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 Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 9:16 am
... for my friend Ryan and his boyfriend Brandon. They do want children, and with one of their DNA, and they want to know the mother is healthy and a good person (and to resemble one of them so that the baby will too).
I happen to be rather healthy, a good person with no history is serious illnesses, and am basically a girl version of Ryan.
So, I want to be the surrogate mother of their child. This is a big decission for me because I have already decided that i don't want to birth my children, I want to adopt. Giving birth scares me, and I don't want to be too attached to their baby once I have it. But they really want this baby and they want me to be the mother, so I am going to go through with it.
I am only 15 now and they are both 20, but they are willing to wait, and pay for anything I will need and more.
So, I'm not in any real need of advice on this, but I would like your thoughts on this. I'm excited for them but I'm a bit nervous for me. What is the proccess for being a surrogate? For insemination?
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 12:49 pm
Ya know, my gay friend Dusty asked me this too. Well, sort of. He asked (since we all recently found out I CAN have children!) if maybe one day I'd be willing to me surrogate for him. I told him of course because I love him like he's my own damn brother.
My thoughts on this? Well, I feel kind of the same way as you do, afraid I'd be too attached. But something you COULD do is tell them your feelings. If anything, when the baby is old enough to understand, you all could sit down and explain that you are the birth mother but that Ryan and Brandon will always be their real parents.
Hope I helped a bit! ~L
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 3:44 pm
An' if there be no harm, do what ye will.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 5:29 pm
Denkou Soshiatae ... for my friend Ryan and his boyfriend Brandon. They do want children, and with one of their DNA, and they want to know the mother is healthy and a good person (and to resemble one of them so that the baby will too). I happen to be rather healthy, a good person with no history is serious illnesses, and am basically a girl version of Ryan. So, I want to be the surrogate mother of their child. This is a big decission for me because I have already decided that i don't want to birth my children, I want to adopt. Giving birth scares me, and I don't want to be too attached to their baby once I have it. But they really want this baby and they want me to be the mother, so I am going to go through with it. I am only 15 now and they are both 20, but they are willing to wait, and pay for anything I will need and more. So, I'm not in any real need of advice on this, but I would like your thoughts on this. I'm excited for them but I'm a bit nervous for me. What is the proccess for being a surrogate? For insemination? It's great you want to be a surrogate mother and that their willing to wait till your older to have a child. My mom's friend was a surrogate mother and told me it wasn't always happy time. Of course child carrying the child and labor was very hard. It was also hard seeing the child go, knowing part of that was her's. But she said in the end she felt good cause she helped make a family happen. And the look on the two father's faces seeing there knew baby was enough.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 5:57 pm
Don't you think that's a lot to be asking a fifteen year old? neutral
I wouldn't make up your mind just yet.. o:
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 6:13 pm
Don't judge me
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!I think it's great that you want to help your friends have a baby, but... don't you think you're a bit too young for it now?
I may be wrong, but I don't think your body is ready to carry a baby for 9 months. Yes, I'm sure you've either learned, or have been told that every period it means your body was ready for a baby, but you didn't fertilize the egg, so whatever happens and you bleed... buuut... it doesn't mean you're actually ready to carry a baby.
I'd say, you can make your decision now, but don't take action until you're 18+. Maybe then your body will be able to handle carrying a baby, and give birth to it. I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven.
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 7:41 am
--Untoten Kase-- Don't judge me
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!I think it's great that you want to help your friends have a baby, but... don't you think you're a bit too young for it now?
I may be wrong, but I don't think your body is ready to carry a baby for 9 months. Yes, I'm sure you've either learned, or have been told that every period it means your body was ready for a baby, but you didn't fertilize the egg, so whatever happens and you bleed... buuut... it doesn't mean you're actually ready to carry a baby.
I'd say, you can make your decision now, but don't take action until you're 18+. Maybe then your body will be able to handle carrying a baby, and give birth to it. I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven. Di you even read my post? I said that they are totally willing to wait for me to turn 18 and even after for this to happen? Seriously, I said that clearly. And yeah i know that.
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2011 8:58 pm
If you three are so close, then you'll never be far from the child; that may or may not be helpful to you. You may be able to take the place of an aunt, or a god mother.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 1:50 am
Denkou Soshiatae --Untoten Kase-- Don't judge me
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!I think it's great that you want to help your friends have a baby, but... don't you think you're a bit too young for it now?
I may be wrong, but I don't think your body is ready to carry a baby for 9 months. Yes, I'm sure you've either learned, or have been told that every period it means your body was ready for a baby, but you didn't fertilize the egg, so whatever happens and you bleed... buuut... it doesn't mean you're actually ready to carry a baby.
I'd say, you can make your decision now, but don't take action until you're 18+. Maybe then your body will be able to handle carrying a baby, and give birth to it. I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven. Di you even read my post? I said that they are totally willing to wait for me to turn 18 and even after for this to happen? Seriously, I said that clearly. And yeah i know that.
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!I'm sorry, but did YOU read YOUR post? You said nothing about waiting to be 18, dear. :3 You said wait, but who knows how long you'll actually wait?
You did not say it clearly, you said "I am only 15 now and they are both 20, but they are willing to wait"
See? you never said "I am only 15 now and they are both 20, but they are willing to wait until I am 18"
So, before you get all pissy and acting all "high and mighty" telling me I didn't actually read your post, when it's obvious you either didn't think, or just got mad when i gave you my advice.. so you forgot what you ACTUALLY said, and decided to just say you made something clear, when you didn't...
And another thing, can you try being less rude when someone gives you advice you don't like? Seriously. -_- I just tried to help, and you get all rude because you just didn't like what I have to say. Kay? Kay... I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 8:04 am
If you're really that worried about being attached, then don't do it.
Even if you are a surrogate, the law still reconizes the child as yours. So if you don't want to give it up, you don't have to. If you're afraid you won't be able to give the child up, then it's better not to cause them the pain and let them find someone else.
On another note, you should probably get checked for genetic diseases, just because you don't have it doesn't mean the child won't. (this really only applies if you're going to be the genetic mother)
EDIT:
Misunderstood question, so going to try this again....
Basicly they take an egg from someone (maybe you, maybe not) and put one of their sperm in it. Put the combo into your reproductive system, and if it takes (which a fair amount of the time it doesn't so you may end up doing this more then once), the birthing process goes as normal.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:11 pm
well everyone else is saying things like "if you get too attached..." so i'm gonna say something different (though i would try not to get too attached).
congrats, you seem like an awesome friend, Ryan and Brandon are lucky to have you.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 1:30 pm
Personally, the thought of childbirth frightens me. But that's because I'm a tiny tiny tiny person and I can't handle the thought of a big baby in my tiny body xd
Idk what body type you are, but if you really want to help them out, I say go for it biggrin
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 1:50 pm
--Untoten Kase-- Denkou Soshiatae --Untoten Kase-- Don't judge me
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!I think it's great that you want to help your friends have a baby, but... don't you think you're a bit too young for it now?
I may be wrong, but I don't think your body is ready to carry a baby for 9 months. Yes, I'm sure you've either learned, or have been told that every period it means your body was ready for a baby, but you didn't fertilize the egg, so whatever happens and you bleed... buuut... it doesn't mean you're actually ready to carry a baby.
I'd say, you can make your decision now, but don't take action until you're 18+. Maybe then your body will be able to handle carrying a baby, and give birth to it. I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven. Di you even read my post? I said that they are totally willing to wait for me to turn 18 and even after for this to happen? Seriously, I said that clearly. And yeah i know that.
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!I'm sorry, but did YOU read YOUR post? You said nothing about waiting to be 18, dear. :3 You said wait, but who knows how long you'll actually wait?
You did not say it clearly, you said "I am only 15 now and they are both 20, but they are willing to wait"
See? you never said "I am only 15 now and they are both 20, but they are willing to wait until I am 18"
So, before you get all pissy and acting all "high and mighty" telling me I didn't actually read your post, when it's obvious you either didn't think, or just got mad when i gave you my advice.. so you forgot what you ACTUALLY said, and decided to just say you made something clear, when you didn't...
And another thing, can you try being less rude when someone gives you advice you don't like? Seriously. -_- I just tried to help, and you get all rude because you just didn't like what I have to say. Kay? Kay... I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven. I'm sorry... It wasn't you i was attacking -.-' Yes I was a bit twinged that you said that my body isn't ready RIGHT NOW, though I said i did plan on waiting. THus meaning that I wasn't planning on birthing a baby right now. Also, i had already been told this information about my body long ago and since many times over. I shouldn't have made that outburst at you, I'm sorry. i simply read something the wrong way at the wrong moment on a bad day, you're right, I WASN'T clear about how long exactly I planned on waiting.
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 4:27 pm
I think it's a great idea! Sometimes I think being a surrogate mother would be cool too. Since Ryan and Brandon are your friends, I assume you would keep in contact with them and ask about the kid. However, Ryan and Brandon are probably in college or something as they are both 20. And being in college with a baby is kind of hard, so I'm sure they'll probably want to wait a while too. Even if they aren't in college, when you're 20, you want to go out to parties and stuff with your friends without the woes of having to take care of a kid. So yes, when you/they are ready, you should totally do it!
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