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 Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:52 pm
I've always been a dweller on things, and lately an old friend and I came to a point where I no longer consider us friends. Unfortunately, I'll still see her because of our mutual group of friends.
I honestly think talking is usually the way to go, but she refused to talk, and she's always been one to stay in denial, lie her way out of things. She's more passive aggressive than me.
I just want to know if anyone has any advice on how to really get yourself to not care about something. I don't want to cause a fight or drama with my friends, but every time I see her, I get so annoyed.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:14 pm
 TheAristocratSays:
I understand exactly how you feel, and the desire to not have these feelings pull you down.
To be honest, though, I think you're naturally a caring person, so even though you want to be rid of these you're going against your nature so it's difficult for your mind to comprehend.
(I hope that makes sense, hehe~!)
You've tried talking, and it's not worked as she refuses to talk.
Try and say this over and over again to yourself, look in a mirror and say it aloud if you have to (if it helps you, i mean) and think to yourself that you don't need this, and you don't need to worry about this.
You've done the normal human thing and tried to sit down and discuss this and she is the one who's stubbornly clinging to her self-righteousness.
(I won't ask what's caused the situation, but if you want to say that's fine) ^^
The only think I can think of is to keep telling yourself that you've tried but because she's being stubborn you'll never be able to get through. If you wish, let her come to you, but until then enjoy your time with your friends (even if she is there)
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:27 pm
Aristocrat In Pink TheAristocratSays:
I understand exactly how you feel, and the desire to not have these feelings pull you down.
To be honest, though, I think you're naturally a caring person, so even though you want to be rid of these you're going against your nature so it's difficult for your mind to comprehend.
(I hope that makes sense, hehe~!)
You've tried talking, and it's not worked as she refuses to talk.
Try and say this over and over again to yourself, look in a mirror and say it aloud if you have to (if it helps you, i mean) and think to yourself that you don't need this, and you don't need to worry about this.
You've done the normal human thing and tried to sit down and discuss this and she is the one who's stubbornly clinging to her self-righteousness.
(I won't ask what's caused the situation, but if you want to say that's fine) ^^
The only think I can think of is to keep telling yourself that you've tried but because she's being stubborn you'll never be able to get through. If you wish, let her come to you, but until then enjoy your time with your friends (even if she is there)
Thank you. I just wish there was an instant "I dun give a ********" button. Since January she's ignored me as much as possible, and when I tried to ask her to call me to talk things out, she told me to leave her alone. Then a mutual friend that knew we were "fighting" told me part of the problem is my relationship. Mainly my husband. I don't see why just because she doesn't like my husband she wants to outright ignore me. And then she goes on about how my girlfriend is a princess that expects everyone to do what she wants. And when this was brought up, and I told said friend to talk to my girlfriend {they were friends too}, she refused, kept talking crap about her to me. I just realized that she's not a good person to have in my life. She's undependable, she never takes responsibility for her actions, always making excuses. And obviously the worst is the fact that she talks about people behind their backs when she has a problem with them instead of talking to the person.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:39 pm
Digital Fiend Thank you. I just wish there was an instant "I dun give a ********" button. Since January she's ignored me as much as possible, and when I tried to ask her to call me to talk things out, she told me to leave her alone. Then a mutual friend that knew we were "fighting" told me part of the problem is my relationship. Mainly my husband. I don't see why just because she doesn't like my husband she wants to outright ignore me. And then she goes on about how my girlfriend is a princess that expects everyone to do what she wants. And when this was brought up, and I told said friend to talk to my girlfriend {they were friends too}, she refused, kept talking crap about her to me. I just realized that she's not a good person to have in my life. She's undependable, she never takes responsibility for her actions, always making excuses. And obviously the worst is the fact that she talks about people behind their backs when she has a problem with them instead of talking to the person. TheAristocratSays:
If life had one of those buttons, I'd be using it daily. XD
I understand what you mean though and I'm sorry to hear she's being this way.
Do you know why she doesn't like your husband?
Do any of your other friends have husbands or wives that she doesn't get along with?
It's sound like you've been through a lot with her, and I can see it in your writing that you're completely fed up. *hugs*
Keep in touch~!
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:44 pm
Aristocrat In Pink TheAristocratSays:
If life had one of those buttons, I'd be using it daily. XD
I understand what you mean though and I'm sorry to hear she's being this way.
Do you know why she doesn't like your husband?
Do any of your other friends have husbands or wives that she doesn't get along with?
It's sound like you've been through a lot with her, and I can see it in your writing that you're completely fed up. *hugs*
Keep in touch~!
Only one other friend of mine has a husband, and right now she's obsessed with said friend. {She kind of fangirls, she used to do it with Eevee, my gf}. The only thing that I can think of is that her boyfriend and my husband used to be friends, and friends rant to each other. Maybe her boyfriend told her something out of context or something. I mean, I've heard some of the stuff that her boyfriend has said, but I know that it's just ranting and that he's still a good guy. She's just always had this ideal of love. One love for life, forever. And while no one's said anything to me about it, she started hard core ignoring me after I became pregnant. But the above mutual friend has a 2 year old daughter, so I have no idea. We've been friends since early middle school, and now we're 25/24.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:46 pm
Thank you btw, it's nice being able to talk to someone about this, since I've been trying my best not to rant/talk about her around friends.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 2:00 pm
Digital Fiend Only one other friend of mine has a husband, and right now she's obsessed with said friend. {She kind of fangirls, she used to do it with Eevee, my gf}. The only thing that I can think of is that her boyfriend and my husband used to be friends, and friends rant to each other. Maybe her boyfriend told her something out of context or something. I mean, I've heard some of the stuff that her boyfriend has said, but I know that it's just ranting and that he's still a good guy. She's just always had this ideal of love. One love for life, forever. And while no one's said anything to me about it, she started hard core ignoring me after I became pregnant. But the above mutual friend has a 2 year old daughter, so I have no idea. We've been friends since early middle school, and now we're 25/24. TheAristocratSays:
Thank you for replying~!
The only reason I asked is that I wondered if she was jealous of your relationship and if she had a history of being this way.
This is really strange though, considering her relationship with your other friend who's married and has a child.
Is your husband and her boyfriend still friends?
I honestly have no idea why she's acting this way towards you but I strongly believe that this is her issue what with what you've written to me and you don't deserve to feel this way.
Does your husband know about this? About how you feel?
Stay strong~! You're a good person. emotion_hug
Keep in touch~!
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 2:02 pm
Digital Fiend Thank you btw, it's nice being able to talk to someone about this, since I've been trying my best not to rant/talk about her around friends.
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