Today Might have been the worst day of my life. My crush, Sam, was talking to me and my friends when Erika walked up. She put her arms around his shoulder and I automatically felt jealous. I frowned on the inside, but bottled up my feelings and what I wanted to say to wait and ask for help from fellow girls.
Anyways, later in English, my friend told me my mascara was smeared a little and I wondered if I actually did cry earlier. I excused myself to the bathroom and fixed my hair and make up. The bathrooms were never crowded, so I started to say stuff to myself since it happen to be empty.
Just to explain, I've had past boy problems that had ended in a mess and my heart to be mended. This boy, Joey, I was in total love with him. He wasn't a jerk or anything. He was literally perfect. Smarts, athletic, great smile, always happy, the whole package. The only thing was that I was unnoticeable until two weeks ago. Which isn't good for your 7th week of 7th grade. I could have never told him how I felt. At the end of sixth grade after the pool party, I meant to tell him. Then I saw how many girls actually liked him and realized that I was at the end of the line, the last to realize that you have to be popular to be with him. Heartbroken, I left the pool with no expression on my face. Like I said earlier, I keep my feelings inside. I haven't been the same since. I changed and I never trusted to fall in love again. It's my greatest fear.Then there was Sam.
Sam had just moved from Denver two days before school. He had seemed like the weirdest guy until my friend introduced me to him. Turns out, he was really similar to the way I was. I soon got to know him and we became friends. Not the kind you would invite to a party yet, but not someone you would ignore.I'm too nervous to hug him yet, but outgoing enough that I could hide my love for him in a fit of giggles and a poke fight. I thought that we could have maybe been together until this morning when Erika showed up. As soon as I saw her arm around his shoulder, I ignored what all of my friends-and Sam- were saying and the day flew by without me noticing, much less caring.
Over the years, I've learned to never, I repeat, never tell my friends who I liked. Now I don't care, but I still have only told two very, very trustful people. Neither of them knew who he was, so that sort of helped. But they're not the problem. The problem is having to deal with my friends asking me over and over who I like. I can never trust to tell them because I don't know them that well. Also because they actually know who Sam is.
Let me explain who Erika is. She is a good girl, but much of a player. She dates as many boys as possible and breaks their hearts like they don't matter. She just broke up with her fourth boyfriend this year yesterday. Who knows when she'll date someone else again? Anyway, she's sort of my friend. She's nice and, every guy is saying this, hot. She has looks and the act. She has a lot of guy friends, so that helps. But I hate it when she takes someone's crush right from under their noses. I never thought that that person would care, but now I know how they feel. Hopefully Sam really does like me...=[ But I seriously doubt that.
Anyways, later in English, my friend told me my mascara was smeared a little and I wondered if I actually did cry earlier. I excused myself to the bathroom and fixed my hair and make up. The bathrooms were never crowded, so I started to say stuff to myself since it happen to be empty.
Just to explain, I've had past boy problems that had ended in a mess and my heart to be mended. This boy, Joey, I was in total love with him. He wasn't a jerk or anything. He was literally perfect. Smarts, athletic, great smile, always happy, the whole package. The only thing was that I was unnoticeable until two weeks ago. Which isn't good for your 7th week of 7th grade. I could have never told him how I felt. At the end of sixth grade after the pool party, I meant to tell him. Then I saw how many girls actually liked him and realized that I was at the end of the line, the last to realize that you have to be popular to be with him. Heartbroken, I left the pool with no expression on my face. Like I said earlier, I keep my feelings inside. I haven't been the same since. I changed and I never trusted to fall in love again. It's my greatest fear.Then there was Sam.
Sam had just moved from Denver two days before school. He had seemed like the weirdest guy until my friend introduced me to him. Turns out, he was really similar to the way I was. I soon got to know him and we became friends. Not the kind you would invite to a party yet, but not someone you would ignore.I'm too nervous to hug him yet, but outgoing enough that I could hide my love for him in a fit of giggles and a poke fight. I thought that we could have maybe been together until this morning when Erika showed up. As soon as I saw her arm around his shoulder, I ignored what all of my friends-and Sam- were saying and the day flew by without me noticing, much less caring.
Over the years, I've learned to never, I repeat, never tell my friends who I liked. Now I don't care, but I still have only told two very, very trustful people. Neither of them knew who he was, so that sort of helped. But they're not the problem. The problem is having to deal with my friends asking me over and over who I like. I can never trust to tell them because I don't know them that well. Also because they actually know who Sam is.
Let me explain who Erika is. She is a good girl, but much of a player. She dates as many boys as possible and breaks their hearts like they don't matter. She just broke up with her fourth boyfriend this year yesterday. Who knows when she'll date someone else again? Anyway, she's sort of my friend. She's nice and, every guy is saying this, hot. She has looks and the act. She has a lot of guy friends, so that helps. But I hate it when she takes someone's crush right from under their noses. I never thought that that person would care, but now I know how they feel. Hopefully Sam really does like me...=[ But I seriously doubt that.
