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since im married to a man im straight?

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Shanna66

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:08 pm
as a bisexual i get told things like that alot, that im only bisexual when im single and since im in a hetero relationship then that means im straight. i find this type of thinking really offensive.

yes, i am married to a man and ill probably never touch any lady bits other than my own ever again, or if we ever try a threesome. but im still very much attracted to women. i still have sex dreams about women and i still have sex dreams about men. i still watch porn with women because i still enjpy seeing breasts and other fun lady parts.

just a mini rant from a frustrated bisexual. ive even found this crazy type of thinking from lgbt supporters which amazed me, though i guess i should stop acting suprised whenever i discover more biphobia from either side  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:18 pm
I understand what you are going through sweatdrop . I go to college at a small private school and everyone tells me I'm straight that I'm just saying that I'm bisexual for attention. It is very annoying, and very more annoying when it is coming from the VP of your GSA. haha we had bi-popular demand come to my college and I got a offical bi-sexual membership card, so I can show it to people if they give me grief. I'll post a picture of it if I can.  

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:19 pm
My best friend fell in love with a girl, and for a few years she identified as a lesbian. As she grew to understand herself more, she felt that she wasn't a lesbian, but was pansexual. Now, she's with a guy.

When some of her friends found out, they accused her of having claimed to be gay to get attention, or to be trendy. The gossip behind her back was even worse.

"You can never trust bisexual girls. They always end up either being fakes, or cheating on you with a guy."

emotion_facepalm

Some friends dropped her when they found out she was gay, and then others did the same when they found out she wasn't. Ugh.  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:25 pm
xoKaityPoo
I understand what you are going through sweatdrop . I go to college at a small private school and everyone tells me I'm straight that I'm just saying that I'm bisexual for attention.


That's one reason why I've not told many people I know IRL that I'm bisexual.

Just because I'm engaged to a man doesn't mean I don't find women attractive anymore. I do. And I'm engaged to a great guy because he doesn't mind at all when I look. <3 He knows of course and doesn't mind at all.
 

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:07 pm
Unfortunately, I don't believe that this sort of thing will ever end.

It's just the close-minded and ignorant nature of general society. They simply haven't been educated enough about sexuality.

I pray there is a time when it doesn't matter what you are, or who you love, but simply that you love. I think the day we get rid of orientation labels is the day that we truly, as the LGBTQ community, gain our liberation.  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:14 pm
Your relationship now is a heterosexual one, but that doesn't change one's sexuality. If you are still attracted to women as well, you are still bi. I know of some gay people in heterosexual marriages and they are still gay, so it didn't change their sexuality.

Sexuality can be fluid and change at times, but only that person would know and it isn't something that is forced.  

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:25 pm
I can understand this. I get identified as gay, and after this long, I just kinda go with it, since my personal interests are more alligned with my own gender. But I'm bi. But every time I try to argue it, i get a lot of lines about how basically i'm lieing, and I'm a queer, and all that mess. I can understand the frustration.

...though, one of my friends from high school was pretty...eh..hard pressed to come to terms with how I am when I told him. Word for the wise...if you know your bi, or gay, or whatever...and you got a great friend who thinks your straight...just tell 'em. If they're good friends, they'll stick around. if not, you didn't need 'em. 'cause the longer you don't tell them, if they aren't expecting it of you secretly, the harder it is for them to accept it. or Just takes longer for many to figure out how, exactly to react.  
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:22 am
Tumble13
I can understand this. I get identified as gay, and after this long, I just kinda go with it, since my personal interests are more alligned with my own gender. But I'm bi. But every time I try to argue it, i get a lot of lines about how basically i'm lieing, and I'm a queer, and all that mess. I can understand the frustration.

...though, one of my friends from high school was pretty...eh..hard pressed to come to terms with how I am when I told him. Word for the wise...if you know your bi, or gay, or whatever...and you got a great friend who thinks your straight...just tell 'em. If they're good friends, they'll stick around. if not, you didn't need 'em. 'cause the longer you don't tell them, if they aren't expecting it of you secretly, the harder it is for them to accept it. or Just takes longer for many to figure out how, exactly to react.


ive already come out to all the people worth coming out to. my dad, sister, husband, and best friend. so unless someone asks and i tell them i am bisexual i really dont mind if they assume im straight. its just the people who know im bi and call me straight that get on my nerves.



luckily ive never been accused of flip flopping, ive only had one girlfriend. but im sure there are plenty of people out there who think im only bi for the attention since i havent had many girlfriends.  

Shanna66

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:22 am
xoKaityPoo
I understand what you are going through sweatdrop . I go to college at a small private school and everyone tells me I'm straight that I'm just saying that I'm bisexual for attention. It is very annoying, and very more annoying when it is coming from the VP of your GSA. haha we had bi-popular demand come to my college and I got a offical bi-sexual membership card, so I can show it to people if they give me grief. I'll post a picture of it if I can.


a membership card? that sounds wonderful lol  
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:49 pm
It happens I suppose. If there was a reason for this I would say it could be for situations similar to one myself and others have encountered. Dated this one girl for three years, told me she was tired of women and ran off. Very short version obviously, and you cannot judge actions of one person on a whole. That's what everyone in the LGBT community is trying to avoid, but we still do it sometimes. It's hard to not think about that one person you dated that "left you for the other gender" and then just assume they will all end up straight. I think that is part of where the mentality comes from if that makes sense?  

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:12 pm
I get this. Our GSA on campus wasn't fond of Bi-sexual either, so our Prof brought out the Kensy scale and asked people to put themselves on it. When I told my mom I was bi, she decided it was "Just a phase" the same way she has with her other (younger) daughter. Here's the thing: If I was a teenager who already questioned who I was, what I believed in, etc, I might have agreed with her. That it was "Just a phase" and I was only "Idolizing a girl, because I wanted to be just like her/her best friend." I might have decided to say I was straight because that was how to keep things comfortable at her house.

However: Teenagers do know themselves more than we give them credit for. That self may change minute to minute but they do know who they are. Also, I'm an adult now. I haven't "grown out of my infatuation". I grew out of an infatuation with a girl, yes. But I still find them attractive. My fiance knows this, and he doesn't mind. The rules of our relationship mean there is no outside parties, ever. So if I flirt with a girl, he can get annoyed. He usually doesn't though, since the girls I flirt with are friends, and we know it's nothing serious. Also, I totally want a membership card. smile  
PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:36 am
See, this is what pisses me off about the terms "gay marriage" and "straight marriage". It doesn't include all the gray areas of sexuality, like bisexuals, pansexuals, transsexuals, etc. They should just be called "same-sex marriage" and "opposite-sex marriage." That way every other sexual orientation can be included.
Some people, unfortunately, don't understand what being bisexual means. One of my favorite local radio broadcasters, for example, doesn't seem to understand. He seems to think it means that you are constantly changing the label of your sexual orientation from gay to straight and back again. I guess he's sort of on the right track, but he doesn't seem to understand that for bisexuals, their orientation never changes, they are just constantly bisexual, no matter if their partner is male or female.  

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:45 pm
Shanna66
as a bisexual i get told things like that alot, that im only bisexual when im single and since im in a hetero relationship then that means im straight. i find this type of thinking really offensive.

yes, i am married to a man and ill probably never touch any lady bits other than my own ever again, or if we ever try a threesome. but im still very much attracted to women. i still have sex dreams about women and i still have sex dreams about men. i still watch porn with women because i still enjpy seeing breasts and other fun lady parts.

just a mini rant from a frustrated bisexual. ive even found this crazy type of thinking from lgbt supporters which amazed me, though i guess i should stop acting suprised whenever i discover more biphobia from either side


No! Your still lesbian and straight, your no where near solid straight  
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 7:12 pm
Taeryyn
My best friend fell in love with a girl, and for a few years she identified as a lesbian. As she grew to understand herself more, she felt that she wasn't a lesbian, but was pansexual. Now, she's with a guy.

When some of her friends found out, they accused her of having claimed to be gay to get attention, or to be trendy. The gossip behind her back was even worse.

"You can never trust bisexual girls. They always end up either being fakes, or cheating on you with a guy."

emotion_facepalm

Some friends dropped her when they found out she was gay, and then others did the same when they found out she wasn't. Ugh.


I LITERALLY had the same problem. I'm so tired of hearing that crap from my friends. Yeah, I date guys, so what? That doesn't mean I don't like chicks.  

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:59 am
Sunshine Peach-Heart
See, this is what pisses me off about the terms "gay marriage" and "straight marriage". It doesn't include all the gray areas of sexuality, like bisexuals, pansexuals, transsexuals, etc. They should just be called "same-sex marriage" and "opposite-sex marriage." That way every other sexual orientation can be included.
Some people, unfortunately, don't understand what being bisexual means. One of my favorite local radio broadcasters, for example, doesn't seem to understand. He seems to think it means that you are constantly changing the label of your sexual orientation from gay to straight and back again. I guess he's sort of on the right track, but he doesn't seem to understand that for bisexuals, their orientation never changes, they are just constantly bisexual, no matter if their partner is male or female.


I TOTALLY agree with you on both points.

Simply calling every marriage "marriage" would be best, in my opinion. No labels. Just plain and simple "marriage" since labeling each marriage (at least to me) is, I don't know, kind of redundant and could pose troubles, i.e. people just targeting the "homosexual marriages" or whatever. Don't know if ANY of that made sense.

And being bisexual myself, I especially hate when people keep questioning your sexuality because you like two genders slash call you "greedy." Meh, can't I just admire the finer points of guys and gals? >_>  
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