So, hi everyone, I'm Starless. I don't know if there are any sorority girls out there, but even if you're not one and have advice, it's greatly appreciated! So the story is, despite not thinking I'd be interested, I rushed this week, and I had a great time! There are only four sisterhoods at my school, and there's one where I knew a ton of girls, but I kept myself open. After the first night, I had ranked them, and unfortunately, my second choice cut me after the first night, so I only had two options left. I consistently ranked one sorority first every night. I loved it. When I went to pref night, I felt like I was home, like I was finally going to be in a group, not on the awkward outskirts of one. I love those girls desperately, and they told me they saw things in me that I saw in them, and it may only have been due to number crunches. They were so excited for me to hopefully become a sister. The other group were wonderful friends, but not the same.

When I ranked the sororities, I thought I would want a bid, even if it wasn't my first choice. Unfortunately, much later in the night and today, after it was too late, I realized I should have only listed that one sorority. I would be crushed if I didn't get that one.

Well, I was crushed. I got my second choice. But I don't know if I can do it. I was actually going to decline the bid until I was told I could drop out between now and initiation, and rush again next spring, with no repercussions from any sorority. So I went to bid day, but my mentor was awkward and kind of ignored me, and the girls (especially one) I sat with were kind of bitchy and made fun of one of the sisters when she talked. If I drop out, I am NOT allowed to do informal fall recruitment, I have to wait until the spring. So, what are your opinions.

Some extra info:
- The weekend prior to this, my closest friend here turned out to be a manipulative b***h, and I had to end the friendship. I was counting one really having a wonderful family I would be so excited to join. ...Except I only kind of do right now.
- There are girls in my current sorority that really want me to be there! I feel like I'd be hurting them if I dropped out, but I just don't have that feeling...
- A ton of girls in my hall got into my first choice. However, all week they had all wanted a different one, one I did not like. Apparently after more meetings, they changed their minds. I know it's irrational but I can't help but think "...you took my spots. I wanted them, the entire week, way before you, and you just decided last minute, 'oh, never mind, we like you'." sad

Sorry for the super long post, I just don't know what to do. If I stay, I may be settling for somewhere I'm not really supposed to be, and I could be miserable. If I go, I could hurt some really wonderful people or be missing out on something that's supposed to be. Please help!