Input, please?

[Odin-Of-Twilight]

So, one of the main reasons I joined this Guild is because I really have nobody who I can truly relate to in this town. I am one of the only guys in my school to come out. There's only a few of us...I don't find that hard, really, but there is one thing that always bugs me.

I have never been on a real date...I have never had a happy relationship...I have never had a relationship last more than 3 weeks. Why? The guy has either always cheated on me with my best friend or only wanted to...uh.."get physical."

My last boyfriend was three years ago and, let me tell ya, that was horrid. Dated me...told me he loved me...friend liked him too so told him I wanted to break up when I didn't and ended up dating him a few hours later (he is completely confused about his sexuality. It changed every month, I swear.) Though he continued to date all my best friends I still went back to him in between and he treated me like his 'holla back girl' as my friends called it. So, I went into a deep depression over him which now that I think about it was not worth it.

After that a whole lot of guys have come my way...but all of them just kind of...gave up. They were all great guys...I just developed this defense mechanism, I guess, in which I pushed at them and prodded them until they decided they couldn't take it anymore and just up and ignored me. If they didn't ignore me they had the same response every time:

"I'm not ready for a relationship."

I say I'm fine with it...I say I don't mind being single. But I do. I am always the third wheel...I am always sitting by myself while everyone is with their significant other. I have never celebrated Valentines Day with a guy...it just starts to take a toll on you after years of failures and you start to feel like maybe you're broken. Maybe something is horribly wrong with you that repulses guys or something.

So...yeah...assistance would be nice. I am just glad I found an environment where I can share my experiences. I would just like some kind of advise or pointers...or something...please?  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

1: You need to let it go. Release the feelings you had for the first guy. Don't let one person ruin your life.

2: Find someone and explain to them that you may be a little distant. Tell them what happened with the first guy. 9 times out of 10, guy will understand what your going through and will adjust.

3: Just be happy. Trying to think about positives and learn from past mistakes. Know what you want in a guy and go for it.

You need to do this. Don't end up regreting everything. Remember these words: "Never regret." Everything always happens for a reason. :3  

[Odin-Of-Twilight]

I did let him go. I pretty much told him recently I wanted nothing to do with him and since then he has been out of my mind. I'm just afraid a guy will come by and be all sweet and caring like he was then turn out to be a liar like him.

But you are right, I need to not regret it. I'm just afraid I scared away all the guys around here hahaha  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

Please. You didn't scare them all away. One, you really won't meet guys in High School anyways. I met my boyfriend on a swim team. We've known each other for about 3 years now. There is always someone out there. Trust me :3  

[Odin-Of-Twilight]

Most of them were college guys...like 1 or 2 of them were highschoolers haha  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

Odin-Of-Twilight

Most of them were college guys...like 1 or 2 of them were highschoolers haha

Haha, well college students aren't much better. But like I said, think about what you 'really want in a guy' and find him. Just relax a bit, and don't beat yourself up over the issue.  

[Odin-Of-Twilight]

Danka for the advice :3 Relaxing? Me? I'm a spazzzzzz!!!!  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

Odin-Of-Twilight

Danka for the advice :3 Relaxing? Me? I'm a spazzzzzz!!!!

Haha! Same here. I can't keep still for s**t. Drives my bf insane haha!  

[cvbkfgbkjmgbcj]

Don't become jaded because of one experience. Those nice guys might actually *be* nice guys. Make some new relationships, even if they aren't romantic ones.  

[BSPBleach]

You seem to know what you're looking for, so go for it! Don't settle! If you want a relationship and they say they aren't ready, tell them hit the curb and come back when they've grown a pair. You'll end dingle again anyways, why waste your time and suffer to do so? Just skip it and move on to someone better.  

[Chrysolas]

Odin-Of-Twilight

So, one of the main reasons I joined this Guild is because I really have nobody who I can truly relate to in this town. I am one of the only guys in my school to come out. There's only a few of us...I don't find that hard, really, but there is one thing that always bugs me.

I have never been on a real date...I have never had a happy relationship...I have never had a relationship last more than 3 weeks. Why? The guy has either always cheated on me with my best friend or only wanted to...uh.."get physical."

My last boyfriend was three years ago and, let me tell ya, that was horrid. Dated me...told me he loved me...friend liked him too so told him I wanted to break up when I didn't and ended up dating him a few hours later (he is completely confused about his sexuality. It changed every month, I swear.) Though he continued to date all my best friends I still went back to him in between and he treated me like his 'holla back girl' as my friends called it. So, I went into a deep depression over him which now that I think about it was not worth it.

After that a whole lot of guys have come my way...but all of them just kind of...gave up. They were all great guys...I just developed this defense mechanism, I guess, in which I pushed at them and prodded them until they decided they couldn't take it anymore and just up and ignored me. If they didn't ignore me they had the same response every time:

"I'm not ready for a relationship."

I say I'm fine with it...I say I don't mind being single. But I do. I am always the third wheel...I am always sitting by myself while everyone is with their significant other. I have never celebrated Valentines Day with a guy...it just starts to take a toll on you after years of failures and you start to feel like maybe you're broken. Maybe something is horribly wrong with you that repulses guys or something.

So...yeah...assistance would be nice. I am just glad I found an environment where I can share my experiences. I would just like some kind of advise or pointers...or something...please?

I haven't been in that boat, honestly, though I was an experiment for a bi-questioning guy. I liked him and he told me me loved me. He came over to my house my senior year and we got physical (Didn't go all the way) and then he never spoke to me again until a few months later he texted me saying he had a boyfriend.

Anyway. I'm not comparing. But what I've learned is that it's okay to be single and you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else or those people will always rule over you and your self-conscious issues. They will have power over you because you think you can't do any better. That was my issue.

Here's the thing. If you're happy with yourself, go for it. And if you want nothing more than a friend with benefits or a cuddle buddy, that's okay too. Hell, that's my situation. I just want a friend I can fool around with or cuddle with.  

[Saint Sims]

It's a cleché but you really should just let things go about on their own.

From my perspective I feel as though you are trying far too hard to find "it", whether "it" is the perfect relationship or just any relationship at all. It's almost as if you're forcing things along, convincing yourself you HAVE to be with someone, which simply isn't the case.

I think what you really need is someone you can relate to, sympathize with, and someone who compliments you and that doesn't have to be a significant other.

What I suggest most is to just relax. Take a step back, in fact take four. You need to look at things from a distance, to see the bigger picture and realize that your happiness is what YOU make it, not what someone else can make you feel or think.  

[Shadow Ra Warrior]

Heh, being single means you can do what you want when you want without being tied down by someone! s**t go kick it! Go out sometimes, play video games, watch anime, and read manga! Ha the world is your oyster when you're single; alone and lovin' it baby!! cool  

[Sailor Rapunzel]

Don't force yourself into relationships; go at your own pace and it should help give you time to figure out anyone's true intentions. If you end up realizing it won't work then maybe it might even help you gain new friends, because from the sound of it you need better ones around you as well. Not everyone will be the type to hurt you, and though others can reassure you, your situation won't change if you are unable to embrace yourself first. You are perfect the way you are, and if someone isn't seeing that then it falls on them and they are the ones missing out - not you. Being alone may suck but try to look at the bright side of things; thinking positively goes a long way. o^.^o