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 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:32 pm
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911child Aquatic_blue 911child Aquatic_blue 911child heh, lets see, when i was born i had two rare heart conditions the doctors gave me a 10% chance to survive because they have never seen the two heart conditions together as well as saying that if i did live i'd live to be 7, within the first 3 or 5 months i died about 3 times and had a stroke that killed a part of my brain, mostly the part that deals with math, social skills and other things i am unsure of. The stroke also took out my right eye, leaving me legally blind with minimal vision and knocking it to the right, so i see to the right of me. Growing up i never knew my birth father, he ran off on my mom and my younger brother. Growing up i had 2 different step dads, one who was in and out of jail, and one who beat me cause, well. i dont know. but i also had to deal with my moms selfishness. My mom and i used to get along, but once i started to get beat (roughly from elementary school to my sophomore year of high school, during this time i went to time i went to church, though i never wanted to go because i felt God abandoned me because of how long the beatings went, and just had hate for people as well as thought and believe God didnt exist. when i was at my freshmen year of high school i felt that no one loved me and turned to porn (still struggling with it). I eventually fed up with getting beat, and turning to porn i broke down and cried to God, asking him that if he was there to help me, and if he was real and did help'd me that i'd believe in him. i also told him that i had didnt know where to turn. during this time i became friends with a guy who was a very religious christian, and we got to hanging out and now are best friend, back on track. After i asked God for help within 3 weeks my step dad put my through dry wall and i hit a support beam and couldnt get out because i was in pain, after my mom found me and helped me out i told her to do something about it or i will, and if i did she wouldnt like it. then my step dad decided to hit me for telling my mom what happened so i locked myself in my room and called the cops, then my mom came in and i handed her the phone and told her the cops are on the line, and to deal with him. within years we moved from my step dads house to a woman shelter and then to a house, from there me and my mom clashed at every turn, then we moved three more times and i then ran from my mom's house and now live with my grandma. I went to the local high school and graduated and received my diploma (i thank God for letting me graduate cause i am horrible in school) I now feel that me and God are way closer then we used to be about 5 or 6 years ago (heh bad at math) i feel i mad major progress, as well as thank God for allowing me to defy doctors (i am 20, soon to be 21. i was supposed to die by what the doctors said 13 years ago. but i live all thanks to God.). Now i give my live to God, asking him to help me live by his word. ^_^ i think i am doing well. Wow, now that is a heavy testimony and wasn't all that long. It's amazing how God can keep us going! I am sorry you had to go through so much. Although, it seems like in the end, it made you a stronger person. I am incredibly glad that you are alive and well. Considering you still have quite a bit of functioning in your brain...I would say it's amazing due to the heart conditions and the stroke. To me, it's a bit silly sometimes when doctors say someone has so many days, weeks, months, or years to live simply because of something they'd never seen before. God can work miracles and he does so every day! Thank you for sharing your testimony smile it was truly inspiring! Its ok, i learned the true nature of those who were to keep me safe. Yeah i am very sure i got stronger from the situation, and thanks. sorry if this response seems dis-interested or what not, i am not feeling to well, and i thought it would be rude to ignore it until i felt better. No worries smile feel better soon! ^_^ get some good rest smile heh ok, and if i was a normal person i would sleep well, heh though i am an insomniac and a narcoleptic. Basically i cant sleep when i want and when i do sleep it usually is during the day and against my will
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that sad well, just get well then ^_^ |
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:35 pm
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Aquatic_blue 911child Aquatic_blue 911child Aquatic_blue 911child heh, lets see, when i was born i had two rare heart conditions the doctors gave me a 10% chance to survive because they have never seen the two heart conditions together as well as saying that if i did live i'd live to be 7, within the first 3 or 5 months i died about 3 times and had a stroke that killed a part of my brain, mostly the part that deals with math, social skills and other things i am unsure of. The stroke also took out my right eye, leaving me legally blind with minimal vision and knocking it to the right, so i see to the right of me. Growing up i never knew my birth father, he ran off on my mom and my younger brother. Growing up i had 2 different step dads, one who was in and out of jail, and one who beat me cause, well. i dont know. but i also had to deal with my moms selfishness. My mom and i used to get along, but once i started to get beat (roughly from elementary school to my sophomore year of high school, during this time i went to time i went to church, though i never wanted to go because i felt God abandoned me because of how long the beatings went, and just had hate for people as well as thought and believe God didnt exist. when i was at my freshmen year of high school i felt that no one loved me and turned to porn (still struggling with it). I eventually fed up with getting beat, and turning to porn i broke down and cried to God, asking him that if he was there to help me, and if he was real and did help'd me that i'd believe in him. i also told him that i had didnt know where to turn. during this time i became friends with a guy who was a very religious christian, and we got to hanging out and now are best friend, back on track. After i asked God for help within 3 weeks my step dad put my through dry wall and i hit a support beam and couldnt get out because i was in pain, after my mom found me and helped me out i told her to do something about it or i will, and if i did she wouldnt like it. then my step dad decided to hit me for telling my mom what happened so i locked myself in my room and called the cops, then my mom came in and i handed her the phone and told her the cops are on the line, and to deal with him. within years we moved from my step dads house to a woman shelter and then to a house, from there me and my mom clashed at every turn, then we moved three more times and i then ran from my mom's house and now live with my grandma. I went to the local high school and graduated and received my diploma (i thank God for letting me graduate cause i am horrible in school) I now feel that me and God are way closer then we used to be about 5 or 6 years ago (heh bad at math) i feel i mad major progress, as well as thank God for allowing me to defy doctors (i am 20, soon to be 21. i was supposed to die by what the doctors said 13 years ago. but i live all thanks to God.). Now i give my live to God, asking him to help me live by his word. ^_^ i think i am doing well. Wow, now that is a heavy testimony and wasn't all that long. It's amazing how God can keep us going! I am sorry you had to go through so much. Although, it seems like in the end, it made you a stronger person. I am incredibly glad that you are alive and well. Considering you still have quite a bit of functioning in your brain...I would say it's amazing due to the heart conditions and the stroke. To me, it's a bit silly sometimes when doctors say someone has so many days, weeks, months, or years to live simply because of something they'd never seen before. God can work miracles and he does so every day! Thank you for sharing your testimony smile it was truly inspiring! Its ok, i learned the true nature of those who were to keep me safe. Yeah i am very sure i got stronger from the situation, and thanks. sorry if this response seems dis-interested or what not, i am not feeling to well, and i thought it would be rude to ignore it until i felt better. No worries smile feel better soon! ^_^ get some good rest smile heh ok, and if i was a normal person i would sleep well, heh though i am an insomniac and a narcoleptic. Basically i cant sleep when i want and when i do sleep it usually is during the day and against my will Aw, I'm sorry to hear that sad well, just get well then ^_^
heh its ok ^_^ |
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:15 pm
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This is a personal testimony of mine, the first one I've ever recorded in detail but not the first I had experienced. It is the most recent event that had happened to me. Copied and pasted from my computer:
2/15/12
Here's an inspiration for you:
I am still shocked by what happened today after high school. Every student has to write a chapel talk and present it on a specific date in the year, and I had been postponing it because I was reluctant to do it; therefore, I waited until the last minute. Today was really pressuring for me because all the teachers came up to me to nag me about my speech and that it had to be done NOW because my practice presentation is tomorrow. I threw back a few resistant complaints and cried twice out of frustration and stress. I had a pretty bad day today on February 15.
When I got home, my mom was stern with me, telling me she had gotten a call from one of my teachers, and they had also noted I may have a sign of depression. I acted snappish and felt like a jerk.
I trudged upstairs to wash my face (I have oily skin), and when I patted it dry with a towel, a thought came to me in a very quiet voice saying, You need to have a talk with God. You cannot hide this from Him, and you cannot get through your problems alone. Go talk to Him. Now, this was merely a suggestion that the Holy Spirit strongly recommended me to do in what appeared to be a thought of my own... but the words didn't belong to me. I could have turned down the suggestion if I had wished to, but I was feeling like crud and agreed that I needed to converse with God.
So I began, wracking my brain for something to say and how to address God with my issue, "God, I'm sorry that I haven't been talking to you normally in a while. I've only been running to you when I needed help, and I feel like I haven't properly had a father/daughter talk for so long... I realize that I can't just think about myself when everything's fine and suddenly need your help when life goes wrong. Please forgive me. But Lord, I ask again for your help because I'm feeling depressed, and I don't know how I'll get my entire speech written. Lord, I really need you to give me the strength and motivation to finish my paper and to take away my depression. Amen."
I was sobbing a bit (for the third time) because it's so emotional for me to pray to God. I often cry when talking to Him because I love Him... I came back downstairs and sat at the kitchen table with my mom. I felt so strangely at ease, and I had the strongest urge to give my mother a hug and a kiss. I told my mom of my prayer to God and how I suddenly felt calm afterwards. We both knew God had immediately and willingly taken away the horrible feeling in my heart. He had heard me.
My mom and I began on my speech, going over brainstormed ideas written on a scrap sheet of paper, and I typed away on my iPad (with a separate keyboard that links to my iPad through wireless BlueTooth) with my mom helping me along. My dad finally came home from work, for we could see, sitting by the window, that his car pulled in the driveway. Supper was ready, and afterwards I returned to working on my speech. All of a sudden, the Pages document crashed, and I was unable to return back to my essay. I could open up any of my other Pages documents, but not the one that had crashed: the one with my speech. I started getting anxiety attacks, and my mom asked my dad to figure out the problem and recover the document (he's an engineer and a whiz on technology). My mind retrospected to earlier in the afternoon to the voice in my head that told me now was the time to speak with God and and to my prayer, trying to follow the voice's advice that I couldn't do this without Him, but I didn't have much luck calming myself down with those recent memories. I tried to assure myself that God was in control of everything that happened. And I had nothing to fear. But still...I was doubting.
Then, with such love shining in her eyes, my mom gazed directly at me, took both of my hands into hers, and said, "Have you ever heard of faith?" I was astonished, and I could only stare at her, dumbfounded, as she looked at me with such intensity...full of love!
"Mom, you read my mind," I could only answer.
She smiled. "God will do anything for you if you will only have faith in Him. You need to trust in Him completely that everything will work out."
Then we prayed together, still holding hands, for God to help my dad retrieve the document again. I still doubted that even if I put all my faith into God saving my speech document (which if it was never found again, I would burst into tears), the document would never be recovered, and all my hard work and effort would be lost. I was extremely worried and afraid something bad would happen. "But Mom, what if my paper's gone?"
"It won't be," she assured me confidently. "Your dad will find it again, I promise you. Put your trust in God, and your paper will be found. There's no reason to be scared because He is in control and always there for you."
I found myself holding hands tightly with her as if I was afraid that if I let my hands go, then God wouldn't recover my chapel talk document. It was a silly notion, but I felt rather safe and peaceful holding hands with her. I didn't want to let go. My mom casually suggested I write down any thoughts pertaining to the essay that could be added. I was hesitant and timidly explained to her I didn't want to write at the moment. She smiled as if she was amused and stated, "Are you afraid that God won't save your speech if we let our hands go?"
I sighed. "Mom, you read my mind again." So, I cautiously unlaced our intertwined fingers, breathing an inner sigh of relief when I found I was still in a calm state of mind. A Bible verse came to mind, and I told my mother, "Jesus said that if I had faith as small as a mustard seed, I could say to this mountain, 'move' and it will be done. Nothing will be impossible for me if my faith in God is strong enough." (Matthew 17:20 Paraphrased)
(An hour later)
My dad traveled back downstairs with my iPad and some pages printed out. He told me my speech document had corrupted, but he was able to copy the manuscript and email it to me. The pages printed out were the manuscript, my speech with a few strange symbols added here and there. I deleted the weird text from the document and – ta da – my document was a new one with my speech in it! I was so excited and thankful to God for supporting me as much as He did. I couldn't thank Him enough for what He had done. I later told my mom that I believed the Holy Spirit spoke to me through her because of the overwhelming love pouring out of her, and she said she believed so, as well, because she felt the love of the Spirit (yeah, at that time my mom had been acting freaky like she was somebody else). I also concurred to my mom that the Spirit aided my dad in recovering my crashed speech. He had no idea how or why it crashed when all the other documents were perfectly fine. Definitely something bizarre happened!
My mom and I came to the conclusion that God chose the right time for my document to crash on me. He allowed it to happen at the perfect time: after my dad had come home (to fix it for me later on). He let it crash on purpose, I believe, so that I could rely on Him and try to convince myself over and over: Everything will be fine! Everything goes according to God's plan! Trust in Him! He was helping me grow stronger in my faith as I had asked Him. This was where a Bible verse came to mind along with a mental image of Jesus standing on the waves and one of His disciples, Peter, coming toward Him before realizing he was walking on water and panicked. He cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus caught him so Peter wouldn't sink and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:22-31 Paraphrased)
When those verses came to mind, I had asked God, "Lord I want to have faith in you. Please strengthen my faith!" In this case, God was doing exactly that. He caused my iPad to do a weird thing so my faith would grow even more.
Yes, my faith has been strengthened even more, and after my confrontation with God, He remained active all throughout the evening, making His presence obviously known. I'm just in a state of shock and admiration for what a wonderful Father He is!!! My speech is finally done, for I have been working on it for 8 hours. I'm relieved that it's over with and so proud with what I've written! Too bad I wasn't able to do any of my other homework. Still, I knew that God had helped me even if it wasn't what I expected. When you ask God for help, He often aids you in ways you do not expect or do not like. Whatever the reason God chooses to do it that way, He must see very good results and that this, whatever it is, is the best way out of all the possible choices.
"And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." (John 14:13 KJV)
Yeah, that's my story. On February 22nd when I was leaving art class early so I can get to chapel where I would meet Mary Heyward and Kaylie, two of my classmates who were also going to give speeches, I went into the restroom to wash my clay-covered hands. Before I did that, I prayed to the Lord to give me the strength to speak and to calm my anxiety. Butterflies were wildly dancing in my stomach, and I knew I couldn't do this without God. When I had said, "Amen," the bathroom door suddenly opened and a girl casually walked in. I immediately went to washing my hands and pretended nothing happened.
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." (Matthew 6:6 KJV)
I had prayed in secret, and God rewarded me openly with my chapel talk presentation and with the compliments that soon followed for three days before the weekend and a little bit the week after. Countless people came up to me in shock, saying that my delivery was powerful and inspirational; one person had even admitted my speech made them shiver (because of the power). I couldn't do it like I did without a supernatural force such as God. I humbly refuse to take all the glory, because it was God who had delivered the speech, not me. So I'm giving all the credit to the Rightful Owner. He is faithful to me as I am faithful to Him, and I declare that without God I am nothing. I am nothing without God.
"Lord, I could not ever thank you enough..."
Read Psalm 91
~Dramatica Angeliqua
Edit: In case you were wondering about my chapel talk, I will post it below. I am deaf and have lived a life under some deep depression and struggles in making friends. I am right now slowly catching up in social skills, but I've been judged for my deafness by other people in school, especially in middle school. Thankfully, high school is so much better. There's been a lot of mean girls in my life who would yell at me and ask if I heard them or isolate me and not speak to me at all. Despite my appearance, I'm not a popular girl like you may think of me to be. I've never been popular, and I'm happy to be this way because I've chosen amazing friends (finally after being a loner for so long!), most of whom are Christians, and they don't care who I am or what handicaps I may possess. God gave me my friends as a gift of His love, and they are the nicest people I've ever met. Even through my emotional struggles in life, my hearing loss humbles me and brings me closer to God.
"In that day the deaf will hear the words of the scroll, and out of gloom and darkness the eyes of the blind will see. Once more the humble will rejoice in the Lord; the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. The ruthless will vanish, the mockers will disappear, and all who have an eye for evil will be cut down—those who with a word make a man out to be guilty, who ensnare the defender in court and with false testimony deprive the innocent of justice." (Isaiah 29:18-21 NIV)
"The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor." (Matthew 11:5 NIV)
"Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the LORD." (Leviticus 19:14 NIV)
"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope," (Romans 5:3-4 ESV)
Chapel Talk (by me, Calen Wright):
Life in the Mainstream
(mouths)
Did you hear me? I am hearing-impaired, and silence is what I hear much of the time. I wear hearing aids, but in the morning when I'm not wearing them, I hear nothing; just silence. At school, my teachers wear a microphone much like a necklace so their voices are amplified to my ears. But sometimes in class when the teacher is speaking through the microphone and someone says something to me at the same time, their voice is drowned out by the teacher's voice. I faintly hear them but can't distinguish what they're saying. In the hallways it is much the same: the sound of what seems to be a thousand voices coupled with laughter along with the sound of slamming locker doors overwhelm me and snuff out the voices of people I converse with. Social dilemmas in the cafeteria also occur because I am bombarded with a room full of people talking simultaneously, so I usually sit quietly during lunch because it is too difficult for me to hear a single voice.
I was born with a hearing loss, but my parents weren't aware of it until I was two years old. All the other preschoolers were talking up a storm, but I was silent with no real language except for gibberish. The only way I could hear myself was if I yelled at the top of my lungs, earning me the reputation as the loudest child at Nanny's Nursery.
To find out why I wasn't speaking, my parents took me to my pediatrician, who referred us to the University of Tennessee Speech and Hearing for a hearing test. I took the test, and the results made my mom cry. I was diagnosed with a moderately-severe-to-severe bilateral sensorineural hearing loss, which means that in both ears the hair cells in my cochlea are damaged. My mom was heartbroken, knowing that what was in my future was questionable. She didn't know if I would be able to accomplish what Hearing people could: if I could enjoy music, play sports, or be successful academically.
When I was three and received my first pair of hearing aids, immediately my world came to life. I heard a jet plane soaring in the sky, I heard birds chirping in the trees, and the TV was not a boring piece of furniture anymore but one of entertainment because, before, I never paid attention to it. I could hear voices, and my silent world was overwhelmed with magical sound.
My parents decided to send me to UT Speech and Hearing for speech therapy from age three to age nine so that I could learn how to listen and speak. I worked hard to master speech and was very successful. At age five, my parents decided I was ready to start kindergarten, so they went to the Knox County School System to see if I could be accepted. However, their school authorities thought I was unable to handle the challenge. They said, "Sorry, she's not ready to start kindergarten." They crossed their arms, leaned over the desk where my parents were sitting, and declared, "And even if she makes it through kindergarten, she will not make it through first grade. And music will never be in Calen's future. She won't be able to differentiate between the tones." My parents knew I was so much more capable than the authorities had claimed and decided to not let the public school system take responsibility for my education. So, my parents chose to send me to Webb.
In the lower school, I wore my hair in a ponytail daily and was unconcerned about my appearance. However, when I reached middle school, my life took a sudden sharp turn. As if a card had been flipped over, I became deeply self-aware of my appearance and difference. In middle school, no one wants to be different. The only solution I knew for my difference was to attempt to hide it and pretend it wasn't there. Covering my hearing aids behind my hair wasn't a problem, but the microphone was a whole other story. My peers probably thought the microphone the teachers had to wear was cool, but in my mind it was detestable and served as a taunting reminder that I was "inferior."
I have a secret, or at least that's what I like to think. I know many of you were aware that I have hearing loss, but to some of you this is a surprise. I always keep my hair down to conceal my hearing aids because I'm afraid of being judged. Another reason why I try to hide my "secret" is because I hope that people will see me for who I really am as a normal person and not care that I have an invisible disability.
Even though the Knox County School authorities said I wouldn't make it through kindergarten and definitely not first grade, I did. I proved them wrong. Even with a disadvantage as minor as a hearing loss, I can do anything except hear. I have been able to live a normal life thanks to my favorite audiologist, Dr. Sally Baerman, for fitting me with my high-powered, digital hearing aids which help me thrive in the Hearing world. Thanks for current technology such as my CaptionCall phone, which allows me to read what the caller is saying along with closed-caption on my TV. Thanks to Mrs. Jean Helbig, who has been teaching me to play the piano these past 8 years, and I can differentiate between the tones. And for helping me to effectively communicate with my mom without hearing aids in the morning, thanks to Mrs. Gay Baker for teaching me ASL. To Mrs. Deb Hotchkiss, Ms. Alex Ardison, Mrs. Jane Webb, and all the high school teachers, thank you so much for supporting me through my Webb School experience, and to my mom and my dad for having such strong faith in me. Thank you and Announcements are next.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:28 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:26 pm
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911child heh, lets see, when i was born i had two rare heart conditions the doctors gave me a 10% chance to survive because they have never seen the two heart conditions together as well as saying that if i did live i'd live to be 7, within the first 3 or 5 months i died about 3 times and had a stroke that killed a part of my brain, mostly the part that deals with math, social skills and other things i am unsure of. The stroke also took out my right eye, leaving me legally blind with minimal vision and knocking it to the right, so i see to the right of me. Growing up i never knew my birth father, he ran off on my mom and my younger brother. Growing up i had 2 different step dads, one who was in and out of jail, and one who beat me cause, well. i dont know. but i also had to deal with my moms selfishness. My mom and i used to get along, but once i started to get beat (roughly from elementary school to my sophomore year of high school, during this time i went to time i went to church, though i never wanted to go because i felt God abandoned me because of how long the beatings went, and just had hate for people as well as thought and believe God didnt exist. when i was at my freshmen year of high school i felt that no one loved me and turned to porn (still struggling with it). I eventually fed up with getting beat, and turning to porn i broke down and cried to God, asking him that if he was there to help me, and if he was real and did help'd me that i'd believe in him. i also told him that i had didnt know where to turn. during this time i became friends with a guy who was a very religious christian, and we got to hanging out and now are best friend, back on track. After i asked God for help within 3 weeks my step dad put my through dry wall and i hit a support beam and couldnt get out because i was in pain, after my mom found me and helped me out i told her to do something about it or i will, and if i did she wouldnt like it. then my step dad decided to hit me for telling my mom what happened so i locked myself in my room and called the cops, then my mom came in and i handed her the phone and told her the cops are on the line, and to deal with him. within years we moved from my step dads house to a woman shelter and then to a house, from there me and my mom clashed at every turn, then we moved three more times and i then ran from my mom's house and now live with my grandma. I went to the local high school and graduated and received my diploma (i thank God for letting me graduate cause i am horrible in school) I now feel that me and God are way closer then we used to be about 5 or 6 years ago (heh bad at math) i feel i mad major progress, as well as thank God for allowing me to defy doctors (i am 20, soon to be 21. i was supposed to die by what the doctors said 13 years ago. but i live all thanks to God.). Now i give my live to God, asking him to help me live by his word. ^_^ i think i am doing well.
Wow, I am sincerely touched by your story... Your earthly fathers treated you horribly, but there is just one more father out there who claims you as His own... God! You can't even imagine how much He cares for you and thinks about you. Father's Love Letter to you, a Child of God:
My Child,
You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God
Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications
© 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com |
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 10:11 pm
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Dramatica Angeliqua 911child heh, lets see, when i was born i had two rare heart conditions the doctors gave me a 10% chance to survive because they have never seen the two heart conditions together as well as saying that if i did live i'd live to be 7, within the first 3 or 5 months i died about 3 times and had a stroke that killed a part of my brain, mostly the part that deals with math, social skills and other things i am unsure of. The stroke also took out my right eye, leaving me legally blind with minimal vision and knocking it to the right, so i see to the right of me. Growing up i never knew my birth father, he ran off on my mom and my younger brother. Growing up i had 2 different step dads, one who was in and out of jail, and one who beat me cause, well. i dont know. but i also had to deal with my moms selfishness. My mom and i used to get along, but once i started to get beat (roughly from elementary school to my sophomore year of high school, during this time i went to time i went to church, though i never wanted to go because i felt God abandoned me because of how long the beatings went, and just had hate for people as well as thought and believe God didnt exist. when i was at my freshmen year of high school i felt that no one loved me and turned to porn (still struggling with it). I eventually fed up with getting beat, and turning to porn i broke down and cried to God, asking him that if he was there to help me, and if he was real and did help'd me that i'd believe in him. i also told him that i had didnt know where to turn. during this time i became friends with a guy who was a very religious christian, and we got to hanging out and now are best friend, back on track. After i asked God for help within 3 weeks my step dad put my through dry wall and i hit a support beam and couldnt get out because i was in pain, after my mom found me and helped me out i told her to do something about it or i will, and if i did she wouldnt like it. then my step dad decided to hit me for telling my mom what happened so i locked myself in my room and called the cops, then my mom came in and i handed her the phone and told her the cops are on the line, and to deal with him. within years we moved from my step dads house to a woman shelter and then to a house, from there me and my mom clashed at every turn, then we moved three more times and i then ran from my mom's house and now live with my grandma. I went to the local high school and graduated and received my diploma (i thank God for letting me graduate cause i am horrible in school) I now feel that me and God are way closer then we used to be about 5 or 6 years ago (heh bad at math) i feel i mad major progress, as well as thank God for allowing me to defy doctors (i am 20, soon to be 21. i was supposed to die by what the doctors said 13 years ago. but i live all thanks to God.). Now i give my live to God, asking him to help me live by his word. ^_^ i think i am doing well. Wow, I am sincerely touched by your story... Your earthly fathers treated you horribly, but there is just one more father out there who claims you as His own... God! You can't even imagine how much He cares for you and thinks about you. Father's Love Letter to you, a Child of God: My Child,
You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God
Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications
© 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com
^_^ thank you for that, one in particular made me cry.
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
This one really hits home cause my mom for some reason told me that (and im using her words) i was a mistake and unplanned for.
and i am not mad and my earthly birth dad because he apologized for leaving and told me that my mom was just a pain. I am still upset he left but i am putting that behind me and we see each other about 3 weeks every year cause he lives in Florida and i live in Cali. again i thank you, for showing me this. |
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:02 am
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Well, I'm brand new to this forum but here's my testimony! Just as a note, if you feel uncomfortable reading certain things, you might want to skip over labeled parts of my testimony. I'm putting it all out here. Also, I'm not sure the denominational background of people, but just so you know - I have no denomination that I cling to anymore; so, anything on this testimony that disagrees with any denominational doctrine, please do not try to debate with me - I do not debate on doctrines.
----
I was born in Valdosta, GA, in 1989 and my early life was pretty normal, actually. My dad was stationed at Moody AFB, went to Kunsan for training, came back and we were then stationed at Wright Pat for his last year in the Air force. I was home schooled for Kindergarten, and after that one year in Ohio we moved down to Alabama to live near my grandparents.
Things really started taking a turn down hill by the time we had to move into my grandparents' home after losing the house. We weren't poor, though. Any time I wanted to spend time with dad playing a video game or something, he would always say, "Maybe later, Joshua." It got to a point where he was constantly on the computer. By the time I was ten years old, I could my Mom and Dad didn't really talk a lot, and Mom came to me one night and asked me if I would like to move to Okinawa, Japan. I told her, "Sure! Is Dad coming with us?" She told me, "No, he's not." I then asked her, "Oh...are you two thinking about getting a divorce?" She said, "Well yeah, I thought we would!" My response was, "Oh, well tell Dad that I love him!" No emotions.
Now, normally a biblical reason for a divorce is infidelity or abuse, both of which my mom does NOT take. Plus even if a man tried to abuse her, HE would end up being the one on the ground. smile
Anyway, I'll just say their reason is a very UNIQUE one. That's all I'm saying on that.
We moved to Okinawa, Japan in November of 1999 and this beautiful place became our home. I attended DODEA schools from 5th grade, until I graduated high school in June of 2007.
Throughout my school life, I faced a lot of bullying. When I was in middle school, I was often called many words that I won't repost here simply because some may not be comfortable reading them. But, y'all probably get the picture; they were derogatory words for homosexual. I've always been a soft-hearted individual with a very flamboyant nature and a very artsy mind that loves music, art, designs, colors, etc. I'm also a philosopher. My mind is constantly thinking about certain beliefs, and whether or not the belief is accurate or true.
See, I also started becoming attracted to guys and so I began thinking I was gay. With the people calling me gay, that didn't help me! When I got into high school, I seriously believed I was!
[Next part includes some things that may not be comfortable to read]
When I was thirteen, I started looking at pornographic images....of men. By the time I was fifteen, I was webcamming with other guys, often doing strip teases. By the time I was sixteen, I labeled myself as being a homosexual. It was what I honestly thought I was!
[Section done]
By the time I was seventeen, I had already been in a few relationships, even gotten kissed, and almost had sex with another guy. Fortunately, I've always been a chicken!
When I turned eighteen, the end of my senior year, I had finally reached a certain point. See, there's a scripture I always ended up reading (mom was big into studying prophecy):
"Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire." (Rev 20:15; NIV)
Deep down, I knew that my name was not in the Lamb's Book of Life - that if I were to stand before Yeshua HaMashiyach (Jesus Christ), I would be sent into destruction. So, deep down there was a conviction.
One night, I fell to my knees in my bedroom and cried out, "Lord! I need help! Please help me!"
It is written, "We know that God doesn't listen to sinners, but he is ready to hear those who worship him and do his will." (John 9:31; NLT)
I certainly fit the bill of being a sinner! But, I knew that God looks at the heart of a person (1 Sam 16:7).
Within only a few months, that prayer was answered, along with the ones my Mom had been praying.
I was in a Yahoo chat room when suddenly I got an IM from somebody! They asked me, "Is this Joshua ?" I said, "...Yes....who are you?" They then told me, "I am an angel of the Lord, and He has sent me. . ." Definitely straightforward, if I say so myself! Now granted, I didn't believe them one bit at first, but they told me that their job was not to have me believe who THEY are, but for me to believe in the One True God as my Savior and Lord.
As I said before, I'm the philosopher type. I ask questions...MANY OF THEM. I even asked them, "How do I know you're not a demon trying to lead me away??" He chuckled, and simply replied with, "Now Joshua, if I were a demon would I be leading you TO Christ, or away from him?" They made a good point!
So time went on and I gradually noticed the Lord making changes in my life. My language started changing, and other stuff too! Some say you have to have this SUDDEN change to be a Christian....what a bunch of bull!
Though, I did end up going to a church and I made a public confession. I was standing at the altar, when suddenly this wind blew through me. As soon as this wind blew through me I heard God say to my spirit, "My child, you are forgiven!"
For anyone who's grown up in pentecostal/charismatic circles, this next part isn't anything new.
My pastor came back and began teaching on the Holy Spirit. Well, being the brand new Christian, uncorrupted by man's teachings, I simply wanted all that God had for me. I wanted all of His promises. Next thing I know, I could feel the Spirit of God just come over me like fire and out of my mouth came the most absolutely beautiful language I had ever heard. And from that point on, it seems I began growing at a very fast rate.
Shortly after this, in about February of 2008, I remember leaning at my bed and simply saying, "Lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Now, you have to be careful about that! God WILL have us do WHATEVER! razz
I simply heard one word from the Holy Spirit. He said, "Prophet." My response? "Awesome!...what is that?" I sensed that the Lord chuckled a bit at my response. People claim God is so serious...child, please!! Jesus can be quite crazy at times! And quite hilarious! smile I mean, just look at the Platypus!
Anyways, so from that point on I began learning much about what it was that the prophets did...I've heard various people tell me that prophets are no longer around, and that all gifts have ceased, that we only have the Bible and that any supposed manifestation is of the devil. Here's my problem with those beliefs - they are absolutely false and erroneous. God does not change, has not changed, and never will change. These same gifts are being handed out today. How do I know? I look at the fruit of the person. If it's good, it can't be of satan. Plain and simple.
It wasn't until early 2011 when this gift began really manifesting; since that point, I've seen God say some very amazing things (or heard, rather?). The messages God has given to people have always resulted in them glorifying HIM and they end up getting past whatever stumbling block was before them.
Ultimately, no matter what people try to tell me is Truth, I know that Truth is found if one seeks it out, sometimes in very unconventional places. And all I know is that our God IS God, and that He sent his son into this world to redeem us from our sins. What I do know is that Jesus Christ is God in flesh. All else is up for verification.
Do I still struggle with homosexuality? Of course. What most fail to realize is that this specific struggle CAN'T be overcome with programs, 10 steps, etc. All that stuff is quite legalistic, actually, and if we focus on our sins that we're trying to overcome, we'll actually sin more. We need to keep our focus on Jesus Christ alone. He IS our Righteousness, He IS our holiness, and He IS our salvation (1 Cor 1:30).
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:06 pm
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Dramatica Angeliqua This is a personal testimony of mine, the first one I've ever recorded in detail but not the first I had experienced. It is the most recent event that had happened to me. Copied and pasted from my computer: 2/15/12 Here's an inspiration for you: I am still shocked by what happened today after high school. Every student has to write a chapel talk and present it on a specific date in the year, and I had been postponing it because I was reluctant to do it; therefore, I waited until the last minute. Today was really pressuring for me because all the teachers came up to me to nag me about my speech and that it had to be done NOW because my practice presentation is tomorrow. I threw back a few resistant complaints and cried twice out of frustration and stress. I had a pretty bad day today on February 15. When I got home, my mom was stern with me, telling me she had gotten a call from one of my teachers, and they had also noted I may have a sign of depression. I acted snappish and felt like a jerk. I trudged upstairs to wash my face (I have oily skin), and when I patted it dry with a towel, a thought came to me in a very quiet voice saying, You need to have a talk with God. You cannot hide this from Him, and you cannot get through your problems alone. Go talk to Him. Now, this was merely a suggestion that the Holy Spirit strongly recommended me to do in what appeared to be a thought of my own... but the words didn't belong to me. I could have turned down the suggestion if I had wished to, but I was feeling like crud and agreed that I needed to converse with God. So I began, wracking my brain for something to say and how to address God with my issue, "God, I'm sorry that I haven't been talking to you normally in a while. I've only been running to you when I needed help, and I feel like I haven't properly had a father/daughter talk for so long... I realize that I can't just think about myself when everything's fine and suddenly need your help when life goes wrong. Please forgive me. But Lord, I ask again for your help because I'm feeling depressed, and I don't know how I'll get my entire speech written. Lord, I really need you to give me the strength and motivation to finish my paper and to take away my depression. Amen." I was sobbing a bit (for the third time) because it's so emotional for me to pray to God. I often cry when talking to Him because I love Him... I came back downstairs and sat at the kitchen table with my mom. I felt so strangely at ease, and I had the strongest urge to give my mother a hug and a kiss. I told my mom of my prayer to God and how I suddenly felt calm afterwards. We both knew God had immediately and willingly taken away the horrible feeling in my heart. He had heard me. My mom and I began on my speech, going over brainstormed ideas written on a scrap sheet of paper, and I typed away on my iPad (with a separate keyboard that links to my iPad through wireless BlueTooth) with my mom helping me along. My dad finally came home from work, for we could see, sitting by the window, that his car pulled in the driveway. Supper was ready, and afterwards I returned to working on my speech. All of a sudden, the Pages document crashed, and I was unable to return back to my essay. I could open up any of my other Pages documents, but not the one that had crashed: the one with my speech. I started getting anxiety attacks, and my mom asked my dad to figure out the problem and recover the document (he's an engineer and a whiz on technology). My mind retrospected to earlier in the afternoon to the voice in my head that told me now was the time to speak with God and and to my prayer, trying to follow the voice's advice that I couldn't do this without Him, but I didn't have much luck calming myself down with those recent memories. I tried to assure myself that God was in control of everything that happened. And I had nothing to fear. But still...I was doubting. Then, with such love shining in her eyes, my mom gazed directly at me, took both of my hands into hers, and said, "Have you ever heard of faith?" I was astonished, and I could only stare at her, dumbfounded, as she looked at me with such intensity...full of love! "Mom, you read my mind," I could only answer. She smiled. "God will do anything for you if you will only have faith in Him. You need to trust in Him completely that everything will work out." Then we prayed together, still holding hands, for God to help my dad retrieve the document again. I still doubted that even if I put all my faith into God saving my speech document (which if it was never found again, I would burst into tears), the document would never be recovered, and all my hard work and effort would be lost. I was extremely worried and afraid something bad would happen. "But Mom, what if my paper's gone?" "It won't be," she assured me confidently. "Your dad will find it again, I promise you. Put your trust in God, and your paper will be found. There's no reason to be scared because He is in control and always there for you." I found myself holding hands tightly with her as if I was afraid that if I let my hands go, then God wouldn't recover my chapel talk document. It was a silly notion, but I felt rather safe and peaceful holding hands with her. I didn't want to let go. My mom casually suggested I write down any thoughts pertaining to the essay that could be added. I was hesitant and timidly explained to her I didn't want to write at the moment. She smiled as if she was amused and stated, "Are you afraid that God won't save your speech if we let our hands go?" I sighed. "Mom, you read my mind again." So, I cautiously unlaced our intertwined fingers, breathing an inner sigh of relief when I found I was still in a calm state of mind. A Bible verse came to mind, and I told my mother, "Jesus said that if I had faith as small as a mustard seed, I could say to this mountain, 'move' and it will be done. Nothing will be impossible for me if my faith in God is strong enough." (Matthew 17:20 Paraphrased) (An hour later) My dad traveled back downstairs with my iPad and some pages printed out. He told me my speech document had corrupted, but he was able to copy the manuscript and email it to me. The pages printed out were the manuscript, my speech with a few strange symbols added here and there. I deleted the weird text from the document and – ta da – my document was a new one with my speech in it! I was so excited and thankful to God for supporting me as much as He did. I couldn't thank Him enough for what He had done. I later told my mom that I believed the Holy Spirit spoke to me through her because of the overwhelming love pouring out of her, and she said she believed so, as well, because she felt the love of the Spirit (yeah, at that time my mom had been acting freaky like she was somebody else). I also concurred to my mom that the Spirit aided my dad in recovering my crashed speech. He had no idea how or why it crashed when all the other documents were perfectly fine. Definitely something bizarre happened! My mom and I came to the conclusion that God chose the right time for my document to crash on me. He allowed it to happen at the perfect time: after my dad had come home (to fix it for me later on). He let it crash on purpose, I believe, so that I could rely on Him and try to convince myself over and over: Everything will be fine! Everything goes according to God's plan! Trust in Him! He was helping me grow stronger in my faith as I had asked Him. This was where a Bible verse came to mind along with a mental image of Jesus standing on the waves and one of His disciples, Peter, coming toward Him before realizing he was walking on water and panicked. He cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus caught him so Peter wouldn't sink and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:22-31 Paraphrased) When those verses came to mind, I had asked God, "Lord I want to have faith in you. Please strengthen my faith!" In this case, God was doing exactly that. He caused my iPad to do a weird thing so my faith would grow even more. Yes, my faith has been strengthened even more, and after my confrontation with God, He remained active all throughout the evening, making His presence obviously known. I'm just in a state of shock and admiration for what a wonderful Father He is!!! My speech is finally done, for I have been working on it for 8 hours. I'm relieved that it's over with and so proud with what I've written! Too bad I wasn't able to do any of my other homework. Still, I knew that God had helped me even if it wasn't what I expected. When you ask God for help, He often aids you in ways you do not expect or do not like. Whatever the reason God chooses to do it that way, He must see very good results and that this, whatever it is, is the best way out of all the possible choices. "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." (John 14:13 KJV) Yeah, that's my story. On February 22nd when I was leaving art class early so I can get to chapel where I would meet Mary Heyward and Kaylie, two of my classmates who were also going to give speeches, I went into the restroom to wash my clay-covered hands. Before I did that, I prayed to the Lord to give me the strength to speak and to calm my anxiety. Butterflies were wildly dancing in my stomach, and I knew I couldn't do this without God. When I had said, "Amen," the bathroom door suddenly opened and a girl casually walked in. I immediately went to washing my hands and pretended nothing happened. "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." (Matthew 6:6 KJV) I had prayed in secret, and God rewarded me openly with my chapel talk presentation and with the compliments that soon followed for three days before the weekend and a little bit the week after. Countless people came up to me in shock, saying that my delivery was powerful and inspirational; one person had even admitted my speech made them shiver (because of the power). I couldn't do it like I did without a supernatural force such as God. I humbly refuse to take all the glory, because it was God who had delivered the speech, not me. So I'm giving all the credit to the Rightful Owner. He is faithful to me as I am faithful to Him, and I declare that without God I am nothing. I am nothing without God. "Lord, I could not ever thank you enough..." Read Psalm 91 ~Dramatica Angeliqua Edit: In case you were wondering about my chapel talk, I will post it below. I am deaf and have lived a life under some deep depression and struggles in making friends. I am right now slowly catching up in social skills, but I've been judged for my deafness by other people in school, especially in middle school. Thankfully, high school is so much better. There's been a lot of mean girls in my life who would yell at me and ask if I heard them or isolate me and not speak to me at all. Despite my appearance, I'm not a popular girl like you may think of me to be. I've never been popular, and I'm happy to be this way because I've chosen amazing friends (finally after being a loner for so long!), most of whom are Christians, and they don't care who I am or what handicaps I may possess. God gave me my friends as a gift of His love, and they are the nicest people I've ever met. Even through my emotional struggles in life, my hearing loss humbles me and brings me closer to God.
"In that day the deaf will hear the words of the scroll, and out of gloom and darkness the eyes of the blind will see. Once more the humble will rejoice in the Lord; the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. The ruthless will vanish, the mockers will disappear, and all who have an eye for evil will be cut down—those who with a word make a man out to be guilty, who ensnare the defender in court and with false testimony deprive the innocent of justice." (Isaiah 29:18-21 NIV)
"The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor." (Matthew 11:5 NIV)
"Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the LORD." (Leviticus 19:14 NIV)
"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope," (Romans 5:3-4 ESV)
Chapel Talk (by me, Calen Wright):
Life in the Mainstream
(mouths)
Did you hear me? I am hearing-impaired, and silence is what I hear much of the time. I wear hearing aids, but in the morning when I'm not wearing them, I hear nothing; just silence. At school, my teachers wear a microphone much like a necklace so their voices are amplified to my ears. But sometimes in class when the teacher is speaking through the microphone and someone says something to me at the same time, their voice is drowned out by the teacher's voice. I faintly hear them but can't distinguish what they're saying. In the hallways it is much the same: the sound of what seems to be a thousand voices coupled with laughter along with the sound of slamming locker doors overwhelm me and snuff out the voices of people I converse with. Social dilemmas in the cafeteria also occur because I am bombarded with a room full of people talking simultaneously, so I usually sit quietly during lunch because it is too difficult for me to hear a single voice.
I was born with a hearing loss, but my parents weren't aware of it until I was two years old. All the other preschoolers were talking up a storm, but I was silent with no real language except for gibberish. The only way I could hear myself was if I yelled at the top of my lungs, earning me the reputation as the loudest child at Nanny's Nursery.
To find out why I wasn't speaking, my parents took me to my pediatrician, who referred us to the University of Tennessee Speech and Hearing for a hearing test. I took the test, and the results made my mom cry. I was diagnosed with a moderately-severe-to-severe bilateral sensorineural hearing loss, which means that in both ears the hair cells in my cochlea are damaged. My mom was heartbroken, knowing that what was in my future was questionable. She didn't know if I would be able to accomplish what Hearing people could: if I could enjoy music, play sports, or be successful academically.
When I was three and received my first pair of hearing aids, immediately my world came to life. I heard a jet plane soaring in the sky, I heard birds chirping in the trees, and the TV was not a boring piece of furniture anymore but one of entertainment because, before, I never paid attention to it. I could hear voices, and my silent world was overwhelmed with magical sound.
My parents decided to send me to UT Speech and Hearing for speech therapy from age three to age nine so that I could learn how to listen and speak. I worked hard to master speech and was very successful. At age five, my parents decided I was ready to start kindergarten, so they went to the Knox County School System to see if I could be accepted. However, their school authorities thought I was unable to handle the challenge. They said, "Sorry, she's not ready to start kindergarten." They crossed their arms, leaned over the desk where my parents were sitting, and declared, "And even if she makes it through kindergarten, she will not make it through first grade. And music will never be in Calen's future. She won't be able to differentiate between the tones." My parents knew I was so much more capable than the authorities had claimed and decided to not let the public school system take responsibility for my education. So, my parents chose to send me to Webb.
In the lower school, I wore my hair in a ponytail daily and was unconcerned about my appearance. However, when I reached middle school, my life took a sudden sharp turn. As if a card had been flipped over, I became deeply self-aware of my appearance and difference. In middle school, no one wants to be different. The only solution I knew for my difference was to attempt to hide it and pretend it wasn't there. Covering my hearing aids behind my hair wasn't a problem, but the microphone was a whole other story. My peers probably thought the microphone the teachers had to wear was cool, but in my mind it was detestable and served as a taunting reminder that I was "inferior."
I have a secret, or at least that's what I like to think. I know many of you were aware that I have hearing loss, but to some of you this is a surprise. I always keep my hair down to conceal my hearing aids because I'm afraid of being judged. Another reason why I try to hide my "secret" is because I hope that people will see me for who I really am as a normal person and not care that I have an invisible disability.
Even though the Knox County School authorities said I wouldn't make it through kindergarten and definitely not first grade, I did. I proved them wrong. Even with a disadvantage as minor as a hearing loss, I can do anything except hear. I have been able to live a normal life thanks to my favorite audiologist, Dr. Sally Baerman, for fitting me with my high-powered, digital hearing aids which help me thrive in the Hearing world. Thanks for current technology such as my CaptionCall phone, which allows me to read what the caller is saying along with closed-caption on my TV. Thanks to Mrs. Jean Helbig, who has been teaching me to play the piano these past 8 years, and I can differentiate between the tones. And for helping me to effectively communicate with my mom without hearing aids in the morning, thanks to Mrs. Gay Baker for teaching me ASL. To Mrs. Deb Hotchkiss, Ms. Alex Ardison, Mrs. Jane Webb, and all the high school teachers, thank you so much for supporting me through my Webb School experience, and to my mom and my dad for having such strong faith in me. Thank you and Announcements are next.
Thank you for your testimony, it is inspiring - along with the beautiful poem you wrote with it smile it's cool that you got so much opportunity through the Webb School. I just find it so disappointing that schools refuse to take in children and say that they aren't "capable". That can do so much damage to a child and even the parents. It truly bothers me because sometimes people who don't "seem" capable of things - become better than most people at a lot of things! ASL can be a lot of work, but I always found it fun smile I remember when I was a kid, I had a friend who was hearing impaired at school. I wanted to communicate and always saw the hearing impaired teacher using her hands to do sign language. I went to the library and looked at a bunch of books and tried really hard to learn it. I learned a lot of common phrases and it made me happy to be able to speak with my friend in a way that she understood smile I remember being able to do that a bit in middle school when I'd see her from time to time.
I will tell you that you are a special person and God made you the way he did with a purpose and hopefully you find that purpose if you haven't found it already biggrin God made us all the way he did for a reason.
The way you describe your testimony, it just reminds me of trials I've gone through in my lifetime as well and figured I would share. I'm glad that God has been able to work in your life and that you have been incredibly successful smile We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us ^_^ (Sorry that I typed so much). |
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 12:25 am
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jb-pichu Well, I'm brand new to this forum but here's my testimony! Just as a note, if you feel uncomfortable reading certain things, you might want to skip over labeled parts of my testimony. I'm putting it all out here. Also, I'm not sure the denominational background of people, but just so you know - I have no denomination that I cling to anymore; so, anything on this testimony that disagrees with any denominational doctrine, please do not try to debate with me - I do not debate on doctrines. ---- I was born in Valdosta, GA, in 1989 and my early life was pretty normal, actually. My dad was stationed at Moody AFB, went to Kunsan for training, came back and we were then stationed at Wright Pat for his last year in the Air force. I was home schooled for Kindergarten, and after that one year in Ohio we moved down to Alabama to live near my grandparents. Things really started taking a turn down hill by the time we had to move into my grandparents' home after losing the house. We weren't poor, though. Any time I wanted to spend time with dad playing a video game or something, he would always say, "Maybe later, Joshua." It got to a point where he was constantly on the computer. By the time I was ten years old, I could my Mom and Dad didn't really talk a lot, and Mom came to me one night and asked me if I would like to move to Okinawa, Japan. I told her, "Sure! Is Dad coming with us?" She told me, "No, he's not." I then asked her, "Oh...are you two thinking about getting a divorce?" She said, "Well yeah, I thought we would!" My response was, "Oh, well tell Dad that I love him!" No emotions. Now, normally a biblical reason for a divorce is infidelity or abuse, both of which my mom does NOT take. Plus even if a man tried to abuse her, HE would end up being the one on the ground. smile Anyway, I'll just say their reason is a very UNIQUE one. That's all I'm saying on that. We moved to Okinawa, Japan in November of 1999 and this beautiful place became our home. I attended DODEA schools from 5th grade, until I graduated high school in June of 2007. Throughout my school life, I faced a lot of bullying. When I was in middle school, I was often called many words that I won't repost here simply because some may not be comfortable reading them. But, y'all probably get the picture; they were derogatory words for homosexual. I've always been a soft-hearted individual with a very flamboyant nature and a very artsy mind that loves music, art, designs, colors, etc. I'm also a philosopher. My mind is constantly thinking about certain beliefs, and whether or not the belief is accurate or true. See, I also started becoming attracted to guys and so I began thinking I was gay. With the people calling me gay, that didn't help me! When I got into high school, I seriously believed I was! [ Next part includes some things that may not be comfortable to read] When I was thirteen, I started looking at pornographic images....of men. By the time I was fifteen, I was webcamming with other guys, often doing strip teases. By the time I was sixteen, I labeled myself as being a homosexual. It was what I honestly thought I was! [ Section done] By the time I was seventeen, I had already been in a few relationships, even gotten kissed, and almost had sex with another guy. Fortunately, I've always been a chicken! When I turned eighteen, the end of my senior year, I had finally reached a certain point. See, there's a scripture I always ended up reading (mom was big into studying prophecy): "Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire." (Rev 20:15; NIV) Deep down, I knew that my name was not in the Lamb's Book of Life - that if I were to stand before Yeshua HaMashiyach (Jesus Christ), I would be sent into destruction. So, deep down there was a conviction. One night, I fell to my knees in my bedroom and cried out, "Lord! I need help! Please help me!" It is written, "We know that God doesn't listen to sinners, but he is ready to hear those who worship him and do his will." (John 9:31; NLT) I certainly fit the bill of being a sinner! But, I knew that God looks at the heart of a person (1 Sam 16:7). Within only a few months, that prayer was answered, along with the ones my Mom had been praying. I was in a Yahoo chat room when suddenly I got an IM from somebody! They asked me, "Is this Joshua ?" I said, "...Yes....who are you?" They then told me, "I am an angel of the Lord, and He has sent me. . ." Definitely straightforward, if I say so myself! Now granted, I didn't believe them one bit at first, but they told me that their job was not to have me believe who THEY are, but for me to believe in the One True God as my Savior and Lord.
As I said before, I'm the philosopher type. I ask questions...MANY OF THEM. I even asked them, "How do I know you're not a demon trying to lead me away??" He chuckled, and simply replied with, "Now Joshua, if I were a demon would I be leading you TO Christ, or away from him?" They made a good point!
So time went on and I gradually noticed the Lord making changes in my life. My language started changing, and other stuff too! Some say you have to have this SUDDEN change to be a Christian....what a bunch of bull!
Though, I did end up going to a church and I made a public confession. I was standing at the altar, when suddenly this wind blew through me. As soon as this wind blew through me I heard God say to my spirit, "My child, you are forgiven!"
For anyone who's grown up in pentecostal/charismatic circles, this next part isn't anything new.
My pastor came back and began teaching on the Holy Spirit. Well, being the brand new Christian, uncorrupted by man's teachings, I simply wanted all that God had for me. I wanted all of His promises. Next thing I know, I could feel the Spirit of God just come over me like fire and out of my mouth came the most absolutely beautiful language I had ever heard. And from that point on, it seems I began growing at a very fast rate.
Shortly after this, in about February of 2008, I remember leaning at my bed and simply saying, "Lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Now, you have to be careful about that! God WILL have us do WHATEVER! razz
I simply heard one word from the Holy Spirit. He said, "Prophet." My response? "Awesome!...what is that?" I sensed that the Lord chuckled a bit at my response. People claim God is so serious...child, please!! Jesus can be quite crazy at times! And quite hilarious! smile I mean, just look at the Platypus!
Anyways, so from that point on I began learning much about what it was that the prophets did...I've heard various people tell me that prophets are no longer around, and that all gifts have ceased, that we only have the Bible and that any supposed manifestation is of the devil. Here's my problem with those beliefs - they are absolutely false and erroneous. God does not change, has not changed, and never will change. These same gifts are being handed out today. How do I know? I look at the fruit of the person. If it's good, it can't be of satan. Plain and simple.
It wasn't until early 2011 when this gift began really manifesting; since that point, I've seen God say some very amazing things (or heard, rather?). The messages God has given to people have always resulted in them glorifying HIM and they end up getting past whatever stumbling block was before them.
Ultimately, no matter what people try to tell me is Truth, I know that Truth is found if one seeks it out, sometimes in very unconventional places. And all I know is that our God IS God, and that He sent his son into this world to redeem us from our sins. What I do know is that Jesus Christ is God in flesh. All else is up for verification.
Do I still struggle with homosexuality? Of course. What most fail to realize is that this specific struggle CAN'T be overcome with programs, 10 steps, etc. All that stuff is quite legalistic, actually, and if we focus on our sins that we're trying to overcome, we'll actually sin more. We need to keep our focus on Jesus Christ alone. He IS our Righteousness, He IS our holiness, and He IS our salvation (1 Cor 1:30).
Thank you for sharing your testimony. No testimony is too long or too short and not every testimony will be easy to read. Although, I believe that testimonies have a great power to reach other to others and have other people realize that they aren't the only ones with sin in their lives and that they aren't alone in whatever they are deciding to do in life.
I must say, though, to be careful with the Bible verses you use and to look at the surrounding context. In John 9:31 NIV along with the NLT and other versions - you took a quote out of a dialogue of something that a man had said:
John 9:20 - 40 NLT:
His parents replied, “We know this is our son and that he was born blind, but we don’t know how he can see or who healed him. Ask him. He is old enough to speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who had announced that anyone saying Jesus was the Messiah would be expelled from the synagogue. That’s why they said, “He is old enough. Ask him.”
So for the second time they called in the man who had been blind and told him, “God should get the glory for this, because we know this man Jesus is a sinner.”
“I don’t know whether he is a sinner,” the man replied. “But I know this: I was blind, and now I can see!”
“But what did he do?” they asked. “How did he heal you?”
“Look!” the man exclaimed. “I told you once. Didn’t you listen? Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?”
Then they cursed him and said, “You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses! We know God spoke to Moses, but we don’t even know where this man comes from.”
“Why, that’s very strange!” the man replied. “He healed my eyes, and yet you don’t know where he comes from? We know that God doesn’t listen to sinners, but he is ready to hear those who worship him and do his will. Ever since the world began, no one has been able to open the eyes of someone born blind. If this man were not from God, he couldn’t have done it.”
“You were born a total sinner!” they answered. “Are you trying to teach us?” And they threw him out of the synagogue.
When Jesus heard what had happened, he found the man and asked, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”
The man answered, “Who is he, sir? I want to believe in him.”
“You have seen him,” Jesus said, “and he is speaking to you!”
“Yes, Lord, I believe!” the man said. And he worshiped Jesus.
Then Jesus told him, “I entered this world to render judgment—to give sight to the blind and to show those who think they see that they are blind.”
Some Pharisees who were standing nearby heard him and asked, “Are you saying we’re blind?”
*It's nothing too personal, it's just important to realize the before and after context in scripture and who said it.
God does in fact listen to sinners because we are all sinners. Therefore, sinners are also able to accept the gift of salvation if they so choose. When Jesus came into the world, he was telling people to believe and repent and was telling his disciples to spread the word so that they may believe in God.
In life, the change for some people as Christians feels "sudden" like almost hits you like a brick. However, for other people they can see a gradual change in their life. So believing all of a "sudden" isn't exactly hocus pocus. Each person who believes has their own salvation story. In mine, I felt that "sudden" change and it hit me like a brick and I broke down to tears, but felt sad and joyful all at once.
It kinda makes me laugh sometimes as well when people say that God is super serious. If he didn't have a sense of humor then why do humans have a sense of humor? Also, why would he create the platypus (I actually didn't see the "platypus" the first time you typed it until I looked at your response for a brief moment. I suppose that phrase has been spread quite well) or the giraffe? razz God has a sense of humor and truly works in ways that are mysterious and I agree about the prayer thing.
I know someone who prayed, "If anything is causing me to sin, I don't want it and take it away." Days later, they were robbed, tied, and hurt. Although, none of them were killed, which is amazing and I thank God for that smile
A lot of churches don't believe in the gifts and a lot of churches don't believe in the Holy Spirit, which I find saddening. I believe in the gifts and the Holy Spirit and knows that the Holy Spirit thrives within each believer and that we each have our own gift(s). It's exciting to know each believer has the Holy Spirit dwelling within us and that we are each unique and special because we have our own gift(s).
About the statement, "If it's good, it can't be of Satan." that's interesting, because it reminds me that Satan deceives and is a demon of light. He can give people the illusion of "good" in their lives. Satan will allow you whatever you wish without discipline - drugs, sex, a bad group of friends, etc. because Satan wants to pull you in and does not care how guilty or filthy that you feel about your lifestyle because Satan at that point is pulling you over the line. Sometimes I think looking at the fruit of someone can be harder than we think because there are people that like to deceive others and act good. I've known of people who weren't Christian who acted like it just to get inside a church and corrupt it.
Indeed God is good and it's great to know He's our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. It's such a peaceful thing to know that God is there for us. |
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:03 am
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jb-pichu Well, I'm brand new to this forum but here's my testimony! Just as a note, if you feel uncomfortable reading certain things, you might want to skip over labeled parts of my testimony. I'm putting it all out here. Also, I'm not sure the denominational background of people, but just so you know - I have no denomination that I cling to anymore; so, anything on this testimony that disagrees with any denominational doctrine, please do not try to debate with me - I do not debate on doctrines. ---- I was born in Valdosta, GA, in 1989 and my early life was pretty normal, actually. My dad was stationed at Moody AFB, went to Kunsan for training, came back and we were then stationed at Wright Pat for his last year in the Air force. I was home schooled for Kindergarten, and after that one year in Ohio we moved down to Alabama to live near my grandparents. Things really started taking a turn down hill by the time we had to move into my grandparents' home after losing the house. We weren't poor, though. Any time I wanted to spend time with dad playing a video game or something, he would always say, "Maybe later, Joshua." It got to a point where he was constantly on the computer. By the time I was ten years old, I could my Mom and Dad didn't really talk a lot, and Mom came to me one night and asked me if I would like to move to Okinawa, Japan. I told her, "Sure! Is Dad coming with us?" She told me, "No, he's not." I then asked her, "Oh...are you two thinking about getting a divorce?" She said, "Well yeah, I thought we would!" My response was, "Oh, well tell Dad that I love him!" No emotions. Now, normally a biblical reason for a divorce is infidelity or abuse, both of which my mom does NOT take. Plus even if a man tried to abuse her, HE would end up being the one on the ground. smile Anyway, I'll just say their reason is a very UNIQUE one. That's all I'm saying on that. We moved to Okinawa, Japan in November of 1999 and this beautiful place became our home. I attended DODEA schools from 5th grade, until I graduated high school in June of 2007. Throughout my school life, I faced a lot of bullying. When I was in middle school, I was often called many words that I won't repost here simply because some may not be comfortable reading them. But, y'all probably get the picture; they were derogatory words for homosexual. I've always been a soft-hearted individual with a very flamboyant nature and a very artsy mind that loves music, art, designs, colors, etc. I'm also a philosopher. My mind is constantly thinking about certain beliefs, and whether or not the belief is accurate or true. See, I also started becoming attracted to guys and so I began thinking I was gay. With the people calling me gay, that didn't help me! When I got into high school, I seriously believed I was! [ Next part includes some things that may not be comfortable to read] When I was thirteen, I started looking at pornographic images....of men. By the time I was fifteen, I was webcamming with other guys, often doing strip teases. By the time I was sixteen, I labeled myself as being a homosexual. It was what I honestly thought I was! [ Section done] By the time I was seventeen, I had already been in a few relationships, even gotten kissed, and almost had sex with another guy. Fortunately, I've always been a chicken! When I turned eighteen, the end of my senior year, I had finally reached a certain point. See, there's a scripture I always ended up reading (mom was big into studying prophecy): "Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire." (Rev 20:15; NIV) Deep down, I knew that my name was not in the Lamb's Book of Life - that if I were to stand before Yeshua HaMashiyach (Jesus Christ), I would be sent into destruction. So, deep down there was a conviction. One night, I fell to my knees in my bedroom and cried out, "Lord! I need help! Please help me!" It is written, "We know that God doesn't listen to sinners, but he is ready to hear those who worship him and do his will." (John 9:31; NLT) I certainly fit the bill of being a sinner! But, I knew that God looks at the heart of a person (1 Sam 16:7). Within only a few months, that prayer was answered, along with the ones my Mom had been praying. I was in a Yahoo chat room when suddenly I got an IM from somebody! They asked me, "Is this Joshua ?" I said, "...Yes....who are you?" They then told me, "I am an angel of the Lord, and He has sent me. . ." Definitely straightforward, if I say so myself! Now granted, I didn't believe them one bit at first, but they told me that their job was not to have me believe who THEY are, but for me to believe in the One True God as my Savior and Lord.
As I said before, I'm the philosopher type. I ask questions...MANY OF THEM. I even asked them, "How do I know you're not a demon trying to lead me away??" He chuckled, and simply replied with, "Now Joshua, if I were a demon would I be leading you TO Christ, or away from him?" They made a good point!
So time went on and I gradually noticed the Lord making changes in my life. My language started changing, and other stuff too! Some say you have to have this SUDDEN change to be a Christian....what a bunch of bull!
Though, I did end up going to a church and I made a public confession. I was standing at the altar, when suddenly this wind blew through me. As soon as this wind blew through me I heard God say to my spirit, "My child, you are forgiven!"
For anyone who's grown up in pentecostal/charismatic circles, this next part isn't anything new.
My pastor came back and began teaching on the Holy Spirit. Well, being the brand new Christian, uncorrupted by man's teachings, I simply wanted all that God had for me. I wanted all of His promises. Next thing I know, I could feel the Spirit of God just come over me like fire and out of my mouth came the most absolutely beautiful language I had ever heard. And from that point on, it seems I began growing at a very fast rate.
Shortly after this, in about February of 2008, I remember leaning at my bed and simply saying, "Lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Now, you have to be careful about that! God WILL have us do WHATEVER! razz
I simply heard one word from the Holy Spirit. He said, "Prophet." My response? "Awesome!...what is that?" I sensed that the Lord chuckled a bit at my response. People claim God is so serious...child, please!! Jesus can be quite crazy at times! And quite hilarious! smile I mean, just look at the Platypus!
Anyways, so from that point on I began learning much about what it was that the prophets did...I've heard various people tell me that prophets are no longer around, and that all gifts have ceased, that we only have the Bible and that any supposed manifestation is of the devil. Here's my problem with those beliefs - they are absolutely false and erroneous. God does not change, has not changed, and never will change. These same gifts are being handed out today. How do I know? I look at the fruit of the person. If it's good, it can't be of satan. Plain and simple.
It wasn't until early 2011 when this gift began really manifesting; since that point, I've seen God say some very amazing things (or heard, rather?). The messages God has given to people have always resulted in them glorifying HIM and they end up getting past whatever stumbling block was before them.
Ultimately, no matter what people try to tell me is Truth, I know that Truth is found if one seeks it out, sometimes in very unconventional places. And all I know is that our God IS God, and that He sent his son into this world to redeem us from our sins. What I do know is that Jesus Christ is God in flesh. All else is up for verification.
Do I still struggle with homosexuality? Of course. What most fail to realize is that this specific struggle CAN'T be overcome with programs, 10 steps, etc. All that stuff is quite legalistic, actually, and if we focus on our sins that we're trying to overcome, we'll actually sin more. We need to keep our focus on Jesus Christ alone. He IS our Righteousness, He IS our holiness, and He IS our salvation (1 Cor 1:30).
Thank you for a great testimony! You are absolutly right. In him alone are we justified. It is not enough going to church, it is not enough reading the bible. Being born into a Christian family is not enough. Saying you are a Christian is not enough. You have to believe. Believe that Jesus died for you. sola fide.
2 Timothy 1:9 who has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,
Titus 3:5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
Also though:
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: |
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:21 am
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Thanks so much for telling me this... A certain part you wrote about God's purpose for us in life caused tears to well up in my eyes. Maybe part of our purpose is to show the world what we can do...to shock the world. I know I had silenced my entire school for about six minutes, and at a later day I was at a dinner meeting at the Orangery with a couple of other profoundly deaf and hearing impaired kids, a company called Safeco, and UT Speech and Hearing (where I learned how to speak and listen), and I delivered a speech on thanking Safeco for donating a large sum of money to Child Hearing Services (which is part of the Speech and Hearing program). I spoke like I was about to cry but maintained a controlled voice, which made it full of feeling because my feelings were sincere. I spoke about how they changed my life and others' lives in my generation, opening us to opportunities in society and how they would be making a difference for children in the future, aiding them to becoming successful in integrating into society. The CEO of Safeco said that "never before had a teenager look me in the eye and thank me..." He cried at my speech and said, "I just wanted to let you know that I am going to build Child Hearing Services their own building....for her...... I am doing this because of her.... If you can produce someone like Calen in a stadium, what can you do in your own building?" Velvet, a woman in charge of Child Hearing Services and also an audiologist and speech pathologist, cried so hard out of sheer happiness, and my mother cried, too, but for a different reason. Yes, my mother was very happy that UT Speech and Hearing's own building was going to be built, but she was blown away with the fact that God finally answered her prayer. When I was just a toddler, my mom had prayed that I would be a blessing to others for my hearing loss. That prayer had been answered when Safeco decided to build us our own building instead of us sharing with University of Tennessee's stadium because of my speech. I think God has recently given me a gift of speech to inspire so many people, and what's strange is that the cameraman at the dinner meeting videotaped everything that happened~ except when I stood up to talk. Also, with my speech at school, nobody videotaped me. This has led me to believe God doesn't want me to be videotaped when using His gift because He's reminding us that all the credit belongs to Him, and I don't get to take all the glory and re-watch myself on video and feel proud of myself when I should be praising God for this.
I'm so glad that I found somebody I can relate to, and that we both have handicaps to deal with, but our troubles only strengthen our faith in God. I believe that if your purpose has not already been revealed to you (and it hasn't clearly been revealed to me), that's okay and we all can wait until God says the time is right. You, yourself, are a very special person that God loves very much, and I have a feeling He will use you for something quite powerful and inspirational. Just a hunch. I find it also extremely cool that your name is Kaylen and my name is Calen. My name is pronounced exactly like yours! |
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:38 am
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Dramatica Angeliqua Thanks so much for telling me this... A certain part you wrote about God's purpose for us in life caused tears to well up in my eyes. Maybe part of our purpose is to show the world what we can do...to shock the world. I know I had silenced my entire school for about six minutes, and at a later day I was at a dinner meeting at the Orangery with a couple of other profoundly deaf and hearing impaired kids, a company called Safeco, and UT Speech and Hearing (where I learned how to speak and listen), and I delivered a speech on thanking Safeco for donating a large sum of money to Child Hearing Services (which is part of the Speech and Hearing program). I spoke like I was about to cry but maintained a controlled voice, which made it full of feeling because my feelings were sincere. I spoke about how they changed my life and others' lives in my generation, opening us to opportunities in society and how they would be making a difference for children in the future, aiding them to becoming successful in integrating into society. The CEO of Safeco said that "never before had a teenager look me in the eye and thank me..." He cried at my speech and said, "I just wanted to let you know that I am going to build Child Hearing Services their own building....for her...... I am doing this because of her.... If you can produce someone like Calen in a stadium, what can you do in your own building?" Velvet, a woman in charge of Child Hearing Services and also an audiologist and speech pathologist, cried so hard out of sheer happiness, and my mother cried, too, but for a different reason. Yes, my mother was very happy that UT Speech and Hearing's own building was going to be built, but she was blown away with the fact that God finally answered her prayer. When I was just a toddler, my mom had prayed that I would be a blessing to others for my hearing loss. That prayer had been answered when Safeco decided to build us our own building instead of us sharing with University of Tennessee's stadium because of my speech. I think God has recently given me a gift of speech to inspire so many people, and what's strange is that the cameraman at the dinner meeting videotaped everything that happened~ except when I stood up to talk. Also, with my speech at school, nobody videotaped me. This has led me to believe God doesn't want me to be videotaped when using His gift because He's reminding us that all the credit belongs to Him, and I don't get to take all the glory and re-watch myself on video and feel proud of myself when I should be praising God for this. I'm so glad that I found somebody I can relate to, and that we both have handicaps to deal with, but our troubles only strengthen our faith in God. I believe that if your purpose has not already been revealed to you (and it hasn't clearly been revealed to me), that's okay and we all can wait until God says the time is right. You, yourself, are a very special person that God loves very much, and I have a feeling He will use you for something quite powerful and inspirational. Just a hunch. I find it also extremely cool that your name is Kaylen and my name is Calen. My name is pronounced exactly like yours!
That's an amazing story to hear and incredibly inspirational! It's exciting to have the gift of speech smile although, of course with our gifts as you have mentioned, we need to give the credit to God and remember that he gave us our gift and not to use it in a prideful or detestable manner. I feel that God has called me to preach and it's exciting ^_^ but I always have to remind myself, too, that God gave me the gift.
Some people in society don't expect certain people to be able to speak so well. Someone that has any type of disability might be looked on as "weak" and "powerless" while within God, that is not true. With God by our side, there is a lot we can do through Him biggrin and I've been shy growing up and grew up in a church where women couldn't speak and remember coming up with something that I thought was "brilliant" in the car. I told my parents, "Driving is like a test of faith! We need to trust the other drivers on the road and that God will keep us safe!" I was probably in elementary school and my parents were like, "Are you kidding?! We don't trust anybody out here!" and I felt like my idea was useless and no good. But now that I have turned my beliefs to follow the Bible and realized that God has given me the gifts needed to carry out His purpose in my life, it truly makes me feel happy ^_^
I agree that medical conditions, handicaps, disabilities, whatever you prefer to call them do strengthen faith and keep us going smile and yeah, I'm sure that those with handicaps surprise people. I also figured that having a handicap in my life would help when trying to witness to others. People think that believers in God have perfect lives, when that is far from the truth. So perhaps sometimes telling our life stories to another person who has a medical issue to deal with will show them that they, too, can receive Jesus Christ and their Lord and Savior smile and that just because of what they look like or what medical concerns they have - they are just as worthy of receiving salvation as the next person ^_^
I am glad that in a sense, we do have a lot in common and is always nice to know biggrin
That's awesome that you're name is pronounced the same as mine whee
I've only met a few "Kaylen's" before. I've met about two in my life time and heard about a few more like on tv or something razz but that's awesome biggrin ha ha, and people always spelled it wrong when I grew up xd I think that taught me a lot about patience razz I remember one time I ordered something in the mail and they spelled my name "Calen" same pronunciation, but wrong spelling =] |
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:56 am
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Aquatic_blue jb-pichu Well, I'm brand new to this forum but here's my testimony! Just as a note, if you feel uncomfortable reading certain things, you might want to skip over labeled parts of my testimony. I'm putting it all out here. Also, I'm not sure the denominational background of people, but just so you know - I have no denomination that I cling to anymore; so, anything on this testimony that disagrees with any denominational doctrine, please do not try to debate with me - I do not debate on doctrines. ---- I was born in Valdosta, GA, in 1989 and my early life was pretty normal, actually. My dad was stationed at Moody AFB, went to Kunsan for training, came back and we were then stationed at Wright Pat for his last year in the Air force. I was home schooled for Kindergarten, and after that one year in Ohio we moved down to Alabama to live near my grandparents. Things really started taking a turn down hill by the time we had to move into my grandparents' home after losing the house. We weren't poor, though. Any time I wanted to spend time with dad playing a video game or something, he would always say, "Maybe later, Joshua." It got to a point where he was constantly on the computer. By the time I was ten years old, I could my Mom and Dad didn't really talk a lot, and Mom came to me one night and asked me if I would like to move to Okinawa, Japan. I told her, "Sure! Is Dad coming with us?" She told me, "No, he's not." I then asked her, "Oh...are you two thinking about getting a divorce?" She said, "Well yeah, I thought we would!" My response was, "Oh, well tell Dad that I love him!" No emotions. Now, normally a biblical reason for a divorce is infidelity or abuse, both of which my mom does NOT take. Plus even if a man tried to abuse her, HE would end up being the one on the ground. smile Anyway, I'll just say their reason is a very UNIQUE one. That's all I'm saying on that. We moved to Okinawa, Japan in November of 1999 and this beautiful place became our home. I attended DODEA schools from 5th grade, until I graduated high school in June of 2007. Throughout my school life, I faced a lot of bullying. When I was in middle school, I was often called many words that I won't repost here simply because some may not be comfortable reading them. But, y'all probably get the picture; they were derogatory words for homosexual. I've always been a soft-hearted individual with a very flamboyant nature and a very artsy mind that loves music, art, designs, colors, etc. I'm also a philosopher. My mind is constantly thinking about certain beliefs, and whether or not the belief is accurate or true. See, I also started becoming attracted to guys and so I began thinking I was gay. With the people calling me gay, that didn't help me! When I got into high school, I seriously believed I was! [ Next part includes some things that may not be comfortable to read] When I was thirteen, I started looking at pornographic images....of men. By the time I was fifteen, I was webcamming with other guys, often doing strip teases. By the time I was sixteen, I labeled myself as being a homosexual. It was what I honestly thought I was! [ Section done] By the time I was seventeen, I had already been in a few relationships, even gotten kissed, and almost had sex with another guy. Fortunately, I've always been a chicken! When I turned eighteen, the end of my senior year, I had finally reached a certain point. See, there's a scripture I always ended up reading (mom was big into studying prophecy): "Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire." (Rev 20:15; NIV) Deep down, I knew that my name was not in the Lamb's Book of Life - that if I were to stand before Yeshua HaMashiyach (Jesus Christ), I would be sent into destruction. So, deep down there was a conviction. One night, I fell to my knees in my bedroom and cried out, "Lord! I need help! Please help me!" It is written, "We know that God doesn't listen to sinners, but he is ready to hear those who worship him and do his will." (John 9:31; NLT) I certainly fit the bill of being a sinner! But, I knew that God looks at the heart of a person (1 Sam 16:7). Within only a few months, that prayer was answered, along with the ones my Mom had been praying. I was in a Yahoo chat room when suddenly I got an IM from somebody! They asked me, "Is this Joshua ?" I said, "...Yes....who are you?" They then told me, "I am an angel of the Lord, and He has sent me. . ." Definitely straightforward, if I say so myself! Now granted, I didn't believe them one bit at first, but they told me that their job was not to have me believe who THEY are, but for me to believe in the One True God as my Savior and Lord.
As I said before, I'm the philosopher type. I ask questions...MANY OF THEM. I even asked them, "How do I know you're not a demon trying to lead me away??" He chuckled, and simply replied with, "Now Joshua, if I were a demon would I be leading you TO Christ, or away from him?" They made a good point!
So time went on and I gradually noticed the Lord making changes in my life. My language started changing, and other stuff too! Some say you have to have this SUDDEN change to be a Christian....what a bunch of bull!
Though, I did end up going to a church and I made a public confession. I was standing at the altar, when suddenly this wind blew through me. As soon as this wind blew through me I heard God say to my spirit, "My child, you are forgiven!"
For anyone who's grown up in pentecostal/charismatic circles, this next part isn't anything new.
My pastor came back and began teaching on the Holy Spirit. Well, being the brand new Christian, uncorrupted by man's teachings, I simply wanted all that God had for me. I wanted all of His promises. Next thing I know, I could feel the Spirit of God just come over me like fire and out of my mouth came the most absolutely beautiful language I had ever heard. And from that point on, it seems I began growing at a very fast rate.
Shortly after this, in about February of 2008, I remember leaning at my bed and simply saying, "Lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Now, you have to be careful about that! God WILL have us do WHATEVER! razz
I simply heard one word from the Holy Spirit. He said, "Prophet." My response? "Awesome!...what is that?" I sensed that the Lord chuckled a bit at my response. People claim God is so serious...child, please!! Jesus can be quite crazy at times! And quite hilarious! smile I mean, just look at the Platypus!
Anyways, so from that point on I began learning much about what it was that the prophets did...I've heard various people tell me that prophets are no longer around, and that all gifts have ceased, that we only have the Bible and that any supposed manifestation is of the devil. Here's my problem with those beliefs - they are absolutely false and erroneous. God does not change, has not changed, and never will change. These same gifts are being handed out today. How do I know? I look at the fruit of the person. If it's good, it can't be of satan. Plain and simple.
It wasn't until early 2011 when this gift began really manifesting; since that point, I've seen God say some very amazing things (or heard, rather?). The messages God has given to people have always resulted in them glorifying HIM and they end up getting past whatever stumbling block was before them.
Ultimately, no matter what people try to tell me is Truth, I know that Truth is found if one seeks it out, sometimes in very unconventional places. And all I know is that our God IS God, and that He sent his son into this world to redeem us from our sins. What I do know is that Jesus Christ is God in flesh. All else is up for verification.
Do I still struggle with homosexuality? Of course. What most fail to realize is that this specific struggle CAN'T be overcome with programs, 10 steps, etc. All that stuff is quite legalistic, actually, and if we focus on our sins that we're trying to overcome, we'll actually sin more. We need to keep our focus on Jesus Christ alone. He IS our Righteousness, He IS our holiness, and He IS our salvation (1 Cor 1:30).Thank you for sharing your testimony. No testimony is too long or too short and not every testimony will be easy to read. Although, I believe that testimonies have a great power to reach other to others and have other people realize that they aren't the only ones with sin in their lives and that they aren't alone in whatever they are deciding to do in life. I must say, though, to be careful with the Bible verses you use and to look at the surrounding context. In John 9:31 NIV along with the NLT and other versions - you took a quote out of a dialogue of something that a man had said: John 9:20 - 40 NLT: His parents replied, “We know this is our son and that he was born blind, but we don’t know how he can see or who healed him. Ask him. He is old enough to speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who had announced that anyone saying Jesus was the Messiah would be expelled from the synagogue. That’s why they said, “He is old enough. Ask him.” So for the second time they called in the man who had been blind and told him, “God should get the glory for this, because we know this man Jesus is a sinner.” “I don’t know whether he is a sinner,” the man replied. “But I know this: I was blind, and now I can see!” “But what did he do?” they asked. “How did he heal you?” “Look!” the man exclaimed. “I told you once. Didn’t you listen? Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?” Then they cursed him and said, “You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses! We know God spoke to Moses, but we don’t even know where this man comes from.” “Why, that’s very strange!” the man replied. “He healed my eyes, and yet you don’t know where he comes from? We know that God doesn’t listen to sinners, but he is ready to hear those who worship him and do his will. Ever since the world began, no one has been able to open the eyes of someone born blind. If this man were not from God, he couldn’t have done it.” “You were born a total sinner!” they answered. “Are you trying to teach us?” And they threw him out of the synagogue. When Jesus heard what had happened, he found the man and asked, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” The man answered, “Who is he, sir? I want to believe in him.” “You have seen him,” Jesus said, “and he is speaking to you!” “Yes, Lord, I believe!” the man said. And he worshiped Jesus. Then Jesus told him, “I entered this world to render judgment—to give sight to the blind and to show those who think they see that they are blind.” Some Pharisees who were standing nearby heard him and asked, “Are you saying we’re blind?” *It's nothing too personal, it's just important to realize the before and after context in scripture and who said it. God does in fact listen to sinners because we are all sinners. Therefore, sinners are also able to accept the gift of salvation if they so choose. When Jesus came into the world, he was telling people to believe and repent and was telling his disciples to spread the word so that they may believe in God. In life, the change for some people as Christians feels "sudden" like almost hits you like a brick. However, for other people they can see a gradual change in their life. So believing all of a "sudden" isn't exactly hocus pocus. Each person who believes has their own salvation story. In mine, I felt that "sudden" change and it hit me like a brick and I broke down to tears, but felt sad and joyful all at once. It kinda makes me laugh sometimes as well when people say that God is super serious. If he didn't have a sense of humor then why do humans have a sense of humor? Also, why would he create the platypus (I actually didn't see the "platypus" the first time you typed it until I looked at your response for a brief moment. I suppose that phrase has been spread quite well) or the giraffe? razz God has a sense of humor and truly works in ways that are mysterious and I agree about the prayer thing. I know someone who prayed, "If anything is causing me to sin, I don't want it and take it away." Days later, they were robbed, tied, and hurt. Although, none of them were killed, which is amazing and I thank God for that smile A lot of churches don't believe in the gifts and a lot of churches don't believe in the Holy Spirit, which I find saddening. I believe in the gifts and the Holy Spirit and knows that the Holy Spirit thrives within each believer and that we each have our own gift(s). It's exciting to know each believer has the Holy Spirit dwelling within us and that we are each unique and special because we have our own gift(s). About the statement, "If it's good, it can't be of Satan." that's interesting, because it reminds me that Satan deceives and is a demon of light. He can give people the illusion of "good" in their lives. Satan will allow you whatever you wish without discipline - drugs, sex, a bad group of friends, etc. because Satan wants to pull you in and does not care how guilty or filthy that you feel about your lifestyle because Satan at that point is pulling you over the line. Sometimes I think looking at the fruit of someone can be harder than we think because there are people that like to deceive others and act good. I've known of people who weren't Christian who acted like it just to get inside a church and corrupt it. Indeed God is good and it's great to know He's our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. It's such a peaceful thing to know that God is there for us.
Oh indeed! Though, with the "if it's good" part, that's in the context of spiritual fruit that a person bears. If the fruit is truly good, then we know they are not a bad tree. In the context of the Gifts, I remember a revelation God gave me a while back. Paul mentions that if we have not Love, anything we do is basically hollow and empty (I'm paraphrasing here); in other words, without Love (Christ), even when the gift manifests, it becomes counterfeit. It is that easy for the enemy to pervert a person's gifts. That's why we must make sure we stay firmly rooted and grounded in Love (Christ). My friend calls it tapping into your Love center. In other words, keeping our focus on the Lord Jesus Christ. biggrin Just a different way to say the same thing. |
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:44 pm
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I know this thread hasn't been posted in in awhile, but there's no harm in sharing a testimony.
My walk with Christ has been an interesting one to say the least. Growing up, church was just something I did every Sunday because my parents made me. I didn't really listen to the sermons, and through middle school, church/youth group was mostly a social gathering. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt like this growing up. My 2 best friends, Hayden and Will, both went to my church, so it just felt like another time to hang out with them.
Then High School came around. As my Freshman year started and I was in the Sr. High youth group now, I wasn't with my friends anymore (Will is a year younger than me, Hayden is 2). It was tough to get used to but eventually I made new friends at felt comfortable there. I noticed that I started to actually pay attention a little bit more in church, and listen to what the pastor had to say.
Then everything took a U-Turn. The day before the Super Bowl, February 6th, 2010, I was sitting in my basement watching TV and I could hear my sister screaming from upstairs. When I get there, my whole family is sitting on the floor, and my mom and sister are sobbing. I sit down next to my dad and ask whats wrong, and he told me that Will was found dead in his bed that morning.
After that day, God and I were just not on good terms, or at least, I wasn't on good terms with God. I started questioning my faith, and questioning God, and slowly going back to my childlike state of not really caring about church anymore. I felt abandoned by God, and that lasted for almost a year.
January of 2011, almost a year since Will had died, I heard a song on YouTube. It was a song by one of my favorite bands, RED, off their new album that was coming out in a few weeks. The song was called Not Alone, and boy did it touch me. "I will be your hope when you feel like it's over. I will pick you up when your whole world shatters. When you're finally in my arms, you'll look up and see love has a face. I am with you, I will carry you through it all, I won't leave you. I will catch you when you feel like letting go, because you're not alone." God was speaking to me when I heard that song, and from that moment on, my life could not be more different. I went back to youth group, reconnected with God, made a bunch of other God-loving friends, and next fall, I will be attending college (haven't decided which) to study Youth Ministry and eventually go to Seminary. I now know that I don't want a teenager to go through what I had to go through, having a miscommunication with God, so I want to dedicate my life to making sure other people know about God before the times of trouble.
God has made such an impact in my life, and all I do in my life, I do for him.
Hope that wasn't too long
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:06 pm
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