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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:15 pm
So, once in my math class, I was on the subject of some old cartoon with some kids at my table. Aside from myself and my two friends, the table entirely consisted of males. Someone pointed out something about the cartoon (doesn't really matter) and I was like, "OMG THIS CRUSHED MY CHILDHOOD!" Then...one of my female friends said something that really pissed me off. She said, "Girl, you really need to have sex." I was so offended, and she said in what was apparently supposed to be a consoling tone, "No, no, I get it, I used to be like you. I used to nerd out about everything, but then I had sex and now I think about sex all the time." I tried to explain to her that I was waiting until I was in a serious relationship with a boy I really cared about, and that I just wasn't ready until then, and that sleeping with someone that I had only dated a handful of months wasn't alright with me. To me, sex is something intimate and special, especially if it's your first time. She said, "It's okay to date a guy a couple of months and then have sex." and said she was going to set me and my friend up with two guys for us to date for a couple months before having sex with. I was disgusted. She even said she found a boyfriend by asking some random guy, "Hey wanna have sex?" Everything she said horrified me. Now, I usually do not use the term "whore", and she is my friend, but everything she said about sex made me perceive her as MY definition of a "whore" - a female who has many different sexual partners, and does not value the intimacy of sex, and has sex ONLY for the pleasure, and NOT as a way of showing love or affection to someone you care about. Not only was I not ready and I didn't think practically anyone in High School is ready for that step emotionally, but I really don't think I should be worrying about sex and unplanned pregnancy and protection and whatnot at this point in my life. The worst part was when the guy who sat across from me offered to be my "first time". Sure, I can read about people having sex and think about it and stuff. I mean, I know what sex is like, but thinking about having sex with a specific person makes me blush. I don't even like the guy. I think he's ignorant, stupid, and foolish. I think he's a redneck who isn't really going to go anywhere, and I think it's disgusting that he does drugs. I definitely would NOT want to sleep with, kiss, or even DATE him! sad Anyway, is it really so unusual to be a virgin in High School? The only people my age who I KNOW are virgins are nerdy like me.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:23 pm
Wow. I'm sorry but your friend is ******** whore and a bad friend. No friend is suppose to pressure their friend into sex if their not ready. I am almost 18 and I am still a virgin. And I am a nerd but I just don't look it but I get a lot more respect because I am still a virgin and just don't have sex with anyone. Sex should be with someone special that you love and someone that loves you back. Ur friend is going to end up getting hurt or prego. girls like that do. And its annoying,when people see that you are nerdy or look a certain way the assume your a virgin and then if you loose you virginity you look like a new person and act a certain way. I am in my last year of high school and there are very few virgins. even people that are nerds aren't virgins. Just wait till the time is right. People act like being a virgin at 16 is the new 40 year old virgin.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:29 pm
xp No it's not unusual to be a virgin. I am a senior in high school and I am a proud virgin. <3 You are not nerdy or not in a bad way xD I respect you for having to wait I mean what if something bad happens and you get pregnant would it be worth what people had said then? You are doing the right thing. <3 <3 Don't worry I feel really uncomfortable around those people >.> I mean really keep your sex to yourselves.... Who cares...
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:38 pm
Have you ever heard of: The Virgin Diaries? Those people are in the 25+ zone. They have never had sex because like you they were waiting for the right one. They waited to be married before having sex. They are proud of that. Most of the people who say they aren't a virgin are lying. Especially if they're your age and younger. They say they have had sex to seem cool, but trust me those people are seriously regretting it. Being a virgin is something to be proud of. Don't let any take that away form you without consent.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:42 pm
i am sorry your friend is that way. I am 16 and still a virgin. I have a friend that just gave hers and away and she is pregnant. she regrets it and wishes she never did it. I don't even have a boyfriend and wish i did but she is saying girl you got a silver ring, be proud and don't take it off and give it to the right person. wait for the right man.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:49 pm
It's normal to be 16 and still be a virgin. Many people in my school are still a virgin and the one's who aren't seem to battle with emotional problems a lot. D: Either way, I'm not judging and I feel that no one should. It's pretty normal for virgins to look down towards non-virgins and for non-virgins to look down on virgins. Anyway, the point I wanted to make is that it happens to everyone at a different time and I don't think you should rush into it or worry about it. When it happens, it happens. If it doesn't happen anytime soon, then that's okay. You never know when you'll find your perfect guy and you shouldn't lower your expectations just to get some label. [:
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:54 pm
rayrayig2 i am sorry your friend is that way. I am 16 and still a virgin. I have a friend that just gave hers and away and she is pregnant. she regrets it and wishes she never did it. I don't even have a boyfriend and wish i did but she is saying girl you got a silver ring, be proud and don't take it off and give it to the right person. wait for the right man. Thank you so much to you, and to everyone else on this thread. It's really nice to have support from you guys. smile I'm glad you're alread reminding me that it isn't shameful to be a virgin. One more thing I want to ask, specifically from you. I want to get a purity ring...how do I tell my Mom and/or Dad this with out them getting suspicious? Sex is a touchy subject with my Mom and a forbidden subject with my Dad. My Mom doesn't even want me watching the NewlyWeds Game because of their sexual innuendos. XD
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:24 pm
chesiregirl rayrayig2 i am sorry your friend is that way. I am 16 and still a virgin. I have a friend that just gave hers and away and she is pregnant. she regrets it and wishes she never did it. I don't even have a boyfriend and wish i did but she is saying girl you got a silver ring, be proud and don't take it off and give it to the right person. wait for the right man. Thank you so much to you, and to everyone else on this thread. It's really nice to have support from you guys. smile I'm glad you're alread reminding me that it isn't shameful to be a virgin. One more thing I want to ask, specifically from you. I want to get a purity ring...how do I tell my Mom and/or Dad this with out them getting suspicious? Sex is a touchy subject with my Mom and a forbidden subject with my Dad. My Mom doesn't even want me watching the NewlyWeds Game because of their sexual innuendos. XD well I got mine this past year cause my youth group was going to a purity ring show. I guess is what you call it. I told my pastor that I wanted to go. he walked up with me so i could tell my mom.mom looked at me strange and said i can go cause I had lerned about man and wife at marrige and in school learned about it as well and thought it might be a good idea. my menotr went with me and paid for my ring.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:45 pm
You poor dear. You should not feel bad for wanting your first time to be special. I think that most people feel like Virgin is a dirty word. I for one feel like whore,slut,and b***h are far worse words. I wish I had waited to have my first time. I caved at 16 because I felt left out. The guy did not care anything about me,and he was not even my boyfriend. I saw him in the mall when I was with my boyfriend who loves and cares about me and he did not even notice or recognize me. It was because of him that I went celibate for 4 more years. I am somewhat grateful to him because he made room for me to let the right guy go come along. And he gave me the blueprint for what I did not want in a mate.I had friends in high school who wanted to set me up with their friends for sex and I felt like a piece of meat being bargained for.It does not feel good.I went to an all girls school where academics were supposed to be what mattered some of the people were nerds others were popular. We had a health teacher named Mr.King his homework was always "Don't get Pregnant" Needless to say many people failed his class because they showed up pregnant.The majority were the girls who were popular. I would say they were popular because they were giving away more than they should have been. But if you have to give away your body to become popular then its just not worth it. And your friend is not much of a friend if she would tell you your value lies between your legs. I would think your feelings meant more to her than that.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:50 pm
i read half of it before i got disgusted. i believe sex should only be enjoyed in marriage. that way, your ready for anything, such as pregnancy.
your firend just cant do that, sex is too much of a hazard for a highschooler. there' the risk of catching an STD, becoming pregnant, or ruining relationships with your relatives.
your wise, and smart. pls dont give in to peer pressure.
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:10 am
I can tell you now, from a country who currently holds the highest teenage pregnancy rates, that It is a good thing not to have sex before you're ready. I am frankly quite shocked when I overhear (not eavesdropping. You can't call it that when it's being bragged and shouted about.) some girls in my art lessons talking about the "flings" they've had... I've never been a religious person at all, but girls at the age of 15 doing this kind of thing regularly isn't right to me. I don't find it "cool" or " exiting" as a prospect. I got to "No, no, I get it, I used to be like you." and I thought you should drop her as soon as possible and stay the HECK AWAY! But most of all, It's your body, your feelings and your life. You do what you want to do, decide it for yourself smile gaia_angelleft And out of curiosity... which cartoon was it?! gaia_angelright
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:56 pm
Luchina de Marie I can tell you now, from a country who currently holds the highest teenage pregnancy rates, that It is a good thing not to have sex before you're ready. I am frankly quite shocked when I overhear (not eavesdropping. You can't call it that when it's being bragged and shouted about.) some girls in my art lessons talking about the "flings" they've had... I've never been a religious person at all, but girls at the age of 15 doing this kind of thing regularly isn't right to me. I don't find it "cool" or " exiting" as a prospect. I got to "No, no, I get it, I used to be like you." and I thought you should drop her as soon as possible and stay the HECK AWAY! But most of all, It's your body, your feelings and your life. You do what you want to do, decide it for yourself smile gaia_angelleft And out of curiosity... which cartoon was it?! gaia_angelright Thank you very much, and it was Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. smile
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:59 pm
Thats thoughtful of you really most everyone in high school just does what they think will be accepted. (by people that they won't even be seeing years down the line)
Even adults have a tough time in relationships looking at the divorce rates. So if even getting married isn't the key to happiness theres more to it than sex for sure. There is a cerebral aspect to relationships that many don't identify.
So you'll see someone who got married to the wrong person... a person that decided they wanted to take drugs 'just cause'... or those who got swept up in emotion and pop culture..and someone gets pregnant. As an adult they'll see how their life has been shaped by the decisions of a child.
Anyway that great on your part can't even say it enough after running into so many ignorant people that think sex is a relationship.
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:29 pm
I completely agree with you. I'll be 18 in Feb. and I am a proud virgin. I have many friends who have had sex. Three will be mothers before they leave high school and I have driven 7 of my friends to free clinics to be checked for STDs. Being a support system for my friends who have meaningless sex with multiple partners has shown me the serious consequences of having sex, and I don't plan on having sex for a very long time. Your friend doesn't sound like she's thinking of your feelings at all. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this further.
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:08 pm
I didn't have sex until i was 20 years old XD the first time i was drunk in the back seat of a car with a guy i didn't know after i think i got drugged.. beacsue i was passed out for hours after only 3 drinks and someone i didn't know made my drinks and the second time i did it with the person i'm married to now heart although we weren't married when we had sex we had sex 2 years before marrying but i was in love with him when we did have sex and i wouldn't have it any other way. I really regret the way i lost my virginity and wish i hadn't went to that stupid party i wish the very first time would have been with clay.
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