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 Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:10 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:44 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:24 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 4:45 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 7:56 pm
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Ravyn457 I'm just looking for some advice about my sex drive and related problems...please bear with me. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, and we've been having sex for probably two of those years. He was my first, and I thought I was his first but that wasn't true. I have been trying to enjoy sex, including watching porn and using toys by myself and with him. I have never had an orgasm, and I can't even enjoy sex anymore (I cry every time we have sex). I've come out as bi in the time that I was with him. I'm worried that I might be a lesbian now, especially since I never want to have sex with him. It's putting a strain on our relationship, but I still love him. I don't know what to do. I don't know if it has to do with my sexuality, my depression, or what. I'm confused and worried. I've tried talking to him about it but it just gets me more upset. Any help or suggestions would be great.
Heyy! You mentioned that you had depression. I was wondering if you were taking any pills or some type of treatment that might inhibit your sexual desires; taking drugs usually have their side-effects. If you are, then I would just ask your doctor if they could prescribe you a different type of drug, and explain to them your situation. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you're a lesbian just because when you have sex with him you don't enjoy it, because if you [scenario] have a girlfriend and you sleep with her and find that you don't enjoy having sex with her either then you might just not be interested in sex, which might lead to asexuality. [But don't jump to conclusions] Also, by the way things sound you should be more relaxed if you guys are having sex. So don't worry so much on performance, and just enjoy yourself. When you climax [which I don't think you have yet], a chemical called endorphin and dopamine is released and those chemicals help you to relax and gives you the feel good sensation that you get during an orgasm, so if you're not relaxed you won't be able to climax. Don't force your body to do what it isn't ready to do yet. So don't rush climaxing, and take your time. Some women take longer than others to climax. |
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:13 pm
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CandyBoy955 Ravyn457 I'm just looking for some advice about my sex drive and related problems...please bear with me. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, and we've been having sex for probably two of those years. He was my first, and I thought I was his first but that wasn't true. I have been trying to enjoy sex, including watching porn and using toys by myself and with him. I have never had an orgasm, and I can't even enjoy sex anymore (I cry every time we have sex). I've come out as bi in the time that I was with him. I'm worried that I might be a lesbian now, especially since I never want to have sex with him. It's putting a strain on our relationship, but I still love him. I don't know what to do. I don't know if it has to do with my sexuality, my depression, or what. I'm confused and worried. I've tried talking to him about it but it just gets me more upset. Any help or suggestions would be great. Heyy! You mentioned that you had depression. I was wondering if you were taking any pills or some type of treatment that might inhibit your sexual desires; taking drugs usually have their side-effects. If you are, then I would just ask your doctor if they could prescribe you a different type of drug, and explain to them your situation. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you're a lesbian just because when you have sex with him you don't enjoy it, because if you [scenario] have a girlfriend and you sleep with her and find that you don't enjoy having sex with her either then you might just not be interested in sex, which might lead to asexuality. [But don't jump to conclusions] Also, by the way things sound you should be more relaxed if you guys are having sex. So don't worry so much on performance, and just enjoy yourself. When you climax [which I don't think you have yet], a chemical called endorphin and dopamine is released and those chemicals help you to relax and gives you the feel good sensation that you get during an orgasm, so if you're not relaxed you won't be able to climax. Don't force your body to do what it isn't ready to do yet. So don't rush climaxing, and take your time. Some women take longer than others to climax.
I am on meds, but my doctor doesn't want to change them since we finally got my depression "under control." It's not that I just don't enjoy sex, I also have no desire for it. I don't want to have sex at all. And you're right, I haven't had an orgasm at all yet: I'm 21 and I have no idea how to. |
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Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 6:43 pm
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Ravyn457 Gordums If you and your boyfriend are having sexual intercourse and it's not enjoyable for you, perhaps you two should stop.
If you do find yourself identifying as lesbian, that's perfectly fine. Sexuality is a growing process until we grow into who we are and can understand what we want. Well, we have stopped for the most part. He still asks for it all the time though. It can't be good for our relationship to just stop being intimate after so long together.[/quote My apologies for the late reply, I thought I replied but I guess not.
I think the important thing to remember is that if you do not want sex, don't let your partner coerce you or force you to have sex. THAT is unhealthy.
However, if you explain the situation to him and he understand, great. If not, that may be problematic.
Sex is not a requirement in a relationship. It's healthy with or without mutual sexual activity. If your relationship is built on sex, then you may want to rethink your relationship with this guy.
Sure, after doing it so many times it may become habitual, but it's a habbit you should be able to break because if it's not broken, that in itself is a problem. |
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Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:37 pm
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