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Should I give it a second try?

Scarlet Weather Rose

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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:48 pm

I've posted on here before about my friend who I was having trouble with for a while. With him acting like he really likes me and me confessing my love to him and him rejecting me. Well lately me and him have been hanging out a lot more. I mean, we have always hanged out at least 2 times a week but recently he's been coming over every day. And he has seemed a lot more affectionate torwards me as well. Like yesterday, I was over at his house and we were alone and we ended up cuddling on his bed for 2 hours talking about random s**t. I convinced myself like 6 months ago that he just didn't like me that way and I got over him. But recently he has me questioning it again and old feelings are starting to return to me. Since it's been a long time anyways since I confessed my love to him, I've been tempted to just come out and talk about it. I've just been too afraid of the outcome. I've been so happy from finally being so close to him again and the last thing I want to do is ruin it. He can still be too insecure with his sexuality to let anything go any further.

Should I just give him more time?
Should I just confront him at the right time?
Or should I just try and get rid these feelings I have for him to avoid being hurt like last time?

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:13 pm

well, there is the slight possibility that initially, being with you wasn't something he had considered, but over time, he may have grown somewhat accustomed to the idea.
this is just a vague assumption, mostly because you said he can still be insecure about his sexuality. it might even be to the point where he would be okay with it if it is never talked about. but either way, if you have a great enough curiosity about what's going on his head, might as well ask him about it, but don't make it too much of a confrontation. ease into it and judge his reaction. everyone always runs the risk of being hurt when emotion is involved, but i guess sometimes the biggest risk is run when you have regrets about things you can't do

Thirteenth_Floor

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Esiris

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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:57 pm

My girlfriend's husband is into me. He said he wanted a relationship with me- and he was ok with my orientation and stuff. I like him as a friend- and wouldn't want to have a sexual relationship with him. I don't just like him as a friend- I need him as a friend. If he added a romantic or sexual part to our relationship it would make things awkward and I'd feel pressured and be unhappy.

I was a lot less affectionate after he told me he wanted to be with me- it took about 9 months before I'd relax and be affectionate with him- the last couple weeks we've cuddled and stuff- but I know if he made a move on me I'd back away again.

If I were you, I'd let him make the first move- that way you don't demand something from him that could ruin your friendship, or at least put it on hold again.

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:21 pm

Scarlet Weather Rose

I agree with both of the above replies; let him make the first move. 'Cuz if you make the first move, it might scare him a little. Don't put any pressure on him. Just go with it.
Give him time and just enjoy that time with him. Eventually, he'll make a move.
You'll have your answer when that time comes.

Gresley Toombs

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Scarlet Weather Rose

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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:07 pm

Thanks for all your feedback. I think I'll do just that and wait for him to make the first move. Love you all. heart

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