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 Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:36 pm
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OKAI, I'll start with the backstory; FIRST TRIMESTER: I liked this guy, he was really funny and nice to me, he sat next to me and I NEVER get in trouble for talking but I did when he was talking to me. So my friend told him, he didn't believe her. I hate HATE HATE this thing about me, I can hide my emotions really well. Just a simple smile and they think I'm A-OKAY! So he knew then came a break. SECOND TRIMESTER: I missed him all break, I got a boy friend but I din't love him, so we broke up before school started. When we came back he sat in front of me, again, we talked and I began falling again. But then I guess my friend started to like him.... So I told them I still liked him, WORST DECISION EVER! She hates me now, my other best friend always will talk to her and not me. She cuts me out of conversations and when we would walk and talk, they step in front of me and I just follow them, I struggle to even stand next to them! I started getting REALLY sad during Thanksgiving break, so... I started cutting myself. Not really cutting but poking little holes in my wrist with a broken pin, I've always been emotionally fragile but, like I said before, I am really good at hiding it. When I feel like crying I go all silent and when I see my friend who I think likes the guy I do I fell a wave of sadness and I think one time she noticed it, she was smiling and laughing then looked over at me pouting at her and stopped. She just makes me feel really bad and I'm scared, can somebody help me.... |
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:30 pm
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C a r a m e l K i t t e h
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:18 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 5:47 pm
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Ze Fuzzy Bunny OKAI, I'll start with the backstory; FIRST TRIMESTER: I liked this guy, he was really funny and nice to me, he sat next to me and I NEVER get in trouble for talking but I did when he was talking to me. So my friend told him, he didn't believe her. I hate HATE HATE this thing about me, I can hide my emotions really well. Just a simple smile and they think I'm A-OKAY! So he knew then came a break. SECOND TRIMESTER: I missed him all break, I got a boy friend but I din't love him, so we broke up before school started. When we came back he sat in front of me, again, we talked and I began falling again. But then I guess my friend started to like him.... So I told them I still liked him, WORST DECISION EVER! She hates me now, my other best friend always will talk to her and not me. She cuts me out of conversations and when we would walk and talk, they step in front of me and I just follow them, I struggle to even stand next to them! I started getting REALLY sad during Thanksgiving break, so... I started cutting myself. Not really cutting but poking little holes in my wrist with a broken pin, I've always been emotionally fragile but, like I said before, I am really good at hiding it. When I feel like crying I go all silent and when I see my friend who I think likes the guy I do I fell a wave of sadness and I think one time she noticed it, she was smiling and laughing then looked over at me pouting at her and stopped. She just makes me feel really bad and I'm scared, can somebody help me....
Awwwh. Listen, you liked him first..dibs!XD jk but yea ur frend needs to get over it..
and about the cutting..u rlly shld stop =( it duznt help, ever. Trust me.
Itll b ok, stay strong...D: |
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 2:17 pm
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First of all, get rid of your friends.
I know that sounds harsh. I know it's not as easy as it sounds.
But I've known so many people who's lives were ruined by childish and pathetic excuses for friends. And friends who hate you because you like the same guy as they do, and friends who make you feel like the third wheel. Trust me darling, They. Are. Not. Worth. it.
You need to get rid of them and make new friends before they start taking advantage of you, manipulating you and generally treating you more of a play-thing than a friend. And yes, making new friends is hard. I didn't meet the greatest friends I've ever had till college. But it's like a new start and a new start can improve your mood dramatically. And when you find them, you can stop hiding your feelings and find that person (or people) who you can be open and yourself too.
However, if - for some reason - you really do love them, tell them how you feel. If they love you, they'll understand and maybe even try to work it out. But it depends if you think it's worth it to work it out.
Alright, secondly: This guy you have a crush on.
Go for it. Ask him out. Your friends must have known you had a crush on him, so that's their problem. So just ask him. And if it doesn't work out, just ask to stay friends and hope for the best. If you're not confident enough yet to ask him out, keep getting to know him, become closer and maybe he just might ask you. Keep an open mind, anything can happen.
Thirdly, this self-harming issue. Again, leading us back to the fact the you really need new friends. If your friends are making you do THAT - then that just shows how shitty they are as friends.
Also, maybe you should talk to someone about this depression. I know that sounds like silly advice, but holding in your emotions and allowing them to build up can have consequences in the future. Everything will just boil over and you will just snap - that's a very common thing in girls and women - and maybe it won't just be little holes in your wrist made by a pin. Maybe next time it will be a knife. You might be thinking "I would never do that!" but it's only a matter of time, isn't it? Talk out your problems, write them in a diary, even talk to someone online as I am talking to you! But never keep your feelings bottled up if it's ruining your life.
This really is the only advice I can give you. Because when it comes down to it, it's up to you what you do. I can't tell you what to do and I don't know if you're going to do it.
And I'm not trying to be rude or insulting or anything, I generally feel for you and I hope you get better and I hope everything works out for the best.
You are a strong person, I can see that. But you're using it completely wrong. You shouldn't be using you strength to hide your feelings, you should be using it to tell your feelings to this guy and use it to find new and better friends, even if it may be a scary process. But that's life - but life should be scary and exciting, not something that you hate.
Much luck, my darling, I hope things work out for the best.
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