Tell me when was your...#WhenIKnew moment :P...

[lll-Hannah- lll]

Hey, guys biggrin So, I kinda copied this idea from some website I saw. But on this site it talked about what people consider as their own personal “gay-iversary”. In other words when was that moment if you have any in particular where you realised your sexual orientation? Or where there any particular moments where it hit you or you just think to yourself..."yep, and that's how I know I'm gay"?...lol. Anyways, I just thought this would be kind of a fun thing to do here in the guild. It might be fun to share a little story/moment of our realizations to reflect upon, laugh about, or possibly even to help out the people who may be questioning. Your #WhenIKnew moment/"gay-iversary" could be a personal story, the moment you saw a certain celebrity, when you heard your first teagan and sara song, first kissed someone, To each their own... Anywho...just post away and end your comment with "#WhenIKnew". Have Fun ^^.....I'll start us off with one of my own #WhenIknew moments.


-When I saw Jordin Sparks sing " I am Woman" on American Idol and thought..."Damn, yes you are" o.o.....;D......#WhenIKnew.
Jordin Sparks singing " I am Woman".  

[ForeverDreamWithinADream]

-Probably should of figured there might of been a possibly I was bi or pan when I kept secretly checking my friend out, even though I had strong feelings for her brother. I was close to both. Also when I when I found out that some of the cosplayers were female and it still didn't bother me to think that they were hot. The biggest clues that I thought Shinya from Dir en grey looked hot when dressed as a girl but still thought the others looked sexy as well. That probably should of been...#WhenIKnew.

I'm still not too sure as I never truly dated anyone (not just going to a random place or dance for a day but long term relationships) and intimacy scares me. sweatdrop I have a hard time connecting with people and getting over some fears.  

[Mafdet of Egypt]

I had moments where I thought that a girl was incredibly cute, but I didn't find myself attracted to her like I do with guys, in which case meant that I was straight. But recently me and my guy have been talking to one of his friends, who I'll call Shy here, and we can see that he has a crush on her and she has a crush back. Though upon seeing a picture of her smiling, I realized that she was attractive, which was a first for me, and I also found out that she really likes me back too. In which case we all liked each other that way, though she said that she wasn't ready for any relationship, and me and my guy accepted that and are still friends with her. So this is my #WhenIKnew  

[BSPBleach]

Well i should've realized i was bi ages ago. I can't remember quite when. Nearly as far back as I remember I've always sneaked a peak at girls.
But the first time i admitted i was bi......was last year. When i first joined this guild, there was a vampire profile. I found all kinds of excuses for myself to go to the profile section just to stare at her sweatdrop
The first time i accepted it however was in a chatroom with some friends. We were all (like 8 of us) messing around with each other. Sometime in that session well, i kinda couldn't ignore it anymore XD #WhenIKnew  

[SharpenedMoonlight]

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

SharpenedMoonlight

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.

Wow o-o kinda flew off the handle there with trying to kill yourself..  

[SharpenedMoonlight]

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.

Wow o-o kinda flew off the handle there with trying to kill yourself..

I was a messed up kid. In many aspects. I was a radical conservative christian (not bashing, just saying what I was) and thought I was less that human for my sexuality.  

[xXHazukashiiXx]

SharpenedMoonlight

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.

Wow o-o kinda flew off the handle there with trying to kill yourself..

I was a messed up kid. In many aspects. I was a radical conservative christian (not bashing, just saying what I was) and thought I was less that human for my sexuality.

Oh, well I'm a conservative (mostly because I'm in the military). I'm catholic so being gay really affects that. But still, hopefully you're not killing yourself anymore?  

[lll-Hannah- lll]

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.

Wow o-o kinda flew off the handle there with trying to kill yourself..

I was a messed up kid. In many aspects. I was a radical conservative christian (not bashing, just saying what I was) and thought I was less that human for my sexuality.

Oh, well I'm a conservative (mostly because I'm in the military). I'm catholic so being gay really affects that. But still, hopefully you're not killing yourself anymore?

Wow,I hope you're doing a lot better now too. Unfortunetly a lot of people from the lgbt community have went through the same thing whether it be from their religious beliefs, bullies, etc.. But being gay doesn't make anyone less of a person, people still care about you,you're still needed in the world and eventually things get a little better ^^  

[SharpenedMoonlight]

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.

Wow o-o kinda flew off the handle there with trying to kill yourself..

I was a messed up kid. In many aspects. I was a radical conservative christian (not bashing, just saying what I was) and thought I was less that human for my sexuality.

Oh, well I'm a conservative (mostly because I'm in the military). I'm catholic so being gay really affects that. But still, hopefully you're not killing yourself anymore?

lll-Hannah- lll

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Onato

SharpenedMoonlight

Well it's hard to pinpoint a time considering I spent the majority of my life in denial. My first gay crush was in first grade, but I thought nothing of it. I "dated" girls (dating meaning saying we were dating but doing absolutely nothing) for a while, even while spending my later elementary, middle, and early high school days crushing on another guy. But it was TOTALLY straight. TOTALLY. Jacking off to him was COMPLETELY NORMAL for a straight guy. Yeah. Even when the entire school was like OMG ARE YOU GAY? I was like NO. Even when I ended up admitting I liked guys, I still liked them in a "straight way". G****** I was an idiot...In middle and high school I made some various friends at various times that ended up forcing me to see the light. And then I tried to kill myself for it. I guess my true "OMG I'M GAY" moment was when I finally accepted myself. I don't remember the exact time, but it was probably one of the times I tried to jump/molest my completely straight male crush. #WhenIKnew...not really.

Wow o-o kinda flew off the handle there with trying to kill yourself..

I was a messed up kid. In many aspects. I was a radical conservative christian (not bashing, just saying what I was) and thought I was less that human for my sexuality.

Oh, well I'm a conservative (mostly because I'm in the military). I'm catholic so being gay really affects that. But still, hopefully you're not killing yourself anymore?

Wow,I hope you're doing a lot better now too. Unfortunetly a lot of people from the lgbt community have went through the same thing whether it be from their religious beliefs, bullies, etc.. But being gay doesn't make anyone less of a person, people still care about you,you're still needed in the world and eventually things get a little better ^^

Thanks both of you. That was a few years ago, I'm fine now.  

[dragkin]

well, up until my freshman year of high school i'd never really had a crush on anyone or been interested in them much at all
but around the middle of that year, i got the biggest crush on a girl i saw every day outside my acting class (i never even talked to her! sweatdrop )

it was only after i got that crush that i started considering the possibility i might be a lesbian. i'd just always assumed i was straight because i thought it was the "default" sexuality. i'd never even thought too hard about the fact that i'd never been into guys

my #WhenIKnew moment ended up being a couple of months after that whole crush thing, when i was just sitting in my room thinking and just kind of realized "oh. i'm gay. cool." it wasn't all that dramatic or anything, and it actually felt kind of good to realize it 3nodding  

[Shanna66]

i didnt know what the word bi meant till halfway through highschoool and i didnt find out about pansexuals until after college.

i always knew i liked girls and boys. i thought it was normal and that everyone liked both genders for a long time.  

[peppermintpatchwork]

yum_tea yum_puddi yum_strawberry yum_tea

Last year in 8th grade, when I went out of town for orchestra all-region, I made a lot of friends. One of them was the cellist who sat next to me. He was a really dorky boy, big glasses, oval head, short hair, but admittedly funny. I hung around him for a bit and he introduced me to some of his friends. One of them was this girl. Now, up until then I had never imagined thinking of a girl in a romantic way, but for some reason, when I saw her my heart jumped.

She had beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous brown hair like a frozen ocean on a windy day. Her eyes curved up when she smiled; a smile that made my heart melt. Her laugh sounded like the daisies in the fields I dreamt of and her lips and teeth were straight and perfect like pearls inside a pink oyster. I didn't speak a word to her, but when we were on stage, about to perform that night, I turned and wished the nerdy cellist good luck, and I told him to wish all the cellists good luck too. He turned around to wish the people behind him well, and when I turned around with him I saw her again. Beautiful, gorgeous, perfect, like a hyacinth in the summer. She was warming up by doing some scales on her cello and the look on her face, that look of intense concentration and adoration for the music in front of her entranced me. She was so passionate. She looked up from her music and giggled, the intense concentration broken, the furrow in her brow lightening up, wishing him well.

I smiled then quickly turned back around to face the front.

That was the last I saw of her for a while, and the feeling was so foreign. I kept thinking "Oh, it's just the admiration girls have for other girls, like 'oh I think she's pretty' kind of thing" but it wasn't, it really wasn't. I used to listen to music and think of her and I drew her so many times in my sketchbook and I swore to never let anyone know it was her. But my heart kept sinking because all-region wasn't local and Oh god, she probably doesn't even live in my town.

But all that changed, when a few months later, at a nearby middle school, I saw her again. And she was there, smiling, with the nerdy cellist and all her other friends.

And I teared up a bit.

That was when I knew.

yum_tea yum_puddi yum_strawberry yum_tea  

[Infinity Outlaw]

I never really had a "when I knew" moment. It was something that just kind of crept up on me. Generally around junior high was when I started figuring it out. So many of the other girls were gushing over boys and starting to be in relationships and I just didn't get it. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to go out with a guy. I pushed it aside as just really wanting to be friends, but looking back I definitely was crushing on girls at that point. It was around that time I started feeling awkward gender-wise as well. Which led to huge identity issues. Junior high is a shitty place and I just wanted to be "normal". I ended up with some serious self-loathing and self-harm issues which I still struggle with. It didn't help that when I got to college, after coming out in high school and becoming somewhat more secure in my identity, I suddenly started crushing on guys as well. Confusing as ********. So I guess if anything my #WhenIKnew moment would be in college would I said ******** you to people constantly trying to categorize me and came out as pansexual and genderfluid. I still have days where I question who I am, but I've been a lot more solid in having a sense of "me".