the "forever invisible to guys" syndrome

[Tsiklop]

i think I have it.

I've never been very feminine. ever since I got
my hair chopped off at age six, I've been constantly mistaken for a boy. it's not that I look especially masculine, I actually think
my face is too girlish sometimes (like when I crossplay). and my boobs are pretty noticeable.

I think it comes from my mannerisms, honestly. I sit with my legs open, I'm pretty sarcastic and blunt, I'm always joking about inappropriate things... i nee wear makeup unless it's a special occasion and I usually wear jeans and a t shirt out in public. not because I'm insecure about my body, I love my figure most o the time. I just really have that much hotly stuff to work with and I don't like wearing the same thing too many times a month... idk. people assume I'm a lesbian, either because of my haircut or because of the way I act with som of my female friends... we have this thing where we touch each other in awkward places while tryin to keep a straight face and saying "be casual". it's really dumb. basically it's just boob/stomach/face touching. bleh,w/e.

this is just background knowledge and some speculation on my part. the issue is as follows.

I've never really ever had much luck with guys, but it never really bothered me. until now. I don't know why I should start suddenly Carib, but it's really starting to get to me. I've been going to these cosplay meetyps recently, and there's usually a bunch of jokey flirting going on. this one guy seems to hit on all the girls, including my younger sisters. he actually seems to pay special attention to them but whatever. and of course, I'm basically ignored in that respect. everyones holdin hands and being all cuddly and I'm just the awkward third wheel. I've always known my sisters were prettier thane but come on. and then they a get cuddly in te back seat of the van while i just sit in the front forever alone because we sort of drive him to these things. I don't even like him THAT way, I'm just sort of jealous at the special attention.

and in my pottery class, one of the girls at my table said I was a lot like the only guy at our table. he's cool and all and I really didn't mind it at the time. I'm still not offended by it because we are pretty similar in some respects. okay mostly just the audacious sarcasm respect. whatever.

and I realized this week that the only times I've ever been asked out by a dude were when they were trying to make fun of me, or whatever they hoped to accomplish through pretending to beninerested in me. it's mostly just confusing becaus how is that even a good prank to pull on someone. it isn't funny or clever or anything it's just retarded.

it's also actually really depressing that the only time a guy will ask me put is as a joke.

like, am I really so ******** undateable?

and then the guy I'm actually interested in doesn't seems to notice me. well that's not a fair assessment. he knows I exist, and once every couple of days well exchange maybe three words. that's been the extent of our interactions for a while now, even before I told him my feelings in a horrible message I never should have sent. our relationship hasn't changed, which I guess is more than I can say for the last couple of attempts. they just started being outright douches to me (at least it helped me get over them lol).

I don't even know why I'm worrying about this now. I'll be starting college this fall, and moving far away from here. but I already suffer from mil depression an sometimes it hard not to let even the stupid things like this get to you...

i don't even know what I hopes to gain from posting this s**t here... I don't even know if this is something I could actually do anything about, so i woulnt know how o ask for advice... I guess I just sort of wanted to vent??  

[lana_unlucky]

it seems like all the guys in your life are tools and dont deserve your time anyway so screw them. stressed
if you love yourself they dont matter because if they cant see how great you are then they can kick rocks of a cliff. scream
so be happy. heart

 

[Agent Mallard]

You don't need to be girly to be datable. I mean, in some aspects, yes, but it's not as much as effort as you think. I have a friend, who has a boy cut, short hair, only ever wears sweat pants or athletic shorts with tight with weird miss-matched tops, sometimes she'll throw on a dress when it's warm or at parties. She never, EVER wears make-up, she doesn't care about her hair or appearance. She watches anime and How to Train Your Dragon all day and is OBSESSED with Star Wars. She's loud and every other word out of her mouth is '********.' And she has always been that way and this is actually the first time she's not had a boyfriend. And she still has a line of guys that want her. Guys love her, because she loves the way that she is. As cliche as that sounds, it really is all about how you present yourself, and not in the sense of appearance. If you act confident and just work what you have, then that gets guys attention and from there you just work on building a friendship, then relationships, if that's what you want. (:  

[jesusgirl115]

I know this may not be what you want to hear but here it goes...

I'm so glad you typed this out and vented a little. Things like this is what makes us loose ourselves. Our self-confidence, compassion and sometimes relationships with friends and family.

Whatever you do, do not change yourself no guy is worth that, and honestly if he doesn't like you the way you are then he needs...(never mind I'm not going to say it...)

But one day a guy is going to come along and see you standing across the room and his mouth will hit the floor, and you two are going to spend the rest of your happy lives together... <3

All you have to do is wait.

 

[x-Shadow Wind]

You seem like a beautiful girl who just hasn't found the right guy.
Just keep being yourself, and you will find someone who suits you.
heart

 

[Jebrone Kitty]

Alright, so I've found out that guys like LONG hair, doesn't matter what color it is. LONG hair is always IN! Acting girly can only work if you look girly. Now if you show that you are more manly guys are only going to view you as a guy-ish friend (Possibly with benefits) and never a relationship, even if you do it ONCE!  

[Kitty-in-a-hole]

Jebrone Kitty

Alright, so I've found out that guys like LONG hair, doesn't matter what color it is. LONG hair is always IN! Acting girly can only work if you look girly. Now if you show that you are more manly guys are only going to view you as a guy-ish friend (Possibly with benefits) and never a relationship, even if you do it ONCE!

no offence, but this isnt very good advice, she shouldn't change herself for a mans oproval emotion_donotwant  

[Lustnmisery]

I use to have that issue with potential love/like interests. The ironic part was most of my friends were as straight as circles and convincing people I wasn't, was to tough to prove. Just embraced it and live through it because in the end you will find the guy who you will doll up for. Until then you don't need to flaunt what you got to get them to like you.
Falsifications aren't worth the time taken to maintain them.

 

[Jebrone Kitty]

Kitty-in-a-hole

Jebrone Kitty

Alright, so I've found out that guys like LONG hair, doesn't matter what color it is. LONG hair is always IN! Acting girly can only work if you look girly. Now if you show that you are more manly guys are only going to view you as a guy-ish friend (Possibly with benefits) and never a relationship, even if you do it ONCE!

no offence, but this isnt very good advice, she shouldn't change herself for a mans oproval emotion_donotwant

never said she should. But, if one wants a higher chance of obtaining something they desire, than one must do what is more acceptable or accepted. I would prefer she stay the same, and perhaps in the future guys may look at girls differently and prefer this, but as of right now this is what the majority (definition of majority: More than 50%) of guys like.  

[Banshee Cupcake]

I got mistaken for a guy a couple times last year since I always wore baggy shirts and had short hair. I started wearing hair bows this year and go a more feminine wardrobe. But not because I wanted guys to like me, it was more so for myself. I'm not saying you should do the same, but if you do decide to get more femine, start small with letting your hair grow out a bit or wear just a little bit more feminine clothes that your comfortable in. Like maybe a tight but not too tight tunic with leggings, or a sweater dress. It's all up to you but no matter what BE YOURSELF! That's the most important thing! ^-^ Though if your comfortable s you are hen that's great and don't stop that, you just need to find the right guy who sees you for you and loves you for who you are.  

[rcatgurl]

I try to be guyish cause i'm tired of the strotypical girl.
exceot mum won;'t let me cut my hair or wear baggy clothes.
oneday i got so pissed.
I had knee length hair, and i cut it off, to above my hips.
You should have seen her face.
That b***h was redder than a tomato.
first hair cut haha!  

[Atomic Poppy]

Ohmahgawd dude. I AM JUST LIKE YOU O: I act like a total boy and I act like that with my friends just for the fun of it and I am a pervert 24/7 >.>
You don't have to be girly and stuff to date. You gotta be smart enough to make them like you as a friend and stuff and you gotta be seductive enough to make them want you. Well that's what my cousin says LOL butstill.
Just be yourself and you'll find someone whose worth your time.  

[Stormy Werewolf]

Omfg...
this seriously sounds exactly like me.
I don't have short hair, but that's only because I hate people touching my hair. My last hair cut was two years ago. O_O
I never comb it. xD At graduation I decided to try, and everyone was like, "OMG YOU DID IT!" .yeah.
^ random sorry.

But seriously, going through exactly the same thing. (A bit younger.)
Honestly, I don't care. I've always been more into foreign guys anyway..and I don't get along with the guys around here anyway.
I'm actually kind of a feminazi..;o
I'm not exactly sure where you live..but assuming you live in the U.S..don't worry about it. I'm tired of these all these girls like..I don't even know how to phrase it..sucking up to guys? Like, seriously doing things just for the sake of getting noticed by a guy? That's just not right. Guys in the U.S are so lucky.
Everywhere else, they are more "courtly" and "gentlemanly". Here, even the ugly, mean, guys could get a girl in the blink of an eye. Girls throw themselves at guys. It's just sad.
^long feminist rant. D: sorry

Anyway, seriously stay the way you are and you'll find a REAL GUY. Not the shitty kind around here. :3
You'll find someone who appreciates your personality, and not just some douche. ^^  

[Tsiklop]

Stormy Werewolf

Omfg...
this seriously sounds exactly like me.
I don't have short hair, but that's only because I hate people touching my hair. My last hair cut was two years ago. O_O
I never comb it. xD At graduation I decided to try, and everyone was like, "OMG YOU DID IT!" .yeah.
^ random sorry.

But seriously, going through exactly the same thing. (A bit younger.)
Honestly, I don't care. I've always been more into foreign guys anyway..and I don't get along with the guys around here anyway.
I'm actually kind of a feminazi..;o
I'm not exactly sure where you live..but assuming you live in the U.S..don't worry about it. I'm tired of these all these girls like..I don't even know how to phrase it..sucking up to guys? Like, seriously doing things just for the sake of getting noticed by a guy? That's just not right. Guys in the U.S are so lucky.
Everywhere else, they are more "courtly" and "gentlemanly". Here, even the ugly, mean, guys could get a girl in the blink of an eye. Girls throw themselves at guys. It's just sad.
^long feminist rant. D: sorry

Anyway, seriously stay the way you are and you'll find a REAL GUY. Not the shitty kind around here. :3
You'll find someone who appreciates your personality, and not just some douche. ^^

oh yeah dont worry i have no intention of changing myself just to get a guy
im not the type to give in to the patriarchy so easily
i was just feeling really lonely and depressed when i made this topic honestly, i know ill find someone eventually if i just stay myself VuV  

[Stormy Werewolf]

fabulous dahling

Stormy Werewolf

Omfg...
this seriously sounds exactly like me.
I don't have short hair, but that's only because I hate people touching my hair. My last hair cut was two years ago. O_O
I never comb it. xD At graduation I decided to try, and everyone was like, "OMG YOU DID IT!" .yeah.
^ random sorry.

But seriously, going through exactly the same thing. (A bit younger.)
Honestly, I don't care. I've always been more into foreign guys anyway..and I don't get along with the guys around here anyway.
I'm actually kind of a feminazi..;o
I'm not exactly sure where you live..but assuming you live in the U.S..don't worry about it. I'm tired of these all these girls like..I don't even know how to phrase it..sucking up to guys? Like, seriously doing things just for the sake of getting noticed by a guy? That's just not right. Guys in the U.S are so lucky.
Everywhere else, they are more "courtly" and "gentlemanly". Here, even the ugly, mean, guys could get a girl in the blink of an eye. Girls throw themselves at guys. It's just sad.
^long feminist rant. D: sorry

Anyway, seriously stay the way you are and you'll find a REAL GUY. Not the shitty kind around here. :3
You'll find someone who appreciates your personality, and not just some douche. ^^

oh yeah dont worry i have no intention of changing myself just to get a guy
im not the type to give in to the patriarchy so easily
i was just feeling really lonely and depressed when i made this topic honestly, i know ill find someone eventually if i just stay myself VuV

Yup...
yes please ignore some of the other posts....i was lol-ing @ the "long hair" one.