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 Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:05 pm
I feel this can be debatable seeing as I am kind of debating about this in the LD forum. This user's parents died and so she is taking care of her brother who is 15 and she works two jobs and pays for everything.
Well she had a party before work and it was a small party and so she left without cleaning up and when she came back she asked her brother to clean up the mess and it wasn't a big mess just four cans of soda and some chips.
Well the brother didn't want to do it because it was not his mess to clean and he didn't make it and as a result she took away every single technology he had because she works two jobs and pays for everything and because he refused to clean up after her he is ungrateful and thus everything needs to be taken away.
I honestly think that is a load of BS because I am seeing it as, he just doesn't want to clean up YOUR mess, the mess you made before going to work. It's not like he refused to wash the dishes or vacum or dust. He just didn't want to enable you and make you think that you can make a mess before work and forget and thus have him clean up.
I mean hell I wouldn't clean up after someone if they were dumb enough to have a little party before work. Were you running late or something? No? Then pick up your damn cans and chips and throw them away!
But that is just me and it seems only one other user has the same opinion and others think she is in the right and it just seems like they are seeing simply as she asked him to clean and he got bitchy about it.
But what do you think and what would you do in her situation?
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:17 pm
Well, I can see why you would say that, but I'm siding with the sister here.
Keep in mind she is working two jobs to be able to take care of him. She doesn't have to, and lots of jerks out there would just let him get thrown into foster care. A little help around the house (four soda cans does not a disaster area make!) would be expected of him even if their parents were still alive. Probably even more chores than what she's asking of him now.
If he didn't want to do it he could have said so the moment she asked. He's being immature, selfish, spoiled, and a jerk. Even if he is grieving - and it sounds like they're both dealing with tons of grief and depression - he has no reason to be so childish about the matter.
Time to man up, little boy.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:20 pm
~ It's situation like these that are the best for me, because I'm not biased towards them. I think both of them were wrong and right in a manner. Her brother was definitely wrong in my opinion. They are all they have left; she provides for him, she pays the bills, works two jobs and he can't pick up a small amount of trust? On the other hand, it was HER party and she should clean up her mess. For her, it may've been wrong to ask her brother, because he's young, he doesn't understand that they're all they have left for each other. Then again, her asking him to clean up was kind of like asking him to take responsibility. ~
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:21 pm
Gigi Deveraux Well, I can see why you would say that, but I'm siding with the sister here. Keep in mind she is working two jobs to be able to take care of him. She doesn't have to, and lots of jerks out there would just let him get thrown into foster care. A little help around the house (four soda cans does not a disaster area make!) would be expected of him even if their parents were still alive. Probably even more chores than what she's asking of him now. If he didn't want to do it he could have said so the moment she asked. He's being immature, selfish, spoiled, and a jerk. Even if he is grieving - and it sounds like they're both dealing with tons of grief and depression - he has no reason to be so childish about the matter. Time to man up, little boy.
I disagree if anything she was being childish, she took all of his stuff away for a month and said maybe even longer for being a jerk. I mean that alone, like seriously just for being a jerk? It sounds childish to me to take everything away.
It was a rude comment yes and he should have been nicer about it but he wasn't and she is just acting out of anger because of his tone and choice of words.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:27 pm
little aishi chan
I disagree if anything she was being childish, she took all of his stuff away for a month and said maybe even longer for being a jerk. I mean that alone, like seriously just for being a jerk? It sounds childish to me to take everything away.
It was a rude comment yes and he should have been nicer about it but he wasn't and she is just acting out of anger because of his tone and choice of words.
That's actually a mild punishment, as far as they go. I still say she was right to do it. We shall agree to disagree here, I think.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:33 pm
Hey_there_hun ~ It's situation like these that are the best for me, because I'm not biased towards them. I think both of them were wrong and right in a manner. Her brother was definitely wrong in my opinion. They are all they have left; she provides for him, she pays the bills, works two jobs and he can't pick up a small amount of trust? On the other hand, it was HER party and she should clean up her mess. For her, it may've been wrong to ask her brother, because he's young, he doesn't understand that they're all they have left for each other. Then again, her asking him to clean up was kind of like asking him to take responsibility. ~
I almost saw it from both sides as well because she did work and he could help out, but yeah the whole party thing and the fact that she hosted it and made the mess with her friends who she didn't even bother to say "hey you guys, you were part of this party help me clean up!" They all should have clean up their mess.
I just think that if it had been something else like the dishes or cleaning his room and he got pissy then yeah take something away.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:35 pm
Gigi Deveraux little aishi chan
I disagree if anything she was being childish, she took all of his stuff away for a month and said maybe even longer for being a jerk. I mean that alone, like seriously just for being a jerk? It sounds childish to me to take everything away.
It was a rude comment yes and he should have been nicer about it but he wasn't and she is just acting out of anger because of his tone and choice of words.
That's actually a mild punishment, as far as they go. I still say she was right to do it. We shall agree to disagree here, I think.
Eh, yeah agree to disagree. I'm just stuck on the part where it was her party and he was asked to clean up after people who could have helped out.
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Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:47 pm
~ ~
Lil late to the discussion but i'll just add my two cents:
I don't see anything wrong with what she did, if anything if she wanted too she could have said "Hey can you do me a favor would you clean up after me--" blah blah blah. I mean who are we to really judge? This is only one scenario but I have a feeling she cleans up after him alot- She probably does the laundry, the dishes, making sure the bathrooms are clean ontop of her financial responsibilities, the fact he had the audacity too see a mess merely has her mess even though she probably on occasion had to clean up things that one would label his mess. It's not about yours and mine its about ours.
There a family--its different than if they were roommates or something because then I would be like "F DAT Clean up Yo MESS"
Empathy is the word--she's sacrificing so much and no one is forcing her to do it but she does it because she wants too, she loves him she don't want to see him go to a foster or other family members home and shes doing what she can to somehow keep everything together of her last intermediate family, so she splurge and had a lil party to unwind--he could have fuss and complain but he should have clean up anyway without her telling him because its making something a lil easier for her --to do something nice for her--too pull some weight and he's not doing it because he has too but because he wants too.
The brother needs more empathy because RELATIONSHIPS in general you can't count how many "rights" someone has done or "wrongs" if both parties don't try to help each other in wanting to make life a bit easier for the other person it will always fall apart.
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