What are your views on

[Lil Enslaved Kitten]

BDSM in a relationship?
For those who don't know what it means here's a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

i was wondering about this because in rural areas like where me and my husband live if there is any sign that a couple is engaged in BDSM activities they are looked down own by members of loclal churches some will even kick you out of or ban you from their church.

my husband and i are curntley "church shopping" because of the fact that i do wear a collar that my husband has put on me. because we are in a type of BDSM relationship known as Daddy Dom/ lil girl. We meet through a BDSM social network site and he has been a God send for me. he helped me get my life back in order and someone to trust in (something i haven't had for a long time)  

[Garland-Green]

I am a bit iffy about it. With that being said though a church that doesn't let people in is kind of powerless to preach the gospel. We are not told to preach the gospel to some, but to others not. If I had a church I would not close the doors to anyone, or be quick to excommunication people based on appearance etc. In regards to the “marriage bed” (Hebrews 13:4), the Bible does not give many restrictions to what a married couple can do sexually with each other.

But sex is to be an expression of love, affection, passion, gentleness, selflessness, and commitment. Sex is to be the literal/physical expression of a married couple being “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Jesus always demonstrated servant leadership, not dominance, in His relationships with others (John 13).

The Bible often uses the institution of marriage as an expression of Christ and the church, because it is something we are familiar with.

Ephesians 5
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“

We are members of his body, you, me and everyone who believes.
How do we represent him who is the head to those outside the body?  

[Lil Enslaved Kitten]

Garland-Green

I am a bit iffy about it. With that being said though a church that doesn't let people in is kind of powerless to preach the gospel. We are not told to preach the gospel to some, but to others not. If I had a church I would not close the doors to anyone, or be quick to excommunication people based on appearance etc. In regards to the “marriage bed” (Hebrews 13:4), the Bible does not give many restrictions to what a married couple can do sexually with each other.

But sex is to be an expression of love, affection, passion, gentleness, selflessness, and commitment. Sex is to be the literal/physical expression of a married couple being “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Jesus always demonstrated servant leadership, not dominance, in His relationships with others (John 13).

The Bible often uses the institution of marriage as an expression of Christ and the church, because it is something we are familiar with.

Ephesians 5
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“

We are members of his body, you, me and everyone who believes.
How do we represent him who is the head to those outside the body?

As in most relationships like ours outside of the home we are like another couple well other then my collar and the fact i call him Daddy (that's a comfy thing for me though)
i don't know verses very well but one thing i loved about the old style weddings was the fact that part was the wife agrees to honor and obey her husband. it has been taken out of most now though. were we got married at the court house it was taken out of the one they do it made me sad. i know that the women is not always the submissive in a BDSM relationship but that was always one of my big ways of looking at and the fact that also in old school weddings when the father gives the bride away her husband agrees to take her and teach her and make her his own (i was so proud of my niece for keeping this in her wedding)  

[Garland-Green]

Lil Enslaved Kitten

Garland-Green

I am a bit iffy about it. With that being said though a church that doesn't let people in is kind of powerless to preach the gospel. We are not told to preach the gospel to some, but to others not. If I had a church I would not close the doors to anyone, or be quick to excommunication people based on appearance etc. In regards to the “marriage bed” (Hebrews 13:4), the Bible does not give many restrictions to what a married couple can do sexually with each other.

But sex is to be an expression of love, affection, passion, gentleness, selflessness, and commitment. Sex is to be the literal/physical expression of a married couple being “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Jesus always demonstrated servant leadership, not dominance, in His relationships with others (John 13).

The Bible often uses the institution of marriage as an expression of Christ and the church, because it is something we are familiar with.

Ephesians 5
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“

We are members of his body, you, me and everyone who believes.
How do we represent him who is the head to those outside the body?

As in most relationships like ours outside of the home we are like another couple well other then my collar and the fact i call him Daddy (that's a comfy thing for me though)
i don't know verses very well but one thing i loved about the old style weddings was the fact that part was the wife agrees to honor and obey her husband. it has been taken out of most now though. were we got married at the court house it was taken out of the one they do it made me sad. i know that the women is not always the submissive in a BDSM relationship but that was always one of my big ways of looking at and the fact that also in old school weddings when the father gives the bride away her husband agrees to take her and teach her and make her his own (i was so proud of my niece for keeping this in her wedding)

I think it has been taken out for the sake of getting along. It is like my wife said: women and men are different. We are not the same, and the same things should not be demanded of us. It doesn't make one less valuable then the other, it just shows our weaknesses and our strengths and how we can help each other. We should all have equal basic human right, but not the same demands.
I like old school weddings as well. My wife and I also had a courthouse wedding.  

[Lil Enslaved Kitten]

Garland-Green

Lil Enslaved Kitten

Garland-Green

I am a bit iffy about it. With that being said though a church that doesn't let people in is kind of powerless to preach the gospel. We are not told to preach the gospel to some, but to others not. If I had a church I would not close the doors to anyone, or be quick to excommunication people based on appearance etc. In regards to the “marriage bed” (Hebrews 13:4), the Bible does not give many restrictions to what a married couple can do sexually with each other.

But sex is to be an expression of love, affection, passion, gentleness, selflessness, and commitment. Sex is to be the literal/physical expression of a married couple being “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Jesus always demonstrated servant leadership, not dominance, in His relationships with others (John 13).

The Bible often uses the institution of marriage as an expression of Christ and the church, because it is something we are familiar with.

Ephesians 5
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“

We are members of his body, you, me and everyone who believes.
How do we represent him who is the head to those outside the body?

As in most relationships like ours outside of the home we are like another couple well other then my collar and the fact i call him Daddy (that's a comfy thing for me though)
i don't know verses very well but one thing i loved about the old style weddings was the fact that part was the wife agrees to honor and obey her husband. it has been taken out of most now though. were we got married at the court house it was taken out of the one they do it made me sad. i know that the women is not always the submissive in a BDSM relationship but that was always one of my big ways of looking at and the fact that also in old school weddings when the father gives the bride away her husband agrees to take her and teach her and make her his own (i was so proud of my niece for keeping this in her wedding)

I think it has been taken out for the sake of getting along. It is like my wife said: women and men are different. We are not the same, and the same things should not be demanded of us. It doesn't make one less valuable then the other, it just shows our weaknesses and our strengths and how we can help each other. We should all have equal basic human right, but not the same demands.
I like old school weddings as well. My wife and I also had a courthouse wedding.

i think the fact that everyone is different is why some people have such a hard time accepting people in BDSM. cause if they are not in it or around it very often they don't understand. in most BDSM relationships one is not seen as less then the other more like a perfect fit for the others personality. like with me and my husband he is a very nurturing type persons and loves to do all he can for loved ones. me i'm shy and like to learn all i can and i'm bad to ask as many questions as a 5 yr old some days  

[Aquatic_blue]

I'm not 100% familiar with BDSM, but I have heard of some of the activities people do in these types of relationships before. I cannot fully understand these behaviors, though, since I don't feel them and they are not involved with my relationship with my husband.

I see men and women as equals even though we both have different needs and mindsets. My main concern about BDSM is that people may get carried away by the activities involved that may be dangerous or cause our physical body to be harmed. Other times, people could possibly be emotionally or spiritually harmed by the lifestyle.

If I were involved in BDSM then I would probably ask myself first if it's something I would need or stop or something that's okay in my marriage. I would ask myself, "Would this call a brother or sister in Christ to fall?" and I would be concerned about how it would affect the marriage and our intimate activities as a couple. However, for me I'm more on the side of having gentleness and respect towards my husbands body. I love his body as if it were my own and treat it as such. I would be too afraid to accidentally harm him and would feel bad. Knowing me, I may have a sense of guilt or may feel "dirty"

Although, the Bible does not say anything in particular about this topic, that makes it a gray area. So no one here will be able to say if you're "100% right" or "100% wrong" by scripture alone because it can't exactly be proven. We can only decide if this is right, wrong, or possibly okay by how we think and feel and what we believe is right according to God.

Some things might be okay according to the intent. Fluffy and stretchy handcuffs might be okay to use if you both consent to the idea since those aren't as likely to harm or anything like that. Fluffy ticklers may be okay because they aren't likely to cause harm. However, I'm not a fan of being in control, having someone dominate me, or pain so I tend to steer clear from any type of bondage activities. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing and bring you together as a couple.

I'm not a fan of collars on people because we're human beings and not animals. God values us as human beings and wants us to fulfill his purposes for us in his life and we were meant to have power over the animals of the earth. Also, the style to me isn't all that attractive I suppose because it makes me wonder if someone has other underlying concerns in their life.

I truly believe it depends on your intent in the practice of BDSM. If it's something harmless and builds your intimacy with the person you're with and you feel no guilt or shame then it is probably okay. I don't like uglier forms to the practice that can cause cuts, scrapes, bruising, burns, or other forms of serious damage. You should examine why you do this and if it is truly acceptable in God's eyes. Ask yourself: Is your intent to hurt someone? Is your intent to feel more in power or under submission and why? Will this cause a brother or sister in Christ to fall? Can this behavior lead to behaviors that would cause you to sin or cause you temptation or guilt? Am I doing damage to myself or anyone else by continuing with this practice? Is there a specific reason I do this practice and can that be helped? Is this harmless or harmful to me or my partner physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?

It's also a good idea to talk about this and pray about it with your partner and talk to each other about what you feel like God may be trying to tell you - whether this is okay or not.  

[911child]

heh, like its already been posted. If you both agree to it with the purest intentions, if you believe that God would be ok with it and that you wont let it go beyond the two of you i dont see why not it wont be ok. Though i dont fully understand why you would give some one total control over you. (i am at bad terms with trusting people due to the people i allowed in my life and hurt me, though i am working on it.)  

[Necessitarian]

I believe Garland's initial point serves as my main disposition to BDSM. I know quite a lot about the subject, and not because of innocent study either. I also have looked for scriptures against or in allowance to BDSM and have only discovered very vague references to sex within marriage, which Garland has already posted. But here follows my two cents:

If I had come to have S&M sort of sexual relations with my wife based on my masochism and my pre-marrital experience with that type of sex, I would be somewhat inclined to censoring it from the marriage bed. That is to say, I have a suspicion that once you ruin your innocence with BDSM (i.e. "expand your horizons" before marriage), you are more likely bound to dirty your marriage bed. If I had found out about BDSM after marriage or if my experience with BDSM before marriage had been purely abstract, I would probably be okay with it. But since I have had problems in the past concerning BDSM and lusts which would be considered totally unacceptable, I think it would be best to quit.

Certainly, though, I am not saying BDSM is immoral within marriage necessarily. To be honst, BDSM is just an extreme type of teasing. We tease our friends with sarcasm; we even extend our love for others by tickling them or playing a practical joke on them, etc. Not to get graphic, but I think it's pretty common knowledge that unless you're Catholic (yes, that's definitely there for the reader's laugh), you probably enjoy getting teased by or enjoy teasing your spouse in a more sexual manner. BDSM simply takes this to levels where the stimulations and physical effects are very extreme. So, if a marriage couple is thinking of it in this way (which I deem "beautiful"), than it seems innocent enough to me. I just have the cynical "fishy smell" that that's not the motive in most cases.

Just to be respectful and honest, though, I don't believe I'm eligible for marriage because of my sexual immaturity and impurity, so write my opinion off if you think that exempts me from having a wise view.  

[Lil Enslaved Kitten]

Actrealationalist

I believe Garland's initial point serves as my main disposition to BDSM. I know quite a lot about the subject, and not because of innocent study either. I also have looked for scriptures against or in allowance to BDSM and have only discovered very vague references to sex within marriage, which Garland has already posted. But here follows my two cents:

If I had come to have S&M sort of sexual relations with my wife based on my masochism and my pre-marrital experience with that type of sex, I would be somewhat inclined to censoring it from the marriage bed. That is to say, I have a suspicion that once you ruin your innocence with BDSM (i.e. "expand your horizons" before marriage), you are more likely bound to dirty your marriage bed. If I had found out about BDSM after marriage or if my experience with BDSM before marriage had been purely abstract, I would probably be okay with it. But since I have had problems in the past concerning BDSM and lusts which would be considered totally unacceptable, I think it would be best to quit.

Certainly, though, I am not saying BDSM is immoral within marriage necessarily. To be honst, BDSM is just an extreme type of teasing. We tease our friends with sarcasm; we even extend our love for others by tickling them or playing a practical joke on them, etc. Not to get graphic, but I think it's pretty common knowledge that unless you're Catholic (yes, that's definitely there for the reader's laugh), you probably enjoy getting teased by or enjoy teasing your spouse in a more sexual manner. BDSM simply takes this to levels where the stimulations and physical effects are very extreme. So, if a marriage couple is thinking of it in this way (which I deem "beautiful"), than it seems innocent enough to me. I just have the cynical "fishy smell" that that's not the motive in most cases.

Just to be respectful and honest, though, I don't believe I'm eligible for marriage because of my sexual immaturity and impurity, so write my opinion off if you think that exempts me from having a wise view.

i would never write any ones opinion of it off as everyone has different views and i like to hear all of them.  

[Lil Enslaved Kitten]

Aquatic_blue

I'm not 100% familiar with BDSM, but I have heard of some of the activities people do in these types of relationships before. I cannot fully understand these behaviors, though, since I don't feel them and they are not involved with my relationship with my husband.

I see men and women as equals even though we both have different needs and mindsets. My main concern about BDSM is that people may get carried away by the activities involved that may be dangerous or cause our physical body to be harmed. Other times, people could possibly be emotionally or spiritually harmed by the lifestyle.

If I were involved in BDSM then I would probably ask myself first if it's something I would need or stop or something that's okay in my marriage. I would ask myself, "Would this call a brother or sister in Christ to fall?" and I would be concerned about how it would affect the marriage and our intimate activities as a couple. However, for me I'm more on the side of having gentleness and respect towards my husbands body. I love his body as if it were my own and treat it as such. I would be too afraid to accidentally harm him and would feel bad. Knowing me, I may have a sense of guilt or may feel "dirty"

Although, the Bible does not say anything in particular about this topic, that makes it a gray area. So no one here will be able to say if you're "100% right" or "100% wrong" by scripture alone because it can't exactly be proven. We can only decide if this is right, wrong, or possibly okay by how we think and feel and what we believe is right according to God.

Some things might be okay according to the intent. Fluffy and stretchy handcuffs might be okay to use if you both consent to the idea since those aren't as likely to harm or anything like that. Fluffy ticklers may be okay because they aren't likely to cause harm. However, I'm not a fan of being in control, having someone dominate me, or pain so I tend to steer clear from any type of bondage activities. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing and bring you together as a couple.

I'm not a fan of collars on people because we're human beings and not animals. God values us as human beings and wants us to fulfill his purposes for us in his life and we were meant to have power over the animals of the earth. Also, the style to me isn't all that attractive I suppose because it makes me wonder if someone has other underlying concerns in their life.

I truly believe it depends on your intent in the practice of BDSM. If it's something harmless and builds your intimacy with the person you're with and you feel no guilt or shame then it is probably okay. I don't like uglier forms to the practice that can cause cuts, scrapes, bruising, burns, or other forms of serious damage. You should examine why you do this and if it is truly acceptable in God's eyes. Ask yourself: Is your intent to hurt someone? Is your intent to feel more in power or under submission and why? Will this cause a brother or sister in Christ to fall? Can this behavior lead to behaviors that would cause you to sin or cause you temptation or guilt? Am I doing damage to myself or anyone else by continuing with this practice? Is there a specific reason I do this practice and can that be helped? Is this harmless or harmful to me or my partner physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?

It's also a good idea to talk about this and pray about it with your partner and talk to each other about what you feel like God may be trying to tell you - whether this is okay or not.

i love the questions you pose in this. cause i know for each couple the answers come out different.
like with Daddy and i as far as the causing someone to fall. the life has been more of a help for Him and me both then anything. finding Him gave me a chance to have someone to trust in again something i hadn't had in years and helped bring me back to God and the same with Daddy.
while others i know it has been a down fall for them and is something they really need to take a second look at. so i guess it really all depends on the people involved  

[Angel of the End]

As long as it is just between the husband and the wife, as in, no 3-ways, orgies, cheating or pornography is involved, I view it as just fine. ((In other words, I am not speaking directly to BDSM on this sentence... I am speaking about keeping the marriage bed pure regardless of sexual practices.))

BDSM is about trusting your partner completely, there is no actual abuse, the power-play is only imaginary. It's showing yourself at your weakest to your spouse, which in that sense, is no different than the trust a good marriage is based off of anyways. Just in the private lives of these people, it is expressed and confirmed differently.  

[Aoife]

check this site out...http://site.themarriagebed.com/front-page
it's a specific biblical site for marrieds and offers a lot of wonderful and useful advice.

here is something I ripped from it specifically about this.
Bondage, Spanking and BDSM

BDSM means bondage, discipline (or domination), sadomasochism (or slave-master or submission). This is a wide category with unclear boundaries; at "low levels”, playing at these things is fine provided both husband and wife enjoy them. However, all these things can be, or can become, fetishes, and then are wrong for that reason (see above). BDSM is openly sexual, and is different from so-called "Domestic Discipline".

Bondage: Tying a partner up can be very arousing for both of the one tied and the one who not tied. It can show a sense of trust, and can allow the bound person to feel free to do nothing and just receive. If bondage is mutually enjoyed and not extreme, we see no reason not to make it a part of a couple's sex life. Some people practice bondage in a way that causes pain, making it a form of S&M.
Spanking: There are valid biological reasons why mild pain can be arousing. Spanking, scratching and biting all fit into this category. We can find no scriptural or scientific reason to avoid this so long as both partners agree to it. However, if the pain is more than mild, this moves into S&M.
S&M: A sadist is sexually aroused by causing pain; a masochist is sexually aroused by receiving pain. Aside from the fact that this is virtually always a fetish, we do not see either behavior to be compatible with who God has called us to be. Desires for S&M may be a result of sexual or physical abuse in the past, or may reveal problems with self-image or self-confidence.
Dominance and Discipline: Sexual arousal from dominating or punishing another, or from being dominated or punished. This involves humiliation and degradation, and again we do not see it as compatible with who God calls us to be.

Here is the fettish part you didn't see in the "see above" lol
Fetishes

An individual with a fetish either can't have sex, or can't enjoy sex, without engaging in the fetish or fantasizing about it. Common fetishes are items like leather or high heels, activities like spanking, a man dressing up as a woman, or an inordinate fascination with body parts like feet or certain sized breasts. It's often hard to draw a clear line, since a preference is not a fetish until it becomes required for normal sexual function. For example, some people have an oral sex fetish, but most who enjoy oral sex do not have a fetish and can have sex without it.

Many folks say "It's harmless, just go along." However, the Bible tells us not to be controlled by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12), and we feel a fetish violates this scriptural principle. Fetishes are far more common in men than in women, and most fetishes seem to be a result of something that happened fairly early in life or early in a person's sexual awareness. Fetishes can be dealt with through therapy, but only if the person wants to change. (The AACC has some people trained to help with this.)

I think we should strive to be who God called us to be and if fetishes or a need for pain from something that happened to us as a child keeps us from that, I think it'd be great to seek some counseling for that, just as someone who is overcoming abuse needs it. I think healing from old hurts can only benefit us.  

[Aquatic_blue]

Lil Enslaved Kitten

Aquatic_blue

I'm not 100% familiar with BDSM, but I have heard of some of the activities people do in these types of relationships before. I cannot fully understand these behaviors, though, since I don't feel them and they are not involved with my relationship with my husband.

I see men and women as equals even though we both have different needs and mindsets. My main concern about BDSM is that people may get carried away by the activities involved that may be dangerous or cause our physical body to be harmed. Other times, people could possibly be emotionally or spiritually harmed by the lifestyle.

If I were involved in BDSM then I would probably ask myself first if it's something I would need or stop or something that's okay in my marriage. I would ask myself, "Would this call a brother or sister in Christ to fall?" and I would be concerned about how it would affect the marriage and our intimate activities as a couple. However, for me I'm more on the side of having gentleness and respect towards my husbands body. I love his body as if it were my own and treat it as such. I would be too afraid to accidentally harm him and would feel bad. Knowing me, I may have a sense of guilt or may feel "dirty"

Although, the Bible does not say anything in particular about this topic, that makes it a gray area. So no one here will be able to say if you're "100% right" or "100% wrong" by scripture alone because it can't exactly be proven. We can only decide if this is right, wrong, or possibly okay by how we think and feel and what we believe is right according to God.

Some things might be okay according to the intent. Fluffy and stretchy handcuffs might be okay to use if you both consent to the idea since those aren't as likely to harm or anything like that. Fluffy ticklers may be okay because they aren't likely to cause harm. However, I'm not a fan of being in control, having someone dominate me, or pain so I tend to steer clear from any type of bondage activities. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing and bring you together as a couple.

I'm not a fan of collars on people because we're human beings and not animals. God values us as human beings and wants us to fulfill his purposes for us in his life and we were meant to have power over the animals of the earth. Also, the style to me isn't all that attractive I suppose because it makes me wonder if someone has other underlying concerns in their life.

I truly believe it depends on your intent in the practice of BDSM. If it's something harmless and builds your intimacy with the person you're with and you feel no guilt or shame then it is probably okay. I don't like uglier forms to the practice that can cause cuts, scrapes, bruising, burns, or other forms of serious damage. You should examine why you do this and if it is truly acceptable in God's eyes. Ask yourself: Is your intent to hurt someone? Is your intent to feel more in power or under submission and why? Will this cause a brother or sister in Christ to fall? Can this behavior lead to behaviors that would cause you to sin or cause you temptation or guilt? Am I doing damage to myself or anyone else by continuing with this practice? Is there a specific reason I do this practice and can that be helped? Is this harmless or harmful to me or my partner physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?

It's also a good idea to talk about this and pray about it with your partner and talk to each other about what you feel like God may be trying to tell you - whether this is okay or not.

i love the questions you pose in this. cause i know for each couple the answers come out different.
like with Daddy and i as far as the causing someone to fall. the life has been more of a help for Him and me both then anything. finding Him gave me a chance to have someone to trust in again something i hadn't had in years and helped bring me back to God and the same with Daddy.
while others i know it has been a down fall for them and is something they really need to take a second look at. so i guess it really all depends on the people involved

Indeed, most people's answers for those question may come out to be different per couple and per person. It all boils down to where you stand on it, what your action for that behavior is, and if it's harming our physical temple. It's one of those situations where people truly need to seek answers for and pray about it smile  

[The Pollen Shed]

That's a tricky one, because it's not explicitly found in Scripture. However, there are key principles from Scripture which we ought to apply to everyday life.

In BDSM, what are you bound to? Are you bound to each other? Shouldn't we be bound to Christ and His Word alone (this is different than commitment, hear me out...)? And as we are bound to Christ, can we say that we participate in BDSM for Him? No. Christ is neither a sadist nor a masochist. And he certainly does not dominate (Mark 10:45).

Eph. 5:22-33 clearly lays out the pattern of godly marriage: A woman respecting and following her husband as the Church follows Christ and a husband loving and sacrificing himself as Christ died for His bride, the Church.

So while the Bible does not explicitly say "No BSDM," it gives a clear picture of how a Christ-like marriage should look. If your marriage does not look like Jesus, than something is wrong.

Besides that, there are certain psychological affects of regularly participating in BDSM: subconscious degradation of the opposite gender, self-driven satisfaction and abusive tendencies.

All that to say: I think it's spiritually dangerous and does not show Christ to each other or to your neighbours. What's more important? Your sex life or your witness of who Christ is? I suggest reading The Song of Solomon.  

[Rednal]

There's also little details like the fact that the sub is usually the one who sets the boundaries; frankly, I don't really think it matters what you do in your sex life unless you're uncomfortable with it. So you have some preferences other than what your current society views as totally standard. This is... supposed to be a problem? I mean, yeah, if you were all tied up under your clothes when you went to church and spent a whole service being excited and not focusing, I suppose some might consider that to be a problem, but as long as you have control over it and recognize where to draw the line, then feel free to do what you want.