So

[Szen]

I had pretty much the best day ever. All we did was sleep, watch vids, and play games. (Technically, we also did laundry, but since we have a washer and dryer in the house now, it's not a major chore like it was walking to the laundromat.)

So this day and relaxation is quite welcome after all the stress I've had lately. As I may have told you guys, I was working a ridiculous amount of hours, long days and weekends, and it NEVER SEEMED TO END. I kept thinking, okay, after this week, things will be better. But then the next week came bringing more stuff I had to do. DX Mind you, I'm quite happy to be making good money now, but a guy needs a break once in a while.

On top of all of that, we were cleaning, fixing, packing and moving. I took a couple weeks off from working, but it was no vacation, because the whole time I was packing and fixing up the old place. Then the seller of the new house decided to go out of town right when we were ready to close, so we had exactly 2 days once we finally closed to get everything fixed in the new house so that we could move in as we'd scheduled on the last Saturday of the month. Luckily it wasn't a problem to find people to come in on those 2 days. Just they were all in the house at once. XD

So we moved in on that Saturday and afterwards, after carrying so much stuff and walking up and down so many stairs, I felt like I'd been thrown under the moving truck and run over a few times. The next day I could barely move. And Monday I had to start working again. DX Since then we've just been putting things together and away as we get to them. We've still got a living room full of boxes, and we still have some things we need to do before winter. But mostly we're settled in, and we absolutely love it. It's so QUIET here. No constant sirens, no loud drunks outside the window at 3 AM, no blaring horns, no rowhouse neighbors blasting annoying music. It's like heaven.

As if all this wasn't enough excitement for one month, I have also discovered that I have Asperger's. It all started because I took this test by some psychologist and was very surprised to score in the Asperger's range. I never thought that I would have it, so I looked it up and looked at the list of symptoms, and I was like, "I don't do that. I don't do that..." and M's response was, "Are you kidding? Yes, you do." And he pointed out all these things that I didn't really pay attention to. XD So then I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO KNOW and made an appointment at this autism clinic. They wanted all kinds of records from my childhood and stuff, but I didn't have any of that. o_O Regardless, the woman said it was pretty obvious that I have Asperger's, and she explained a lot of stuff to me about it.

Obviously, I don't feel that it has impaired my life at all, and I'm quite happy overall, so I'm not going to do anything different than I've been doing. However, I feel like I've had an epiphany, because the more I learn about Asperger's, the more everything about me makes sense. I've found some discussion groups and such, and I'm amazed to find that there are other people who experience things the same way that I do. My entire life I've been an outsider. I could never connect with anyone, even the people that I loved. Even though they cared, they simply were not on the same wavelength as me. And my whole life I've blamed it on myself, convinced that I'm not a nice person, I'm uncaring, I'm thoughtless, and I CAN'T HELP IT. That was the worst part... that I'd try SO HARD and still no matter what I did, it was the wrong thing. And now I understand why several of my friends, including my best friend, left me. I mean, I still don't understand what it was that I said or did (or didn't say or do) to offend them, but I now understand that I really, honestly did not register that whatever it was was offensive.

This is huge, for me. This is life-changing. I see my life in an entirely different light now. I feel vindicated.

But, now that I understand better, I'm going to make a serious effort to keep the stress in my life to a minimum. Because things that don't mean much of anything to normal people cause a huge amount of stress for me. Of course, sometimes things that cause huge stress for other people are nothing to me too. XD

So there you have it.

TL;DR... I don't give a damn. XD  

[Herr Sinne]

The dungeoun better be unpacked when I get there! D<

I feel bad for you man. Atleast you're in a better place. Am I right? ;D  

[angelfromdown-under]

Glad to see everything is going better for you now ^_^

I actually spent all weekend doing the same thing xD  

[Fallen Angel Lucifer]

I'd just like to say good luck with unpacking. Once that's out of the way and organized hopefully things will smooth out a little more. I swear, my family moved houses years ago and we still haven't finished unpacking the stuff we threw in storage. XD Unpacking feels like it takes forever...or perhaps it's because I'm just lazy.

It sounds like you had a nice day at least. Sleeping, watching movies, and playing video games sounds like the perfect day for me too.  

[AquilaLiberum]

Congratulations on your new place Szen! And I'm beginning to know how it feels to have a day of doing nothing after weeks of working non-stop sad
Also, I'm really glad you feel better now that you understand Asperger's. I know I can't gauge what sort of person you are entirely through the internet, but I've always thought you were really nice. I know a few people with Asperger's so I can honestly understand that you may not mean to offend people, or even realise that you're doing it.

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[PainfullyVivid]

I'm glad the new place is good. x3; <3 Quiet is always good. Are the kitties thrilled by their new location?

I'm glad knowing you have Asperger's will be able to help you. x3;

Life sounds like it is relatively good with the exception of the crappy amount of work.  

[Nexus Carbuncle]

At least you're employed, eh? Overworked means you've got a job! To be honest, I know you'd said you aren't around much, anymore, but I really was wondering "Just where in the hell is Szen?"

And a LOT of philosophers, musicians, and important people are Aspies. No big deal, like you said, it doesn't impair you in the least. Found out a year ago that I'm bipolar, and it doesn't get to me!

 

[Aaditya]

It's good that you both got time off and found out that you have Asperger's. I had depression for a while and stress made it a lot worse this year, to the point where I got Zoloft and now it feels like I have a better handle on life and I feel real damn awesome haha. It is great that you know you have Asperger's because now you can learn how to manage it so it doesn't affect your life as much.  

[Szen]

heart @everyone

Qui: I'm glad you think that. It's always my intention to be nice. The last thing I ever want to do is make someone feel bad. That's why I avoid conflict like the plague. XD

Pain: They were a little traumatized at first and demanded that I hold them constantly (yes, both of them). But after they realized that we lived here now and we weren't going to abandon them here while we went back "home", they decided they like it.

Nexus: For sure. Stressful as it may be, it's even more stressful not having an income.
I just had to simplify my life a bit; I was getting overwhelmed and easily aggravated. I'll still pop in once in a while though. <3
A lot of scientists, apparently. Like Isaac Newton and some other famous ones.

Aaditya: That's good to hear. Yes, now I can stop searching for my home planet and make myself comfortable here. XD  

[PainfullyVivid]

Did you at least have nice, long conversations while you held them? Hopefully they were at least good company.
But now they have another place to wreck havoc on. xD  

[scrub]

Glad your enjoying your new house smile I envy your peace and quiet, it can get a bit noisy here sometimes as we live opposite a pub. Still, better than last year in dorms.

I'm an introverted guy, that article you posted about it convinced me so, and I find myself relating to some of the attributes of Asperger's. I'm curious though, now that you've been diagnosed with it what do you plan to do? Is this something you want to try overcome and treat?  

[Maze]

Congratulations on the new house, Szen! biggrin It's great to hear it's so quiet, there. *highfives* Quiet times are good times. 3nodding

I hope you and M. are gonna have many happy years there. <3

Lol at the Asperger test range thing. XD I would never have guessed based on the contact we've had over the years, but then, it's mostly an offline thing, I guess. I know plenty of people who are wonderful folks as long as they're online, and they can't make hide nor hair of things offline. Not all of 'em have been tested for Asperger either, but some did come up as such.

I say offensive things all the time, but then, I don't really care if people get offended or not so I doubt I'm an Aspie myself.. XD

If they know me, they'll know how I mean it, after all. cool heart

Anyway, I'm sorry you felt unworthy or something because of it. At least you feel better for it now. biggrin

Have a good time with your life, Szen. It's the only one you're currently starring in. :3  

[Szen]

scrub

Glad your enjoying your new house smile I envy your peace and quiet, it can get a bit noisy here sometimes as we live opposite a pub. Still, better than last year in dorms.

I'm an introverted guy, that article you posted about it convinced me so, and I find myself relating to some of the attributes of Asperger's. I'm curious though, now that you've been diagnosed with it what do you plan to do? Is this something you want to try overcome and treat?

Honestly, I've spent my entire life trying to overcome it and failing. I mean, I have gotten a lot better, but that's more to do with having more experience and building up my inventory of textbook things to do or say in different situations. XD If I come across a new situation, I still don't know what to do, and that part just can't be learned. Even before the diagnosis, I had decided to stop trying and just live my life in a way that's comfortable for me, hence the self-employment, etc. I have already learned how to manage the important things, so I feel there's no need to continue to stress myself by trying to be normal.

Even after getting my physical health taken care of, if I had to go in and spend the day on site somewhere, after 8 hours, I'd come home and just be completely drained. It's so bad that I don't do anything outside of work when I have to do that. Normal people come home and then do things they enjoy. I noticed that if, instead, I worked from home, I could not only work that 8 hours without getting exhausted, I could continue to work for nearly twice that. I used to think it was that I worked better later than earlier, but I noticed that I could even work the same hours. It was home vs. office that was the difference. Now, after I'd already figured that out, I understand that it's because trying to act like a normal person when I'm around other people takes so much effort for me, whereas it just comes naturally for most people. And even trying to be normal, people still thought I was weird and teased me constantly. DX

Anyway, that's probably more than you cared to know. XD;

Maze:
Thanks. I love me some quiet. XD

It's definitely an offline thing. I've always felt (besides my creepy stalker paranoia) that I would never want to meet anyone I knew online in real life, and that's because I'm quite sure the online me is in no way related to the real life me, other than the fact that we obviously think and feel the same things. XDD If you met me in real life, you'd probably still not have any idea what my voice sounded like. I'm stiff, emotionless (externally), and I hardly ever talk, except to M and my cousin, because I can babble on at them for hours on end and I know I don't have to worry. But writing is a totally different animal from speaking. Whatever part of the brain translates thoughts to spoken words, it's broken in mine. It's either all or nothing. I don't know how to find a happy medium, aside from using my inventory of stock phrases. I don't know how M puts up with it. I think he just finds me amusing. XD;

It's one thing to say offensive things when you know you do. I can respect that, because at least I know you're honest. XD Most people say they're honest but then say things totally opposite of what they really mean/feel. Like "give me a call sometime!" and then you call several times only to discover that they've always got other plans. I'm dense. I think if you tell me to call you, you actually want me to call you and that if you say you have other plans, you actually have other plans. I have to have other people tell me that you really didn't want me to call you in the first place and you don't actually want to hang out. It's ridiculous. DON'T SAY IT IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT. DDDX
XD <3

It occurs to me that real life needs emoticons.  

[scrub]

Happiness sounds like a good life choice. smile  

[Maze]

Szen

Maze:
Thanks. I love me some quiet. XD

It's definitely an offline thing. I've always felt (besides my creepy stalker paranoia) that I would never want to meet anyone I knew online in real life, and that's because I'm quite sure the online me is in no way related to the real life me, other than the fact that we obviously think and feel the same things. XDD If you met me in real life, you'd probably still not have any idea what my voice sounded like. I'm stiff, emotionless (externally), and I hardly ever talk, except to M and my cousin, because I can babble on at them for hours on end and I know I don't have to worry. But writing is a totally different animal from speaking. Whatever part of the brain translates thoughts to spoken words, it's broken in mine. It's either all or nothing. I don't know how to find a happy medium, aside from using my inventory of stock phrases. I don't know how M puts up with it. I think he just finds me amusing. XD;

It's one thing to say offensive things when you know you do. I can respect that, because at least I know you're honest. XD Most people say they're honest but then say things totally opposite of what they really mean/feel. Like "give me a call sometime!" and then you call several times only to discover that they've always got other plans. I'm dense. I think if you tell me to call you, you actually want me to call you and that if you say you have other plans, you actually have other plans. I have to have other people tell me that you really didn't want me to call you in the first place and you don't actually want to hang out. It's ridiculous. DON'T SAY IT IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT. DDDX
XD <3

It occurs to me that real life needs emoticons.

XD Real life with emoticons would make participating in a traffic jam a whole lot more enjoyable, I think. There are also circumstances that would become that much more creepy, like your boss doing an 'OHAI' face or something, but.. XD

But yeah, I try to be frank about what I say with how I feel. I notice that sometimes, I just can't be arsed and go for the easy route, but I try not to. XD It's also a ton of bricks easier to do online, because there are no physical repercussions, of course, but it's good practice for the offline world. cool

And anyway, I respect you too much to try and pull your leg like that. Seriously, that's just not on. talk2hand

It's great to hear your life is getting better. biggrin Here's to hoping it's an ongoing trend. cool <3