A pangender wanting to date a transgender - this could get-

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

interesting.

Now, i'm in a hick part of Texas and only recently came to the (gradual) realization that there's a term for a person like myself who does not fit QUITE into male or female. i mean, i figured i was a bisexual transvestite already, but PANGENDERED took a little getting used to for the idea, but i realize now that this definition fits me. i'm a biological male and i plan to stay that way. My family is a mix of Methodist and Catholic and i only recently came out to my youngest sister as being pangendered - it was a bit of a shock that she was nonchalant about it and was loving and accepting. Granted she's a warm personality and fits well into the Methodist community (i forgive her for voting for McCain xD), but she's probably the only person in my family who would actually get me all that well, even though my other sister (a hard-line Catholic) also has a good grip on my person. i just don't know how to tell the family "I'm pangendered and I am also a transvestite who can't afford nice things."

But recently i've been falling for a transgendered Gaian (FtM) who is from the Dallas area - but in a family that wants "her" (using the biological gender here for the sake of this clause) to date men or, for "her" father's view, just Asian men. As you might have gathered, i'm white.

i might eventually tell him (the TG user) my feelings for him and see what happens from there, but if things get serious, i don't know what to tell my family and friends. i mean, things won't go all too well if i say "I'm dating an FtM Asian person from Dallas and I'm also a transvestite in self-training."

What exactly can i do? Tell them from a distance? All i know is that i want things to go right so that i can still have a connection with my family.  

[OnlyAlexx]

Oh my.
You shouldnt tell them from a distance because they are your family. you'll eventually have to face them anyways. I would say sit everyoe down and tell them all at once but coming from your religious family I dont know if that would play out well.........  

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

OnlyAlexx

Oh my.
You shouldnt tell them from a distance because they are your family. you'll eventually have to face them anyways. I would say sit everyoe down and tell them all at once but coming from your religious family I dont know if that would play out well.........

i'd love to do that but i'm a bit afraid of the questions i'd get.  

[sandrock_buck]

I agree with Alexx, you should sit everyone down and communicate with your family. Yes, they will have a lot of questions for you and yes, these questions will more than likely make you nervous and uncomfortable. My suggestion to you is to study up on what a Pangendered person is and what you feel is you. All you have to do is stand your ground, that'll be the hardest thing about confronting your family about something,if you truly believe you are a pangendered (I'm not saying you aren't, I'm saying you will need to be sure of yourself), then you should stand tall and be proud of who you are. You're family will have two choices, accept you or reject you. They will be more likely to accept you because you're family, and even the ones who DO reject you will probably come to accept you over time.  

[BSPBleach]

definitly tell them to their face. definitly stand your ground. no caving! and yes they'll have questions. they care about you and therefore worry. which creates leaps and heaps of questions. if the questions worry you, try to sit down and think of some, maybe the ones you know you'd rather avoid, and try to think up answers for them beforehand so you feel confident in your ability to answer them. researching might come in handy too xd may also give you ideas of some questions to prep for that you may not have thought of before hand.

(lol totally giving you a similar speech my public speaking and presenting textbook gave me lol )  

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

well, i just declared my wanting to start a relationship.

Not yet ready to say so in real life, but i want to say it in my father's face.
Thanks, guys =)  

[Postpone]

The best thing you can do is be honest and move at your own pace. I'm from rural North Carolina, so I know what you're going through, and most of my family is still trying to accept the fact that I'm gay. I honestly don't know when I'm going bring up the fact that I prefer heels to sneakers. All of that is enough to worry about, let alone the gender dynamics of your developing relationship. Best wishes!