love related advice

[hawkmaster91]

I have fallen deeply, madly and completely irrevocably in love with my best friend. she is very accepting of me being transgender, from a friends stand point. We've been talking alot lately, and I'm pretty sure she has developed feelings for me. I'm worried about how she wound stand on me being transgender if we acted on our feelings  

[MisaMaiValentine]

Before making anything official I would talk to her about how she would feel in that kind of a relationship and make sure everything would be fine. And make sure that she's up to that kind of relationship with you instead of just being friends. And another thing to consider is if you two would still be friends if you were to break up  

[hawkmaster91]

Believe me, I am taking these things into account. Thanks for the advice  

[MisaMaiValentine]

I'm sorry if I didn't help much and I wish you luck!  

[hawkmaster91]

you helped a LOT actually  

[MisaMaiValentine]

Oh, really? I'm glad! Best of luck!  

[hawkmaster91]

thank you  

[hawkmaster91]

I'm just afraid to tell her how i feel  

[MisaMaiValentine]

Then find a way to trick it out of her if she likes you or not. If you know she does then it will be easier for you  

[Prince Ikari]

I have a bit of experience in this area. For awhile I believed I was transgender, and during that time, I developed feelings for two women, one who I would later come to date, and the other, develop strong feelings for. The first, did not mind at all that I [thought I] was transgender, despite being straight. She in fact thought it was actually kinda cool, since she was more of a girly girl, and felt that if I was a girl too, we could do more things like that, such as dress up and other feminine things. We broke up, but it was not related to the transgender thing. The second, is where things got complicated. The woman I fell for was a lesbian. After awhile, she developed feelings for me too. From the time I had met her, she had always viewed me as the woman I thought I was. She saw pass my male body (which she considered a perk for the sexual department but that's another story). When I later came to the realization that I did not believe I was truly transgender, our love for one another became somewhat strained. For awhile, she was okay with everything, because by that time, we had really bonded, regardless of the other factors, but in the end, she could not accept me as someone she could be with because I was the opposite gender. She ended up falling for another woman who was a lesbian and subsequently left me.

My advice to you would be to talk to her about your feelings. You clearly have feelings for her, and she seems to have some feelings for you as well. She accepts that you are transgender, and I imagine regardless of what she says to your feelings, that the two of you will still be friends. There is no way to determine how she would respond regarding those feelings and you being transgender. If she is bisexual, I imagine she could careless what gender you are. If she is straight, things may get tricky, especially if you have yet to have any hormone therapy or sex-reassignment surgery. It may be uncomfortable to care for you once you physically become a woman. If she happens to be a lesbian, then things can still be a little tricky. As a lesbian, she can see you as a woman, but if you still have a male physical body, it may make things difficult for her to accept, as had happened to me. I really cared for my lesbian lover, but the fact I was going to always be physically male, was too much for her. I do think though that you should tell her how you feel. Love is special, and if you love her, and want to really be with her, well it's definitely worth a try to make something happen. =)  

[hawkmaster91]

she thinks of me as her bff  

[Prince Ikari]

That is still good! ^^  

[meligoth666]

I am going to give you my personal factoid about transgendered relationships here in merry old Denver.

One gay couple and the rest, straight and healthy relationships.

It takes the metaphorical cojones to strive for a great relationship and since you dress as a girl, what is so different?

The only thing I can assure you with all my heart is that being trans does not mean you are not deserving of anything one who is not are able to get in life. I can understand you have worries that you may not be the right person, but who the bloody hell thinks they are anyways with the right gal or boy no matter how they swing or identify.

Holey moley! You are a trans girl in love.... take off the trans girl... you are still in love!

Life is weird, you are not.  

[hawkmaster91]

thank you all for the feedback