I lied to my bf, and now its eating me alive.Advice?

[Liisukas]

First of all, hello to everyone!

WARNING: Big wall of text coming up...

The thing is that my bf is one of the really jealous type. He gets sad and stuff when ever I go out with friends or when I go to see my granny or something and therefore can't text or call him. He doesn't get violent or anything, he just feels left out I guess, but its like his left out emotion is a lot higher than the average persons.
So there was this one time, where a friend of mine(a guy, he's just an old classmate and a good friend) asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I didn't really think about it and said yes almost immediately, because we hadn't seen for a while since he switched schools and I really wanted us to catch up.
I knew that my bf would be upset about the fact that I'd go to the movies, not to talk about going with another guy. So, I told him that I'm going with one of my classmates(girl). He was a little sad, but handled it pretty well.(why I also couldn't tell him it was a guy, was because me and him haven't had a chance to catch a movie together..like go on a real date..so yeah.. )
And now,when its been like 2 months, maybe less, can't remember the date, this lie is eating me alive. I can't really tell my bf about it, because you have no idea what kind of drama it would cause,(we had a pretty bad fight this summer, so he kinda trusts me less.. it was about me talking to a girl he HATES because he thought she's changing me and getting me all to herself, I haven't even met that girl, we just talked online..but yeah, had to drop all contacts with her ...) but I can't bare the fact that I'm lying to him. I can't sleep at nights because I think of it, it pops to my mind at moments you wouldn't want to.. I try to comfort myself that maybe it will get better with time, and that maybe I would forget about it, but I don't think its going to happen(even though, my mind has a way of blocking memories I don't like)...
Uhh, I have no idea what to do in this situation...right now I feel like I did wrong that I went to see a movie with a guyfriend..but...at the same time I'm kinda angry at my bf, because him and his over protective attitude has made me do something like this, I mean, its not right for me to feel bad every time I go out without him.


Any suggestion girls?
Do you think I did a really bad thing here? :/
If you need any more info about this situation, don't hesitate to ask.

Shzz...This is one long post. and to think it could be even longer with all the small details, because, right now I was keeping it simple burning_eyes

 

[Pseudoyoyomi]

I dunno...what he does not know won't hurt him or you. eek I am not telling you to lie and I am not saying you should keep this from him. I mean in a sense you did not lie really. You only told him a classmate...you just might have gotten the sex wrong. Matters like this I am no good. xp

Okay the right thing to do would be to come clean but that is also the hard thing to do because your bf does not take things lightly. So we need to find a way for you to break it to him gently. If nothing happened except you went to see a movie then you have nothing to be fearful of. Why not take the time to go to a movie with your bf and then a week later tell him. So that way he cannot say to you when was the last time we went to the movies.(My bf tries that on me all the time.)

I know my answers are terrible but I am trying to give you the right thing to do.I know what I would do and I would tell my bf...because there are no secrets between me and him. He even knows that I would leave him if my ideal mate came along. sweatdrop  

[L4uren]

You shouldn't even have to lie to him in the first place - if he wants to be a big baby about everything then that's his problem. >.>

Honestly, since you say it was so long ago, I wouldn't even worry about it. 'every girl is entitled to a secret.' Maybe you just shouldn't it again ;p

 

[Liisukas]

Pseudoyoyomi

I dunno...what he does not know won't hurt him or you. eek I am not telling you to lie and I am not saying you should keep this from him. I mean in a sense you did not lie really. You only told him a classmate...you just might have gotten the sex wrong. Matters like this I am no good. xp

Okay the right thing to do would be to come clean but that is also the hard thing to do because your bf does not take things lightly. So we need to find a way for you to break it to him gently. If nothing happened except you went to see a movie then you have nothing to be fearful of. Why not take the time to go to a movie with your bf and then a week later tell him. So that way he cannot say to you when was the last time we went to the movies.(My bf tries that on me all the time.)

I know my answers are terrible but I am trying to give you the right thing to do.I know what I would do and I would tell my bf...because there are no secrets between me and him. He even knows that I would leave him if my ideal mate came along. sweatdrop

Well, about just saying it was a classmate...I actually told him a name.. x_x
And yeah, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, but its kinda hurting me D:
And I really want to tell him, its just, I think its too soon, even if we'd see a movie and after that I'd tell him (and seeing one is kinda complicated, freakin expensive and we kinda live a bit far apart -_-'' )
And there are no other secrets between us as well, at least I'm not keeping anything else from him.
And you're answers are not terrible, at least you're helping me think about it and get this thing out of my head wink  

[Liisukas]

Aulette

You shouldn't even have to lie to him in the first place - if he wants to be a big baby about everything then that's his problem. >.>

Honestly, since you say it was so long ago, I wouldn't even worry about it. 'every girl is entitled to a secret.' Maybe you just shouldn't it again ;p

I know right ._. ,sometimes I wish I could just tell him to grow up, but yeah...he is kinda older than me..so he could turn it against me stare anyways I still can't help feeling bad about it -_-

Lol, yeah, not thinking about doing again, but I guess a little secret is okay, I mean, he is just a friend, and nothing else happened... I hope this thing stops giving me a head ache and that I can sleep.. its already 5.40am :burn:  

[Pseudoyoyomi]

Liisukas

Well, about just saying it was a classmate...I actually told him a name.. x_x
And yeah, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, but its kinda hurting me D:
And I really want to tell him, its just, I think its too soon, even if we'd see a movie and after that I'd tell him (and seeing one is kinda complicated, freakin expensive and we kinda live a bit far apart -_-'' )
And there are no other secrets between us as well, at least I'm not keeping anything else from him.
And you're answers are not terrible, at least you're helping me think about it and get this thing out of my head wink

My bf and I live apart too. Right now he is in Virginia we did manage to go see a movie maybe a few months ago. I think Aulette is right. Don't tell him if he is not questioning you about it then don't volunteer info. Be like a spy and keep the secret. If he ever asks you about it then tell him but if he never asks then you never tell. (The don't ask don't tell policy) 3nodding  

[Liisukas]

Pseudoyoyomi

My bf and I live apart too. Right now he is in Virginia we did manage to go see a movie maybe a few months ago. I think Aulette is right. Don't tell him if he is not questioning you about it then don't volunteer info. Be like a spy and keep the secret. If he ever asks you about it then tell him but if he never asks then you never tell. (The don't ask don't tell policy) 3nodding

Mine lives like a 3 hour ride by car from me, but since I don't have a driver's licence and a car, I have to visit him by train..which takes a bit longer -_-''
And we've only had like...idk maybe 2 or 3 real dates since we've been together xD
But I guess its the right thing to do, not to tell him, though I'm always afraid that maybe it will slip out from my mouth somehow D: Since I'm always thinking about it.. -_-  

[Pseudoyoyomi]

Liisukas

Mine lives like a 3 hour ride by car from me, but since I don't have a driver's licence and a car, I have to visit him by train..which takes a bit longer -_-''
And we've only had like...idk maybe 2 or 3 real dates since we've been together xD
But I guess its the right thing to do, not to tell him, though I'm always afraid that maybe it will slip out from my mouth somehow D: Since I'm always thinking about it.. -_-

Oh yeah I don't drive either my bf drives and that is the only way I ever get to see him outside of skype. lol
If you are afraid of spilling the beans tell him and take whatever punishment that may befall you. I have had moments where I could not keep it in myself and ended up telling him stuff. I even told him about the crush I had on a guy at my job.lol He shrugged it off because he realized that I had a choice to be with someone else but I chose him...so he did not even care. You should tell your bf I went to the movies with this guy but he is only a friend I choose to be with you. 3nodding  

[PSM Guild Mule]

Why would you want to be with a controlling guy in the first place, tell him that he is your friend and if he doesn't like it then he may file a complaint in his own butt.

 

[Liisukas]

Pseudoyoyomi

Oh yeah I don't drive either my bf drives and that is the only way I ever get to see him outside of skype. lol
If you are afraid of spilling the beans tell him and take whatever punishment that may befall you. I have had moments where I could not keep it in myself and ended up telling him stuff. I even told him about the crush I had on a guy at my job.lol He shrugged it off because he realized that I had a choice to be with someone else but I chose him...so he did not even care. You should tell your bf I went to the movies with this guy but he is only a friend I choose to be with you. 3nodding

At least yours drives, mine doesn't xD, he doesn't even have a driving licence, even though he'll be 25 this year. stare
And I wouldn't get punished, which is like the worst punishment, he'd just make me feel sooo bad and guilty D:
And he doesn't get that choosing thing, he still gets jealous, even if I have made my choice and I've chosen him over other guys -_-
Oh wells, what can I do, I do love him... rolleyes  

[Liisukas]

Subliminal Aftermath

Why would you want to be with a controlling guy in the first place, tell him that he is your friend and if he doesn't like it then he may file a complaint in his own butt.

That made me lol, XD...too bad I don't have the balls to be so direct xD....
And he's not controlling, just over jealous -_-  

[Liisukas]

Anyways, thanks girls for listening. I don't know if I'm going to tell him about it sometime in the future but I do feel better. I guess I just had to get it out and talk about it a little, thank you 4laugh  

[Moxcella]

It kinda sounds like he just wants you all to himself and nobody else. o.o
And thats not fair that he does that to you,and frankly it's borderline emotional
abuse.
There's nothing wrong with seeing a friend that you haven't seen nor
spoken to a while.
Personally i think you should tell your boyfriend[i tell my boyfriend everything and in return he does the same with me there are def no secrets],and if he has a problem with it then
tell him to shove off. There is nothing wrong with seeing a friend[yeah,i bolded that again]
I admit,a little jealously is kinda cute,but not to the extent where it can cause emotional abuse[making you feel bad or guilty]
If he is making you feel like that,then he most likely might be insecure. Especially if he is more than three years older than you. He might be thinking
that you might someday connect with a guy your age and like that guy better.
~ Hope this helped ^-^

 

[Pseudoyoyomi]

Liisukas

At least yours drives, mine doesn't xD, he doesn't even have a driving licence, even though he'll be 25 this year. stare
And I wouldn't get punished, which is like the worst punishment, he'd just make me feel sooo bad and guilty D:
And he doesn't get that choosing thing, he still gets jealous, even if I have made my choice and I've chosen him over other guys -_-
Oh wells, what can I do, I do love him... rolleyes

Yeah mine drives...I know I could pass my driving test easy...I just choose not to.I passed the permit test with 1 thing wrong on the first try.He wants me to learn to drive so he does not have to drive everywhere. sweatdrop

Make your boyfriend learn to drive tell him its about time and it will help you guys to be able to go more places together. 3nodding

He does not get the choosing thing...well he is a male...they never understand us...at all...but wow.He is taking jealous to a whole new level.Some jealousy is good because it keeps things interesting but to this extent it scares me.You poor dear you must feel smothered. crying  

[Liisukas]

Pseudoyoyomi

Yeah mine drives...I know I could pass my driving test easy...I just choose not to.I passed the permit test with 1 thing wrong on the first try.He wants me to learn to drive so he does not have to drive everywhere. sweatdrop

Make your boyfriend learn to drive tell him its about time and it will help you guys to be able to go more places together. 3nodding

He does not get the choosing thing...well he is a male...they never understand us...at all...but wow.He is taking jealous to a whole new level.Some jealousy is good because it keeps things interesting but to this extent it scares me.You poor dear you must feel smothered. crying

Here, getting a driver's licence is a bit more complicated and I don't think I could pass it that easily D: besides it takes a lot of money and time, and money is the reason my bf is not getting a driver's licence any time soon, he's trying to save up to get a place of his/our own also, he needs to see the dentist and get new glasses, which wont be cheap x_x

That's true, he is a male xD
I know right, first I thought it was cute, but now, it really is smothering me a bit, even his friend said it one time when he was drunk and visiting him O.o .. Oh wells, I've told him that the more he smothers me like this, the more I get distant of him, which is true, it backfires on him. .. And since I don't go out that much, I guess this jealousy thing doesn't bother me as much it could. wink