Discussion: Is spanking a child always abusive?

[Dark Mistress Rissa]

I think no, but that's just my opinion. It just depends on how the parents decide to go about the disciplining. If it's a smack to the butt with their hand, that shouldn't be classified as abusive. But a belt or whip is, in my opinion, definitely going too far.

Children scar easily when they're young. I was spanked as a child, and I'm 19 now and it scares me each time I see a paddle. Do you classify spanking your kids as abuse, or a necessity? I think it depends on how you do it.

What's everyone else's opinion?

 

[Lady Kira X]

We got spankings with belts or paddles.
I think if a parent does it to show that the child has definitely done something wrong then it shouldnt be counted as abusive.
But if they take their anger out on them & obsessively beat the child.. then yes, it should be counted as abuse.

When you strike your child hard enough to leave bruises, you need to check yourself because a line has definitely been crossed.  

[Dark Mistress Rissa]

I agree completely.

 

[Vanna1994]

Spanking a child is not abuse at all, its caring. Parents NEED to spank their children especially if timeouts arent doing the trick. Ive recieved spankings as a kid, Im not that bad of a person. Now days spanking a child could be considered child abuse, yeah and they wonder why there are so many rebellious teenagers.

Spankings are disicpline, not abuse.  

[Empty Spiral]

[~+~]

Oops, wrong poll option. xD;
Read it after i'd clicked one. gonk

It depends on how it's intented.
Obviously if it's just for the sake of it, then no, that is abuse.

However, i was "spanked" as a child, but it was never a real violent spank, it was just, well, what you would deem appropriate all those years ago.
Children need to be disciplined somehow, and yelling at them isn't always enough.
Let's put it this way, from a young age i learnt if i did something really bad, i'd get smacked (not as violent as it sounds, it's just what we call it over here xD; ), so i learnt not to misbehave, and it worked.
It's as Vanna said, they wonder why there are so many rebellious teenagers these days - it's because trying to discipline your child is now termed as "abuse". |:

 

[User_20392979]

I don't see it as abusive but as a forum of discipline. Kids need disciplined so that they know what is o.k. and what isn't. Spanking isn't the same as hitting/beating and you don't need to use belts or paddles to spank. But you also need to tell them what they did was wrong and why so that way they would know.

I think one reason why a lot of children are unruly is because they lack discipline and get away with things and that does lead to problems, such as actual abuse in my opinion.  

[Cold Oktober]

it all depends, really. if it's just a swat on the butt, i don't classify it as abuse. but if it's like over the knee and the child gets multiple spankings, then yeah i'd classify it as abuse. i was spanked as a child and my sister was not. i am, by far, much more well behaved than she, but i'm terrified of hands. i flinch whenever someone goes to like give me a high five or reaches to pat me on the back. i know that i would never be severe with those kinds of punishments when i have children but they will know what mommy does and doesn't allow.

 

[Testicular Diabeetus]

No offense but sometimes children need a good a** whippin'
I got them as a child, it kept me from doing stupid stuff and it taught me a lesson.

I think that a good firm, but quick swat on the butt is all that you need to get the job done. Sometimes kids will not listen. Time outs loose their effectiveness. Grounding is futile most of the time. Spankings work. They always have.

However I think that if bruises, welts or marks of any kind are being left behind... That right there is abuse.
Never should you ever leave a mark, that is cruel.

There is a line between abuse and discipline.

 

[xena91388]

It depends on how the spanking is done. Spanking until the child bruises and blisters is abuse, a little reddening is ok.

When I was in elementary and middle school, the only thing keeping my friends from doing bad things such as theft, bullying, vandalism, and such was actually the fear of being spanked! My school even had spanking as a punishment! All parents were given a permission slip of sorts saying it was ok/not ok for the admin to spank their children! gonk

Believe me, I've seen a HUGE noticeable difference in kids who get spanked vs kids who don't.

My grandparents spanked my parents, my parents spanked me, and I will most likely spank my children too. Spanking kept us off drugs and out of jail! Do you know how we all talk about our experiences of being spanked? With fun! xd

Me: Hey sis, remember that one time we threw dominoes at each other inside the house?

Sister: LOL ya! We got spanked so hard I though I couldn't sit for a week! rofl

Mom: Ah! This one time when I was around 12 I believe, I painted the toilet seat white, my brother went in to use it and . . .*blahblah* . . . Haha! My mother just whipped off her shoe spanked me so hard. . .*blahblah* . . . Good times good times! rofl  

[Art Greylace]

I think everyone's got the same idea I have... There's a line and it's usually pretty clear.

Basically, though, I think it should be avoided as best as possible, because it's not the best option, but sometimes it's the only one.

I don't remember ever getting hurt so much as tapped on the butt, often quite playfully. It never left any bruises. The only way my parents would ever hurt me would be if I was actually attacking them, and even then, it was more holding me down than anything else.

I think it should be done with the knowledge that you don't really want to be doing it.  

[Azusanga]

I pretty much agree. Though I probably won't spank, some children can handle yelling and groundings like a pro.

I was talking with my lover, and he said:

I don't really want to spank, I was spanked with a turqoise studded belt as a kid... that hurt. The only time they'll get spanked is when they mess up big time- cookies from the cookie jar? No. Hitting their sibling? Yes. That's when they get spanked.  

[J e n R e i]

I Don't think its abusive. I got whoopins when I was little. And i'd deserved them.it taught me not to do it again. Kids need whoopins to be discipline.Because watching Nanny 911 and all those little bad a** kids don't get yelled at or whoppins,so they continued to do whatever..But I think if they got ONE good whoopin,they will straighten up.
Its abusive if you take you anger out on the kids and beat them for no reason.

 

[Ramiele]

I work for the Family Nurturing Center where I teach to abusive and neglectful parents how to parent efficiently and without abuse. I was also spanked as a child. Never with a belt, but an open hand, one or two swats on the bottom.

I do not think spanking with an open hand is abuse. Spanking with objects and hitting hard enough to leave marks is though. I do think that spanking should be a last ditch attempt. I think reasoning and talking privilages away should happen first and if that doesn't do anything, the, "I don't want to spank you, but if you don't straighten up, there are consequences to actions," might work.

I worked at a daycare and one of the little boys in my class was a problem child. He had a crappy home life and at the age of three had lived in about ten different homes. Every three or four months he was moving again. His grandfather was president of the school-board for the daycare I worked/interned at. I remember one day this boy ran out into the middle of the street as a car was coming. Scared the daylights of everyone around. His mom grabbed him, and out of stress, gave him a swat on the bottom. Of course, the boy cried. His grandfather (who hated his mom; it was B.'s paternal grandfather) grabbed B. from his mother, rubbed his butt and said things like, "Mommy is just mean." However a few weeks later, B was participating in a normal, but annoying childhood activity. Blowing bubbles in his milk. He was told twice to stop, and didn't. Finally his grandfather hit him in the back of the head/neck/shoulders pretty hard. I watched the child cry as he had food in his mouth and I didn't want him to choke as he had a really hard time catching his breath. And one deep breath was all he would have needed to bring that food down his throat and choke. I reported him. Take the damn cup away. I will admit that B. was a problem at times, but no child has a right to be hit like that.

My dad scared me when I was younger, he used to take his belt and snap it in front of us to scare us and make us act right. I don't think that was kind or fair of him, but he never once hit me with the belt.

There is a line to appropriate spanking and punishment. It's not invisible or even thin.  

[EarlsGarden]

Depends on what kind of spanking.
~

What is abuse? I really don't know. I mean i've been spanked multiple times when i was younger.

~

 

[DOMOs Kender child]

Vanna1994

Spanking a child is not abuse at all, its caring. Parents NEED to spank their children especially if timeouts arent doing the trick. Ive recieved spankings as a kid, Im not that bad of a person. Now days spanking a child could be considered child abuse, yeah and they wonder why there are so many rebellious teenagers.

Spankings are disicpline, not abuse.

I disagree with you. Research does not correlate a lack of spankings to rebellious teenagers, but it does correlate spankings with violence outside the home. Corporal punishment is also, technically, not considered a form of abuse unless the marks of it remain on the child for more than 48 hours.

My dad spanked me, usually with a belt and not always on the rear; he went too far more than once while doing so. He crossed the line between discipline and abuse and I still wear the scars from it. It's funny because I'm not rebellious around anyone except him and when I fought him I was justified almost each and every time.