[A] Lovemate vs Lifemate

[Tsunake]

^agree to dis.

Honestly, I don't understand why there needs to be a distinction. It's clearly understood that same-gender Soquili or same-species Soquili (depending on the breed, of course), can't breed. I don't think that means they need their own, special term. What's wrong with being lifemates and agreeing to have surrogates/celibacy, even? I understand people want baskets, so like Cherie said, if both parties speak to one another and accept the terms, I don't see why they wouldn't be allowed to have surrogates!  

[Kirowyn Love]

I also agree that it really doesn't need to have two seperate names for the exact same thing.  

[Kirowyn Love]

Beejoux

For rp purposes it's the exact same thing.

From the point of view of the breeders, it would complicate things making them the same, we'd have to do more work by having to look back to see if a pairing is a lifemating to eachother, or to someone else and their "mate in the breeding fraffle is just a surrogate. If it is surrogate, then that's not their lifemate, and just because they're dedicated to one sow as their one true love, that would influence how many baskets they have with their surrogate.

It's not meant to make anyone feel as though their lifemating is in anyway less meaningful then a lifemating, but combining them seems like it would greatly comicate things for the list makers and colorists.

EDIT: lovemates have always had the right to breed through surrogates. Intact one pair was rolled in one of the last breeding raffles. Elliel's lovemates to Zartius, but just had kids with a surrogate.

I can see how it could possibly be confusing, but then again, if people KNEW that they were not allowed to put the status of the couple they're entering as Lifemates in the case of surrogates, then that problem would be solved. After all, putting the pair up you wouldn't be able to say they're lifemates since that's not what the breeding agreement would be.  

[mindsend]

Surrogates are allowed with Lovemating -- the description means they cannot have children WITH EACH OTHER (aka are biologically incompatible due to species or gender).

For Example: Cuauhcoatl is an Angeni, Ikinya is an usida. They are lovemates, since they are escentially lifemated, true to each other, but cannot breed. In order to have children, they must either adopt, or surrogate/get a donor.

The reason for having a separate terminology for it is for the following reasons:

1) its a way that will keep people surrogating from getting in trouble for being with someone other then their "lifemate" when breeding, when someone new/not understanding it see's it and goes "Whoa hey, they say their lifemated with so and so here, and are entering here, they didnt break it and are just entering without the forced break on it.

Then us digging around, not knowing that the 'lifemating' wasnt an actual breeding involved one, perhaps not even knowing what gender or species the lifemate is, and bugging surrogate/not submitting them for breeding cause of misplaced information and having to ask WHY you're breeding.

"So and so has maxed out breedings and we cant mate. So its a lovemating, with a surrogation"


"Oh.. OH! Derp. @_@ No wonder we couldnt find anything on it but had you talking about it. Sorry."

Everyone's time wasted because of someone trying to keep people from breaking the rules might not have understood that it was a different sort.

So its sort of like how, in some places, the state can marry you, even if a church refuses.

2) its mostly just an RP device set up to help prevent confusion, and doesnt actually HAVE to be used in such a matter: Some people just didn't know how to describe their non-lifemated life partner and it was a simple way to say it in short terms during the art contest for couples.

We said " Fling, life mate or lifemate equivilant" and kept having people ask about whether or not their gay couples could be drawn in the couples catagory. Adding the lovemate solved the issue for that instant, and we added the terminology to it for the sake of Roleplayers, and to also add a definition for those who might see it and go "wtf is that?" and understand it doesnt actually gain you anything breeding slot wise, its just a roleplay terminology.  

[Thalion]

As someone from the 'other side of the argument' it's nice to see a distinction between lifemates and lovemates. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that originally there even was a term for Soquili who were in a relationship outside of a male/female of the same species. I doubt that the staff of Soquili meant for anyone to take offense at a separation in terms. As mentioned above, it's helpful to the colorists to have the distinction. As someone on the traditional side of the fence, I appreciate the difference in terms. :3  

[Felmino]

The distinction between the terms "lovemate" and "lifemate" are for OOC reasons only - so that lovemates can choose (if they desire) to surrogate. Lifemates *cannot* breed outside of their chosen partner without breaking the lifemating.

That is the ONLY distinction between love and lifemate. They have equal status ICly. No list is kept of lovemates because the lifemates list existed only to facilitate colorist's duties in checking for breeding permissions. At that, the list is out of date and due to be phased out.

See mindsend's post above for a more detailed explanation.  

[Syaoran-Puu]

If they are for OOC purposes only, would a 'lovemate' couple be able to call each other 'lifemate' in RP?
 

[Ishtanballa]

Syaoran-Puu

If they are for OOC purposes only, would a 'lovemate' couple be able to call each other 'lifemate' in RP?

I would assume so because that is technically what they are, a mated couple who intends to spend the rest of their lives together. My Ellial refers to Zaitus as his lifemate and always will.

As for OOC purposes, when it comes to breedings I can see the need for the distinction. And honestly, it doesn't really change anything. Just that if you come across a form for some event thing and it's got a "Lovemate" thing, that's what you do the little yes in to indicate that this stallion/mare is with a same sex partner.


One thing I have been curious about, and this is probably off topic, can a same sex couple get their mate's name put on their tag?  

[Selalusia]

I think they should be able to get their mate's name put on their tag! 8D
even if it's same sex couple, or usdia regular sized, ect ect.

Not sure if there'd be any problems with that though? Breeding wise... *shrugs* owo but I think they should be able to get the names on their. I think it's nice to be able to see straight away from the tag if that soq has a partner

 

[Niloufer]

Miss Cherie

If it's a question of an OOC thing, why is it in the RP Guidebook, as simply part of the setting? I agree that they should be able to get their mate's name put on their tag, though that becomes complicated in the case of a Soquili with multiple lovemates, assuming such a thing is possible. Personally, I am going to continue to ICly use "lifemate" to refer to those relationships of a permanent nature.

I don't see how a horse could have multiple love mates, sence a horse cannot have multiple life-mates. Multiple Surrogates? Yeah 8D

And its not Completely an OOC thing, from my understanding ( More like 95%), It has some minor effects in rp, namely, that if your soquili has a life-mate, if can never breed with anyone if that life-mate. If your couple happens to be non-compatible, then no chance of surrogates if they want foals.

It allows wiggle room for non-breeding compatible couples to breed, without being unfaithful to eachother, and breaking their "vows" so to speak. I personally, refer to all of my partnered pairs as lifemates, but for breeding confusion they have minorly different set of rules.

If Birdy found out her mate went to breed with another mare because he wanted more kids for them.... >_> It would not end well.

Tsunami ( Who might go lesbian o-O ) Would not think twice if her mate came asking her if she could find a stallion to father children for them. Because, it wouldn't really be cheating.

IMO~

 

[one over three]

This looks like a useful distinction for the colourists to me.

I'd wonder if I could 'lifemate' a couple that can't breed and sacrifice their ability to use surrogates? But that's my only question. If I had a couple using surrogates I'd have no problem making use of this distinction. There's nothing stopping me from using the term lifemate in RP still after all. ;d