All right. Let's go find something to eat." he moved to his knees and stood, going to get a shirt and jacket. He paused as he passed the bathroom.
The ring still sat in the small dish by the sink. He reached for it then stopped. Could he carry it's weight again? It had been barely anything before and now it felt like a promise and a chain. Aika whined at his side and he smiled at her, ruffling her ears before closing the bathroom door "Let's go, Aika. Dumpling time." she let out a happy howl and Syy followed her out, locking the apartment up.
{exits to...somewhere}
『 ᴄ ⁹¹⁶.⁴ ⋮ s ⁶²⁸.⁸ 』
『I want to keep this life』
『but it's killing me . . .』
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