Aspies in Love?

[Wendy Belle]

Are you in love with an Aspie? (I use "Aspie" as an affectionate term for a person with Asperger's syndrome, a high functioning form of autism)
Or are you an Aspie in love?
I was married for 27 years to a wonderful man who (we learned later) had Asperger's syndrome.
Now I am writing a book about Spouseberger's.
Do you have any stories, insights, advice, questions or answers about this issue to share with me?  

[ThisEmptySoul]

While there are times when I seriously suspect the spouse might have Asperger's and the spouse themselves was the first to even suggest the possibility, I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't really have experience in this particular subject since we don't know for a fact whether or not the spouse has it. There are moments when the spouse seems to go through the symptoms or at least something similar to it, though... such as taking an extreme interest in one subject for some time, all of their focus and energy being spent on this one thing, and then after a while switch subjects and lose all interest in the first one. Spouse can also be a bit socially awkward around others.

I would think that if the spouse did have it, it would be a very mild case, though.... and there's a high probability the spouse doesn't have it at all.  

[Call Me Apple]

I'm married to a man with Aspergers. We've been together for 4 years, married for 2.

I'd be interested in your book very much smile  

[Prince Darialan]

I have asperger's, but i keep to myself so much and there's no where to go that i'm interested in to meet women. Women ignore me on dating sites. ugh. I can't find love. sad  

[Matasoga]

My wife hasn't been officially diagnosed, but she has nearly all of the symptoms and from our own, unliscenced point of view, if seems incredibly likely to both of us that she has it. She was the first to bring it up as a possibility.
I don't have any real insights or revelations, but I'd love to read your book.  

[lady leko-chan]

I've nearly posted here about 5 times now sweatdrop
I'm forcing myself to do it this time
I'm married to what I suspect to be an undiagnosed case as well,
he absolutely has all the symptoms and it seems likely he is also of the high functioning type.
Although I had him on board about it at one point he has since brushed it aside.
But I still have my insights on this and find it easier to interact with him when i keep it in mind.
There is no question about the fact he processes everything differently than myself and many others that I have interacted with,
but whether or not it's asperger's is not perfectly clear.
I'm not sure what I could offer at all since I have little more to share than that, and also since it's not an official case,
but would be highly interested in hearing about said book.

Prince Darialan Love

Women ignore me on dating sites. ugh. I can't find love. sad

As for you sir, any man with a perry the platypus stuffed animal should not be ignored! wink
Which is why I made a point not to ignore you on this site!  

[Call Me Apple]

Prince Darialan Love

I have asperger's, but i keep to myself so much and there's no where to go that i'm interested in to meet women. Women ignore me on dating sites. ugh. I can't find love. sad

My husband was the same way, he never had a girlfriend before me.
Actually, I met him on Gaia in the LD 3nodding We became friends and exchanged MSN's and it progressed from there.

I had never even dreamed of dating some dude from the internet. You never know when it will happen. But I do hope you find that special someone heart  

[Wendy Belle]

Prince Darialan Love

I have asperger's, but i keep to myself so much and there's no where to go that i'm interested in to meet women. Women ignore me on dating sites. ugh. I can't find love. sad

Thank you for replying to this thread, Prince Darialan Love.
I wish you success in finding someone to date and share your life with.
I would recommend, though, that you not go to dating sites where women ignore you.
You might try a site where people share an interest in your interests,
such as Perry the Platypus or other Disney characters, if that's what you like.
Some of my favorite people have Asperger syndrome, and I know a bit about how difficult it can be for them to get out and socialize with others, but reaching out to others in areas of shared interest is a good start.
(Sorry if I'm giving you too much unasked for advice; I guess it's just the Mom in me...)  

[Wendy Belle]

I am so gratified to find so many replies to my thread, and especially thank you to those who expressed interest in my book (in process.)
If you're interested, I invite you to my blog at www.spousebergers.wordpress.com or my "lens"site at www.squidoo.com/spousebergers.
Keep on communicating!  

[Winters Gate]

I have aspergers, among other things. Suprisingly, I find myself in a somewhat stable relationship. I am also interested in your book and will be checking out your blog.

Prince Darialan Love, I keep to myself alot too. I have not used dating sites however one day it just happened for me. I think sometimes things like love
fall into your lap when you least expect them too. Good Luck. smile

Slightly random note: What is a Lens Site?  

[Winters Gate]

Call Me Apple

Prince Darialan Love

I have asperger's, but i keep to myself so much and there's no where to go that i'm interested in to meet women. Women ignore me on dating sites. ugh. I can't find love. sad

My husband was the same way, he never had a girlfriend before me.
Actually, I met him on Gaia in the LD 3nodding We became friends and exchanged MSN's and it progressed from there.

I had never even dreamed of dating some dude from the internet. You never know when it will happen. But I do hope you find that special someone heart

Hey cool you met on gaia. I met my boyfriend on gaia as well. One of the first people I met on here and many years later we are dating.  

[Laserwulf]

I had been dating my g/f for a couple of months before a mutual friend surprised me with the (apparently common) knowledge of her diagnosis. eek It didn't change anything, and we've been together for over a year now, but the fact that it never occurred to me might say something about me as well. smile  

[Lil Brat]

My friend's (adult) son has Asperger's (high degree) so he struggles to be independent. Watching my young neighbor boy these last few years makes me strongly suspect he does as well (his grandparents/guardians agree) though his has not been formally diagnosed. He is instead diagnosed ADHD... I don't know a great deal about it, but found a good read on the topic a few years ago. It is a work of fiction, but the information she puts in to her character who has Asperger's is very credible. I was drawn to the book as it is set in the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State, not too many hours away. The book is called The Civil Wars of Jonah Moran ~ I've attached a link below.

http://www.amazon.com/Civil-Wars-Jonah-Moran-Novel/product-reviews/0688159753

Obviously this would be "case study" as it were, there are varying degrees of Asperger's Syndrome, some people can be very independent and no one would know, while others struggle. Tyra Banks had a young lady on her Next Top Model show and she did very well. The judges didn't know until they were told. There really is still so much research that could be done on Autism, Asperger's being one of what may prove to be a number of types of Autism.

Wishing you all the best on your book ~ I don't know how much information and insight is out there for people who love someone with Aspergers or who have it, but speaking with my friend, she's spent 19 years trying to figure out what steps to take to help him grow and be as independent as is possible without a lot of help or support for the majority of those years.  

[Sakura_Moonlight2421]

As an aspiring Psychologists I don't have much experience with most syndromes that deals with the mind. Though I have been taught to know the symptoms and to recognize that there are varying degrees of Asperger's. I wish you luck with your book. 3nodding

@Brat - ADHD means he's hyper {full of energy/can't sit still} and has trouble concentrating on one task at a time. Thus learning a lot slower than most children. I have been diagnosed with borderline ADD which is a milder form of ADHD and have a learning disability. So I have some experience with this disorder. Though it is interesting that boy shows more symptoms of Asperger's than ADHD. Has his guardians ever got a second opinion from another doctor?  

[Lil Brat]

They haven't had much success on that. (I meant I didn't know a great deal about Asperger's... at age 5, my middle daughter was diagnosed ADHD in the 1 percentile ~ highly unusual for a girl but it gives me a starting comparison point.) I wouldn't say my little neighbor is hyper or overly energetic. He does have some anger issues, which contribute to some of his school troubles, but they aren't the only thing going on with this kid. He can concentrate on things he really enjoys for long periods of time, and remember unbelievable amounts of facts on his chosen subject (now 12, he's been doing that for years). He also can't stand to has his foods touch each other on his plate, another sign sometimes associated with Asperger's.

I work in Juvenile Justice and unfortunately, the trend in the last decade has been more kids coming in to the system with mental health and co-occurring disorders. Close to 60%.... When coming up with the percentage, ADHD/ADD were removed from the equation. Unfortunately, the medical profession is loathe to diagnose Bi-Polar (in particular but there are others) until the age of 18, and any number of kids get the ADHD label until they get older. Sad, the meds aren't the same. My older daughter's friend had the "depression" diagnosis until 18 when they decided maybe they'd gotten in wrong and changed it over to bi-polar.

Psychology is a fascinating subject ~ it's amazing what the human mind can do that continues to be discovered. I wish you the very best in achieving your goal.