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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:51 am
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Copy-pasta'd from Life Issues cause I'm too tired from Biology 2 class to write it up again:
I'm currently a pre-op/pre-hormone bisexual FtM who is dating a non-op/pre-hormone bisexual MtF for what will be 2 months when I get out for the semester in December. However, over winter holiday, we're going to break the news to our parents and don't know how to say it.
Problem?
My Mom says I'm meant to be dating boys, bisexual people are greedy and that we have to choose one or the other for dating. I came out at age 18 as a lesbian, a year later as transgendered. She has not taken it well either way, so it feels as if there are 2 strikes against me under my belt.
My 'father' of sorts only wants me near Asian boys, but at the same time he doesn't me to hang around boys. Quite a contradiction it is, really. I'm Asian, she's white.
Advice would be lovely for both of us, given how we want to spend New Year's together in a hotel room without our 'rents going ballistic on our asses over being together.
The alibi we came up with is that she's my 'boyfriend', I'm the 'girlfriend'.
Help?
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:13 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:16 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:24 pm
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Sifen Yamishi CheizLord The best thing you can really do is be honest and speak from your heart about how you feel about her. I don't think your parent's necessarily need to know that your partner is a M to F, but just that you really care about her. Sometimes it takes time for people to digest news, so let them know the two of you are dating and see what they say and If they're not ok with it just back off and give them some time. in the meantime show them how much this relationship matters to you and how happy she makes you. Honestly sometimes there's no magically easy way to tell someone something, the best thing you can do is stand your ground through your expression without being too forceful about it. Any suggestions on how to not be forceful? Cause I kinda tend to be like that when upset/overly emotional. sorry I kept editing, uhm, like if youre at the dinner table dont just force it into conversation. It may seem like the thing to do if you want to get them used to the idea or to show how serious you are, but it might have an opposite effect on them and make them feel like youre pressuring them into accepting something that they're still processing. so basically once you tell them leave it at that, they'll come to you to talk about it when theyre ready. and if they're in denial they might not bring it up for a while so you have to be patient.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:30 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:12 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:16 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:19 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:24 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:28 pm
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:35 pm
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Lady Kayura Sifen Yamishi I really do hope it works as well, to be honest. Any ideas on how to start said letter, btw? sweatdrop
You could start it a few ways. I'd say do whatever feels the best. One option is to tell your parents why you're writing a letter instead of just talking to them right off (This is important to me, I want this to be calm and have a calm talk with you so I wrote this letter so I could make sure I'm saying what I really want to say without getting upset/angry/something.) You could also say that you care for them and want them to understand where you're coming from (providing you do care for them). Giving the reason for said letter might work well to ease into it, rather than just jumping to the main point.
I do the same thing, writing letters when I need to discuss important things. I sort of see it like writing a paper for school, you have your intro, the body then the closing. Explain what the letter's about in the intro, make your points and give the info in the body and in the closing you could repeat your points, remind them that you care for them want them to accept you for who you are and this is who you are. >_>
Thanks. If we need anything, we'll PM you. Is that okay? smile
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:44 pm
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