*slams head against desk repeatedly*

[Le Sapphoux]

I. Am. A. Guy. I. Am. A. Guy. I... am... a... GUY.
Why don't you get it? crying I'm sorry, but I don't want to be a girl and I never have! You got to have me grow up as a little girl, you forced dresses on me, be happy for all that! But now I've been struggling for years and years with this indescribable feeling of being not what I happened to be born as.
And don't give me the religion talk. Don't liken it to stealing or lying. Just because those are "forgivable sins". Do you know how much it hurts to say that what I feel inside is wrong like stealing and lying?
You keep cutting me off. You keep putting in your opinion. You keep trying to disregard what I KNOW I feel! You don't know me, and you haven't for years! You don't know that I only currently dress feminine in order to FIT IN. To make YOU happy. To make PEOPLE happy. I HATE dressing girly. I HATE shopping for girl clothes. It's probably the reason I always get close to CRYING when I go shopping for clothes... They don't FEEL right and they never have. I don't want skirts or dresses or figure accenting jeans or any of that. I don't... I can't...
Stop saying you accept it when you clearly don't...
*wipes away tears*  

[Just Call Me Shan]

Need a hug? We can also switch bodies if you want. :/

 

[Le Sapphoux]

shan-fox

Need a hug? We can also switch bodies if you want. :/

*sniffles and clings to your leg* That sounds good, though my body's not very feminine looking so you'd probably get the short end of the stick, there :[ Raaaahhhhhhh, why does it have to be so difficullltttttt... I don't give a damn what strangers say or think about it, if they don't agree... But it's so hard to explain it to my own mother... v_v; *pout*  

[Just Call Me Shan]

*pats your head* Don't worry about it, most of my friends say I don't look girly in the slightest. sweatdrop I've only told you Guildies and my closest friend.

 

[Le Sapphoux]

*smirks* It's infuriating, isn't it? That frustration of "AHHHH WHAT IS THIS, THIS IS NOT WHAT IT SHOULD BE." :[ I don't really know what compelled me to tell my mother last week-ish. I knew it wouldn't really go down well x_x  

[ll ChemicalCollision ll]

-hugs-
-pets a bit-
I'm sorry Sappho

If it makes you feel any better I still think you're a sexy man  

[Simply Berry]

My sexy man v_v

 

[ll ChemicalCollision ll]

Simply Berry

My sexy man v_v

Yes Berry I know
I wasn't implying anything I'm sorry!  

[Simply Berry]

ll ChemicalCollision ll

Simply Berry

My sexy man v_v

Yes Berry I know
I wasn't implying anything I'm sorry!

I'm not mad at you or anythingggg~ D:
I'm just overly possessive  

[Darkness Dragons Revenge]

So (just to get this straight) you "were a girl" and now your a boy?

What so bad about that? Its ok. If you say you are a guy, then so be it! Whats wrong with it?

They Say God doesn't love you if your gay. Of course He loves you. If God didn't love you, he wouldnt make you the way you are.  

[Le Sapphoux]

Darkness Dragons Revenge

So (just to get this straight) you "were a girl" and now your a boy?

What so bad about that? Its ok. If you say you are a guy, then so be it! Whats wrong with it?

They Say God doesn't love you if your gay. Of course He loves you. If God didn't love you, he wouldnt make you the way you are.

I never was a girl. Perhaps biologically. I was born with female sex organs, yes. But I've always been male. Ever since I was a small child.

Back when I wrote this thread (notice that it was posted in October of 2010), it was 100% aimed at my mother. And still is. This wasn't aimed at the guild people, and the people who commented earlier knew exactly what I was talking about because they're involved in my life. My mom used religion against me to try and "change me back." Didn't work.

But since then, things have improved slightly. I'm more talkative about what I'm going through and I call my mother out when she starts to make me feel bad. I force her to confront it. I dress like a guy, cut my hair like a guy, walk and talk like a guy... And have people starting to refer to me with male pronouns (my mom is a college professor and one of her students asked if I was her son). I bind my chest, wear baggy clothes to hid my hips, stopped shaving my legs, and go out to the beach in swim trunks and a t-shirt. I'm 100% male, and my lack of male sex organs does not make me any less of a man.

So yeah, thanks for the encouraging words, but... I'm moving on with my life, now. smile

(Also, I'm not a part of this guild anymore. Lawl.)