Welcome to Gaia! ::

Pretty much what the title says.
I need to learn how to keep a journal because every single attempt of mine has failed.
And I lost a bet, so here is my journal.

Slight warning, there will be cursing rather often and some rather adult references.


Day 1 ~

Well, I lost a bet with my friend Raechell involving one of my RP characters and somehow we ended up here.
I honestly have to wonder what goes on in that girls head at times.
Well, I am currently in a bad mood. A VERY bad mood. (my friends say that blasting Three Days Grace doesn't help my mood but I tend to disagree.)
See, my Dad (who is still recovering from shoulder surgery) has just been....strange. When my Mom's at work he's on his ******** cam-to-cam porn sites or M Rated Fanfics.
His laptop is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE. And he does this EVERY WEEKDAY.
It's to the point where I'm SCARED to go on the computer until he's left to pick up my Mom. The first time he did this, it was during spring break and he actually SPOKE TO ME while he did it. I spent the next hour in my Mimi's room, crying my eyes out and shaking terribly...I was so scared because, I'd never seen him do that.
I'm not going to confront him though.
As much as it bothers me, I just want to pretend it DOESN'T HAPPEN.

Even still, it terrifies me and whats even scarrier is that my LITTLE NINE YEAR OLD SISTER is in the house sometimes.

WHAT IF SHE SEES HIM?!

I like to think I'm mature enough to deal with this because I actually KNOW what he's doing and I understand that it's just a part of human nature but my sister, who still knows almost nothing about this, could be scared even more than I am.

Thankfully, she's outside most of the time.

Then, when he comes home with my Mother he has the NERVE to act like nothing happened. Like I didn't see what he was doing.

I'm not going to tell my Mom either, my parents have a very strained relationship right now and I don't want to stress her even more, especially with her boss getting a new job and her (maybe) getting his old job. She also gets easily upset or frustrated and I hate hearing them argue...It scares me, actually.

I'm worried that my parents are going to just break one day and then divorce...I don't think my sister or I could handle that.

Then, of course, my parents barely spend any time with us. Sure, we go out during the summer sometimes but around the house?
We're practically invisible...No wonder my sister throws tempertantrums often, she wants them to PAY ATTENTION TO HER for once.

It seems more like our grandparents, whom we live with, are more like our parents. Well, actually my Mimi. My Poppy finds every excuse to yell at us.

I don't talk to my friends about this...Not even my close friends. I'm always the one who's there for others, I don't want to trouble them with my burdens. Besides, they'll just think I'm whining and having a personal pity-party anyway.

Well, that's all that I can think to write right now...
Please comment, if you can think of anything to say.

~Angel

@Gigi - Thanks for the advice.

Day 2 ~

Well, there was a fire in the trailer park behind my house. We don't know the details yet, though. I'm not sure if there was anybody hurt or what but my sister's an emotional wreck. She has friends in the trailer park and she doesn't know if they were in that trailer...

It was at around 2 am and I was still awake when I saw blue and red lights flashing in my window. I'd thought that someone had finally been pulled over for speeding (it happens often both here and in the trailer park) so I crawled to my sister's bed and opened the blinds to see this HUGE fire engulfling at least half of the trailer. I could smell it burning and feel the heat, even from my room with the window closed.

Anyway, nothing much besides the fire has happened.

Feel free to comment
~Angel.