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 Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:15 pm
Okay. I am ready to come out of the closet, but it makes me scared of the thought. I need some advice.
I'm afraid of telling my parents, because they always are making fun of me if they think I like a girl. This is in a playful, loving way, not a mean way. They always tell me that they will always love and care for me. Also, I have a sister. I was thinking of telling her first, but I knew she would probably tell everyone. Word would probably get out and all my friends at school would know. At my high school, not being straight is an insult. It makes me sad that my classmates make fun of people who are not straight. It getting out makes me scared of telling anyone. My closest friend is the only one I could trust on telling, but I don't want him to be freaked out. A lot of my other friends had told me that they think it is wrong to be gay.
Who should I tell? Should I wait till I graduate to come out? Should I pretend to like girls just so people don't ask? Help D:
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:04 am
Honey, I'm so sorry about your situation. I think I speak for a lot of people, including myself, when we think about coming out if we haven't, and if we have, how hard it is. But the thing is, you can't deny who you are just to please everyone else. If they think you're a freak or something, that's their problem. And if your best friend truly is that, he? she? will be okay with it. Hell, my best friend is gay. Like, really gay. Thing is, you have to realize that in life, people are going to judge you left and right for one thing or another, let alone that you're gay/lesbian.
The thing I did when I came out as being bisexual is taking it one day at a time. Start throwing out hints at people, like "if you knew someone was gay, what would you think?" Something like that. Just take it slow and let certain people know one by one. If they can't accept it, that's their problem. You should never hide who you are, because it'll slowly kill you inside. That guy I told you about? He denied it for 6 years and when he finally came out, everyone already knew and didn't care. They still love him. Your true friends will act the same way. And he was really relieved. So was I. And even so, there are at least 100 people on here who would talk to you smile I'm one of them. biggrin If you'd like to talk to him, his sn is PhantomRainbow Max on my profile. wink
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:10 am
Thank you. I feel better about myself now biggrin
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:19 am
Demon Fierce
I understand what you are going through. I have been there myself, and as you can plainly see, it is a very difficult thing to do.
Being gay is not wrong in anyway, and if your friends cannot accept you for who you really are, then they honestly are not your friends.
The first step to becoming true to yourself is the realization that you are who you are and that no one can say otherwise. You seem to know what you are, now you just have to personally accept that change.
The second step is to be honest with those you really care about. I DO understand that this can be extremely scary at times, but like Oreo Panda16 said, if they are truly your friends, they will accept you "no matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life." (GAGA)
After that, it is simply a matter of learning to deal with your new lifestyle. There is nothing wrong about it, not matter what people say. Don't let people get you done for being yourself. "Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me."
I hope that you live a wonderful, wonderfully open life. Best wishes, and if you ever need anything, you can always message me. 3nodding
heart PhantomRainbow Max heart
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:21 am
Demon Fierce Thank you. I feel better about myself now biggrin Yay biggrin I did something good! Haha. Totally, dude. You'll be fine. I promise. It always gets worse before it gets better.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:15 pm
This just popped into my head, if you're horrible afraid of coming out yourself.
Have some one, for example a friend, pull you out of the closet.
If push comes to shove, Im doing that.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:16 pm
Oreo Panda16 But the thing is, you can't deny who you are just to please everyone else. If they think you're a freak or something, that's their problem. But it's not his problem. In cases of gay-bullying (which it's obvious there is plenty of at his school) it becomes his problem, when they don't like it. Don't you remember what high-school was like? @OP: Come out to your parents, by all means. They sound like good parents who will love you no less and treat you no differently. As for coming out in school... I guess that depends on how resilient you are to taunts and bullying. It breaks my heart to have to tell you this, but please, be careful. I can't tell you how sick it makes me to even begin to suggest that you deny and bury yourself under such a lie, but you may find that honesty (with people who have no business knowing in the first place) just isn't worth the consequences. Also, please remember... You can always tell them the truth later, but once they know, there is no going back. I hope that helps.
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:18 am
coming out can be extremely difficult and i should know cause i havnt done it yet. but maybe i have i've come up with a weird way a way that not getting it out there but puts away the feeling i'm lieing to the world my answer be honest when asked except when your asked but don't bring it up yourself. im not saying you should do this i'm just saying that's what i do.
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:41 am
Coming out can be pretty tricky. I had been crushing on guys since 8th grade, but because the "normality" of the world didnt allow that, so i basically hid my homsexuality. even in high school, i had to hide it, even though there were soooooo many cute guys there. I came out about 4 months ago and i did it on Facebook. I basically just confessed everything and took the plunge. everyone was really accepting.
so basically, dont be afraid. it's a scary plunge, but the rush you get from revealing the truth can be exhilirating
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:13 am
I as well did post something on facebook but i got messages telling me to take down the post.. so i did.... -teardrop-
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:03 am
Eh I would advice you to come out to your parents first, since they are adults and they will understand if you ask them to not tell anyone. but you must make yourself clear and tell them a few times, make sure they get your message about NOT TELLING ANYONE.
sooner or later you will have to come out to those who love you, like your sis and stuff, but for now let's just start with your parents. I wish the best of luck! keep us posted! <3
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:18 am
Fears and Lies I as well did post something on facebook but i got messages telling me to take down the post.. so i did.... -teardrop- Thats terrible. Spite who ever said that and put up another message, and ignore those assholes.
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:34 am
iLegoBlock Fears and Lies I as well did post something on facebook but i got messages telling me to take down the post.. so i did.... -teardrop- Thats terrible. Spite who ever said that and put up another message, and ignore those assholes. it was a while ago plus i hardly go on fb anymore
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:35 am
Music is Expression...
iLegoBlock Fears and Lies I as well did post something on facebook but i got messages telling me to take down the post.. so i did.... -teardrop- Thats terrible. Spite who ever said that and put up another message, and ignore those assholes. I agree. People go on Facebook and troll, basically. It's extremely stupid. Who are they to judge?
...Music is Emotion
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:33 am
Fears and Lies iLegoBlock Fears and Lies I as well did post something on facebook but i got messages telling me to take down the post.. so i did.... -teardrop- Thats terrible. Spite who ever said that and put up another message, and ignore those assholes. it was a while ago plus i hardly go on fb anymore you might not, but other people do. it'd be a good way to get it out there. especially if you dont get on much, cuz then if people start 'trolling' or harassing you about it, you wont be on to care right? might be worth a shot to not hide it anymore. *shrugs* but what does it matter what i say? i still havnt come out to anyone irl........
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