I am so... confused x_X

[Simply Berry]

This relationship is... right, right?
I woke up and couldn't shake this weird... feeling.
Like.. like I'm going against what my mother wants for me x_x
I should be leading my own life.... right?
I'm just... looking to the future, and the fact that someday I'll have to tell her about.. us.. x_x and it'll mess up such a good relationship I don't even... :[
I don't know if I can butt heads against my mother
I don't really think I'm strong enough..
As much as she tries to say she'd be okay with it I know she won't be.. at all
It would create such an awkward situation for my family and I don't even...
But at the same time.. keeping something so serious from her is driving me off the wall v__v;;
I don't really know what to do anymore
I'm happy, yes.. but those dark clouds just keep moving closer and closer and I don't know if I'm ready for such a storm...

 

[Dagger1819]

You Miss Berry have to do what's right for you and not worry so much about your family. o_o Some of em might not be happy, but others I'm sure won't mind....As long as you don't make out in front of them. biggrin  

[Simply Berry]

It's not even people.. D;
I could care less what people think
Or my friends, really
Just that one person that birthed me
I would be so messed up if she abandoned me or treated me different for something like this x__X;
I don't know what to doooo ;-;
What do you do when the parent doesn't approve of the relationship?
That's like the biggest thing, other than friends not approving
Which.. they do.. but I don't think they suspect it'll last
I don't know either, really..
I should probably just live in the now
But why do that when I could end up hurting everyone, including myself, in the end x__x
I wish lesbian/gay relationships weren't such a big deal..
This shouldn't even be an issue
*rambles* ....

 

[Dagger1819]

Simply Berry

It's not even people.. D;
I could care less what people think
Or my friends, really
Just that one person that birthed me
I would be so messed up if she abandoned me or treated me different for something like this x__X;
I don't know what to doooo ;-;
What do you do when the parent doesn't approve of the relationship?
That's like the biggest thing, other than friends not approving
Which.. they do.. but I don't think they suspect it'll last
I don't know either, really..
I should probably just live in the now
But why do that when I could end up hurting everyone, including myself, in the end x__x
I wish lesbian/gay relationships weren't such a big deal..
This shouldn't even be an issue
*rambles* ....

I don't see them as a big deal. neutral But that's how I was raised, with a "Who cares? They're just people" Sorta attitude. Berry. You gotta be true to yourself. Your mom may not like it, but there is nothing you could do about that, but give her time to get used to the idea. neutral  

[Simply Berry]

*kicks self in the gut*
I mean really?
Would she be happier if I were with some abusive gang-banger from Compton just cause he's MALE D;
That's not cool at all
But if that's her wishes...
Would she rather I die alone? v_v
Is that what I'm destined for?
I feel like sooner or later I'll have to choose one of the other
My mom or.. my ginger
And that's not faaaair :[
I can't handle being in such a position...
And even if I DO tell her, I'm sure she'll think it's just a 'phase'
Something I need to get out of my system before I marry that token guy she wants me to marry v___v;;
Maybe I'll just end up being alone.. I won't hurt anyone that way, right?
As much as that's a terrifying fear of mine

 

[Simply Berry]

Dagger1819

Simply Berry

It's not even people.. D;
I could care less what people think
Or my friends, really
Just that one person that birthed me
I would be so messed up if she abandoned me or treated me different for something like this x__X;
I don't know what to doooo ;-;
What do you do when the parent doesn't approve of the relationship?
That's like the biggest thing, other than friends not approving
Which.. they do.. but I don't think they suspect it'll last
I don't know either, really..
I should probably just live in the now
But why do that when I could end up hurting everyone, including myself, in the end x__x
I wish lesbian/gay relationships weren't such a big deal..
This shouldn't even be an issue
*rambles* ....

I don't see them as a big deal. neutral But that's how I was raised, with a "Who cares? They're just people" Sorta attitude. Berry. You gotta be true to yourself. Your mom may not like it, but there is nothing you could do about that, but give her time to get used to the idea. neutral

I don't know if she ever will... :[

 

[Dagger1819]

Simply Berry

*kicks self in the gut*
I mean really?
Would she be happier if I were with some abusive gang-banger from Compton just cause he's MALE D;
That's not cool at all
But if that's her wishes...
Would she rather I die alone? v_v
Is that what I'm destined for?
I feel like sooner or later I'll have to choose one of the other
My mom or.. my ginger
And that's not faaaair :[
I can't handle being in such a position...
And even if I DO tell her, I'm sure she'll think it's just a 'phase'
Something I need to get out of my system before I marry that token guy she wants me to marry v___v;;
Maybe I'll just end up being alone.. I won't hurt anyone that way, right?
As much as that's a terrifying fear of mine

Well if you're with Your Ginger for long enough, she may learn it's not a phase. o_o Who knows those two may even bond a little bit. *shrug* People can surprise you, sometimes.  

[Simply Berry]

Dagger1819

Simply Berry

*kicks self in the gut*
I mean really?
Would she be happier if I were with some abusive gang-banger from Compton just cause he's MALE D;
That's not cool at all
But if that's her wishes...
Would she rather I die alone? v_v
Is that what I'm destined for?
I feel like sooner or later I'll have to choose one of the other
My mom or.. my ginger
And that's not faaaair :[
I can't handle being in such a position...
And even if I DO tell her, I'm sure she'll think it's just a 'phase'
Something I need to get out of my system before I marry that token guy she wants me to marry v___v;;
Maybe I'll just end up being alone.. I won't hurt anyone that way, right?
As much as that's a terrifying fear of mine

Well if you're with Your Ginger for long enough, she may learn it's not a phase. o_o Who knows those two may even bond a little bit. *shrug* People can surprise you, sometimes.

*clings to* I hope you're right Dagz D;

 

[Dagger1819]

Simply Berry

Dagger1819

Simply Berry

*kicks self in the gut*
I mean really?
Would she be happier if I were with some abusive gang-banger from Compton just cause he's MALE D;
That's not cool at all
But if that's her wishes...
Would she rather I die alone? v_v
Is that what I'm destined for?
I feel like sooner or later I'll have to choose one of the other
My mom or.. my ginger
And that's not faaaair :[
I can't handle being in such a position...
And even if I DO tell her, I'm sure she'll think it's just a 'phase'
Something I need to get out of my system before I marry that token guy she wants me to marry v___v;;
Maybe I'll just end up being alone.. I won't hurt anyone that way, right?
As much as that's a terrifying fear of mine

Well if you're with Your Ginger for long enough, she may learn it's not a phase. o_o Who knows those two may even bond a little bit. *shrug* People can surprise you, sometimes.

*clings to* I hope you're right Dagz D;

*pets*  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Honestly, both my parents are/have been aware that you and Sarah are in a relationship >___> I told them...hope you don't mind. Obviously they didn't care, and they're 'against' it, too...they just aren't gonna be jerks about what other people think.

I don't think your mother would be so bad about it. I mean, even if she does think it's a phase.

My mother...who I'm talking to about this...says you should just sit down with your mom and don't make it so expedient or harsh sounding, and be as calm as possible even though you're nervous about what your mother will say and do. What's the worst thing your mother could do? D: I don't think she'd REALLY do anything TOO bad to you...but that's just me.

If you wanna clear your head, you should really let her know and JUST her. >>; And try to keep it confidential, if your mom is good at keeping secrets, especially if you don't want the situation to spiral out of control.

 

[Le Sapphoux]

Simply Berry

Maybe I'll just end up being alone.. I won't hurt anyone that way, right?

Just me...

Anyway, if you gotta tell her, start the conversation with, "I have something to say and it's going to make you hate me and disown me." That's what my psychologist told me to start with. Because then she'll know it's something serious, but give her a chance to say, "I'll never do that!" which you can sorta hold her to... It kinda softens the blow when you start it like that because she anticipates something like... murder.

I dunno, my mom doesn't understand my transgenderedness and is pretty much against it, but she hasn't disowned me... Yet. And she knows I like girls and knows I like YOU, even though I didn't tell her that you liked me, too. I dunno :[ People seem to be really against things until someone close to them ends up being that thing they're against...  

[Simply Berry]

I doubt that'd be the case with my mom.. she's really... ... yeah. She's constantly getting on Chad and Laura and thinks Laura is a 'bad influence' on me.. and even when I told her that I never wanted kids she said "That worries me." v_v; She's threatened to kick me out, too. I don't... she has complete control over me at the moment, and that's why I try to never go against her.. she's capable of anything. I dunno.. I've been thinking I should tell her I'm bi.. just to get that one thing out of the way.. but the whole dating a girl thing.. I.. yeah.. Like I said.. I don't want to live under the same household when I tell her that.. but at the same time... x__X; Can I really keep something like that from her for so long? I feel like I'd be betraying her or something. She was already horrified when she found out we were 'married' on facebook and didn't talk to me for like.. a good couple of months! And THAT was all just a joke! I don't... I dunno.. I'm confused. v_v She says she'll support any decision I make, and yet she's constantly raging and frowning over the littlest things. Besides, if I tell her about us, she could very well tell me that I'm not allowed to go back up there. I know it's something she'd do. And if I go against her with THAT... yeah.. I'd be in very dangerous territory.

 

[Simply Berry]

.... *coughs*
I decided to go with my friend's advice and "not tell her until/unless it's necessary to do so" Since right now it's not, and I know she'll react badly, I'll just hold off on it for a while. v_v
Thanks anyway for the advice.