What to do When the Girl You Love is Straight

[Ivy_sins]

Anyone know what to do in such a situation?

I'm bi, with a higher interest with being a girl for the rest of my life rather than a guy (although I have a daughter with a guy that I really was in love with...no, he and I are not together anymore), and the problem with this for me is that I live in a very small, rural town in the Bible Belt.
You can probably guess from that there is far less tolerance for the way I feel, but those girls who are also bi/lesbian are younger than I am (as in, immature and in the beginning of high school) or they are the opposite of my type of girl.

So, the girl I'm in love with is perfect to me: she's smart, beautiful, funny, adorable, likes the outdoors, likes animals, loves to see a movie and grab some take out, and understands my own, odd personality.

She knows I am bi and has never had a problem with it -- she doesn't even care when we stay together and stay in the same bed and we wake up and my head is resting on her back or shoulder. She used to be bi-curious, but I don't think she is anymore, because she's dating a guy and they've gotten serious enough to talk about a future family.

But, I love and care about her enough that I am just happy she's finally found someone who is better for her than anyone I've seen her with in the past. I enjoy her company deeply and miss her quite often, although we try to make time for each other between an infant, and her work and college.

Anyway...I'm not sure how to go about being in love with pretty much by best friend and being sure I will have a terribly hard time finding someone else where I live (and have no means to move elsewhere currently).

Mood: Okay
Music: Te Amo
Activity: TV  

[Uisce a]

I need to know the answer to this question too. I'm in love with my best friend who is straighter than the straighest person in the world. I've been trying to fall out of love with her but it is hard so I'm just going to give in and, maybe, tell her?

 

[DrksStoryteller9000]

i fell in love with my best friend and told her. she doesnt care, but i cant tell how she feels about me and i cant get it out of her, yes ive been secretly trying to get the answer out of her without her realizing it. but, i feel so strongly about her that i dont know what to do? i wish i could help out, but im kind of having the same problem.  

[Falsequivalence]

I've been on the other end of what your talking about (Though I'm male, so it might change something?)
Anyway, when my best friend told me how he felt about me, I was quite shocked, but little changed. Eventually, he fell out. But our relationship was changed. I was no longer the one he went to for emotional stuff, and it kinda sucked.
I advise trying to not speak about it, unless you're sure they're at least somewhat into you.
You may eventually fall out. Hopefully.  

[Ivy_sins]

Fatestitcher

I've been on the other end of what your talking about (Though I'm male, so it might change something?)
Anyway, when my best friend told me how he felt about me, I was quite shocked, but little changed. Eventually, he fell out. But our relationship was changed. I was no longer the one he went to for emotional stuff, and it kinda sucked.
I advise trying to not speak about it, unless you're sure they're at least somewhat into you.
You may eventually fall out. Hopefully.

I'm sorry to hear that it went that way for you, but at least you're able to share it with others like me. Thank you for that, and I will keep it to myself so I don't bother what she has going for her now. smile I hope you two continue to be friends!  

[Falsequivalence]

Ivy_sins

Fatestitcher

I've been on the other end of what your talking about (Though I'm male, so it might change something?)
Anyway, when my best friend told me how he felt about me, I was quite shocked, but little changed. Eventually, he fell out. But our relationship was changed. I was no longer the one he went to for emotional stuff, and it kinda sucked.
I advise trying to not speak about it, unless you're sure they're at least somewhat into you.
You may eventually fall out. Hopefully.

I'm sorry to hear that it went that way for you, but at least you're able to share it with others like me. Thank you for that, and I will keep it to myself so I don't bother what she has going for her now. smile I hope you two continue to be friends!

No problem love.
And we are still friends, but not as close as we used to be. He got awkward around me, and he still is sometimes. But we still talk and stuff.  

[Symptom_of_Society]

Straight up, cold rejection is a quick cure to love.  

[D3monic_Dark_Angel]

hmm well u can still go out with her if u feel right about it  

[Shadow Ra Warrior]

This is the point where you let her go. It's clear that she is moving on with her life and maybe you should too. Don't find nobody else so quickly; take time to pace yourself. Seeing what you wrote, you will need time for yourself to let her go. Things at this rate are not what they used to be and it's time to say goodbye. Just let her go.

Same advise for Uisce and Dragonlord; maybe just let them go before you cause pain on yourself. Some things in life are just never meant to be.  

[peppermintpatchwork]

yum_tea yum_puddi yum_strawberry yum_tea

Whatever you do, just don't try to push your feelings on her. You can tell her you love her but it may or may not just make everything a lot more awkward. This has happened to me before and thankfully I was able to fall out of love with them, but really that's the best I can try to offer. Just keep trying to fall out of love with her, or try to extinguish your feelings to more of a "I love you, but it's okay if you don't love me, I'll try to move on but if I don't then I just want you to be happy."

On the other hand though, she sounds lovely smile

yum_tea yum_puddi yum_strawberry yum_tea  

[GrandSoleil]

My advice - you will love her truly enough to let her decide. Maybe you should let on that you don't care either way anymore, you're just happy to have her at all. She'll come 'round, patience is a virtue my friend. (:

 

[BSPBleach]

Falling out of love is hard. I havn't managed. I just keep reminding myself that as much as i love them, they don't feel the same and obsessing over it wont help. Sure it still hurts but at least i can stay friends with them  

[SoulsVixen]

Wow, she seems like my kinda girl, too. You shouldn't try to force it on her and you should try to keep your friendship intact. I would love to support you more, but there's probably someone who can say it better or has all ready said. In your rough spot, sometimes it's best to let go. She already has someone, right? And she seems happy... It'll hurt but giving her up so she can be happy... Should be good enough...  

[Prussian Imperial Guard]

The Neko CatGirl

Straight up, cold rejection is a quick cure to love.

Not for me it isn't.  

[aleceil]

Well, I'd usually take a crack at the girl and they eventually kinda ''lead'' into the way I swing buuuuuuuut then a boy comes a long and then I'm thrown off