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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:03 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 7:45 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 7:50 am
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:55 am
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What is probably best to do at this point if you truly love him and wish to stay with him is to keep your beliefs and don't falter in your faith unless you feel that God wants you to change it, or have evidence from the Bible supporting whether you should change certain beliefs or not change them at all. Truly, prayer is a great option to start for your relationship. Praying together would be an excellent thing to do together.
I suppose if it was me in that situation - if I was dating for almost 4 years, I would ask if the guy has any intentions on marrying. I've known couples that were Christian and dated for over 5 years and then all of a sudden one finds out the other doesn't have the intent on marrying. I also knew someone who wasn't Christian and dated her boyfriend for like 10 years and she was always eagerly waiting until the day he would propose. She asked him one day, "Are you ever going to marry me?" and he said, "No." That broke her heart, but it's better to pick up and move on, and find a guy that dates with the intention to marry. Dating is meant to find someone you truly love and you both need to be sure that you are 100% committed to God and committed to a relationship to follow through into marriage and lifetime commitment. I don't say these things to a couple with ill intent, but to simply find out where both of you stand because if one person is 100% committed and the other person is committed only 50% of the time then there is a large problem.
I understand that it's hard to be in an unequally yoked relationship, and try not to sound intimidating to the other person. Our beliefs affect our daily lives, and if we marry someone, which is a lifetime commitment, and it's important to find common ground somewhere. If you two were to get married or continue this relationship, you need to ask yourself what the lasting effects on this current situation would be if it wasn't 100% resolved.
There are interesting effects on those who do and don't get forced by parents to go to church. I was always forced to go to church in my parent's household and after 18 years of age, they would threaten to take away the hobbies I enjoyed at home and say I couldn't hang out with friends if I didn't attend. However, their church wasn't exactly Biblical and I often struggled with it. My parents appear to others as the nice Christian people, but I know there is a problem deep inside that is far from being Christian. False and twisted doctrine is so branded on their heart that they believe it's the truth. I remember when I was struggling with my faith for a while and I felt like I wanted to stay away from church because it was miserable to me for some unknown reason besides there being only a select few that would talk to me. Perhaps your boyfriend has had issues with parents seeming perfect to others religiously when at home it's a different story so he wants to stray from that idea. That seems like a logical explanation of why he doesn't want to attend church, youth groups, or any other church type of event. I remember when I was younger, church events were boring because they simply did not teach the Bible. It may be a good idea to talk to him and do most of the listening. Like, perhaps say, "I'm concerned about why you won't go near church activities. What's wrong?" And after talking a bit, maybe he'll tell you if there is a specific reason why he feels the way he does.
As believers, we are still supposed to help each other. We are to help others whether they believe or not. Perhaps try to do a Bible study together. I loved doing Bible studies with my husband and still enjoy it! We used to do it before we got married as well. Touch on topics that may be familiar with both sides at first such as the Holy Spirit, love, prayer, forgiveness, mercy, grace, etc. and slowly ease your way into where you both stand on heavier topics such as laws in the Bible (including the 10 commandments), Relationships (such as friendships, brother and sister in Christ relationships, family relationships, etc.), etc.
Sorry if I typed a lot, the bottom line is that you two should try to pray together, read the Holy Bible together, talk about Biblical stances and issues, etc. Most of all, be kind and gentle - not matter the circumstance.
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